Disclaimer: As before, Joss is boss, I am simply borrowing some of this things and having a bit of fun with them. Even so, I fear lawyers. Please do notsue me. That is, I repeat, a do NOT sue me... I think there was some confusion before...
I've seen her watch him. Kaylee, who is, bless her, prone to noticing that sort of thing more than I, noticed it first and mentioned it to me.
But, of course, that doesn't mean anything. River watches anything. She, sometime back, she spent a whole afternoon watching dust particles in the air. Watching is meaningless.
Yes, I know that the incident with the dust particles was before the whole Miranda troubles, but she still does that.
We argue more, River and I. She just doesn't understand. It's not that I think she's stupid or even that I'm trying to protect her from… things... but I am her doctor, too. I am the only Doctor aboard Serenity, and I know she is better than she used to be. How could I be the doctor that I am, and not be able to see that she has improved? She is better, but she's still mending. She even admits to having lapses. I've seen her, we all have. She doesn't even know when she's having them, even though she figures it out later. Well, I'm not sure if she figures it out for herself either, since Jayne, the ape with thumbs, is always keen to point out when she's had a bad moment.
But I took care of the watching.
That is the thing that River doesn't understand. Her mind isn't completely whole yet, so she can't understand. It may never be as it once was, as sad a thought as that is. Even right after Miranda, in the time when we were repairing Serenity, (yes, that was the worst for her, I could tell) I still found her all over the ship just… staring. Even, of all places and times, in my own bunk…
Well, that was embarrassing, to say the least. Not so much for me, as I know that she wasn't all there yet, and she was, well, innocent, but Kaylee was miffed for quite sometime afterwards.
Yet, even that wasn't as bad. I caught her, several times, watching Mal. I would find her in the oddest places, just watching him – probably probing his mind. I know she does that, but she can't help that. She's never been able to control that, but I just try not to think about it, too much.
I caught her watching Mal, and pulled her aside to have a talk with her. I don't think it was the talk she wanted me to give her, but it was something that just had to be done. It was inappropriate, I explained to her, to just watch the captain. It would make people think that she was attracted to him, and that just couldn't be.
No. He is the Captain. There are so many things that make that type of thing inappropriate. In the first place, he would never look at someone like River, especially with Inara around – Malcolm and Inara may be thick headed and too stubborn to admit they care for each other, but we, the crew, aren't stupid. We can plainly see it. River, of all people, should be able to tell. True, things have been tenser between them than usual, but that doesn't mean things have changed. River will only get her fragile heart broken.
And, in a worst-case scenario, if Mal were to even consider River, it could never be. Inara isn't technically apart of the crew; she's just along for the ride, so that's fine. But, especially now that River has taken on a few cautious activities and such, Captain and Crewmembers shouldn't have a relationship. That's the proper way. I know Captain Reynolds isn't the most traditional captain, he's actually far from it, but he does know of propriety. Even if he did have feelings for River, which we all know he doesn't, he would never act on them.
And then… well, Kaylee disagrees with me on this, but they wouldn't match well, even if Mal wasn't Captain of Serenity. Consider the facts. He's older than her. Too old for her, if you ask me. Then, well, who can say how many women he's, well, um, dated? None of us know. I, for one, don't want to know. River is really too young for that kind of thing. Really! I know she's 19, but she does suffer from her child-like moments still, and… no, that just can't happen.
And, on a personal level, for all of Mal's good points, he's…. he's… well, he's too simple for River. River, once her mind has healed completely, will be intellectually far above him. In bringing this up, River slipped into a moment and told me I was thinking too narrowly, and that it was no different that Kaylee and I. Kaylee may have been raised to be simple, but she's a genius of a mechanic and is anything but simple, now. It is a completely different situation. It really is. No matter what Kaylee says about it.
I'm not saying that Mal isn't a good Captain, because he is. But he's…
He's just not good enough for her.
Poor River, she just doesn't see it.
But, regardless, she hasn't stared at him since I spoke with her. Well, she does, but no more than she stares at me or anyone else on the crew. I think it was a phase she was going through, really. Next week, she'll probably be watching Jayne. It breaks my heart when I see her and think of all she went through.
Yes, she's an Albatross.But, no matter what, I remind myself; she's my sister.
She'll always be my little sister.
Little River.
A/N: I confess I didn't think I'd get the next chapter up so quickly... or that there would ever be a next chapter! I enjoy writing out these thoughts... perhaps there will be more points of view... but I think I'll be saving the best one(s) for last. Oh, and thanks to those who reviewed. What, over a hundred hits and only three review? All you LIARS out there, you aint foolin' no one! I leave reivews, I know it only takes a minute! (Aw, I'm just harrassing you all. I really do love ya.) We'll see how soon the next chapter comes out... there WILL be a next one. I swear.
