Straw Saga 2

Demon Rabbit Attack

Sasuke had texted Hinata, around 8pm when Naruto was finally dragging him out to the club.

She hadn't replied.

It was bothering him.

Naruto had slapped a 'My Name Is' tag on his chest the said 'Not Sasuke' and somewhere after the fifth shot had asked one of the bartenders for a marker and had rewritten 'Asshole' on it.

Sasuke was just mildly surprised that it didn't say 'bastard'. Naruto was more surprised that Sasuke allowed it, though he had ulterior motives, drinking Naruto's shot while only half-heartedly chiding him to be careful of his shirt.

It was 10pm when Naruto's other friends showed up. Six or seven shots in and he was sitting outside smoking with Shikamaru Nara, who worked with Naruto and went to college around the same time as them and his friend Choji.

It must've been after the sixth or seventh shot, but it took him until the second cigarette for him to realize something. Shikamaru and Choji almost always equaled Ino.

And Ino meant...

"Hi, Not Sasuke."

Shikamaru smirked.

Sasuke could feel all his back muscles tense. His jaw clamped down and his neck felt like he had never heard the word chiropractor.

No. Not today Satan.

"Need another drink." Sasuke huffed, throwing his cigarette onto the sidewalk.

Sasuke wasn't one to stumble around drunk. Or slur his words. But he was definitely drunk.

Drunk Sasuke and Anytime Of the Day or Night Sakura Haruno did not mix.

Anymore.

She was dressed as a bunny. If a bunny was a trashy skank who took pride in disappointing her father. Even nearly naked, her scrawny body had nothing on Kitten in a turtleneck.

Why had that women not replied? Had he waited too long in texting her? Had he done it too soon? He had been to forward in asking her out, hadn't he?

He rubbed his hand down his face, wondering again why he had cared so much about her. Hinata. He rolled the name around in his head, letting it slosh about with his tumultuous thoughts. It really couldn't be because he was rude to her and felt guilty. He was rude to everyone.

So what was it?

"What's wrong? Girl trouble?" Sakura tilted her head to the side.

"Yes." Sasuke breathed out the cold, autumn air.

"But I just got here."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and finally headed inside. She was as conceited as usual. He had no patience for it sober, and now he couldn't even have the decency to acknowledge it.

He found Naruto at the bar with Choji and Ino.

"Shot?" Naruto already had one held out to him.

All Sasuke could do was nod.

And that's how Sasuke woke up on his bedroom floor.

He sat up, head swimming for a moment and laid back down, finally appreciating how cold the hard wood was. Sasuke laid there for a long time. His body, naked, he absently noted, was finding too much cooling comfort to mind how it actually hurt his hips, elbows, shoulders, knees and back to be laying down there for so long.

He groaned, willing himself to sit up. He was getting too old for these shenanigans.

He didn't really remember much after Naruto force feeding him shots like a nursing mother.

Army crawling over to his bedside table, he reached up and found his phone, breathing a sigh of relief. It was plugged in even. Though the charge only said 56%, making Sasuke wonder how long ago he had got home.

Besides the pounding headache, his dry, swollen tongue, his cramped stomach, his sore arms and legs, he suddenly felt a tiny bit better. Because there was a text message, waiting in his inbox, from a saved contact labeled 'Kitten'.

Kitten: Sorry I got so drunk last night. 9:13am.

She had used the monkey emoji, covering its eyes in embarrassment. How cute was this chick?

Kitten: What time works for you? 9:13am.

Sasuke smiled, resting his head back down on the ground. At least Hinata had texted him. She didn't blow him off. What person gets so drunk they can't text back before 8pm? And is up and texting the next morning at 9am.

Sasuke glance at the time, and almost shit a brick.

1:43pm.

He had slept till almost 2pm?

Sasuke sat bolt up, ignoring the swimming feeling he felt in his head and stomach. Quickly he tried to formulate a text that would make him sound cool, calm, collected, aloof.

He settled for sending. Whenever. Followed by his address. That would have to do.

He got on all fours, taking a deep breath, grabbing onto the edge of his bed and hauling himself up. Standing straight up at 6' even, stretching his shoulders, breathing through his nose and praying to the gods of Ciroc that he didn't throw up on his floor.

He froze, noticing a massive lump under his comforter.

If he didn't feel sick before, he definitely did now.

He shoved the lump, half hoping that it was just his blankets piled up funky.

The pile moaned.

Sasuke groaned. Why? What slobbering, attention seeking, disease cesspool had he brought back into his safe haven? What had he done to deserve this?

The pile rustled around a bit more and Sasuke stared in morbid curiosity, waiting to find out who it was. That was until the head actually did pop out of the blankets.

Crazy, short pink hair. Sleepy, blinking, green eyes.

Sasuke finally leaned over and threw up.

"Oh god, Sasuke!" Her voice grated on his ears. "Are you okay?"

No. He was not fucking okay.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke yelled, before heaving again.

He could hear the girl gasp above him. "You invited me!" She yelled.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

Sasuke's phone pinged.

Kitten: Be there in 20? :) 1:45pm.

He dry heaved. "Ugh, you need to leave."

"Are you kidding me?" Sakura yelled.

"No. Get out."

Sakura crawled off the bed, wrapping the grey comforter around her body.

"I was drunk! You took advantage of me! I should call the cops." She yelled.

The door to the bedroom burst open, Naruto standing in the Karate Kid Crane kick pose in green frog boxers, his Kevlar vest and Aviator sunglasses.

"I heard yelling." He slurred. He must've still been drunk.

"I think Sasuke raped me." Sakura pouted.

Sasuke sat back down on the ground, a foot away from his throw up and held his head in his hands.

He had twenty minutes to wash the cigarette smoke off himself, and the vodka-vomit off the floor while kicking out his psycho ex-girlfriend before he had to carve pumpkins with an adorable stranger.

Naruto laughed. "Sasuke was so fucking wasted, there's no way he could've raped you with that whiskey dick."

Sasuke ground the palms of his hands into his eyes.

"Well he could've still sexually assaulted me!" She screamed. "You're a fucking cop! You should know that!"

Naruto laughed again. "You wanna know what I know. I know that you're the one who invited yourself over and you're the one who drug Sasuke in here against his will."

Sasuke, grabbed onto the edge of the bed, trying to stand back up.

Sakura tossed some hair out of her face. "As if."

Naruto had finally relaxed his Crane stance. Through the hazy fog, Sasuke could note that it had been impressive, if not stupid and dorky that he could hold it for so long.

"Sakura, he was yelling 'Get off Rabbit Demon' all the way down the hallway." Naruto leaned onto the door frame.

"Knew it. I'm going to sue you." Sasuke groaned, almost falling into down into the bed.

"Yeah, and I tried to stopping you, you know, to protect my friends honor, and you hit me in the face." Naruto ripped his glasses off to see a red mark and faint bruise on his cheek bone.

Sakura huffed, dropping the blanket to reveal her naked body.

Neither men were phased.

"You are lethality horny right now, aren't you?" Naruto asked dryly.

"Fuck you guys!" She screamed, looking around for her clothes.

"Get out." Sasuke groaned.

He managed shaky legs over to the walk in closet and fished out a black, long sleeve v-neck and jeans.

"Is the living room clean?" Sasuke asked.

He didn't remember coming back, or who had come and what they had done.

"Should be fine."

Sasuke sighed. Naruto's cleanliness standards were dismal. There could've been sewer rats sleeping on the couches and the idiot wouldn't notice.

"What, do you have company coming over?" Sakura sneered.

"Yes." Sasuke snapped.

He almost fell over putting socks on but righted himself, striding out of the closet.

"Oh! That girl!" Naruto laughed. "When's she coming over bastard? You got some pumpkins to carve."

"Girl?" Sakura sounded scandalized.

"We are not together." Sasuke enunciated, reminding the girl to shut up.

"Carving pumpkins?" She continued talking, clearly ignoring his hint. "Halloween is over."

"Sakura."

She stopped putting her bunny costume on to look at him, expectant.

"Get the fuck out." He snapped.

Sasuke had finally got Sakura out of the house, Naruto trailing after to pick them both up some coffee. He had managed to clean up the puke off his floor and brush his teeth before he heard a knock at the door. Spraying some cologne on, and immediately regretting it because it smelled so strong and still wishing he could've taken a shower.

Thankfully the living room wasn't too bad, and they would be in the kitchen anyways.

Sasuke wrenched open the door to see her and was glad to see that she looked relatively similar to what he had remembered. She was short, had to be almost a full foot shorter then him.

She was wearing a beanie that was pressing her bangs down into her thick lashes. He could see her large, pale eyes, and a small nose that was cherry red from the cold, but the rest of her face was tucked under the thick lavender scarf he remembered from yesterday.

"Hi." Her voice was muffled under the scarf.

She was carrying two, large, reusable shopping bags, and they must've been heavy because she set them down on the ground almost immediately after stepping into the apartment. Sasuke could see two, medium sized pumpkins in them and wondered how far she had to lug them around town.

She took off her hat, trying to fluff life back into her bangs, and unraveled her scarf.

"So, got too drunk at 8pm?" Sasuke asked, smirking.

Hinata froze while taking off that ridiculously large winter coat, her eyes widening and her cheeks reddening in embarrassment.

"I don't drink very much." She tried to defend herself.

He smiled and lead her to the kitchen.

She was wearing leggings again, Sasuke thanked god. And a baggy Konoha University Crewneck sweatshirt and grey knit socks. She looked cozy.

She looked cute.

"My friend, Tenten, made me promise to text her every ten minutes or she's going to call the cops." Hinata laughed, sounding apologetic.

Sasuke nodded. "Reasonable."