Healing a Soul
By Uniasus
Link
Allen had once compared him to another piece of furniture in the room. It made sense of a sort; he was always hovering in the background to the point where his black uniform blended into the wall even if his blonde hair didn't. After following Allen around for months now, he was as commonplace as the bed the teen slept on.
Personally, Howard didn't agree. Furniture, while something you grew accustomed to and an item that didn't respond to much, was at least used. Chairs were sat on, beds slept in, and desks written on. Howard didn't serve any purpose at all. He was more like a forgotten stuffed animal on the highest shelf of a kid's bedroom.
Lvellier had a use for him, tracking Allen's actions to make sure the young exorcist wouldn't do anything to betray the Order. But it was essentially a useless task. In the seven months Howard had been following Allen the teen hadn't shown any such actions. And now, for some reason, Allen and the Musician were separated. There was no real reason to watch over the white haired exorcist.
Not that Howard didn't still want to watch over his fellow teen. Allen had shown a slow slide into depression. He glared at mirrors with empty resignation when he had to use them, like brushing his teeth in the communal bathroom, but in other cases he had stopped. As a result, Allen wasn't as immaculate as before. His tie was more off center than not, he sometimes missed a bit when washing his face, and his hair was rather frayed. Though that could be blamed on Timcampy's new nighttime habit of chewing it.
The exorcist was also all around gloomy, spending time staring out windows while humming and torturing Tim. He also listened a lot to General Cross's golem message, though Howard didn't know the teen's thoughts on it. Allen never talked about those out loud. They weren't happy though, that's for sure.
Howard had been so pleased when Allen had mentioned Mana in his presence after the episode with Timothy. Due to all their time together he had come to like Allen, the teen who despite having gone through a lot of trauma could still smile. An exorcist who cared for the akuma he killed just as equally as the friends he fought along side. A person whose past he could relate to.
He liked to call Allen his friend, deep in the recesses of his mind where his orders and commitment to them weren't in control. But that was a dangerous thought and so Howard didn't act on it. In fact he purposely acted cold to keep up the watchdog persona and prevent it from slipping. He didn't ask about Allen's welfare or try to engage him in conversation.
When Allen had been taken by the Noah, his heart ached on behalf of the exorcist. Hadn't he been through enough? But it also ached with Howard's own pain. He hadn't been able to help Allen, that was all Kanda, and he desperately wanted to be of some type of service. He wanted to help his friend, though now that he thought about it, he wasn't too sure if Allen thought of him as the same.
"What do you think of me?" he blurted out.
Allen, who had been helping with paperwork across the table from Howard, paused and blinked at him at the sound of the question. There was still a bandage around his head, but it didn't help him forget Allen was lacking his left ear.
"Sorry?"
"What's your opinion of me?"
"Well, you like sweets far more than anyone should," the white haired teen shrugged. "You're loyal, work hard, good to have by my side in a fight. Why?"
Howard hmmed and turned his attention back to the work in front of him, not answering Allen's question and partially pleased by the answer. But it had been lacking anything referring to friendship.
Two days later Yu Kanda pulled him aside on his way to the bathroom to get ready in the morning.
"How's….how's Walker doing?" he asked, as if he had never asked a similar question before. Actually, he probably hadn't.
"Fine." Howard made to move around the Japanese man but Kanda moved with him.
"Don't give me that bullshit surface level stuff. How is he doing, really?"
Howard didn't know if it was the fact that Kanda didn't call Allen or himself by a nickname, the fact that he asked twice, or the slightly out of place look in his eyes, but he could tell Kanda was serious.
"I don't know."
"Bullshit, you're his friend, aren't you?"
Hope's wings fluttered in his heart and then snapped as he realized the unlikeliness of that. He shook his head. "No, just his watcher."
"You do realize that he lets you push his wheelchair, right?"
Howard nodded.
"He doesn't let me do that. Or the rabbit or Lenalee."
"So?"
"He also smiles at you."
"Walker smiles at everyone."
"But not all the ones he gives you are fake."
Something in Howard relaxed. "You've noticed those too?"
Kanda gave his characteristic 'che'. "Yes, I've noticed. It's kinda fucking hard not to."
"For you maybe, others miss it."
"True." Kanda crossed his arms and than steered the conversation back. "He sees you as a friend, allows you to help with things the most. You may not think so, but I think you're the closest one of all of us to Walker right now."
Howard opened his mouth to protest. "He talked to you earlier this week. He wouldn't talk me." And Allen seemed happier this week, despite his run-in with the 14th. It was all due to Kanda.
"I asked him to talk to me. Did you ask?"
"No."
"Che, Walker's not one for asking for helping. But if it's offered, he usually won't turn it down. And let me tell you a little secret," Kanda uncrossed his arms and leaned forward a bit. Howard found himself leaning forward too as a result. "Walker can't afford to turn it down."
The exorcist pulled back and Howard frowned, questions developing in his head.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
Kanda however just walked away, leaving Howard to reanalyze every interaction he had with Allen in the past week. Maybe the Japanese was right. And he didn't have to ask Allen soul-searching questions just yet. A simple 'how are you doing today' would suffice. He never asked it before, not wanting to appear soft and give Lvellier the impression he was fond of Allen. But behind close doors, how was he to know? Lvellier's information on Allen all came through Howard, and if it wasn't important to his mission there was no reason for the Central agent to know.
Allen needed a friend, it would save him from the cloud of depression he was in more often than not and help save Timcampy. It might also save him, as there was no one else at Headquarters who might see Howard as a friend.
He turned on his heel and went to find his charge.
A/N: This chapter was supposed to be Lavi, but then Link was like 'um, no, I don't think so' and Kanda was like 'let him go so I don't have to do something embarrassing so soon'. So yes, here is Link's part. I don't actually know how long Link has been following Allen, I just kinda threw seven months out there. Estimating by seasons is kinda hard when the characters don't stay in one place all the time :/ But I wanna say the Ark arc was in the spring, and then we jump to December so~.
But the bottom line is, I do really think that Link is the closest friend to Allen at the later part of the series. For awhile he was the only one (besides Lavi) who knew everything, as Allen kept quite, and I'm pretty sure even after everyone found out he's the 14th only Link has seen him brooding and thus he know intimate things about Allen the exorcist hasn't shared with anyone else. Even if he was just talking to the furniture in the room ^_~
