I sensed her sit next to me and I drew in an unnecessary breath that lit a scorching fire in my throat. Painstakingly slowly, I turned my head to face her and found myself staring into beautifully familiar brown eyes.
Bella. She was my Bella.
My brain worked hard to make sense of what was happening. I wanted it so badly to be her that I tried to fit her into my perfect memories of Bella, but even as I exhausted my mind trying to make it true, I registered the slight differences between the creature beside me and the memory of my love.
She smelled like Bella, absolutely. Her scent assailed me as I searched her features. Nothing, no one, in the world smelled like Bella, until now of course. She had Bella's eyes, the color of melted milk chocolate and so expressive that I could see every emotion in them as her brain worked. I lowered my eyes and saw Bella's mouth too, the slightly unbalanced proportions of it with the top lip just a bit fuller than the bottom. My mouth continued to burn as I drank in her face.
But it wasn't Bella. Her nose was a little wider, and in place of Bella's flawless, pale skin was a beautiful light tan complexion. And her hair was thicker, fuller, shiny and jet black.
When I finally looked back up into those eyes, I could see her discomfort at my silence and obvious creepiness as I stared at her. Her smile dimmed. I had to fix it.
"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen," I gave her my most devastating smile. Dazzling, Bella would have said.
Her lips curved upward once more. "Emma Black. You must be new, there is no possible way I could have seen you last year and forgotten about it."
I worked to keep smiling as I answered, "Yes, my family just moved here from Syracuse, New York. I'm pleased to meet you." My insides were crumbling. I wanted to die. I had no doubt who she was and it tore my cold dead heart into cold dead shreds. This beautiful girl was so obviously the daughter of Bella Swan and Jacob Black.
"You as well, Edward Cullen."
"What a beautiful name, Emma," I tested.
"I understand that to be a compliment, but I really had no hand in choosing it. I'll tell my mother you think so, though." She smiled again.
"An Austen fan?" Please God don't let me have said that out loud.
"Yes! Good guess!" She grinned at me. Die, die, die, Edward. "So, Edward Cullen, what exactly are the chances of you wanting to be my lab partner for the duration of this delightful year in chemistry?"
Was this Alice's idea of an interesting day? I'll have to give that to her, I haven't been this interested in ages. Why wasn't Emma scared of me like she should be? Perhaps she had inherited a lack of self preservation from her mother. I wondered what else was in her genes. And so I listened, as hard as I could.
Say yes, her mind pleaded.
"Yes." I said without thinking. She looked delighted. "Of course I'll be your partner."
"Ducky. That's a pretty serious commitment you've just made, Edward Cullen, so probably you should tell me about yourself."
"You keep using my full name."
"I like it," she shrugged, "nice round consonant sounds, I like the way it rolls off my tongue."
"It's rather formal."
"Then can I call ya Eddie?"
"Not if you expect me to answer."
She gave a magnificent smirk. "Ok. So, Edward, you were about to tell me your deepest darkest secrets. Or a condensed, casual small talk version of your life. Either way, let's hear it."
On autopilot, I began to regale her with the carefully constructed story we had put together about our history and our move here. Inwardly, I was still rejoicing. I could hear her. Intently, as I continued speaking, I listened again for her mind.
Nothing.
I tried harder.
Still nothing.
I looked into those eyes, orbs of emotion, and I knew she was thinking something. But I was deaf to it. Hmm.
When I had finished, she looked satisfied with the tale. I continued to try to pry into her brain with no luck. Looks like we were going to have to do this the old fashioned way. "Quid pro quo, Emma. I think turnabout is fair play," I told her.
"Is that like 'I showed you mine, now show me yours?'" She asked with a cocked eyebrow. I barked out a laugh. No, she most certainly was not Bella Swan.
"Something like that, yes."
"Well I'm 15, a sophomore, and I've lived around here all my life. I actually grew up about an hour or so from here in a super small town, and then we moved to Seattle when I was about 10, because my mom went to college here. I'm an only child and I act like it. My behavior is often interpreted as socially inappropriate, but it's really just me saying what I think. I don't really have a filter. It goes from here to here with no purification process." She said, tapping her temple and then her mouth. "And I think you might be the most beautiful person who's existed, like, ever."
Well I guess that proved her point about the honesty. And what fascinating word choice… "person" and "existed." Like she already knew.
She laughed at the surprised look on my face. "Sorry, I'm something of an open book, so to speak."
Her very mother had spoken words so similar to me 22 years ago. I remembered it with painful clarity. My face is so easy to read – my mother always calls me her open book, Bella had said.
On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read, I'd disagreed. Something told me I wouldn't have the same problem with Emma.
No, certainly not. I wouldn't have any problem with Emma because we were going to leave immediately. We could not stay in Seattle. Bella lived in Seattle. This was not part of the plan. I began mentally sifting through our options and devising an exit strategy.
"Edward?" I met her eyes and realized I hadn't said anything yet. Lovely, now I'm rude.
"Maybe we should call People Magazine and let them know. I feel like they might owe me cover then."
"Hugh Jackman's gonna shit when he finds out he's been dethroned."
Profanity that I normally would have balked at just seemed to fit her character. I never would have thought it was acceptable to hear a woman talk that way but it just seemed natural for her. It's who she was, raw and unapologetic, a true presence, using all the space around her as she talked with her hands.
I tried to go back to my escape planning but I couldn't concentrate on anything else but her face.
"This is a junior chemistry class." I said dumbly.
She leaned in close to me and lowered her voice "I'm sort of brilliant. Don't tell anyone though. It's terrible for my image."
Every cell in my body vibrated with her nearness. I wanted to touch her so badly it ached, my Bella reincarnate, so close I could taste her.
"Are you very popular then?" I asked.
"Hardly. I don't give a rat's ass about these wieners," she said, gesturing towards the room, "but acting like you don't care makes you cool or something by proxy, so they all know who I am anyway. You know how in movies there's always some artsy weird guy and it's not trendy to like him but everyone respects him even though they don't 'get' him? I might be that guy. Basically they let me do my thing and they do theirs. We have an agreement of sorts."
I wished she would keep on talking. I loved hearing her speak and knowing that it mirrored her thoughts exactly.
Yet why had I heard her mind once and then never again? It was grating on me, I had to figure out why.
That's when another voice popped into my head. I told ya, Alice gloated from outside the room. I could see her peering in from the hallway and I glowered at her. Oh Edward, she's phenomenal. This is going to be fun. I pointedly ignored her and turned my attention back to Emma. I know you can still hear me Edward. And I saw you decide to go. But then you decided to stay.
Did I?
Yes.
I tried to shoo her with a nod of my head, but she just stood there with her face in the window, smirking.
"What was that, just there?" Emma asked.
"What was what?"
"That little tic you just had, is there…" Observant little thing. She followed my gaze to the doorway where Alice was smiling like an idiot, waving. "Ohh… is that your girlfriend? Are you in trouble now?" she asked mischievously.
"Close, my sister."
"Well aren't I an asshole." She spun around and waved back, sending Alice dancing down the hall.
"I wouldn't go that far," I said.
"Give it time, I'm sure you will sooner or later." God that smile. It was genuine and beautiful, it melted me every time. I could see almost every tooth in her head that smile was so big.
She was positively disarming.
The teacher walked in then, effectively ending our banter. She listened intently to everything he said, and I watched her with fascination, wishing I could hear her brain as it processed. She was so unlike anyone I'd met since, well, her mother.
At the end of the lesson she stood up and accidentally knocked her books, and then her bag, and then her pencil off the table. My heart ached as I watched her fumble through Bella's clumsiness. She ducked down to scoop up the bag and books, and I reached for the pencil. When we had righted ourselves, she dropped the books back on the table and looked at me sheepishly. "I'm not exactly graceful. Wanna rethink spending a year with me and noxious chemicals?"
No.
I laughed lightly and went to hand her the pencil as she reached toward me for it at the same time and she grabbed my hand.
I wanted to pull it away, I knew I should have, but the warmth of her hand felt so good against my skin and I loitered on it a second too long.
"I think you have poor circulation, Cullen. You ought to have Doctor Daddy take a look at that." As I registered what she was doing, I couldn't fathom that it was happening and was rendered powerless to stop her. She pulled my hand between hers and lowered her mouth to it, huffing hot air onto my palm and as she sandwiched it between her hands and rubbed a delicious friction into my skin, looking up at me from under a thick fringe of black eyelashes. The heat was incredible. She was unbelievable.
As quickly as she had taken it, she dropped it once more. "See ya out there, kid," she chucked me under the chin, and was gone.
I had a hard time remembering how to pick my jaw up from the floor.
