Aoba woke up in Koujaku's bed again. The other man wasn't there, but he recognised the familiar red quilt that often reminded him of the colour of Koujaku's eyes. He breathed in deeply, rolling over so his face was buried into the comfort of the pillows. His head felt groggy and his stomach churned, faint imprints of light dancing under his tightly closed eyelids. A dull ache pounded through his heavy body, making him feel slightly sick, and his face stung a little, the pain bringing back dim memories from when he had fallen over. He was sure it would be harshly bruised. From the bathroom he could hear the faint pitter patter of the shower running. He could use a shower himself, but he didn't feel like joining Koujaku. After all, Aoba was sure that he'd over stepped the line from boyfriend to ex boyfriend with what had happened last night and he didn't even know why Koujaku still bothered to put up with him. Just as the thought crossed his mind, he heard the door slide open, and the sound of foot steps padding softly against the floor. Sighing, he looked up to see the familiar face of the man he loved, and felt a deep pang of guilt jolt through his body almost painfully.

"I didn't realise you were awake." Koujaku said thoughtfully. Aoba expected him to be angry. But he didn't sound angry. He didn't even look angry. He just stood there with his usual gentle expression, smiling kindly, his long dark hair plastered to his face with water. His full upper body was exposed, and with only a short towel wrapped around his waist, the lower half of his strong legs were on display too. Normally seeing koujaku like this, bare chested and muscular, damp with water, and the dark tattoos that spread across his shoulder and arm in swirls of ink, was enough to make Aoba feel a little excitement. Now he just felt uneasy, and he swallowed nothing but air, his throat feeling dry. He couldn't even look Koujaku in the eye without his stomach clenching.

"I'm sorry." Was all he managed to say, his voice weak and pathetic even to his own ears. Koujaku glanced at him, and something dark seemed to flash beneath his red gaze, a tell tale sign of the anger that he was trying so hard to hide. Then he closed his eyes tightly and sighed, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"It's fine." Was all he said, the spark of rage completely gone as though it had been Aoba's imagination in the first place. Then Koujaku crawled into bed next to him, and he moved over to allow his boyfriend space, switching into a sitting position and leaning back against the soft pillows. When Koujaku settled, Aoba glanced at him sideways, catching a glimpse of his long soaking dark hair before looking away again. He felt as though he didn't have the right to look at him, and shifted nervously as guilt twisted inside him. He'd done something awful, there was no excuse. It didn't feel right that Koujaku forgave him so easily. Before he could stop himself words were tumbling from his mouth.

"Its not fine." He said as Koujaku shifted closer to him on the bed. He could feel tears sting his eyes but he continued talking. "I have a problem. I know I do. But what happened last night was unforgivable. So please, don't smile and say its all okay. Because it isn't." He turned toward Koujaku, watching through the blur of tears as he awaited some response, his throat feeling tight and his heart hammering in his chest.

"I'm at my wits end, Aoba." Koujaku finally said after a long silence, a pained expression crossing his face. "I worry about you all the time. I know losing Tae was hard for you. I know you're not coping well. But I don't sleep when you're not next to me at night, I can't eat because I feel so unwell all the time. This needs to stop. The alcohol, the drugs, disappearing all night, coming here out of your mind and trashing things. It won't help you." He locked gazes with Aoba, who was unable to look away. Koujaku's words seemed to pierce right into his heart, every syllable like the stab of a blade. "I'm worried sick. We all are. I love you. I really love you. But I can't take anymore. If it doesn't stop it's over. I mean it. I forgive you for last night. I know it wasn't your fault. But please, no more. Don't do it again."

Aoba closed his eyes, releasing the breathe he hadn't even realised he was holding. The raw pain in Koujaku's voice, and the way his face dropped into sadness, his eyes holding a pleading gaze, was enough to push Aoba into despair and guilt. He felt the warmth of tears flow down his cheeks. "I will stop." He said, his voice trembling. "But what happened last night was my fault. I was the one who...started it. So be angry at me, yell at me, tell me I'm-" His voice cracked. He took a deep rattling breathe, trying to rearrange his jumbled thoughts into better words. "...just don't act like I've done nothing wrong."

"You've done plenty wrong, but I don't blame you. I've done worse. " Koujaku said softly, leaning closer to Aoba. The older man pressed his lips against Aoba's unscathed cheek, the soft touch sending shivers down his spine. It was so warm and familiar. He moved a thumb across the top of Aoba's cheekbone, gently wiping at the tears. "I haven't been here for you lately." He spoke into Aoba's ear, his voice strained "I feel like some of this is my fault. I don't know whether to give you space or be there for you. It seems no matter what I do I upset you. I haven't handled it well either. How can I expect you to do any better?"

Aoba's eyes widened. "No!" He said, pulling away. "Don't take the blame for my behaviour. Its my fault. I need to take responsibility. I made a mistake. Not you."

"Alright. Just don't ever do it again." Koujaku said, coming closer again, his hot breathe fanning across the side of his face. Aoba knew he was angry, he could hear the threatening tone, hidden under the softness of his voice like a blade concealed beneath a fine robe.

"I won't. I promise." He replied, unable to keep the nervousness in his gut from creeping into his voice.

"Good." Koujaku said, seemingly pleased with Aoba's answer. "I don't want any more harm to come to that cute face of yours." His tone was lighter now, and some of the heaviness in Aoba's heart lifted. He absent mindedly reached up to his aching cheek, gently prodding at the sore skin with his fingers. It felt a little swollen and rough under his touch, the applied pressure of his fingers making the pain flare up, but he had no idea just how bad it was.

Koujaku gently grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away. "Don't touch it." He said with a concerned smile. "It's just a little scrape. You'll be fine."

Then his smile faded and his gaze hardened.

"That boy, did he do it?"

Aoba shook his head. "I fell." He said quietly. Koujaku's grip on Aoba's thin wrist tightened.

"Where did that bastard touch you?" He asked suddenly. Aoba felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He couldn't answer such a question. He'd die of shame.

"You can tell me." Koujaku urged, trying to get some answer out of his boyfriend.

Aoba's jaw worked, and he averted his gaze from Koujaku, his reply getting stuck in his throat.

"We just kissed." He said finally, the lie coming out as barely a whisper. Shame painted his pale cheeks red, and he was unable to meet Koujaku's eyes with his own. Aoba could vaguely remember the feeling of Noiz's hot hands against his skin as they slid up his shirt, gliding across his chest. But the memory was hazy because of the drug and drink that had been in his system at the time. Still, they hadn't gone further than that, but it was definitely more than just a kiss.

"Aoba." Koujaku warned. "I know there was more. I know what I saw."

"...he put his hands up my shirt too..." Aoba said quietly, his face burning up.

Koujaku raised an eyebrow.

"That's it?" He asked.

Aoba nodded. "Nothing else happened."

"I can't get the image out of my head, you know." Koujaku replied, furrowing his brows.

Aoba shot him a questioning look before realising what he meant.

"That little brat with his hands all over you." Koujaku answered through gritted teeth. Then he shifted toward Aoba and leaned over, kissing his neck. The soft touch of his lips made Aoba's heart flutter. They hadn't been intimate in a while, with everything going on. Before he could do anything else, Koujaku suddenly crawled on top of him, straddling his hips and pinning him to the bed. Cold drops of water fell from his hair, needling into his skin. Koujaku began kissing him strenuously, his lips pressed against Aoba's with bruising persistence, as though he could erase Noiz's touch with strength alone. Aoba didn't like the way he was being kissed. It was too harsh, too clawing and desperate, and he could feel Koujaku's carefully concealed rage pour into his lips, not his usual warmth and love. He was too shocked to react, and when Koujaku finally pulled away, a look Aoba didn't like crossed his features briefly, a dark possessiveness flashing in his crimson eyes. "Koujaku...? Aoba said quietly, a little stunned. This wasn't like him at all. Had seeing Aoba with Noiz really riled him up so much? Of course it had. He'd cheated on his boyfriend. The thought made him feel sick with self disgust.

"Sorry about that." Koujaku said with a small grin, looking down at him sheepishly. "But what you said earlier, about taking responsibility. I'll make sure you do." He said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

After he spoke, Koujaku let his gaze travel over Aoba's face, analysing every detail through the dark wet hair falling over his eyes, dripping onto his blue haired boyfriend beneath him. The way Aoba looked at him, his brown eyes wide, his mouth slightly open in shock, made him feel a little guilty. But such an expression on his beautiful face was also very charming in its own way. He'd felt something strange twisting in his gut, and a feeling of frustration and worry pent up inside him. But after kissing Aoba, it faded, like a flame flickering out. Some of the tension left him, and he felt himself relax.

"W- what? Right now?" Aoba stammered in response to his statement. Aoba was so adorable when he was flustered, and watching his face go deep crimson made Koujaku feel a wanting burn inside him. He replied by leaning down once more and pressing his lips against Aoba's, softer this time. His boyfriend's mouth was more welcoming now, and it wasn't long before the kiss deepened, Koujaku slipping his tongue in, skilfully exploring every inch of Aoba, who gave a soft breathy moan in return, his previous protests seemingly forgotten. Every little breath Aoba took, every little gasp, every little moan that escaped his lips, they all belonged to Koujaku. No one else was allowed to see this side of his boyfriend that he loved so much. It was reserved only for him. He'd memorised every inch of Aoba's body, engraving every curve and dip of his frame, from the shape of his thin legs to his flat stomach and lean chest, into his memory. He knew exactly what Aoba wanted and needed, exactly what he liked and didn't like. No one could ever take that away from him.

With a soft sigh, he withdrew again, leaving Aoba a panting mess. The way his lover unraveled underneath him was beautiful. His pale cheeks flushed rose pink, contrasting with his deep sky blue hair. The embarrassed look on his face as he averted his gaze from Koujaku's, looking anywhere but into his eyes, trying to conceal the lust in his own. It took so little to get Aoba aroused, and they both knew it. Koujaku loved that about him. Aoba thought it was shameful and embarrassing.

"I love you Aoba" he said, a warm feeling swelling in his chest.

"I love you too, Koujaku." The feeling intensified tenfold when Aoba replied, the heat spreading through his body like thousands of tiny candle flames. It was his turn to blush now. He looked away for a moment and then leaned in to steal a quick kiss from Aoba's lips, already puckered in anticipation. Then he ran his lips along his jawline, accidentally catching a loose strand of that blue hair. Aoba gasped, shifting beneath him.

"Sorry." Koujaku muttered.

"Its fine." Aoba said, leaning back into the pillow as Koujaku's trailed his lips down his neck, a hand sliding up his shirt to caress the hot skin beneath. "Hmmm" he heard Aoba sigh, his muscles tensing under his teasing touch.

The image of Aoba pressed against the alley wall by that smug little brat, caught in the wide circle of bright torchlight flashed in his mind. He froze.

"Koujaku?" Aoba said, but his voice was drowned out by the memory.

He told me to fuck him.

The words echoed through his head like an annoying ringing bell. He could still see that sneer on his face, taunting him. But it didn't matter. Under normal circumstances, he would have never forgiven Aoba for that. But he was drunk, probably on other substances too at the time, grieving over the death of his grandmother. The guy had obviously taken advantage. Aoba didn't love anyone else but him after all.

He shook his head. "Its nothing." He reassured his boyfriend, kissing him more desperately now, his lips trailing down his collar bone with little nips and tugs at his pale skin. The way Aoba reacted under his touch, tensing slightly and letting out small gasps, was no different than usual. The way his skin felt and tasted against his mouth, soft and slightly salty, was no different either. Nothing had changed. But tight knot of worry grew in his gut, and he felt slightly annoyed, the feeling stirring in his blood. Seeing Aoba with someone else, that jumped up little brat, had really got to him it seemed. No one was allowed to touch Aoba that way. He had to make Aoba his again. Quickly he slid his hands up, resting them on Aoba's upper chest, his thumbs circling his nipples. Aoba let loose a small moan, trying hard to keep his voice down. Koujaku responded by pulling his boyfriends shirt up, quickly manoeuvring it over his head.

Aoba complied and before he'd even shrugged the garment off, Koujaku's tongue was tracing around one of his erect nipples, at first teasing and licking the nub, pushing it around with wet flicks, before placing his mouth over the area around it and sucking, licking and tugging with his lips and tongue. Aoba's adorable little squeak of pleasure, just barely contained, was enough to make Koujaku feel heat pouring into his stomach and groin. "Koujaku...! Aoba exclaimed hoarsely, when he began going lower, leaving a trail of kisses down his pale stomach, stopping only to unbuckle Aoba's belt and remove his pants and underwear. Aoba was completely naked now, and Koujaku couldn't help but stop for a few seconds and admire the sight. He'd seen it a hundred times before, but it never became any less beautifully breathtakingly sexy. The way his chest was rising and falling rapidly, still glistening with saliva, the way his hair was long and messy and dishevelled, falling over his shoulders like a flurry of blue water, the way his eyes glistened like brown quartz, blazed over with passion and his cheeks were so red that it looked like his face would soon start burning. It was all so perfect. Placing himself between Aoba's legs, he reached down, gripping his boyfriend's stiff cock in his hand. He managed to tear a loud moan from Aoba's perfect lips when he began gently stroking. With every movement of his skilled hands, Koujaku heard Aoba gasp sharply, a whimper sometimes escaping from his mouth. He wanted to hear more of that voice, more of those gentle moans and pleasured screams and soft gasps that Aoba let out just for him and him alone. While pumping up and down the shaft with a bit more force, he traced his fingers around Aoba's asshole with his other hand, enjoying the way his body shuddered under the touch. "K-koujaku" Aoba suddenly said, trembling voice spilling from his lips. "You can't."

Koujaku stopped, raising an eyebrow. Worry tightened in his gut. Why did Aoba want him to stop? Why was he hesitating? Did he really not want him anymore?

"What?" He asked, as though he'd heard it wrong.

Aoba looked at him and bit his lip before dropping his gaze abruptly. "I...I need a shower or something." The words tumbled from his mouth.

Koujaku let out a soft chuckle of relief. That's the only reason Aoba was hesitating. "Now you tell me? I don't care anyway." He couldn't help but smile as he spoke. He went back to jacking off Aoba, his grip getting tighter, his movements speeding up again. Precum began dripping from his tip, and Aoba was now letting out small moans with every stroke up and down his shaft. Koujaku could feel the want building in his own area, with the sight of Aoba's face twisted in pleasure and the feeling of his hot dick between his fingers. As if Aoba knew what he was thinking, he tried to push himself up. "L-let me do something." He said between pants, reaching forward toward Koujaku's waist. Koujaku normally wouldn't have protested, but today he didn't want Aoba to do anything. He pressed his hand against his boyfriend's chest, firmly pushing him back down against the mattress. "No." He said sternly. Aoba tried to resist, but with one hard look from Koujaku, he gave up all resistance and ended up propped up on his elbows, his head leaning back as his hips raised into Koujaku's touch. Koujaku ran his thumb over the head rubbing gently at the soaking slit. He saw Aoba's legs tremble, his hand shooting up to cover his mouth. Koujaku reached over with his free hand toward the bedside table, searching blindly around the surface for the tube of lubricant they usually kept there. When he finally grabbed it, he stopped pleasuring Aoba for only a second to coat a generous amount on his fingers, then he quickly cast the tube aside and began stroking Aoba again whilst smearing it around Aoba's entrance. Aoba opened his legs wider, letting out a strangled cry when Koujaku began inserting his middle finger. As usual it was so warm and tight inside, and Aoba seemed to suck his finger in, the ring of flesh contracting around it. He longed to use his dick in place of it, but if he didn't prepare Aoba properly it would be a lot more painful. He dipped another in carefully and began slowly stretching him out with ease.

Aoba found himself letting out shuddering moans with every pump of Koujaku's fingers inside his ass, and every stroke on his erect dick. The pleasure pooled in his hips and built in his stomach like fire, shooting straight to his groin. A sweet numbness spread through his legs, and he trembled, not sure how much longer he could hold on. While he didn't like sitting back doing nothing, Koujaku was being controlling today and wouldn't let him do anything. Distantly he worried about the uncharacteristic behaviour, but he couldn't deny the pleasure was especially intense and before long he gave in, letting himself get drowned in the amazing feeling of bliss. He bit his lip hard to try and stop himself from moaning. He knew it was nothing to be ashamed of anymore, Koujaku had seen this side of him uncountable times, but every time he heard the sound of his own voice echo through the room like that, he couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed. With his eyes closed tightly, he couldn't see Koujaku, and was surprised when he pulled his fingers out abruptly, and then grabbed his hips, pulling them up to align his dick with his entrance. A familiar warmth suddenly filled him, accompanied by tight pressure and a little pain. Rather than entering slowly, Koujaku pushed in with desperation, letting out a long shuddering sigh. Aoba's eyes shot open, going wide. "Koujaku!?" he gasped. The look on Koujaku's face made Aoba feel a strange stir of shock and desire. His boyfriend was leaning over him, looking down with possessive and lust glazed eyes. His face was sweaty and flushed, and he was biting his lip. "Sorry, its been a while." He muttered, taking a deep breathe. Then he bent down to kiss Aoba, a deep lingering kiss that left them both gasping when he pulled away. It had been a while. Too long. He felt a swelling desire grow within him, a crackling heat inside him.

"Just fuck me." Aoba replied shamelessly, heat rushing to his face. With a stiff nod and a deep flush, Koujaku began slowly thrusting into him, his cock embedded inside and prying him open. It hurt a bit more than usual, since they hadn't had sex in a while, but soon the pain ebbed away and was replaced with only a growing pleasure. With every movement, his hardened dick hit against the tense muscle of Koujaku's stomach, the added stimulation creating even more pleasure, and Koujaku began speeding up, egged on by Aoba's unrestrained moans. Soon he was pounding into him, scraping against his wet inner walls, the bed creaking so loudly beneath them he was sure the sound would drown out all of the sweet noises escaping their lips. Aoba's legs were open wide giving Koujaku better access, his feet dangling helplessly in the air. Every thrust seemed to go so deep inside him, the sensation running through his nerves getting sweeter and sweeter as he trembled and cried out with pleasure, his fingers gripping into the bed sheets beneath them. He tried to move too, to rock his hips in rhythm against Koujaku, but he grabbed Aoba's hips, digging his fingers painfully into the soft skin and holding him still. Every harsh thrust seemed to hit that one spot inside him that made his chest constrict and his body shudder and set his nerves on fire with electric shocks. Every time that dick plunged inside him, he almost screamed with pleasure, the noises tearing from his raw throat before he could stop them. Sweat poured from every pore in his body and his vision began to swim, his consciousness fading as he drowned in the intense bliss. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, it was only matter of seconds before he'd be pushed over. He could hear Koujaku's heavy pants and soft groans above him. He looked up to catch a brief glimpse of Koujaku's face. His eyes were closed tightly and his face was scrunched up, lost on the throes of pleasure. His hair fell over his shoulders, still damp, swaying around him as he moved. "K-koujaku!" Aoba cried after the next deep, plunging thrust. "I'm going to-aaaahh"

Koujaku quickly rested one of his hands over Aoba's, and somehow he managed to interlace their fingers before he came, his semen shooting out all over Koujaku's stomach in a pearly string, his toes curling almost painfully. Koujaku squeezed his hand tightly, his long drawn out groan filling the room, and a moment later Aoba felt a warmth spreading inside him. He took deep breathes in an attempt to recover as Koujaku pulled out and rolled off of him. They lay in bed shoulder to shoulder, chests rising and falling rapidly, breathing chaotically, hot and sweaty and basking in the afterglow. Koujaku was the first to move, after what seemed like a blissful eternity of hearing nothing but his lover's soft panting breathes, he reached over and took Aoba's hand,interlacing their fingers and holding them tightly. In turn, Aoba rested his head in the crook of Koujaku's neck. Koujaku kissed the top of his blue hair.

"I love you." He said with a soft sigh.

"I love you too." Aoba replied tiredly.

"Aren't you hungry, Aoba?" Koujaku suddenly asked. The question reminded Aoba that he hasn't eaten since noon yesterday. He didn't even know what time it was now. The curtains were closed, only dull grey light trickling through and he had been to distracted to check the digital clock on the bedside table.

"Now that you mention it, yes. What time is it?"

"It was about seven when I went for a shower. Who knows what time it is now."

"Seven?" Aoba repeated. "Like, in the morning?"

Koujaku let out a small laugh. "You really are insane if you think you're capable of getting up that early. It's the evening, sweetie."

"I really slept for that long?" He asked, shocked.

"Yeah. Now let's clean up and order take out. I can't be bothered cooking tonight."

Sounds like a plan." Aoba replied lazily, looking up at Koujaku through half lidded eyes.