There had always been something different about Piper, Alex never really appreciated it until Piper was long gone. Their relationship had started out like all of Alex previous ones and even the few she managed to have after, it was all about sex. It was about who was on top and who got the other to scream the loudest.

And God was the sex with Piper amazing.

Maybe Alex was a little bias but there was something behind a woman's touch that a man could never even dream to mimic. Some part of Alex hoped that she had set the bar too high for any future female lovers to come into Piper's life, that in a way Piper had no choice but to be with Larry. There was something different in Piper touch. It was nothing Alex had experienced before.

Alex can remember the exact moment she realized how very different it was. It was the same moment she pulled her eyes off of the dark ceiling and found those beautiful blue eyes staring back at her. It was the first time she came looking into the eyes of someone she knew she loved and someone she knew had actually loved her back.


Alex sucked in air as her head fell back against the pillows. She shielded her eyes with the crook of her arm as she took deep relaxing breathes in a attempt to steady her overly pleasured body. Both of them were coated in a thin sheen of sweat but that didn't stop Piper from crawling up beside her and tucking her body against Alex's hips. Alex felt Piper's arm drape across her stomach, she knew the weight against her chest was Piper's head.

Alex's breathing steadied as she slowly came down from the height of pleasure. She felt Piper's fingertips tracing shapes around her belly button. The blanket and sheets were still pushed down below their knees but Alex enjoyed the cool air on her warm skin and she was pretty sure Piper did too.

Exhaustion began to take hold, Alex allowed her tired arm to drift off her face and fall along Piper's back.

Sensing the easing in Alex's body, Piper drew herself even closer, she lifted her head to Alex's ear.

"I love you." Piper whispered.

Piper's head didn't wait for a response. Instead she settled her head into the crook of Alex's neck. Alex felt Piper's eyelashes against her skin as Piper's eyes fluttered closed.

It had become a routine for them. Something inside of Alex kept her from muttering those three words and she felt a twinge of sadness at how familiar it had become to Piper. For a while Alex wasn't sure what she felt was love. It obviously wasn't at all about love at first but then it all changed.

It was about keeping Piper happy, it was only Piper she could think about when she was away on trips or even out for the night. It was because of Piper that she rejected the countless beautiful girls that seemed to be able to sense the size of Alex's ever-growing wallet. Alex never knew what all those things meant. She cared about Piper. She knew that at the least.

But she wasn't sure she knew what love was, how could she even say this is what it is?

But then it hit her and it makes her feel like a dumb asshole for not realizing it sooner. She would go to the ends of the earth for Piper and the whole reason for her career in drug smuggling, her whole reason for all of these shady dealings and terrifying exchanges is so she could be able to afford to love a girl like this. It was just to get the attention of a girl as beautiful as Piper.

"I love you too." Alex lets out in a shaky breath.

Piper's head is up in an instead. Alex keeps her eyes fixated on the reflection of the moon against the otherwise dark wall. Alex considers herself a fearless person but for some reason Piper can turn her into an absolute coward in a manner of seconds. She knows meeting those blue eyes is finalizing those words and leading up to an even bigger promise. A promise she doesn't know if she's ready to keep.

But she wants to so badly.

Slowly she shifted her glaze until she's locked on to those wide blue eyes. In the glint of the moonlight poking through the curtains she can see the liquid welling up there. Piper had always been the sappy one.

Then Alex blinks and feels the wetness fall down her cheek.

"Fuck." She tries to hide her face and the tears that Piper has so obviously already seen.

Piper grabs her wrist to stop her and instead she leans in and plants a wet kiss to Alex's mouth, and then one to her neck, another to her stomach, her kisses trail lower and lower until Alex's was grabbing fistfuls of sheets.


It stopped being about power, she stopping being concerned with who could make the other reach climax the fastest, instead it turned into something slow and precise. Alex had never made love in that way before. Well if she's being honest, she's pretty sure she never made love before Piper.

It's really amazing how quickly everything can change. How she could go from making love in her silk sheets with candles burning on the mantel of her fireplace to prepping all her black clothing for her mother's funeral and packing what was left of Piper's things into a box, and crying like a little girl. She had thought that had been her lowest point but now here she is, staring at what the prison would like to call a stained glass window with a former drug addict who hasn't seen a hair brush in years between her legs.

Alex keeps her eyes fixed on the afternoon sun coming through the shitty windows. Nicky knows the drill. Alex knows she won't look up, she won't try to kiss her or hold her, Nicky knows that this is about getting off. It's about feeling good for that split second when all the muscles in your legs tighten and your entire body jerks. At least for the tiny moment she can be free. Free from this prison. And she thought she could be free from Piper.

But even now she's all she can think about.

Not much has changed from the second Piper left until now. If Alex believed in that shit Pennsyltucky preached about she'd almost call it fate. Though she's sure the fucker calling the shots really doesn't have her best interests in mind.

He never fucking did.

There's a flick of Nicky's tongue and Alex feels her body tensing tighter before she can even realize it's happening. She can't contain the cry that escapes her lips, Nicky grips Alex's thighs to push her as far open as her muscles will allow before she dips her head in deeper. It's messy, it always is with Nicky, Alex can feel her inner thighs coating with slobber and sweat and the grunting sounds coming from Nicky makes Alex feel like there's a dog going down on her.

It was never that way with Piper.

Piper's hands were soft. She didn't grab or pull, she caressed, she touched, she eased, she kissed. It seemed like Piper knew where to touch Alex before Alex's body knew it even wanted to be touched there. It was obvious that Alex wasn't the first girl Piper had been with but the jealous part of her couldn't even bring herself to care, not with the way she worked those fingers inside her. Not with the way she knew to curve her fingers just a little bit.

There's another grunt and Alex feels all of the muscles in her body tensing, her back arches without her permission and Nicky takes the opportunity to push even further. Nicky's nails dig deeper into Alex's flesh. It never hurt like this with Piper, but Alex is almost happy that it does, because this isn't Piper, because she'll probably never have her Piper again, Piper died in the SHU, she probably died long before that outside in the cold with Pennsyltucky when she was fighting for her life, all alone and no one was there to protect her.

If Alex wasn't so close, if thoughts of blonde hair and blue eyes weren't filling her mind, the gurgling sounds Nicky was currently making would probably turn her off but instead her back arches further and further back as she climbs higher and higher until she can't take it anymore. Her entire body convulses, Nicky doesn't adjusts her speed in reaction to Alex's body, she never does. It's always full or no throttle with Nicky. She's as loyal as a dog and as dumb as one sometimes. Alex body collapses and it takes her a second before she has the strength again to push Nicky away from her. It takes another second before Nicky gets the hint and lies back on her knees.

Alex can feels Nicky's eyes studying her. She always does this, Alex assumes she loves to watch her own handywork and feels proud at what she did. It doesn't help with the whole dog analogy Alex has build up in her own mind.

Nicky rises to her feet and grabs Alex's clothing from its pile underneath the window. Alex takes it from her without a word and slides her panties on before she stands up to cover her cold legs.

Alex catches Nicky wiping her sleeve across her mouth. Alex can tell by the smile on her face that she's particularly proud of herself today.

"Have you spoken to Chapman yet?" Nicky asks.

Maybe in Nicky's world it's not bizarre to mention the name of an ex-girlfriend the second after going down on the girl, but in Alex's she thinks it might be a tad too soon. She pauses with her pants halfway up her leg, she turns her back to Nicky before she pulls them up all the way. She takes a second to process even the mention of Piper's name before she can even attempt to shake her head no.

"Did you?" Alex manages to choke out a second later.

Even with her back turned she can feel Nicky's eyes studying her.

"Nope." Nicky responds.

Alex still has her back to Nicky when she starts to put her socks on.

"She just looked so mean this morning." Nicky says.

Alex remembers breakfast this morning when Piper was marching down the rows of tables. She had walked right by her usual seat next to Alex and Big Boo and the rest of them and instead picked the empty section of tables near the Golden Girls, essentially ostracizing herself and pissing off half the prison in the process. But what really struck Alex was the look in Piper's eyes the second she sat down. Alex saw something burning there, an anger, a rage that she had never seen inside of Piper before and if Alex was being honest, it kind of scared her.

"It just was so not-" Nicky began.

"Not Piper." Alex finished.

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