Harry was a hat! Wow. He wasn't hurting any more. And no one was looking at him like that and no one court hurt him or touch him or shout at him. Because he was a hat! And he was sure being a hat would just be absolutely wicked. No one would shout at him or make him make breakfast or hit him or sneak into his room and-

No. He didn't want to think about it. Now he was a hat and it was... wicked. Right? Because he was safe and Brian said he could talk to him whenever. He should test that shouldn't he?

Brian?

Oh no. Oh no. No one was talking back. What was he going to do? And there was a kid. A kid bigger than him. A brown haired brown eyed girl with a sour looking expression. As if she was unhappy. Harry didn't want her to be unhappy. And then he was being plopped onto her head and boy it was weird. There was this fish bowl and in the fish bowl were all these memories and he didn't know what to-

Hello? Hat?

She was... talking to him...

Hi. I'm Harry. You are?

She didn't seem impressed.

Just get this sorting over with, and you should know my name. Its in my head. My mother told me that you can read minds, she wouldn't lie to me.

So Harry gave it a go. He dipped into the girls memories and found some strange things. Her name was Cassandra Rosalie and she lived in a wizarding pure-blood house. She was very snobby and didn't appreciate people much. But she loved her mother dearly and was very loyal. Cassy (as he had decided to call her) was very smart. Very smart. It was like all she did was read.

What were the houses? Griffindor. Slytherin. Ravenclaw. Hufflepuff. And of course Floppy Rabbit. And in the school song Brian had basically explained them... Well this girl seemed very bookish so...

I think you would do well in Ravenclaw.

That was not the thing she had wanted to hear.

WHAT! That is a disgrace. I belong in Slytherin like my mother and her mother and her mother. Listen here you smelly old hat I can't believe-

Well that was just rude!

So Harry shouted,

"RAVENCLAW!"

When Harry was pulled off of the girls head she looked about ready to throw a tantrum. Gosh. What a spoiled brat. Reminded him of Dudley.

Nervously Harry caught the eye of Brian who... looked like him. It was quite unsettling. Did he really look that... injured? But he had covered it up so well! Spent all morning doing up his robes a certain way. He called out telepathically again,

Brian?

Still nothing.

What happened to being able to talk to him whenever? Was it all lies? Harry had been lied to so much it seemed-

Another kid.

Quite a large head.

Is anybody out there?

Woooo I'm a ghooooooost...

I've already seen ghosts, you aren't very funny.

Harry pouted. And quickly shuffled through the boys mind. Terry Thatchet. Muggleborn. Very mean. Always plotting and thinking ways to steal stuff from his younger brother. Harry ought to throw him out of the school for being such a bully. Always hurting others. He would have to give him a talking to.

Surprisingly Harry felt bucket loads more confident as a hat.

You aren't very nice, are you?

Terry sneered,

What's it to ya? Huh? You're just a measly hat!

Well. You need to be nicer to others. It is no good being a bully. People deserve to be treated nicely and as equals. If you don't start being nice I will have you expelled.

That seemed to stump him.

Well... uh... You can't even do that. You're lying. You're just a hat.

I was created by the Founders themselves-

Brian had said that hadn't he?

And I... secretly control the castle. You are too mean for your own good. I have a mind to expel you straight away for your past crimes.

Terry didn't take this too well.

Oh please don't. My family didn't want me to come anyway and they'll be really annoyed. I don't want to disappoint my dad. He's a really prestigious business owner and he's always bullying people to get his way. I just... wanted to be like him. Please don't expel me!

Harry was starting to feel really bad about threatening the boy.

Well... Okay. Just try to be nicer to others Terry, unless they really don't deserve it. Bullying is bad.

I'll try, hat, its just hard sometimes.

"SLYTHERIN!"

The next person to be sorted was a short black boy with a neutral expression. Harry had thought it would have been the liar he met on the train. The Weasley boy. Because this was alphabetical. But apparently he had already been sorted for some reason.

As the he was placed on the boy's head Harry couldn't help but get a strange feeling through him.

He rifled through his mind and what he found was extraordinary. Blaise was just like him. He was all the houses. He was kind and cunning and loyal and brave and wise and the whole package. He was loyal to his friends but cut throat to his enemies. He stuck to his values but was still open minded about most things.

Harry just gasped.

Blaise Zabini was an outlaw.

Well. Are you going to sort me?

Harry coughed, trying to make his voice sound more impressionable.

There is a bit of a problem...

What would that be?

It appears you are not suited for any of the normal houses.

And why is that?

You have all of the traits. This means you belong in all of the houses.

So what will you do?

I'm going to sort you into Floppy Rabbit.

Oh god.

Sorry. You can sit wherever, I'll explain the rules about it in a second.

Wait a second I-

"FLOPPY RABBIT!"

The small boy numbly took off the hat and went to sit beside Brian. Deciding then and there that the house needed to stick together.

The Headmaster then stood up and was about to address the hall when Harry spoke.

"Hogwarts!"

The hall turned to him.

"The rules of Floppy Rabbit House.

"Floppy Rabbit house is the house of... mystery. Of common sense. And of reasoning. And nonsense. As many as one or all students per year can be sorted into the house of the DIVINE RABBIT! And the rules are as follows.

A Flop can sit on any of the tables.

They can sleep in any of the dorms

House Points are awarded to wherever the Flop thinks they should go.

A Flop has no curfew!

That is all."

Harry felt a voice in his head.

I am Lady Hogwarts. You, child, are a genius. Bid the Hall well from me.

"By the way, Lady Hogwarts bids you well."

It was just about then that chaos insued.

Lady Hogwarts didn't just bid people well.

People hadn't even known it was sentient.

Harry felt another voice in his head. Brian.

Sorry I couldn't connect to you earlier. The Headmaster had placed some blocks on your magic and abilities. We need to speak later. I will come and find you. You did well with the sorting. Try to hold on until I see you, I know things must be hard.

So hold on Harry did.