Author's Note: OK. I tried my best to find out the first name of Ryou's father, but since my research has so far turned up nada, I'll just be referring to him as 'Tsuta' (which means 'ivy'). If anyone happens to know his name, that'd be a big help to me. Thanks much!
---
Chapter 2: The Light of Day
"Arise from the sea's dark depths, O Leviathan-
And to the shore, please guide the forsaken.
The lost, the desperate, the ones cast away;
Carry them from their despair into the light of day."
Pudding gazed up at the tall building as they approached. It looked perhaps a decade or so old, and was constructed of brown brick. It had no windows, and there was no name displayed prominently anywhere. However, as Pudding and Ruka came nearer to the door, Pudding noticed a tiny plaque (only a few centimetres tall) hanging on the wall. It had four little lines of text on it, and it was written in English, which Pudding could not read. The first letter of each line was larger than the other letters, and it looked very fancy and official.
"What does that say?" Pudding asked, gesturing at the mysterious plaque.
"'Association for the Investigation of Unethical Study'." Ruka read it in English first, then translated it into Japanese. "In English, that's abbreviated AIUS, which is our more common name."
"Why English, though? Is the person who started the company a foreigner?"
"She was half-American, so you could say that." Ruka slid a key card through a receiver on the door. It beeped loudly, and the door swished open. Pudding peered inside; the entryway was too dark to see much. "Welcome to AIUS Headquarters, Pudding."
"So...what are we doing here?" Pudding continued, entering the dim hall. "Didn't you say something about Chimera Animas?"
"Oh. About that..." Ruka winked mischievously. "I lied. Sorry."
"What?" Pudding cried. "Why?"
"This is why you shouldn't talk to strangers, see? Anyway, I had to bring you here for examination. This is my job."
"Examination?"
"Cor-rect." Ruka suddenly pinned Pudding against a wall, then flicked open a walkie-talkie. "Boss, this is Agent 522A. The target has been secured. Repeat, the target has been secured. Awaiting orders."
There was a pause, then a man's voice came through. "All agents to Unit 10. We've got a Code MC-4. Repeat, all agents to..."
Within minutes, people in black lab coats were filling the room. Pudding was suddenly snatched up by a tall man, handcuffed, and whisked off down a few flights of stairs. Five other men followed close behind. Finally, it dawned on Pudding what was happening.
I'm being kidnapped!
"L...let me go!" she cried, wriggling around madly. "LET ME GO!" Her lab-coated guards ignored this, and continued going further and further down below the building. The halls seemed to grow narrower and narrower as time went on.
At last, the group reached a single door. It looked to be a very heavy, sturdy door, constructed of some type of steel. There were numerous locks on it, as well. A small sign hanging on the door read 'RESEARCH LAB'.
---
Ping!
"Email! Email!" chirped Ryou's laptop (in a voice suspiciously similar to Masha's). Ryou, who had been randomly sitting around in his room angsting (as usual), checked his inbox.
You have 1 unread message(s) in 'Inbox.'
Sender: irukachan42aius.jp
Subject: The Truth About the Mew Mew Project
Ryou's brow furrowed. Probably spam. He deleted the message, and started to go back to his brooding.
"Email! Email!" chirped the computer again. Ryou, growing irritated, returned to his inbox.
You have 1 unread message(s) in 'Inbox.'
Sender: irukachan42aius.jp
Subject: The Truth About the Mew Mew Project
Another one? Did Keiichirou sign me up for some silly Mew Mew Fanclub or something? Ryou was about to delete the new message, but before he had a chance to do so, the email opened on its own. What the heck?
Sender: irukachan42aius.jp
Subject: The Truth About the Mew Mew Project
Message Body: Greetings, Mr. Shirogane. Judging from your behaviour during previous encounters, you seem to be of the idea that you know everything about the Mew Mew Project.
But do you really?
I possess a series of documents that you might find enlightening. If you want to know the truth, please reply immediately after reading this message. If you are content with living a lie, then delete this message and any others that I send in the future. It's your choice, Mr. Shirogane.
I love kitties!
Ryou chuckled at the inanity of the final line (presumably, the sender had an email signature and had forgotten to disable it). It makes the whole thing sound so stupid, he thought. What does this guy think he's doing?
Nevertheless, Ryou began composing a reply.
Message Body: Well, well, well. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you've watched 'The Matrix' one too many times. Next time, learn how to play the game before you start.
Send
Compose New Message
To: irukachan42aius.jp
Subject: THIS DINNER PARTY IS TOP DOLLAR!
He typed some random gibberish about bears and squares and witches' brew for the message body, then attached a nice little virus he had written the other day.
Of course, he had NOT written the virus with the intention of crashing government computers or stealing significant amounts of money or anything like that. Definitely not. Ignore any people who say otherwise, because they're just jealous and spreading vicious lies.
"Ryou, what are you doing?" Keiichirou enquired, walking in and carrying a broom. "From the expression on your face, one would think you just got away with murder."
"I'm just messing with some stupid kid," Ryou explained, typing furiously. "If he's allowed to bother me, I'm allowed to bother him."
"You're evil," Keiichirou remarked.
---
"Owwwwwww..." Pudding whimpered. The doctor finished taking the blood sample and gingerly wrapped a bandage around Pudding's arm, but it continued to hurt.
"It's, erm, it's okay," the hapless doctor attempted. "Keep your chin up, now." Comforting crying children was not part of his job description.
"When are you people going to let me go?" Pudding asked.
"As soon as we're done running tests."
"How long will that take?"
"A few weeks, probably."
"But I want to go home now!"
"Home?" Ruka suddenly appeared in the doorway, arms folded. "In case you've forgotten, you beat the crap out of an innocent bystander 'at home'. Do you want to go and face that already?"
"..." Pudding sobered up.
"Mizuiwa, you're a lifesaver," the doctor remarked, rubbing his temples. "Although I must wonder if it's okay to say something so cold to a grade-schooler..."
"It's best not to worry about things like that." Ruka strolled nonchalantly over to Pudding. "OK, Punri, it's time for a psychological examination in Unit 23! Are you ready?"
"Uh-huh." Pudding hopped off the examination table and followed the grey-haired girl out the door, apparently having gotten used to the peculiar nickname. The doctor, meanwhile, gathered up the various samples he had taken and went off to deliver them to the lab.
"Ruka?" Pudding began after a moment of walking.
"What? You gotta go to the can or something?"
"Um, why are they running all these tests on me and stuff? What's so special about me?"
Ruka turned around, looking a little surprised. "Huh? Isn't it obvious?"
"Not really..."
"Well, see, it's like this. You can't inject a giraffe with elephant genes and get a giraffe with a trunk. Likewise, you can't inject a human with monkey genes and get a monkey-eared girl. Genetics just don't work like that. But for whatever reason, that Shirogane guy keeps saying that that's how the Mew Mews came to be. Obviously, he's lying, so that means that there's something very, very, very fishy going on with the Mew Mew Project, you see? Something suspicious going on behind the scenes. And if there's someone going around turning people into half-animal thingies and then lying about it, it's our job to investigate."
"I see. 'Investigation of Unethical Study'. So that's what this whole operation is for? Researching the Mew Mew Project?"
"Yup. That's why we brought you here- we had to get ahold of a Mew Mew, so that we could examine her genetic structure and stuff like that."
"You know, you could have just asked. You didn't have to kidnap me..."
"Aha, but knowing you-" Ruka poked Pudding's nose. "- you would have demanded money if we had asked."
"Speaking of which, are you going to pay me for this anyway?"
"No."
---
"Hm-hm-hm-HM-HM-HM, hmhmhmhmhmhmhm HM-HM-HM..." Ryou hummed, as he walked towards the workshop with Masha in tow. According to Ichigo, something had gotten a bit shaken around in Masha's internal workings recently, and the robot had begun producing a deafening air-horn sound every time he was within 3 metres of a pepperoni pizza. After Ichigo had refused to shut up about how annoying this was (ignoring Ryou's suggestion that she simply keep Masha away from pepperoni pizza), Ryou was now being forced to repair the robot. Some might consider it a bit of a chore, but he hadn't gotten to work on Masha in quite a while, and he had started to miss the little automaton.
"Um, Ryou?" Lettuce's sweet voice called from the dining area.
"Yes?"
"There is a very large package for you from someone named Iruka."
Ryou frowned, trying to remember if he knew anyone by that name. It definitely sounded familiar. He then recalled the email address of that prankster who had kept sending him those emails the other day.
"I do not think there is anything alive in it," Lettuce continued, "but it smells very strongly like a cat, for some reason. Some of the customers are complaining. So, if you could come and figure out what it is..."
Great, now that prankster knows my address, too? he thought. Lovely. He marched off to the door, to see what garbage he had received.
---
It wasn't garbage.
Ryou wasn't quite sure what Iruka's package was, but it was most certainly not garbage. He pored over the thick stack of papers in his room, his shock growing with every sentence.
The first page simply contained the title: 'Notes on the Human-Animal Synthesis Project', by Dr. Tsuta Shirogane. These were research notes on what amounted to the predecessor of the Mew Mew Project, and the pages held a plethora of information about it- some intriguing, some discomforting, and some downright horrific (the word 'vivisection' seemed to come up on almost every page). The large number of photos and diagrams did not help matters.
What in the world was my father thinking? Ryou wondered, turning the page with some apprehension. The next page spoke of how a human, 'Subject 105', had almost died after receiving a blood transfusion from a heavily-radiated turtle. The page also contained a detailed diagram of the radioactive turtle's entrails, which was not a pretty sight.
"Ryou, dinner!" Keiichirou called from downstairs. Ryou felt rather sick after seeing the turtle's innards, but his stomach was growling obnoxiously. He'd have to force something down. Ryou shoved the pile of papers under his bed, and left the room slowly.
I don't know whether I want to thank Iruka or punch him.
---
"Please try to complete the obstacle course in the shortest amount of time possible," Ruka instructed, as she led Pudding into the yard. "I'll wait for you at the end, to give you the next assignment."
"OK." Pudding began running the course; Ruka turned and started walking back into the corridor, towards where the obstacle course ended.
However, she bumped into someone on the way.
"Hey, watch where you're...Boss?" Ruka hurriedly bowed. "Wow, this is unexpected...W-what are you doing out here, instead of in your office?"
"Well, as I sat at my desk and did paperwork, I suddenly had a vision. A seraph suddenly appeared before me, bathed in golden light, and told me to buy and eat a snow cone from a vendor on the other side of town. Of course I have to follow its order. Who knows what might happen otherwise?"
"In short, you're playing hooky." Ruka sighed. "Honestly, how do you manage to run this organisation if you're so irresponsible?"
"Ah, the donkey calls the pig 'long ears', it would seem. Who was it, I ask, who was fired from her previous part-time job for continuously dancing to techno music while driving?"
"I told you not to mention that." Ruka folded her arms. "And who was it, then, who stayed up really late every night last month because the network was rerunning 'Choudenji Robo Combattler V'?"
"Well, that was you."
"Oh yeah. I forgot. My bad."
"Even so, I also stayed up to watch it, as it happens."
"Man, you've gotta love that show. 'Choudenji yo-yo', indeed. It was awesome."
"Yes, that was a real golden age for anime. Mindless explosions, gratuitous fanservice, crazy disco music, and not a melodramatic transvesite vampire in sight!"
"What more could you want?" Ruka nodded. "I'm definitely getting that GaoGaiGar boxset when it comes out, no matter how expensive it is. Now that's a real mecha anime! It's totally getting back to basics. And it's got a really great opening song, too."
"It doesn't hold a candle to the Combattler V theme, though."
"Oh, that's so true! That was the best song ever!"
To the horror of everyone who was just going about their business, Ruka and the boss proceeded to actually start to sing the Combattler V opening. Sometime around the time when they reached the second "warera no", Ruka remembered that she was supposed to be waiting for Pudding at the end of the obstacle course.
"Ah! Sorry, I've got to get going," she informed the boss. "See you later! 'VVV Victory', and all that!"
"Goodbye, Iruka!" he called after her.
"We have a mecha-otaku for a boss," one of the passing scientists commented to himself, in disbelief. "Please just kill me now."
---
A/N: Yes, Choudenji Robo Combattler V ('Super Electromagnetic Robot Combattler V') is a real anime, believe it or not. It actually was one of the first anime to focus on the people piloting the robot (rather than upon the robot itself), so it might be considered a classic. It is so old that it actually was broadcasted in mono. That's right, it was before they invented stereo sound! And yes, it really does have a themesong that mentions a super electromagnetic yo-yo, because one of Combattler V's weapons is...a super electromagnetic yo-yo. I pretty much died laughing when I learned that.
And by the way, GaoGaiGar is also a real anime (albeit a considerably more recent one than Combattler V). And its opening theme 'Yuusha-Oh Tanjou' really is awesome, at least in my (very odd) opinion.
Speaking of awesome, Gainax's opening animation for the Daicon IV convention is possibly the awesomest thing in the history of awesomeness. It features a bunnygirl flying around on a magic sword and battling Darth Vader, Godzilla, and a number of other pop icons, all set to Electric Light Orchestra's 'Twilight'. It is pretty much impossible to get more awesome than that, unless magic fireballs, super electromagnetic yo-yos, laser Sphinxes, and Chuck Norris are involved.
---
Next Chapter...
They can close their eyes. They can pretend. They can fake a smile. But once they've learned the truth, they can never quite go back to the way things were before. "The Ones Who Cannot Return"
---
Is everybody ready?
3...2...1...
KABOOM!
HOORAY!
Tally
Solleni presents:
Tokyo Mew Mew Little Extra Theatre 'Welcome to
Café Mew Mew'!
Today's Episode: "Leave It to Iruka"
"Good day, everybody!" Iruka began. She was sitting in a grey plush armchair; this time, Pudding and Ryou were nowhere to be seen, as were their chairs. "Because Ryou and Pudding are currently bound and gagged in broom closets (courtesy of me), today's episode is a Ruka special, hosted by the one and only me! We'll be exploring my mission and my past, so make sure to watch carefully!"
She pressed a button on the remote control. "Here we go!"
Nothing happened.
"Huh? Was that the wrong button?" Iruka fiddled around with the remote control. "Uh, let's see...oh, okay!" She pressed a different button. The screen lit up and the room lights darkened. "Here we go!"
-'Iruka's Mission, Part 1'-
"La, la, la la la! Filing, filing, 'cause the boss says so!" Iruka cheerily stuffed papers into a file cabinet. "I don't really know what any of these papers are, for I am a lowly secretary, and it's really probably a bad idea to entrust them to me and me alone!" She proceeded to 'accidentally' rip a paper stamped 'VITALLY IMPORTANT'. "Uh-oh!"
"Mizuiwa, there are strategies for being promoted besides acting as if you fail miserably at your current job," the boss's secretary remarked, walking up to Iruka's desk. "As far as strategies for being fired, though, that one really can't be beat."
"Thank ye, ma'am!"
"Oh, and the boss wants to see you in his office."
"All right! Am I getting promoted?" Iruka asked, knocking some coffee over another document.
"I...somehow doubt it."
-'Iruka's Mission, Part 2'-
"Mizuiwa Iruka, I am giving you an incredibly important mission," the boss began.
"Buying takoyaki for your lunch?"
"Erm, no. It's not quite as important as that." The boss handed her a picture of Pudding. "We have reason to believe that this child is really Mew Pudding. Find her and convince her to come here so that we can examine her. Do not let her know your purpose for bringing her here, and do not let on that you know she is a Mew Mew. Just act as if you don't know anything about it, all right?"
"Ro-ger!" Iruka tried to salute and poked herself in the eye. "Ow!"
For some reason, I get a feeling that she won't have to pretend that she knows nothing, the boss thought.
-End of 'Iruka's Mission' segment-
"All right! After seeing a whole episode about me, I'm sure the hit counter for this story will skyrocket!" Iruka laughed.
"Um, Miss Iruka?" one of the cameramen said nervously. "The numbers are in, and readership isn't skyrocketing. It's more like it's skydiving. I think no one likes you."
"What?" Iruka yelled, looking horror-stricken. "You mean I'm not everyone's favourite character?"
"No. No, you're not."
"...Uwaaaaa-aaa-aaa!" Iruka suddenly dropped to her knees and began rocking back and forth, sobbing. "But, but, I HAVE to be adored! I HAVE to be a star! Mommy, why won't you hold me?"
"Uh...that's our show for today, folks," the cameraman said hesitatingly. "See you next-"
"Not so fast!" Pudding shouted, hopping on-screen. Her arms and legs were tied together with jumpropes, but her mouth was free. "Now that I'm free, we can have a proper segment with actual parodies, instead of Iruka's random weirdness! OK, Iruka, quit the theatrics and get out of here. It's time for the real show."
"I hate you!" Iruka sobbed, as a pair of guards escorted her to the exit. "I hate you both!"
"Shouldn't you let Mr. Ryou out, too?" asked the hapless cameraman.
"He can fend for himself. Now, onto the parodies, for real!"
-The Corrupt World-
"What does that say?" Pudding asked, gesturing at the mysterious plaque.
"ACROSS," Ruka explained simply. They hopped down into the sewer and landed in front of a throne. A man with silver hair, yellow eyes, and a ridiculous outfit sat on said throne.
Ruka saluted smartly. "Hail, Il Pallazzo!"
-Serial Experiments Ryou-
Ryou was about to delete the new message, but before he had a chance to do so, the email opened on its own. What the heck?
Sender: Chisa Yomoda
Subject: No subject
Message Body: Why you should do that is something you should figure out for yourself.
I don't need to stay in a place like this.
If you stay in a place like this, you might not be able to connect.
What's it like when you die? It really hurts :)
". . ."
---
"And that's really the end of our show," Pudding said cheerily, ignoring the fact that Iruka was sneaking up behind her with an axe. "See you next week, everybody!"
