"Did anything about that seem strange to you?" Mal asked, as he and Zoe walked back toward Serenity. Zoe looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Other than the fact that Badger was smiling, sir?" she replied. "Cause that's all sorts of unusual." Mal nodded and looked over at his second in command.
"How's he know bout River anyway?" he asked. "Makes me a mite uncomfortable that he was asking bout her."
"Well, sir," Zoe replied. "He did meet her once. Few months back, after that fancy shindig you and Kaylee went to. You were locked up by Atheron Wing so Badger and his goons stopped by to ensure we wouldn't run off and be big damn heroes trying to rescue you. I think River made an impression on him, sir."
"Huh," came the response. "Guess I have to have a little talk with my albatross."
"Might be a wise idea, sir," Zoe agreed.
They walked in silence the rest of the way back to the ship and were met on the ramp by Simon.
"Have you seen River?" he asked in a worried tone. Zoe shook her head.
"You haven't lost your sister, now, have you doc?" Mal asked as they walked into the cargo hold. He closed the ramp behind him and looked at the doc.
"I'm sure she's around here somewhere, sir," Zoe continued. River popped her head up from a metal grate below their feet.
"You found me, Simon!" she said cheerfully. Mal looked down at her, then smiled up at the doc.
"See, doc," he said, as though he had been in on it the whole time. "She was playing hide and seek." Simon sighed and turned around, heading back to the infirmary. Mal leaned over and whispered to Zoe.
"I didn't know we had a compartment down there," he said. Zoe raised an eyebrow and look at River, who was crawling out of the hole in the metal plating.
"We didn't, sir," she replied before she walked off. River stood up and straightened out her dress. She turned to leave, but before she could go far, Mal reached out and grabbed one of her arms.
"Now, where are you going, l'il albatross?" he asked. River smiled sweetly at him.
"Not little," she replied. "Haven't been for a long time. Headed to the bridge. The little man gave my Captain a new job and I must pilot us to our destination."
"Why don't we do that together," Mal said after a moment. "You and me gots to have us a little chat." Still holding onto her arm, Mal headed up to the bridge. He sat River down in one of the seats and sat down to begin the take-off sequence. They worked in silence for a few moments until the ship broke atmo. Setting it on auto-pilot, Mal turned his chair toward River and regarded her for a moment. River tried not to look at him directly, but the weight of his stare was too much. Guiltily, she looked up at him.
"Do you know what we need to talk about, River?" Mal asked in a serious tone. River tried hard not to read him, but a few images leaked through.
Badger, River, compromise, say hello to that pretty flower petal.
"She is sorry, captain," she burst out. "She didn't mean any harm. Didn't think you would know and didn't think he would say anything. It was just a kiss, she swears it!" Mal had sat up straighter during her outburst, but at hearing this last part, he shot up out of his chair.
"What's this now, mei mei?" he asked. "What's this about a kiss?" River looked away and realized she had said too much.
"You didn't know about the kiss," she said. It was a statement not a question.
"No I didn't know 'bout any gorram kiss!" he shouted, his voice thundering through the small bridge. River looked at him sheepishly.
"It was just a small kiss," she said in a tiny voice. "Well, mostly."
"Mostly!" Mal sputtered. "That gorram hun dan took advantage of you and kissed you! I'm gonna kill him."
Zoe had heard the yelling from below decks and had come to investigate.
"Sir," she said as she walked onto the bridge. "Is everything alright?" Mal turned and looked at her, speechless for a moment. He pointed at River, who was trying to make herself blend in with the pilot's chair.
"I just found out why Badger was so interested in River," he said. "Seems at some point he took advantage of her and kissed her!" Zoe looked from River to Mal, then back to River.
"Sure it wasn't the other way around, sir?" she asked, trying not to show the smirk that threatened to push forward. River looked up at her and tried not to smile. Mal tried not to look so flustered, but he wasn't succeeding. Finally, he took a deep breath and turned to his first mate.
"Zoe," he stated. "You're a woman. Please deal with this. I have captain-y things I need to go do. Such as figuring out how to kill Badger next time we see him." Mal turned and walked off the bridge. Zoe looked down at River, who was setting their flight course. She sat down in the chair next to River, unsure what to say.
"I misunderstood the meaning of the Captain's thoughts," River said as she turned and looked at Zoe. "Thought he knew."
"Why did you kiss Badger?" Zoe asked after a while. River smiled sheepishly and stared down at the console.
"Had to make sure he would never turn me in. Copper for a kiss," she replied. Zoe could at least understand that much. In her own unique way, River had ensured Badger's loyalty. What Zoe couldn't understand was why River was smiling about it.
"It was a very good kiss," River replied, looking up as though she heard Zoe's thought. Zoe shuddered in slight revulsion and stood to leave.
"I'm gonna go help the Captain do his captain-y things," she said and walked off the bridge.
