CHAPTER 2

I was having a rather pleasant dream before the alarm clock rang that morning. I won't go into the details apart from that it included Asahina-san in that maid outfit of hers….again. I turned my head to the right expecting to see an alarm clock. I came face to face with wall. I guess I was still disoriented, I turned the other way, my vision was a mess, colours melted into each other, my head felt like it was being crushed between Bob Sapp's fists. That's the last time I eat left-over ramen for supper.

I squinted hard, the clock read 7:30 AM. That's weird. Usually my little sister wakes me up before then. I rolled onto my back, I closed my eyes hard, and reopened them, trying to wake myself up. Just another day…eh…wait, why was my ceiling black? And why were there glow in the dark stickers? My little sister must be trying to play another prank….I sat up, throwing off the covers. Odd. Last I remember, my blanket was dark blue, not sky blue.

"I'm still seven eights asleep." I reminded myself. Groaning I walked towards the general direction of where I remembered my toilet to be. No wait…that's the stairs…I turned 270 degrees shakily, and found the toilet, I staggered in, looked at the mirror. Blinked hard. And screamed.

The scream was high, and sounded rather familiar. Not because it was mine, but because I heard it everyday, and I'd learned to live in fear of it. It had been my signal to brace for disaster. I turned on the tap, hurriedly splashing cold water onto my face, drenching the loose billowy pajamas I was wearing. Slowly, fearing what I would see, I raised my head to look into the mirror. Sure enough, staring straight back at me, was the whackily whimsical ultra chief of the SOS Brigade, Haruhi Suzumiya. I'm still dreaming right? Yeah, a super realistic dream, where I can feel the cool of the water and the uncomfortable wetness of my…her shirt. Freud would have a field day with this!

Searching for answers, I walked back into my…her room. It definitely wasn't where I lived. Spotting the mobile phone lying on the desk, I snatched it up. It was still on, a stroke of luck. I dialed home. The home I was used to. My little sister answered the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?" There sure was a ruckus going on over there, I heard myself yelling repeatedly, followed by my parents yelling back.

"Erm…may I speak to Kyon please?" I said, this definitely wasn't my voice.

"Sure, hold on…Kyon! Phone call for you!"

"WHAT NOW?!" Now didn't that attitude seem familiar.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone, no answer, if I was right about who was in my body, then she was definitely taken aback, though I have the feeling that she might actually end up being entertained by this little incidence. I say little, because after all that has happened, not much can faze me now. Though I have to admit this is one of the last things I expected.

"Kyon?" I finally heard my own voice on the other end of the phone. I guess she's figured out what happened as well.

"Yeah its me, listen Haruhi, we can discuss exactly what happened later, for now, just get changed, and don't tell anybody about this, I'll meet you in front of the school gate."

"Yeah…okay."

"Great." Hey, is it just me or was I taking control? Oh god, being in her body was already having an effect on me.

"And Kyon?!"

"What now?"

"You'd better not try anything funny while you're in there!"

"Funny?"

"You know what I mean!!"

Funny? What could I possibly do that would…I looked down, noticing the wet shirt sticking to my chest. Oh.

Getting dressed was a problem. I searched all the wardrobes in her room before finding the one where she kept her clothes. Now…about undergarments….I opened one of the drawers to find them in a variety of colours and patterns. I had to admit some of them were pretty se…snap out of it!!

I undressed, closing my eyes, not wanting risk incurring Haruhi's wrath, even if she was now in my body. I grabbed a random undergarment meant for the lower body out of the drawer and put it on, trying desperately the resist the urge to look downwards. The next garment was quite a problem. I picked it up, looking at it curiously…I had to admit I had no godly idea as to how it was meant to be worn. After 10 minutes of staring aimlessly at it, I gave up, tossing it back into the drawer.

I pulled on the sailor uniform, the shirt and the rather short skirt. Wearing a skirt felt extremely uncomfortable. Hard to believe girls have the courage to wear it almost everyday. I picked up the red ribbon meant to be attached to the uniform, perplexed as to how it was meant to be tied. I looked at the clock and saw that school started in fifteen minutes. No time to wonder about it, I stuffed it into one of the pockets of the skirt. I went over to the mirror in her room. Why hadn't I noticed that before? Looking at myself…her, in the mirror. Once again I had to admit she was really cute when she wasn't in the middle of a plot that would effectively make the SOS brigade's lives miserable. Okay, I thought, looking at myself in the mirror. Anything I was forgetting?

I checked the bedside table.

Ah, there. Next to her hair ribbon was that blinding red armband she always wore. Currently on it were the words 'Ultra Dancer' - a grim reminder of a chain of events I don't even want to think about. Next to it was the black pen she used to write on it... the temptation was enormous. What to write? 'Ultra Idiot'? 'Ultra Eccentric'? 'Ultra big mouth'? In the end, I just settled for 'Ultra Armband-wearer'.

I picked up her hair ribbon, wondering how her hair was meant to be tied up. I smirked devilishly to myself…herself? I really didn't know anymore. I then tied my…her hair into a ponytail. Now she looked even better. I smiled at the reflection, my heart almost dropped.

Pulling on my socks, I grabbed her school bag, assuming she had packed the night before, and ran downstairs. There was no-one, so I assumed that her parents had left earlier. I hurriedly went into the kitchen. Spotting a jug on the table, I picked up one of the glasses left on the table, washed it in the sink, and poured some of whatever was in the jug, which turned out to be green tea. It was lukewarm. That meant her parents had already left quite a bit earlier. Going over to the door, I put on the pair of shoes which looked like hers, and went out.

As I walked out of the house, the many differences between Haruhi's body and mine began to show.

Firstly, walking. Haruhi's legs were quite a bit shorter than mine, and it took me a while to get accustomed to this new set of limbs.

As I teetered and swayed along the path, I was sure that any figure of authority that spotted me would have me arrested immediately for suspected illegal drug abuse.

It would be even more likely if they knew Haruhi prior.

Second was the difference in clothing. Wearing this uniform subjected myself to a lot more breeze, especially in...certain areas. Even though this made me instant eye candy, it was actually much better than the stuffy trousers that boys have to wear.

I wonder which gender gets the better deal?

Nevertheless, I eventually got used to using Haruhi's body, kind of the same way you got used to carsickness.

Right. Now, to get my bearings. For the first time in my life, I was glad that our school was atop a megalithic hill, as I could clearly see it against the horizon from Haruhi's doorstep. Time to set off.

As I continued my trudge up the steep hill to school and arrived at rendezvous point, I began looking around. Come to think of it, it would be the first time I could freely see myself in the third person. Videos, photos and mirrors don't really count for a number of reasons.

Ah, there I am now.

I really shouldn't have let my expectations rise.

It may have been my body, face and voice, but the person standing there then was definitely not me. Anybody that saw this Kyon would immediately ask who he was and what he'd done with the real me. On that note, I really hope you know, Haruhi, cause this whole thing is still freaking me out.

So, looking at myself again... good god, Haruhi, what have you done?

My hair had been gelled backwards like a patch of dead seaweed, and in front of my face was a pair of tacky tinted glasses. And even worse, on my face itself was a arrogant, menacing expression that was just about acceptable on Haruhi, but combined with my below-average looks was enough to scare off little children. Maybe that was her intention.

"W-what have you done?! I can't believe you would do this after you told ime/i not to try anything funny!" I exclaimed.

"Huh? Oh... It's just that your old look always struck me as kinda boring." She yawned slowly.

"Well, it's just that this new look strikes me as kinda insane!" I retorted sharply, but as per usual, this retort was ignored. Such a pity that all my good sarcastic remarks are used against Haruhi, the one person who would never be able to appreciate them.

After being mildly irritated for a few moments, I decided to let it go... for now.

"So, Haruhi... what are we going to do about this?"

"Huh? I dunno."

Shouldn't you be a bit more concerned?!

"I don't really see any reason to worry."

"What if people find out?"

"You're boring old Kyon, and I'm the super-amazing Haruhi! Complete opposites. No matter how hard we try, people will notice eventually, so what's the point?

Anyway, it would be better if they knew! Then people will start realising that mysterious things can really happen!" Such a big smile couldn't possibly fit on my face.

I have a feeling that once again, I'm going to have to rely on the ever-reliable Nagato-san to help me out of this somehow.

"Let's just go to class for now." I sigh softly and turn around to walk into school, only to be suddenly yanked backwards by the shirt collar.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" My voice echoes over me in a commanding tone that doesn't suit it at all.

"What have you done to my hair?!" Haruhi bellows.

"Huh? It's a ponytail. What's wrong with that? You used to do it, right?" I smile smugly.

"But don't you have a ponytail fe-" She stops halfway. So she actually remembered that bizarre night.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"... Forget it."

Hah! After all that previous torment Haruhi had put me through, this is a nice minor act of revenge. Insignificant, but satisfying.

But something was still bugging me. Why on Earth had this even happened in the first place? It's obviously Haruhi's fault, like every other problem I get into, but why would she have wished for this?

Irritated at each other for reasons that neither of us could reveal, we slowly walk into school.

"Oh, and Kyon?" Haruhi turns around as we enter the school doors.

"Yeah?"

"I was quite surprised when I got you ready for school this morning! I didn't expect it to be that long!"

If I was drinking something then, it would have been sprayed all over the floor.

"Wha-?"

"Your history essay. It was well over the criteria sensei set. I would have thought you'd get it over with as soon as possible and throw it aside. Very impressive."

I sigh softly, not knowing whether to be relieved or not.

A/N-Kite Impulse-Chapter 1 done! Hah, my section is so much better than Cerium's. Turned out better and longer than expected. I have high hopes for this fic! The dressing scene was a nice opportunity for abit of fanservice, though I can't use much detail due to the T rating we've settled on.

A/N -Cerium Radonite-"Hiiii! CeRn here. I would like to say that this story was my idea and all the good bits were written by me. I know the basic plot of this fic is a bit cliched, but I thought it would work really well with Kyon and Haruhi's personalities. I hope you agree.

OH BTW, REVIEWS PLEASEEEEEEEEE, COOKIES FOR THOSE WHO REVIEW, AND A FREE HARUHI BOBBLEHEADD!!

REMEMBER TO STATE WHOSE SECTION YOU LIKE BETTER!

Credits:

Inside house scene-Kite Impulse

Outside house-Cerium Radonite

Painstakingly edited and reformatted by Kite Impulse.

(OMAKE DELETED) --"