RESIDENT EVIL : MENTAL
Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas The Night Before Christmas
And all through Raccoon City
And the zombies were stirring
To eat everyone
What a pity
All the stockings were hung by the chimney with care
With hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there
But he was dead
And so were his reindeer
Big bite marks on their limbs
Blood spattered up on the highest piers
The children were nestled
All snug in their beds
While lickers snuck up on them
Drove claws through their heads
And Clarie with her bow gun
And Jill in her Capcom cap
Had just settled their thoughts
When the door went
SNAP!
Outside the RPD building
There grew such a clatter
That they ran outside
To see what was the matter
Raising their guns
They flew like a flash
Saw all the zombies
And felt an earth-shaking crash!
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Had Leon Kennedy drooling
Claire: Hentai…*kicks him*
And then had him on the floor
Then what to Mystik Amethyst's wondering eyes should appear
A psycho lookin' sleigh
With eight packing reindeer
The muscled driver
So lively and quick
That had Jill and Claire thinkin'
He probably be pretty slick St. Nick
More rabid than vultures they cames
But when they landed, he called them all by name
On Slasher, on Gasher, on Fasher and Nixon!
On Vomit, on Stupid, on Scanner and Blitzen!
To the top of the roofs
To the top of the wall
Now bomb away!
Bomb away!
Blast away all!
So up to the RPD roof top
Like lightning they flew
With the sleigh full of missiles
And St. Nicholas too
As Chris drew his head
And was turning around
Down the chimney he came
St. Nick came with a pound
They both ran down the stairs
Uzzis in hand
Read to shoot
The virus that should've been banned
Jill saw the old man
Musculer and skinny
She sighed and said
Jill: Stupid, old wussy ninny…
Santa was dressed all in fur to his head to his foot
All tarnished and trashed with ashes and soot
Unknown amounts of ammo
Slung on his back
He looked like a taliban
Except with a larger "toy" sack
His eyes, how they twinkled
His dimples, how sullen
His cheeks were like pansies
His nose looked like it fell in
His mouth was full of broken teeth and such
It seemed that cement was his favored thing to munch
The beard on his chin
Was as white as the snow
The stump up a pipe he held tight in his teeth
I didn't know Santa did drugs underneath
His face was sullen
And he had a round little belly
Which when poked
He laughed like the Boy of Pillsbary
A wink of his eye
And a twist of his head
Soon gave Leon the thought
That everything would be dead
He spoke not a word
But got right to his work
He said her needed two minutes
He sounded like Papa Smurf
He finished and laying a finger
On the side of his nose
And giving a nod
Up to his sleigh they all rose
They grabbed what they need
And thanked Santa kindly
Then went down to the streets
To begin battle
Finally!
Jill blew off ones head
Claire sawed off the other
They both enjoyed their new toys
Then they decided not to bother
With the men that they had
They'd never get this stuff
Because they were women
And because they said they weren't as tough
So they whispered something
In all the zombies deformed ears
And they all agreed
And they were almost in tears
They were scared they would die
So did they girls bidding
The ran at the men
And devoured them
And so that ends our Christmas fun
So Merry Christmas
And Kawanza
And Soltis
And that jewish holiday I can't spell
To all!
See you in hell!
-Mystik Amethyst
