Chapter Two
Closing Your Eyes Won't Help
The sun awakens.
I came home and immediately went to bed, not stopping to chirp "I'm home!" like I normally do. But now it was morning, the dawn of another school day.
"Miku?" A knock came twice on my half-open door to see if I was awake already. He always remembers the first time he intruded when I was awake. I was not happy, let's just leave it at that. He entered the room when I didn't answer. I was in my bed, still fully clothed from yesterday. My blankets were everywhere, but I was just thankful my head was on the pillow this time (last time it was on the floor, because I was lying on my bed horizontally and I didn't fit).
"Miku, time to get up," He approached my bed. "Rise and shine, beautiful!" He started to get a little louder as he grabbed my shoulder and shook me a bit. I rolled over, my back to him.
"Five more minutes, Mikuo," I growled, groggy from sleep.
"I have to get to work," he added, pulling the blankets off of me. I curled into fetal position, trying to stay warm in the cold. "Besides, don't you want to get to school? You don't want a crap-job like I have, do you?"
I grunted and sat up, rubbing my eyes, and he looked at me as if I reminded him of something. I got off of my bed and headed to the bathroom. "A good brother would let me sleep in," I shut the door behind me.
"Really?" he asked loud enough for me to hear as he fixed my bed. "Tell me more about this 'good brother' fellow." I laughed but stopped abruptly, letting him know it was a sarcastic laugh. "I made you breakfast." I smiled. I love it when he makes me breakfast. I hate eating cold cereal.
I came out of the bathroom and immediately went to the kitchen. He smiled and followed me, then sat next to me to eat the pancakes and apple juice he had set out for us to enjoy. We didn't talk much, which was the usual thing for us.
After we finished, I went and got dressed. He prepared my shoes and book-bag. I ran down the hall, grabbed my bag, and ran out the door without saying goodbye. For some reason I felt Mikuo in pain, but that was weird, so I just kept going. I hopped into Luka's car, because she was waiting for me as usual.
The bell rings.
"Better get to class," I said, turning away from the group.
"You have Kaito first period, yeah?" Luka questioned with her arms folded.
"Y-yeah, why do you ask?" I paused and stood, my legs wobbling. Kaito, Kaito. That name, Kaito.
"See you at lunch!" I heard Luka run off. I went to class, too. All I could think about was how she mentioned Kaito twice in the past two days, and how weird he's been since then.
Once again, what I thought was impossible happened. The seat next to Kaito was the only one empty. I was beginning to think that someone was doing this purposely, but I dismissed the idea as absurd. Why would anyone want to be so close to Hatsune Miku: straight A, flat-chested, Miku? No one in the right mind. And why Kaito? He was the one who's always avoided me. And suddenly it changes, and he couldn't resist me yesterday…
I swallowed hard and held my breath as I approached the seat. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, and he was watching me intimately. A shiver went up and down my spine as I sat. I felt bare, naked, even though I was fully clothed. The room was empty, even though everyone around us was talking. I could still feel his touch from yesterday.
"Miku?" A familiar voice chimed, breaking the aura I was creating. I turned and met shining teal eyes, blonde bangs covering most of them.
"H-hi, Len," I managed to say, trying to feel normal. I couldn't. I still felt Kaito.
"Can I see you, please?" He asked. I couldn't concentrate on him. His facial features were blurry. I couldn't believe I was feeling this way. Kaito only hugged me… I was only on his lap… it was only innocent friendship developing, right?
"Y-you can see me just fine, can't you?" I asked, being sarcastic and trying to be normal. Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm and I was pulled up from my seat, and was being led to the corner of the room. Then we stopped, and both hands were on my shoulders.
"What's with you?" He asked, completely concerned for me. Kaito, Kaito. He's watching us. He's watching me. He's staring. Kaito is staring. I can feel him. I was physically shaking, and Len could feel it. I don't know what's with me, Len. I don't know. Help me, please someone…
"L-Len," was all I managed to say before the bell rang for class to start. I broke away from him and headed back to my seat.
Why am I feeling this way?
The teacher was a friend of Kaito's and mine. His name was Hiyama Kiyoteru. Kiyoteru was a singer, a Vocaloid like the rest. He was young, and his life as a star was secret from the students. He pushed up his glasses and brushed back his brunette hair, then began the lesson. I could do everything except pay attention. I felt awful, since normally this class was my favorite. Kiyoteru always gave me secret extra credit.
"Alright, class, I'm giving you the last ten minutes to do what you want. But BE QUIET!" Kiyoteru warned us. He put a finger to his lips, basically saying "shhh," then he winked at me and turned around. What is with Luka and Kiyo…?
My thoughts disappeared as water does when a drain is open. I just realized a similar thing was happening, just as yesterday. I felt as if it was just Kaito and I once again. I turned slowly, and once again he was facing me. He was leaning on his hand, studying me.
My jaw started shaking as I struggled to say something, but just looking at him would bring me to my knees if I was standing up. I wanted to fall in love with him, and I wanted him to fall in love with me. All those years of ignoring me… now that he was finally giving me attention my mind and body could hardly handle it. I couldn't think and I was shaking.
Suddenly my concentration on just Kaito broke. I felt Len. I looked around the room, and found him looking this direction. But I don't think he was looking at me. He was glaring at Kaito. Why was Len angry at Kaito? His head was on his hand like Kaito's was. I don't think Kaito knew Len was staring at him. Kaito looked too busy making me feel uncomfortably in love with him.
Suddenly I stood up and walked over to Kiyoteru, who was writing on the board.
"Miku?" He turned around, looking at me, a bit shocked.
"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked quickly. I felt that I needed to get away from here. My hands gripped my stomach greedily, and my face was red. I wanted to run away. Kaito was killing me inside, making my heart want to explode. I don't know what happened to me when I saw Len. His eyes were furious, yet gentle. Seeing him made me want to cry and run to him. He would understand. I've always explained my pain when it comes to Kaito, and Len's always listened. I needed him, but there was no way to do it during class.
"Um, yeah," and before he could really finish saying it, I was grabbing my things and leaving. I walked quickly, almost running, to the nearest girl's bathroom. I hurried inside and stepped into a stall. I felt trapped, even though I could leave whenever I wanted. The pure white surrounding me seemed to bright and I felt like I was in a dream. My fists punched the stall sides in frustration. Mikuo, Mikuo. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed my brother's number. It rang several times before he picked up.
"Hello?" His voice was sweet candy to my ears.
"Mikuo," I struggled to say, "come pick me up."
"What? Why? What's wrong? What happened?" I could feel his concern through the phone.
"Nothing, I just really want to go home," I answered, choking back tears.
"Are you sick? Is someone bullying you?" The questions kept coming.
"Mikuo, please."
"Alright."
He hung up. Suddenly I felt guilty because I knew I was pulling him away from work. He's probably happy to leave, anyway. He hates that place.
I opened the door to the stall, and walked forward while staring at my feet. I left the bathroom and bumped into someone.
"Miku, what happened?" I looked up quickly and it was Len.
"Len, I-" and before I could finish, he pulled me into a hug.
"I won't let Kaito hurt you," he stated. What? Kaito? Hurt me? What's going on?
I tried to push away from him. "What are you talking about?"
He released me and sighed. "I swore not to tell you."
"Tell me!"
"Miku, everyone's trying to get you and Kaito together."
What? He wasn't doing that on his own will? He was being forced by his friends? I looked down and stepped back in shock. "W… why?"
"Kaito likes you, Miku," he swallowed hard, and he lowered his eyebrows. His eyes swore hatred, and his lips trembled with anger. "They're all working together, devising plans to make you fall for him. They plan things for him to do, but he always has to be an idiot and go too far because he 'can't help it'. They set up the empty chairs, and a lot of the things he says. But when he grabbed you yesterday…"
"You saw that?" I interrupted.
"Yeah."
I became silent. "I already like him," I said after awhile.
"I know, they're trying to set the mood for him to…" he bit his lower lip and looked down. Len had never looked so upset before. Did he get taller? "…to ask you out."
His hair's so silky. I wonder what it feels like. I wish I could make his lips stop shaking. If I could just…
I lifted my hands to his face and put my right thumb on his bottom lip, while my other hand went into his hair. My left hand found its way to the back of his head, and suddenly I was pushing him towards me. I realized my lips were parted, and I had just lowered my right thumb so I could kiss him. His eyes were closing. He was going to let me. My eyes widened to stop them from closing, and I stepped away from him. Huh… he is taller…
"I-I'm so sorry!" I whispered before bursting away down the hall.
"M-Miku! Wait!" I heard him call after me. I was not going to stop. I don't know what's gotten into me. Since when has Kaito liked me? Is ignoring the girl you like a thing now, or what? And why's everyone pitching in, except for Len? Why is Len angry? Why is Len regretful? Why is Len suddenly becoming so cute to me?
I can't remember how, but I was in the front seat of Mikuo's car and he was driving me home. My mind was foggy and all I could think of was Kaito and Len.
"Miku, someone's here to see you," his voice. My brother's voice. I wanted to throw my arms around him and hug him, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Len. I was in my room. How did I get here from my brother's car? How long have I been sleeping?
"Miku, what happened to you?" He asked, sitting at the foot of my baby blue bed. My bed was big enough for a king and queen's bed. Len, Len. I want Len.
I got up on my knees and threw my arms around Len's neck. He fell backwards, and my chest was against his as we lay there. I hugged him tightly and began to cry.
"Miku? Miku?" He kept saying my name. Hearing his voice call my name felt like a medicine for my weird feelings. I want you to scream my name, Len.
His arms wrapped around me, and he didn't make a sound. He let the room become silent with my crying. I felt as though I was crying into Len for hours. I wanted this to last forever, except I wanted the sadness to go away. "You're so cute," I thought I heard him whisper.
Kaito was someone who could do anything with every girl if he wanted. All the girls at the school talk about him. Gossiping, sharing stories that probably aren't true. Len has been alone for as long as I can remember. He lives with his "sister" Rin, but he's never had romantic interaction. When he first started school, girls were all over him, but he made it obvious he wasn't interested.
"You're the only one I can see," I suddenly remembered him saying. He said that years ago. What did he mean by it? It's nothing important, I'm sure. I started to daydream about the past, and then about my possible future with Kaito.
"Who do you love, Miku?" Len's sweet voice asked, suddenly. I stopped sobbing and sniffed a few times, breaking away from my dreams. I forgot I was in Len's arms. I lifted my head to look at him. He didn't move and continued to stare at my ceiling.
"Len, I-"
"Miku, who do you love?"
I was silent. Who did I love? "I don't know."
"That's what I thought." He sat up and started to leave the room. I couldn't control myself anymore. I was losing it. All of these mixed feelings were driving me insane. I reached my hand out and grabbed his sleeve. He stopped. Len, Len.
"Miku, don't do this. If you do this, you'll confuse yourself more. Come to school tomorrow. Talk to Kaito. Fall in love with him. After all, that's all you've ever wanted. At least, that's what you've been telling me all these years." He pulled away from me and left.
Kaito. Do I love Kaito? Len… Len's just my friend, isn't he?
The sun falls, and the moon rises.
