Chapter 2: Weathering the Storm

Even if most would never exactly see them, the sound abruptly brought them crashing back to the reality of where they were and the mission they were supposed to be doing. The wild impulse to discard all scruples evaporated and Sam moved quickly to cover Andy's chest as best he could with one arm. She collapsed back against him nearly losing consciousness with shock as awareness of her surroundings flooded back into her drugged mind. Sam hauled them both away from the window and dove to the floor, cursing himself viciously.

What had he done? He had pushed her beyond all boundaries of her inhibitions. Hell, he'd blown the doors off his own code. Noelle most likely saw the whole thing, and God knows what she made of what had happened. How many times had members of the small team planning this pulled him aside to lecture him in no uncertain terms that actual sex could not happen, and asked him whether he could really handle this? The killer most likely got an eyeful that would send him into a rage-probably more than what they'd intended to provoke. Christ! Sam was very good at his job, but this time he'd fucked up royally. If this ever got out, the scandal would follow them both for the rest of their lives. The whole department would be dragged through the mud. All it would take was one voyeur who had been lucky enough to point a good telephoto lens in the right place to put something up on the internet, and they were done. Fuck!

Andy was shaking uncontrollably in his arms muttering incoherent sounds, and not in a good way. She was practically going into shock. He had to take care of her first and worry about the other consequences later. He pulled her closer and tried to comfort her. Finally, he scooped her up and tucked her gently under the covers of the bed, and stalked over to pull the damn curtains. The show was over for this screwed up op.

Andy called out for him in a panicky voice. He walked over to the bed terrified of how she'd react. Her eyes were wild, she looked like a trapped animal, just like the night she'd had to shoot the pedophile in that dark basement. Oh God, was she afraid of him now? He ran his fingers through his hair, wanting to pull it out. He knew it wasn't the same, but images of Sarah flashed through his mind. He felt like a complete heel.

Andy could see the stricken look on Sam's face. Even though she felt like she was drowning from the shock and shame of her own loss of control, she knew she couldn't let him take on all the blame for this. She reached a trembling hand out to him and lifted the covers for him to join her.

Relief washed over him and nearly took his legs out from under him. Sam crawled in next to her and held her gently, stroking her hair and murmuring over and over how sorry he was while she clung to him, buried her head in his chest and sobbed uncontrollably. "I should never have crossed the line like that. Not ever, and certainly not on the job."

"Sam, don't do that to yourself. Don't act like that was anything like what happened to Sarah," she finally managed as she dared a quick glance before looking down again. "It's just, I…I NEVER thought I was capable of anything like that. It's just overwhelming and terrifying to know that boundaries I thought were a bedrock part of me could just evaporate the first time you touched me." She looked up and held his gaze this time, "I've been such an idiot. I was in total denial about how deep and raw the feelings ran for both of us. I thought it was something we could and should get over. I half knew I was kidding myself. I think that's why I kept finding excuses to put off actually packing up to move in with Luke. But I didn't realize how much you were doing the same."

"Andy, how could you not have known how crazy I am about you?" he rolled his eyes. "When Hurricane Andy blew through that crack house door, you turned my world completely upside down and nothing has been the same ever since." he added with that wistful lop sided grin that always made her heart stop a beat. He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity before adding, "I'm glad you didn't go through with moving into the Dream House with your Ken doll. You're so beautiful, I could never seem to keep my eyes off you no matter how hard I tried. I think the entire division probably knows I'm hopelessly hung up on you even if most of them aren't brave enough to say anything."

"Really? Then why did you put the moves on me too fast and then keep pushing me back to Luke later?" she asked, eying him curiously.

He groaned. "Because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. You threw me a little off balance, McNally. I sure as hell wasn't prepared to be responsible for teaching the ropes to someone as sexy as you. And stepping aside for Callaghan wasn't easy, believe me. But I thought I had to give you space to decide for yourself whether the thing you had going with him was what you wanted. I wasn't sure whether or not the blackout night was just a confused cry for help when you hit bottom. I didn't think you could go back and sleep with him for so long if it had really meant something to you."

He propped himself up on one elbow, "How could you do that, by the way? I know for a fact that you never had sex like that with him," he shot her a pointed look.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested, but he shushed her.

"I'm sure. And don't get defensive Andy. Sometimes what you think will be a good thing just doesn't really spark and turns out a bit lukewarm." Sam shrugged. "Happens all the time."

"Lukewarm, ha ha. What, is that from your puns 101 joke book?" Andy rolled her eyes.

He grinned, "No pun intended, but if the shoe fits…I just meant some things you can tell have never happened before, that's all." He brushed his nose against hers, and gave her a gentle kiss. "You think I would've gone to live like a monk undercover for 8 months if things were like that with Monica? I've never seem a woman's whole body react quite as intensely Andy. That was a first for me too." She blushed to her roots.

"Oh my God!" she sat bolt upright her spine ramrod straight, clutching the covers to her. She looked at Sam with a stricken face. "Noelle must have seen everything! What will she do?"

Sam looked at her and tried to infuse his voice with as much reassurance as possible. "It will be OK. She'll probably call any minute now to make sure you're OK, and that what she saw wasn't me ravishing you. We're probably going to have to answer some pretty damn awkward questions, but if we do, I think she'll agree to cover for us. She'll probably have some choice advice, especially for me, about getting our act together. But as long as this op doesn't completely blow up, I don't think she'll want to embarrass you by letting anyone else know full details about what really happened. Noelle's good people under that gruff exterior."

She swallowed hard, a lump forming at the mere thought of having to talk about the most earth shattering but also humiliating and shocking thing she'd ever done in her life. With Noelle. How was she going to be able to do it? She glanced over at Sam and knew she had to do it for him. She could tell the guilt over his behavior weighed heavily. She couldn't let him take a fall for what they both did. If she didn't take partial ownership to Noelle, Andy knew the ethical senior officer would report Sam, whether they were friends or not. If the story went up the chain and there was any suspicion whatsoever Sam had taken advantage of the situation, she knew Luke would see to it that he was punished to the hilt. This kind of coloring outside the line would mean much more than a the token slap on the wrist Sam usually managed.

She reached over to smooth the lines from his forehead. "Sam, don't put this all on yourself. I was as much to blame. We were both just in way over our heads trying to do this kinky assignment together with everything that's been between us. I mean, it was asking a lot. God, the excruciating prep sessions, with endless discussions about how to be provocative, without being lawsuit bait. Did they really think we could walk that line?"

He looked at her with such concern and tenderness, it broke her heart. "It was hard on me too. I'm sorry I didn't protect you from it better, and I'm sorry I played with a live wire tonight. Are we OK?" he asked in husky voice. "Will you be OK about what happened?"

She grimaced. "Eventually. But I want us to start a clean slate. You're not my TO anymore, so no more pretending, no more complications. It's going to take me a while to figure out what to think about the fact that, you know, I got so turned on by…that." She gestured to the window, and looked over at him shyly. "That's uh, not really me. But I'll be OK. We will be OK. I just want next time to be nice and simple and slow and romantic. No interruptions, nothing too kinky. Just you and me making love with nothing and no one else to worry about."

His eyes darkened. He leaned in close and asked in that husky Sam voice, "Can we make 'next time' soon?"

She caught her breath, but forced herself to say lightly, "I wish it could be right now because I could use the reassurance that I'm not a complete deviant. But we need to focus on salvaging this op."

He stared deeply into her eyes and said firmly, "Andy, listen to me. There is nothing deviant about you. A lot of people have fantasies about that sort of thing, and under the right circumstances, perfectly normal people can act on them. But don't worry. That's not really my thing either, and believe me, I don't want a repeat of you being exposed like that to anyone else's eyes ever again. But please, don't ever be self-conscious about losing control." He winked at her, "That part I intend to make happen on a regular basis if you'll let me." And just like that, the dazzling, McNally smile lit up her face, and he knew he'd said the right thing, that she'd be fine. This wouldn't be yet another trauma she carried around in that gorgeous head.

"Besides," he said giving her a mischievous glance. "how many other couples, even here, ever had a stadium crowd roar like that right when they came?" His lips twitched.

"Sam!" she squealed and slapped his arm. The she giggled, "That really happened, didn't it? I mean, what are the odds? Seriously?"

"What can I say, McNally?" he said leaning back and stretching his arms high before clasping them behind his head. "Clearly we're a one in a million couple. And I must have done something right in my sorry life because God just granted me the fantasy of pretty much every teen aged boy on the planet," he grinned.

"Would you shut up!" she gasped, swatting him with a pillow. Then the giggles took over and were completely infectious. She collapsed on him and both of them dissolved into fits of laughter until they were gasping for breath. Andy wiped tears from her eyes and clutched at her side. "Oh God, I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life!" she finally gasped.

He hugged her tight still grinning broadly, "God I love you. It's too bad this isn't exactly the kind of first date story you can tell anyone."

Her head snapped up, eyes wide. He stared at her and grew serious. He grabbed her hand. "I know this isn't a date, but I do love you, you know. More than you can imagine. That's why I waited. It nearly killed me, but you were worth it." He kissed her hand and stared at her in that way that always left her breathless.

"I love you too, Sam. I'm sorry, I'm SO sorry it took me so long to admit it to myself."

He pulled her closer and gave her a long gentle kiss expressing more than words could that all was forgiven. Then he got up to bring her a robe and gently tucked around the disheveled remnants of her clothes. "You'll have plenty of time to make up for it. For now, go and take a quick shower. I'll call Noelle and start making plans for how we're going to deal with this. She can ream me out for a while and get it out of her system a little before you have to talk to her. Are you sure you're OK to go forward with the bait op in the garage?"

"Yeah. I'm good now. I want to salvage this and get that guy." She looked Sam in the eye to convince him she meant it, that they shouldn't cancel. "The only thing that could make having to face the music worse is having to live with the thought of a serial killer having seen us and running around loose. Sam, we have to at least try to get him tonight. It's still our best shot at him. There's dozens of cops clocking overtime waiting to back us up. There's no way I'm going to just call it off."

He scanned her face for a long time, debating whether he she meant it or was just putting on a brave face. "OK," he said finally. "Go on then," he nodded toward the bathroom. "We'll have to be ready soon."