Part II of "A Heated Rain" I do not own the movie April Snow.
Part II: Testing Limits to a Conclusion
"Hey Sokka." Katara's voice sounded a bit pained and her brother didn't blame her. It had been two weeks since the accident and she was finally back in Ba Sing Se. Gently, he wound an arm around his sister and led her out of the hospital.
"How are you?" He asked softly as they got in his car to go home.
"Fine, I guess." Sokka wanted to pressure her into talking but sighed letting it go for now. She needed to tell him some things on her own and while he didn't like it, he'd respect her reasons for doing so.
The day after the mud balls incident Zuko had found out that Mai was ready to move to the Ba Sing Se hospital. Her condition was stable enough for transfer but she had yet to wake from her coma. Katara had spent that evening getting dinner with Zuko and walking around town with him. Before he left, he had pressed a sheet of paper into her hands.
"My number." He told her. "In case you ever want to meet up in Ba Sing Se."
Now, as Katara looked out at the streets of the city she lived in she wondered if it was the right thing to do. With Zuko, she had found a connection- they were both caught in the awkward dance between friends and victims and they both shared a sense of catharsis with the other. It had felt so odd when he left. There was no one to talk to and all the nurses gave her pitying glances. It hurt and she felt so alone in Omashu. It was why she didn't hesitate to leave as soon as the opportunity came. Jet needed the better medical help in Ba Sing Se and she needed the companionship in the city.
"We're at your place. Suki and I have been dropping by to check it and all."
Katara nodded walking out of her brother's car and taking his help in carrying her bags to her second floor apartment. She opened the door and smiled relieved; she was home. Her brother placed her bags in her room and she gave him a grateful smile before taking a seat on a kitchen chair. He squatted down in front of her and touched her knee softly.
"You okay Katara? Cause we're all here for you. If you want to talk-" Katara nodded biting her lip and trying desperately to blink back the tears in her eyes. They didn't escape Sokka's notice and he gently pulled her close in a hug asking her what was wrong.
"He was cheating on me Sokka."
The dam of tears that Katara had been trying to contain broke loose. She'd long since gotten over the fact that he had cheated but her heart and mind still had trouble coping with the betrayal. It felt like it did all those days ago when she had finally found that sense of grounding in the task of throwing mud balls. Here, sitting in her apartment, with her brother she was able to finally cry and tell someone what she felt. All those days of pent up tears, frustration, and anger had finally found an outlet.
"Why did he do it Sokka? What the hell made him think it was okay to leave his pregnant wife behind? I should have known when he asked to go to Omashu. I should have known."
Sokka didn't know what to say or do as he held his sister. Part of him- no all of him- wanted to find Jet and pummel him for breaking her heart. But right now, Jet was in the hospital and for once Sokka thought that was what he deserved. He forced a deep breath as he pulled away to look at his sister. She was strong, strong enough to have holed in and kept this to herself for two weeks. How long had she suffered he wondered?
"Katara, look at me." She did and he cradled her face leaning forward and giving her a kiss on the brow. "I'm going to go get Suki. No, don't look at me like that. Right now, you need both of us and we'll help you until you can get back on your feet okay?" Katara wanted to refuse but knew she needed the help so she agreed. As Sokka walked out of her home, she wondered if this was the final piece she was waiting for to pick up and move on.
"Katara!"
The voice startled the woman who had been sitting in her kitchen. She had left to make tea and then collapsed into the same seat Sokka had left her in. She looked up at her sister-in law who was looking at her with a mixture of concern and happiness. Standing up, she smiled shakily at Suki and waved at the two toddlers who had attached themselves to their mother's legs.
"Hi Suki, Koda, Hasaki."
"Aunty!" The twins, who apparently took her greeting as a sign that they could play with her, ran up to her and all but dragged her to the living room. Suki looked on fondly as she shook her head.
"Behave you two! Remember Aunty has a little baby in her tummy right now." The kids chorused an odd combination of affirmative responses and Suki disappeared into the kitchen to get started on dinner. She had heard the news from Sokka and it had left her feeling angry and hurt that Katara hadn't confided in them for a while. But she knew the woman had her own way of dealing with things and so she let it slide. She'd be there for Katara now, as and when she needed the help or a friend.
As she busied herself with making dinner, Suki heard the front door open and Sokka come in. Soon, it sounded like normal. Katara playing with the kids, Sokka complaining about dinner and trying to read the newspaper instead of being roped into a game, and she making dinner. When she brought dinner to the table a while later she had to smile at the happiness on Katara's face. It wasn't back completely and wouldn't be for a while but it was there and that was enough for now.
The next day Katara ran into Zuko again. She supposed it shouldn't have been surprising- both Mai and Jet were in comas and the best neurological hospital in the Earth Kingdom was in the first tier of Ba Sing Se. She was walking towards Jet's room when she saw him and without thinking she'd called his name. He turned and saw her, waving slightly to beckon her to where he was. Cautiously Katara approached him. He looked different today, but she supposed that it was because he'd probably just come from work.
"Hey, how are you?" He asked when she came to his side.
"Good." Zuko glanced at her, taking in the differences in her appearance. She seemed happier and he wondered why that was. Shaking off those thoughts, he realized what her being in Ba Sing Se meant.
"When did Jet get transferred?" He asked moving to the side to let nurses pass him by.
"Yesterday. I just wanted to see his new room." She idly played with her skirt before continuing. "I didn't mean to run into you here."
"Ah, me either." He sighed and then gestured to the hallway behind them. "What room is Jet in? I'm headed to room 215."
"Two twenty three." She answered walking with him. They reached Mai's room first and she awkwardly turned to Zuko. "I guess this is where we say good bye?"
"I- Katara." Zuko hesitated before pushing open the door to Mai's room. "Do you want to get lunch after this? Er-that is if you haven't had lunch already?"
"I'd like that Zuko."
Before Katara knew it, she found herself eating lunch with Zuko on a regular basis. It wasn't uncommon for her to run into him on Mondays and Thursdays and meet him for lunch at the café across from the hospital. She was able to enjoy her time with him and looked forward to those biweekly meetings as much as she did times spent with her friends. And so, when Zuko invited her to his place for dinner one Saturday, she was wary but didn't think twice about agreeing.
She should have been surprised but she wasn't. It had been two months since the accident and wasn't she allowed some happiness in her life? And she was going to be careful with Zuko. She knew better than to become like Jet. And Zuko knew better too. They both weren't going to do something that reflected the infidelity of their partners.
"Look Katara." Her friend Aang stated as she sat down for dinner at his place the day before she was to meet Zuko. "Toph and I are glad that you found Zuko to spill your feelings to but are you sure this is the right thing?"
"Aang, I know what I'm doing. We're just friends, Zuko and I."
Part of her knew that over the two months she had been meeting Zuko they'd become closer. They weren't best friends but they were friends, friends who both understood the other's situation. Why couldn't everyone see that? She was going to be careful- she promised. And if Zuko and her did begin seeing each other as more than friends was it really a problem? Her marriage with Jet was already in shambles anyway, so it wasn't as if anything else could go wrong.
"Look Katara, I don't get why you can't talk with me, or Toph, or Suki, or Sokka about this. I mean, we're your friends too right?"
"You just don't get it Aang!" She snapped her anger getting the best of her.
"Oh and Zuko does?" Toph asked coming in from the living room. Frustrated from the questions that kept coming her away, Katara lost her temper.
"Yes, damn it. You don't understand what it's like to find out your husband is in the hospital and for your worries to be lost when you find out he's a cheater." She bit her lip as the words flew from her mouth and took a few steps back slowly.
"Oh, oh god. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Hey, it's okay." Aang stated placing a hand on her shoulder. "Really Katara, no one's angry at you or anything so please stop? Come on, we can't have the baby crying too right?" Katara smiled, stifling a giggle through her tears.
"You're right. I'm sorry though Aang, I didn't mean-"
"Hey, Katara. Stop with the blubbering. Let's sit down to dinner okay? It's the one night a week that my boyfriend lets me eat meat. Come on!" Toph rolled her eyes at the woman and Katara smiled as the younger woman dragged her to sit down. It was rare that she got to spend such quality time with Toph and Aang.
"All right Toph, let's sit down."
As she left her friend's place a few hours later, Katara couldn't help but reflect on Aang's words. They scared her and she wasn't sure if she wanted to confront her feelings on the subject yet. She stayed up lost in her thoughts and finally succumbed to sleep when her body demanded the rest.
The next day, Katara busied herself getting ready for dinner at Zuko's. She'd been accidentally put in charge of taking care of Hasaki and Sukoda for the day and as a result was tired from trying to chase two toddlers for the better part of the day. Luckily, Aang had stopped by and helped her out, he'd apparently been kicked out of the apartment by Toph as the girl did some cleaning. Now, as she braided her hair she wondered if it was okay to go to Zuko's by herself. Was it okay for the two of them to be alone?
Katara felt guilty because she'd finally realized what Aang had meant and that was enough to shock her. She and Zuko had been edging closer to a more physical relationship. She wondered if it was okay for them to do this. She liked Zuko, but he was just going to be a friend. She wouldn't hide the fact that she was going to try to move on after Jet. To be honest, she wanted her child to grow up with a father figure beyond Aang and Sokka. But she wasn't going to do so now. She wasn't so cruel as to start an affair with someone when her husband was in the hospital and unable to explain himself.
"Katara?" Aang showed up at the door and she smiled as she stood up from the dresser. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah, thanks for giving me a ride again."
"It's not a problem." Aang stated following her out of the apartment. "And who's dropping you back?"
"Zuko." Katara stated following him to his car. It was only when they were on the road that she spoke again.
"Hey Aang, you kind of had some truths to what you spoke last night. I've decided, I'm going to talk with Zuko." Her friend glanced at her quickly in question before he continued driving. Feeling a little bolder, Katara continued.
"I won't lie, I like him- he's nice. I just- I promise not to do anything till I'm officially divorced though." She stated playing with her fingers.
It was still hard to make that decision because she wasn't over Jet. His shadow still hung over her and any relationship she would ever take. It just wasn't right to start something when he was still in a coma. She knew that their relationship was never going to be the same- she and Jet were broken for good now. However, she didn't want to be like him- she didn't want to be a cheater. Katara had always prided herself on making the right decision and she wasn't going to stop now.
"Hey, Katara." She turned to look at Aang who pointed to the rather swanky apartment building. He placed a hand on her arm and gave her a reassuring smile. "Whatever happens, we'll be here for you all right? Just make sure you let us meet this Zuko at least once?" Katara laughed before she gave Aang's hand a pat.
"Of course I will Aang."
When Katara knocked on Zuko's door she was a little apprehensive. By the time he opened the door she was debating the merits of cancelling on him due to a last minute emergency. All those thoughts flew from her head when he beckoned her inside with a pull of the hand.
Zuko's apartment, well the apartment he shared with his wife, was simple. Leather furniture and glass tables polished off a sleek smooth finish that reminded her of the rooms from interior design magazines. She was led to a beautiful kitchen and watched as he busied himself with the stove. He instructed her to take a seat at the nearby dining table and she did so feeling oddly out of place in a setting such as this. Turning her attention back to Zuko she had to stifle a sigh at the sight of his apron-clad back hunched by the stove cooking something that smelled delicious.
Katara had to admit that there was something about seeing a man cook. It probably also had something to do with her pregnant status and her hormones but she was pushing that thought to the side now. She had always thought about Jet that way too whenever he decided to cook for her. As though Zuko noticed her perusal, he turned his head, looking at her over his shoulder.
"Like what you see Katara?" Zuko had to admit that seeing Katara comfortable in his house made him happy. He knew he shouldn't be too happy- it was Katara- and both he and her were still with their respective spouses. Still, cooking for her made him happy. He chose to think later about why cooking for her made him happy. Right now, he'd enjoy her presence as a friend.
"I'm just curious." Katara answered trying to downplay her blush. "What are you making by the way?"
"Pad Thai- you're not allergic to anything are you?" Katara made a face. Pad Thai had shrimp and any kind of sea food was just not her cup of tea at the moment.
"Can you not put shrimp in mine?" She asked carefully. "This little one doesn't like his mother's traditional cooking right now." Zuko smiled nodding as he continued cooking. He remembered Katara telling him she was from a sea-side town in the South, by Water Country. She was an expert in seafood apparently and promised to make him some one day.
"No problem." He busied himself with the cooking and Katara stood feeling utterly bored and restless, she was a mother hen type personality after all. She carefully edged her way towards him and when she was next to him, he turned to her with a grin.
"Do you mind setting the table? Plates are in that cupboard to your right." Glad to finally have something to do, she eagerly set about finishing her task. Zuko joined her moments later with the steaming hot dinner and a short while after the two dug in.
"This is amazing!" Katara exclaimed for the fifth time eagerly helping herself to more of the noodle dish. "I'm sorry, I don't generally eat this much- I've just been extra hungry lately."
"And I don't blame you for it." Zuko announced getting up and brining out dessert. Katara had recently admitted that chocolate was quickly becoming her vice- she had found herself unable to resist the sweet when pregnant. Fully capitalizing on that he had gotten them some chocolate ice cream to accompany the dinner.
"Is that chocolate?" Katara asked eyeing the dessert. Zuko only grinned cheekily and she laughed as he gave her her share.
"I need to make an extravagant meal for you next time we decide to do this. Remind me what all your favorite ingredients are by the time I leave today."
"Of course Katara, of course."
Two hours later, Katara found herself laying back on Zuko's bed as he kissed her senseless. They'd ended up here a few minutes ago after their make out session in the living room had turned a bit more risqué. She wasn't sure when or why it happened exactly, one moment she was distinctly aware of Zuko's weight by her side as they saw a movie and the next she was kissing him.
"Are you sure?" The words came out with a growl as Zuko's grip on her hip eased and he move his lips down her face not stopping utill he reached the hollow of her throat. "Can we do this?" He asked referring to her pregnant status and the friendship that they shared.
"Yes, now shut up and kiss me Zuko. It's normal for pregnant women to be horny." Katara chose to ignore the other meaning behind his words. For one night, she wanted to forget Jet and Zuko was giving her the opportunity to do so.
Katara's statement was obviously news to Zuko since his eyes widened and he looked away embarrassingly at Katara's word choice. Nonetheless, when she hastily tugged at his shirt he complied, helping her unbutton it. Finally, he slipped it off his shoulders and was back to kissing her lips as he undid the zipper on the back of her dress. A low throaty moan ripped from Katara's mouth and Zuko couldn't help but think it was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard. He had her bra undone within seconds and moments later, her torso was bared for him.
Katara felt self-conscious and held her arms in front of her trying to protect herself from his gaze. She knew it was odd at the moment but the physical changes her body underwent during pregnancy still made her feel a little conscious of her increased weight. Zuko eased her arms down and gently leaned down until he was kissing her softly, much more gently than he had moments earlier. Slowly, she relaxed and he shifted so that he was lying next to her before he kissed his way down to her left breast. He swirled his tongue around it paying gentle attention to the nipple with his teeth. A sudden hiss sounded and he pulled back as though scalded touching her face softly. He would stop if she wanted but damn, she was here in front of him and he was selfishly going to take what she gave. Still, he needed to know if she had changed her mind.
"Katara, what's wrong?" She let out an embarrassed smile, afraid that she had ruined the moment.
"They're just sore. It's normal but um-" She trailed off and Zuko let out a lazy grin before apologizing and instead laying a gentle kiss on both breasts. His lips began to move down and when he reached the barrier at her hips- her dress still on her- he paused.
"Are you sure you want me to?" His eyes were darkened with desire and so were hers. She thought about what it meant to go forward and decided that in this moment she could care less because she wanted to be with Zuko. As she opened her mouth to speak, a door opened and a voice sounded in the entryway of his apartment.
"Zuko?" His Uncle's voice called out. "Where are you boy? Did you forget we were supposed to get tea today?"
Zuko silently cursed the day that he decided to give his uncle a spare key to his place. When he glanced back down at Katara, he noticed her wide eyes. He didn't want it to be like this, the bond he shared with her was something special and he'd just gone and screwed it up hadn't he. Memories and feelings came back to the surface. He was doing what Mai had done and the thought sickened him. Hearing his uncle's voice again, he yelled out an affirmative response before getting dressed and making his way to the door of his bedroom. He was disgusted himself and he was sure Katara was too.
Before he could leave however, he turned to take one last look at her hoping that his expression conveyed the apology he couldn't place into words. He found Katara hiding in the sheets her eyes teary. He didn't have to guess why they were there and wanted to redo the events of the last hour because really it wasn't fucking fair to either of them that this had happened.
"I'm sorry." He whispered knowing that the words hardly were enough. Turning back, he shut the door behind him and greeted his uncle before leading him out the apartment. It was only after he was downstairs in the lobby that he realized some fake excuse was needed to have Katara be able to leave the apartment. Murmuring something about forgetting his wallet, he turned to make his way back up.
"Zuko," Iroh stated softly, "remember Mai is still your wife."
The words haunted Zuko as he walked to his apartment and when he opened the door, he wasn't too surprised to see his living room as dark and empty as he had left it. Turning off the television, he walked towards his bedroom and knocked twice on the door waiting for it to open. Katara opened it her feet shuffling as she looked down at the floor and not at him. The thought made Zuko cringe and he silently wondered if he could ever fix the events that had gone wrong. Instead, for now at least, he chose to give her the space she needed and moved aside.
She grabbed her coat and purse from the living room, shuffling into her shoes and following him out the door. He was glad that his uncle hadn't noticed her belongings on the sofa. Or maybe he had and that was the reason for his cryptic message downstairs? When they reached the elevator at the end of the hall, he turned to her wanting to at least say goodbye when she beat him to it.
"I think we should stop seeing each other Zuko." His fists clenched but he let out a sigh and nodded not trusting himself enough to speak. "You go first; I'll follow you when the elevator comes back up." He looked at her and sighed reaching forward to see her eyes one last time. He wasn't going to let them part like this- not with this hanging over their heads.
"Go Zuko please. Just go." Pulling his hand away at her tearful words, Zuko gave another nod and stepped into the elevator when it arrived. He looked up at Katara as he entered and with a grim expression met her eyes for what he hoped wasn't the last time.
"Bye Katara."
When Katara made her way downstairs, she ignored the looks she was receiving at her teary state. Flagging a taxi, she rattled off directions and sobbed in the corner as the taxi hurtled from the first tier to the second and slowly came up to a stop by a row of apartment buildings. They weren't shabby, they were middle class and comfortable and it was only when the cab driver announced that they had arrived that she looked up at the building.
"This is the wrong place." She stated looking at the building where Aang and Toph lived.
"Look missy, this is the address you told me." The cab driver looked at her closely and then let out a sigh. "You want me to take you somewhere else?"
"No, I- thank you." Wiping a few tears from her face, she paid the driver her fare and made her way to her friends' apartment. Aang opened it and the moment he did his worry was etched clear on his face.
"Katara, are you okay?"
The tears flew down her face now and Katara didn't stop them. She was disappointed in herself and ashamed of herself. Aang led her inside and Toph seeming to understand that Katara needed to talk to a female pushed her boyfriend out of the room. Katara cried as Toph held her not asking any questions but silently trying to piece together a puzzle.
She felt dirty. She was nothing more than what Jet was, a lying no-good cheater. She should have listened to Aang, she should have said no to Zuko. Instead, she had become the very thing she had accused her husband of.
"Katara?" Toph asked softly when her crying started to subside. "What happened with Zuko? He didn't hurt you did he?" Katara vehemently shook her head and instead looked towards the bathroom.
"Can I take a shower Toph? Please, I just feel so dirty." Her friend must have sensed something in her voice because she narrowed her eyes thoughtfully and looked as if she wanted to say something. Instead, she merely nodded leading her friend to the room.
"I'll hop inside and leave you some clothes."
Katara felt the hot spray on her body as she tugged her arms close around herself. Her back hurt, her eyes were swollen, and her heart- her heart felt like it was breaking. She realized today that after two months of trying to come to terms with Jet she'd tried to find some way to move on. And in doing so, she had torn apart the very fabric of the only friendship that might have helped her come to grips with the situation. The thought made her angry and ashamed but more so than that it made her want to cry. Her marriage with Jet had been torn apart and was no longer there but she had no right to go seek solace, comfort, anything but friendship in another man before he had the chance to explain himself.
The spray began to chill her and slowly Katara turned before grabbing the soap next to her. Hastily she scrubbed at her body trying to rid herself of Zuko's touch. She shouldn't have done anything with him in the first place and she wanted all evidence of what might have happened off. After the pain on her chest indicated that she had scrubbed enough she turned the shower off and grabbed the nearest towel wrapping herself in the cloth and drying off.
The bathroom mirror reflected a different Katara than the one that had left earlier today. This Katara had eyes that were red with tears and a body that she felt a little disgusted in. Turning her back on the image, she silently wore the clothes laid out for her by Toph. She hadn't heard her enter the bathroom because she was lost in her thoughts. Donning the sweatpants and overly large shirt- how had Toph known what she wanted to wear- she stepped out of the bathroom and padded softly into the living room.
"You want to talk?" Toph asked patting the seat next to her on the couch. Aang silently stood and made his way to the kitchen. Katara was silently grateful for that as she took the indicated seat.
"I nearly slept with him." She began needing to get this out before she stopped. "We both stopped because his uncle came by but if he hadn't-"
"You and Jet are no longer together. Why should it matter?" Toph questioned letting Katara rest her head on her shoulder. "If you like Zuko, go for it. He's made you happy these past few months."
"But we still are together!" Katara exclaimed. "What I'm doing now, it's no better than what he did. I can't- I won't do anything until I have the divorce papers in my hand and I've heard Jet's answers."
Toph didn't say anything. Instead, she just offered her friend the comfort she could give. For Katara, that was more than enough.
Katara softly laid a hand on Jet's bedside before leaving a kiss on his forehead. It had been a week since that dinner with Zuko, a week since she had decided to become a dutiful wife to Jet again. She carefully stood and left the room she was in only to nearly bump into a doctor- Jet and Mai's doctor- on the way out. The doctor stopped and regarded her for a moment with a glimmer in his eye. Katara didn't know what it meant but she held her breath anyway.
"Has there been any change in your husband's condition?" She shook her head negatively and he sighed before that glimmer came back. "Well, he should be fine soon- Mrs. Azulon just woke up."
Katara's eyes widened as she watched the doctor walk away. Mai was awake- she was back. Did that mean Zuko and her were over for good? She belatedly wondered if she should give Zuko and Mai a congratulatory present. Was she allowed to? She and Mai weren't exactly on the best of terms after all. Looking back at Jet's closed door one last time she prayed that he didn't have to suffer anymore. Truthfully though, she had to admit, Jet's condition hadn't improved and being as well versed in medicine as she was she knew that it was only a matter of time before something happened. Pushing those morbid thoughts out of her head, she decided to head out of the hospital and go back home now that visiting hours were over.
That night she came back to the hospital in tears. She was vaguely aware of Sokka following her- he'd been the one to give her the ride to the hospital after all- and prayed that she wasn't too late. Her thoughts from earlier in the afternoon had been true. She pushed her way into the room Jet was in and collapsed by his bedside. The heart monitor nearby showed a flat line and the pain she felt from his death threatened to choke her. Her Jet was dead.
It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair that the man who she had spent years with, who she had started a family with, was dead. She wanted answers, she wanted his kind eyes looking at her again, she wanted his friendship. She wanted Jet alive. Her sobs were loud and made Sokka cringe as tears of his own leaked out.
For Sokka, Jet had become a brother. He knew he'd be devastated if it was Suki in this state. With a gentle arm, he pulled his sister away from the body as the nurses began to transport it to the morgue.
Katara turned into her brother's arms seeking the comfort that she desperately needed. She still loved Jet and that was why it felt like a piece of her heart had disappeared. It just wasn't fair! It wasn't fair that Zuko got Mai back and she had to lose Jet- the father of her child! Sokka squeezed her arm and she screamed into his shirt needing to release some tension. Understandingly, her brother took her and slowly led her out of the hospital.
He didn't say a word the ride home nor when Suki opened the door and took over comforting the crying Katara. Instead, he collapsed onto his own bed numb from the pain and anger he felt. His sister didn't deserve what was happening to her but he was going to be there to help her through it. He just needed some time to mourn on his own before he did so.
The next two days passed in a blur and Katara focused on Jet's funeral first. Sokka and Suki helped her arrange the preparations and that was really it. She merely signed where Aang told her to when it came to shifting Jet's body from the hospital to the morgue. She was numb from the stress and pain of the past few months and she just wanted a break from it all. She wanted someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay. She couldn't handle anything else in her life- it was just too much.
When Katara next saw Zuko, it had been ten days since the encounter at his apartment. She didn't say a word to him and instead kept her face impassive. She really didn't feel like doing anything anyway and had only noticed him because she recognized the familiar pattern of his scarf. She was garbed in the traditional Earth Kingdom white and watched him silently as he lit a stick of incense and said a few prayers for the deceased. After this, he carefully looked in Katara's direction mindful of Katara's family watching him.
"I'm sorry." He said faintly. "Let me know if there is anything I can do." She nodded too distraught with emotion to answer. Why did he have to show up? Why did he have to be so nice when he had no more reason to be? Blinking tears away, she bowed her head down again and busied herself with organizing the incense in front of her husband's picture. Understanding the dismissal, Zuko left with a heavy feeling in his heart. It was better this way, he reminded himself.
Zuko held out another spoon of food to Mai and she ate it quietly and obediently. It was a daily occurrence and had been for nearly a month. Ever since Mai woke up she had needed someone to care for her every need. Zuko had taken on that task simply because he was still her husband even if she wasn't the woman he loved- not anymore anyway. Mai had noticed his hollow and faraway look and had wondered often why it was there. It wasn't until last week when Zuko told her about the accident that she had realized. She wanted to ask about it over and over again but had never had the courage to do so. Today though, she wanted to ask him. He looked more despondent today, sadder even, and she knew that she was part of the cause.
"How long have you known?" Startled Zuko dropped the spoon that he was using for the soup. It clattered to the floor and he clumsily bent to pick it up and place it on the table when Mai stated her question again. Standing, this time with his back to her Zuko took a deep breath.
"The day of the accident. I found your phone." The memories of that night were still vivid in his mind and he tried not to think about them. It was still hard to even look at Mai, not to mention forgiving her.
"I- Zuko-" Mai trailed off not knowing what to say. She was normally quick to talk and rather succinct but it seemed that today she was at a loss for words. Slowly, she forced out the words that were on the forefront of her mind. "I love him Zuko. I'm sorry."
"Did you know he had a wife, a pregnant wife?" Zuko asked softly as he placed the now discarded soup and spoon on the table. Mai looked away from him and towards the lone window in the room. She knew her next words wouldn't be easy to digest- for him and for her. Nonetheless, they needed to be said.
"Yes."
Zuko turned to look at her and found himself fuming. He was angry, hurt, and wondered how it was possible to have married someone like Mai. He had seen Katara suffer so much because of this affair that they had. He had been there when she cried and when she promised to care of the baby in her. He had been there when she was performing the mourning ritual for Jet's funeral. It wasn't fair for Mai to take all of that and be so blasé. He knew he should control the words stewing in his mind but instead they rushed out in a torrent of anger.
"Your precious Jet is dead Mai. He died the day you woke up. And his wife is till pregnant and has no fucking idea what to say when that kid asks her who his father is."
Mai glanced at him, her eyes wide and her hands going up to her face in shock. It was rare for Mai to show emotion but when she did she was feeling particularly strong about the subject. Zuko saw the tears starting to pool in her eyes and it made him even angrier. She could cry about Jet, but his wife- the woman who he once loved and gave up his entire life for- she never cried for him. With a sad sigh, Zuko left the room just as the first of her sobs began. He didn't look back.
When he showed up at the hospital the next morning Mai glanced up at him but didn't say anything otherwise. Zuko expected it after the outburst the day before and instead of talking, set about arranging her breakfast on the tray. On it, he slipped the papers that he knew Mai was going to want sooner or later and placed it on her bed. He moved to pick up a spoon but she stopped him.
"Don't." Mai carefully fingered the forms on the tray and sighed. "So this is it then? No asking me if I want the divorce?" He cleared his throat and looked away towards the door that he desperately wanted to leave from.
"I think you made your feelings clear yesterday."
"I see." Mai moved her hands to the breakfast porridge and slowly spooned some into her mouth. After the first bite, she spoke again. "Will you keep visiting me?"
"Until you are allowed to leave the hospital, yes." His voice was deep and sounded hollow to Mai. She knew what had put it there and the guilt made her want to cry again. But she wasn't going to cry in front of Zuko and he knew that.
"Go Zuko. You and I both know that we need to part ways and that now is better than never." Zuko grimaced and held out a hand to his wife.
"Mai, can we at least talk? I- I just-"
"I'll have the papers ready tomorrow. We both know our marriage is dead now. Come tomorrow and we'll go over things." Zuko curled his hands and looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't. Instead, he nodded to his wife and walked out of the room.
The next morning Zuko walked into an empty room. There was a note on the bed that told him Mai would be back to discuss the divorce papers and pre-nuptial agreement when he returned. As he took his usual seat, Zuko wondered when his life had become so empty. Coming to the hospital, divorcing Mai, it all seemed too normal and it hurt. He'd gotten over the betrayal long ago but it still left him feeling hollow when he thought about signing the papers.
Normal people didn't go through divorces so methodically. They didn't discuss the papers in a hospital. He held his head in his hands as he thought about his life. Frankly put, it sucked right now and he wanted nothing more than an out. He looked at the papers on the bed again and picked them up. He could at least read them before Mai arrived.
"You're here." Mai's voice caused him to look up and he nodded to the nurse who was pushing her in the wheelchair. The nurse left and Mai stayed where she was not wanting to move. She motioned to the papers on the bed and Zuko held them out to her.
"I read them." Mai nodded unfurling the pre-nup that they had drafted years ago. "Why Omashu?"
"I need a new start Zuko. And Omashu has a lot of secretarial positions open in the city government. It's a nice clean start."
Zuko nodded not knowing what to say about the situation. They had bought the property- it was just that: a piece of land- ages ago on their honeymoon. It was in the city walls, not on the outskirts like the hospital. The vast transit network that Omashu was famous for ran right by it. It had been a worthy investment and he supposed he could give it to Mai. It wouldn't take long to get the pre-nup changed so that he received their apartment in Ba Sing Se and she got the house in Omashu.
"I see." He cleared his throat and looked to the papers again. "The rest of it?"
"What else is there? We had no kids and we didn't really have much to do concerning shared assets. I've signed the papers. All you have to do is sign them as well." Zuko looked at his wife- she still was his wife technically- and wondered how she was so calm about all this. But she wasn't – she was stiff and looking anywhere but at him. It hurt because he had known her for ages but he shook his head to clear it.
"All right. I'll sign the papers." He took the papers from her and walked to the door stopping before he opened it. "When you leave the hospital, where will you go?"
"I don't know yet. I think I'll ask Ty Lee if she could house me." He nodded because he didn't know what to do. Hesitating before he left- because he didn't want to have his last words with Mai to be like this- he turned to look at her one more time.
"Mai-I- I hope we can be friends one day." Mai turned so that she met his eyes. It wouldn't do to have these last few words come out without meaning.
"I do too Zuko."
Zuko gave her a nod in goodbye as he finally opened the door and left Mai's room. It felt surreal to know that a piece of life had suddenly broken away. He didn't know what to do now. The life he thought he knew had crumbled in front of his eyes and he needed something to keep him going. He couldn't even see Katara anymore- at least not now. He'd come to care for the young woman, possibly love her but they both weren't ready to move on. Not yet. With a heavy heart, he drove to his apartment and thought about the changes he wanted to make in his life.
Seven months later
A weary Zuko left the courtroom with a sigh. The months had helped him come to terms with who he was. Mai had made the final preparations to leave for Omashu and was leaving in two weeks. He had sold his apartment and moved into a new house in the second district. There, he was surrounded by his colleagues and he enjoyed it. The new house was still empty since he had only had a few belongings to fill the rooms. The new start had helped him some. It let him come to terms with things but it also explained other things to him.
"Zuko."
He turned to see Mai who stood off to the side with Ty Lee and his sister Azula. Azula didn't do more than spare him a glance, he was used to it however so he brushed it off. Ty Lee looked at him with a sad smile. She had been the first to know and had found it hard to side with her friend when she sympathized with Zuko. At Mai's nod, the other two left the court building to wait outside in the rain as Zuko approached Mai.
"What are you going to do?" She asked in her usual curt manner. Time hadn't helped mend their relationship to its original state but they were making progress.
"Go home, work, I don't know."
"Ah. I- you should go see her Zuko." Zuko's eyes shot up to Mai's and she smiled sadly as she reached up to trace a hand along his face. "I knew I lost you a long time ago. I'm just sorry you thought you couldn't love her."
And Zuko knew what she meant. He was in love with Katara, had been in love with Katara for a while. But he hadn't seen her- not since the funeral. He wondered about her often, what was she doing, how was the baby? And so he wasn't too surprised that Mai had noticed. But he still felt guilty. He hadn't divorced Mai yet. He was now a single man but Katara was a single mother. Would she want him in her life? The questions unnerved him and he was too scared to think of the answers.
"Go to her Zuko. It wasn't fair of me to keep a hold over you. And if she doesn't care for you, well she's a fool to not realize what she has." Zuko smiled at that. He and Mai had started mending the bridges and he was thankful that she cared enough to see him happy.
"You need to find happiness too Mai. I think Jet would have wanted that." Mai nodded and on impulse Zuko brought his arms around her. It felt right to do this, not as a lover, not as a husband, but as a friend, as someone who cared for Mai in his own way. He couldn't love her again- he had moved on- but he could be there for her.
"Thank you." Mai brought her arms around him once before letting go. "Good bye Zuko." He let go of Mai and stepped away looking at her one more time.
"Good bye Mai. Maybe I'll come visit you in Omashu."
"Maybe." Mai answered back. She gave him one last smile before she turned and left. As she did so, Zuko felt lighter, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. Perhaps it was because he and Mai knew where they stood now. Squaring his shoulders, he turned to look back at the courtroom and found his uncle waiting for him by the doors.
"Do you want to come over for dinner uncle?" He asked needing some company for a while.
"I would love to but I think you have someone to visit today."
"Uncle?" Zuko asked carefully wondering just how much his uncle had heard and what he knew. He loved his uncle but he was suddenly wary in his presence. His uncle would never respect him if he knew that he had fallen in love while married.
"Zuko," Iroh stated walking towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder, "whatever happened between you and Mai is the past. Sometimes you may never find the one to replace her but if you do, you are a stupid man to let her go."
"Uncle," Zuko began not knowing what else to say, "is it right?"
"It is only right if you pursue her when the time is right." His uncle looked at him with kind eyes and shook his head slowly.
Zuko was honorable and rules driven and Iroh knew the young man had been troubled over his predicament for the past year. However, he wasn't one to tell his nephew to shun happiness when he had found it. He was glad that Zuko had waited this long. It would have just caused more problems for everyone if he hadn't. Still, he hoped that Zuko wouldn't keep holding himself back due to some unknown guilt. Zuko seemed to still be thinking so his uncle decided to urge him again.
"Zuko- stop! If I had found another woman to love- I would never have let her go. Do not be foolish!"
"Do you think she'll take me uncle?" Zuko asked softly looking at the floor. Truthfully, his biggest fear was that Katara wouldn't care- that she would move away, that she would ignore him. He had been the one to instigate things that night and he wasn't too keen on finding out she still held that night over him.
"Go Zuko. You should always try."
On the other side of town, Katara fussed over a six-month old baby. Her son was fine when he wanted to be but on days that it rained he fussed and cried. She wondered if he realized it was rainy days that made Katara think of nights in Omashu and of Zuko. He must have sensed her distress. A dirty diaper was discarded and a fussing baby was picked up and cradled into warm arms. Smiling Katara walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa humming a soft song that she knew would quiet her little boy.
"Oh Jet, what's wrong?" She asked rubbing the baby's back in a comforting manner. "You're awfully fussy today." The baby settled down to her humming and back rub falling asleep and she let loose a breath of contentment when she heard her son's soft breathing. Now that he was set down for his nap, he wouldn't be up till dinner time and she could have a few minutes to herself.
She stood up and tucked her son into the crib before turning on the nearby baby monitor. The other end was soon grabbed and she headed to the kitchen to decide on her dinner plans for the day. The past seven months had helped her cope and move on. She would always have a special place in her life dedicated to Jet but she had fallen out of love with him. She didn't know if she had moved on but she knew that if something happened in the future she would only put her son's best interests in mind before doing anything. And Zuko- she wondered what was happening with him.
She had come to terms with the events of that night. Honestly, both she and Zuko were at fault equally. And it was better that it had stopped. She hadn't been ready- at least emotionally- for anything then. Now though, now she at least wanted to talk to Zuko. She wanted to ask him how he was, what he was doing, if he was all right. But he had Mai. And she didn't know what was going on in his life since neither of them had kept in contact. She just wanted to ask him if they could have the friendship they had before. They had been brought together through unfortunate circumstances but their friendship was important to her and she wanted to keep it that way.
Finding some noodles in the cupboard and seafood in the freezer she decided to hunt for vegetables to go with her dinner. As she did so, the doorbell rang. Whoever it was seemed quite adamant about getting into the house and she hurriedly crossed to the door intent on yelling at the person outside if Jet woke up. But she never got the chance to do so when she saw who was at the door.
"Katara." Zuko greeted when she opened the door. "How are you?" He had come here on a whim after hearing his uncle's words and he hoped that he wasn't too forward.
"Zuko, I- how are you?" Katara asked softly unable to believe it. Zuko had changed a little and yet not at all. He wore the same clothes, he had the same hairstyle, he was just as she remembered. But he was nervous and scared and she wondered why that was.
"Good. I- Can I come in?"
Katara moved away from the door, barely aware of what she was doing and let him into the apartment. Jet was still asleep and she hoped to keep it that way as she thought about all the reasons Zuko might be here. What had happened? Did he and Mai need to talk with her? Did she forget to pay any legal fees? Worried as she was, she still managed to ask him if he needed anything and sat down only when he assured her that he had something important to talk about with her.
"I divorced Mai today." The words came out easy but Zuko still grimaced at the feel of them. "It was a long time coming but it came and I just- I wanted to see a friend today. I know I stopped by unexpectedly but-" He trailed off, not knowing what to say and she only turned large eyes to him. Their last meeting was still vivid in her mind and she wondered if Zuko had come here for that.
"Zuko- I'm er- sorry about the divorce. But, are you sure you want to be here? I mean we've hardly seen each other." Katara busied her hands as she waited for his answer. Part of her hoped Jet would wake up so that she could keep herself busy and part of her hoped that he wouldn't so she could hear the answer. She was scared and she hadn't been this scared since Jet- her late husband- was in the hospital.
"I wanted to celebrate I guess. And I just- I wanted to be with a friend who understood." Katara grimaced through the pain his words put on her. She had accepted her loss but it didn't make it any less poignant. She wondered if he did understand her position. Did he have a fatherless child right now?
"Do you understand Zuko? Because if you do you wouldn't have shown up this way tonight. Now tell me, as much as it would please me if you showed up because we are friends, there has to be another reason for your visit. What is it?" She stood up now, wanting to put distance between herself and Zuko. Sitting so near him in the living room made her uneasy. If she didn't hear the answer she wanted she wanted him to be less likely to see her cry.
"Katara-" Zuko wondered what he should say.
Saying her name sounded hollow, it didn't do anything. Telling her the truth might put her in distress. But telling her a lie- it wouldn't do to build their relationship on that. So he decided to tell her the truth. He was tired of living in lies and hidden secrets. He just wanted her- Katara. He wanted to be able to tell her that he loved her and that he cared for her. He wanted to tell her he would hold her close for the rest of his days or as long as she let him. He didn't want to let her go.
"Katara," he began again his voice stronger this time, "I love you. I want you. I care for you. I would like to hold you and take care of you as long as I can. Will you let me?"
Katara opened her mouth in surprise as she collapsed against the kitchen table. She had done too much collapsing this year she decided. Her thoughts shook as she pieced together his words. He loved her, Zuko loved her. She wasn't going to let a comment like that slide. She and Zuko had been through enough to know that they wouldn't throw things like love around. They had both been through enough to know how much love could hurt and heal. Now she had to ask herself if she was ready to accept that love.
"I- I don't love you." The words were harsh and she shook her head to reword them in some way. "I don't know if I'm ready for what you want Zuko." She shyly peeked at him before she spoke again. "But I want to try- can I?" Zuko crossed the room in three strides and supported Katara.
"Are you sure?" He asked softly at the woman he was holding. She just nodded, averting her eyes to the ingredients on her counter. She didn't think she could look him in the eyes right now.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Zuko brushed away a stray piece of hair that had slipped from her messy bun and nodded letting her flee to the kitchen. He stood by the kitchen entrance watching her work. It was nice, relaxing, and she hadn't kicked him out yet.
Katara busied herself for twenty minutes not paying too much attention to what else was going on. The shrimp- thank god she'd bought it peeled- was cooked and the vegetables were simmering with them. She took the noodles off the stove and drained them before she added them to the dish. As she did so, a cry sounded in the apartment. Hissing, Katara placed the drained noodles off to the side and turned intent on getting Jet when she saw Zuko shuffling warily.
"Would you like me to get him?" She hesitated- this was Zuko after all and he had never met Jet. But she knew that it wouldn't do if her son couldn't like the man she was going to be with. She nodded, too unsure of her voice to speak, and turned back to the stove.
Katara didn't notice when Zuko and Jet arrived but she did hear her son's gurgle of happiness when he saw her face. She turned the stove off to let her dinner cool as she took Jet from Zuko. Jet was smiling and she wasn't too surprised when her son seemed just as energetic as he was when he went to bed. She tickled his nose playfully feeling Zuko's eyes trained on her. It unnerved her but she ignored it grateful that her son seemed to like Zuko.
"What is his name?" Zuko asked softly stepping a little closer to her.
"Jet." Katara answered back. "I just- I thought it would be nice if he knew who he was named after."
"I understand." And this time Katara knew that he did. He had been with her when she had found out about the affair and during the time that had followed. She relaxed finally in his presence suddenly feeling like it was normal to do this with Zuko. With a bout of sudden inspiration she handed Jet back to Zuko and served dinner. She felt at home.
Hours later, after Jet had been put to sleep, Katara found herself in bed with Zuko. She like his presence there even if it was for a different reason compared to that night months ago. Neither had changed from dinner and she liked the feel of his solid clothed arm across her waist. Shuffling, she moved until she was facing him pleased to see that he wasn't asleep either. No, a lot of things had happened today and both of them were too excited by it all to sleep anytime soon.
"Hey Zuko?" She asked softly tracing a pattern on his chest.
"Hm?" He asked catching her hand and stopping it.
"How long do you really want to stay?" Zuko ran his thumb over the hand that he held, creating soothing circles. He wondered how to answer her without scaring her. He had told her his intentions when he walked in but perhaps she needed clarification.
"Katara," he began moving so that he was propped on an elbow and staring down at her, "I'm here to stay forever. Is that okay?"
"Yes." Katara answered shuffling into his side. She stopped to look up at him again.
"Hey Zuko?" He answered her softly with a grunt wanting to sleep. She giggled at his childish antics but answered him. "I think I love you too." Satisfied, Katara molded herself into his hold once more. She didn't have to imagine the bright smile that took over Zuko's face. She knew it was there anyway.
And that ends "A Heated Rain." For clarification on the title: The rain was "heated" from the affair in Omashu, and it's a rainy summer night when Katara and Zuko meet again. Again, please let me know what you think. It's my first shot at anything angsty so I'd appreciate any and all feedback!
