Twilighted

The Forks?

Second chapter! Yay! My sincerest apologies for not uploading another chapter of L&B, I'll do as soon as I'm able. It's the last year of high school so I'm freaking out a bit. This chapter uses the f-word extensively, given Anja is prone to swearing. Besides, I think she deserves to be cut some slack- would you care about your potty mouth if you were in her shoes?

After long hours of googling Forks (the shame….), I have come to realise that the place is actually quite pretty. It's old too, which I wasn't expecting. Although I'm a city slicker so I prefer shiny new buildings, and my lip curls whenever I see corrugated iron, it's still not a bad looking place. So with that in mind, don't think that I'm hating on Forks or the US or what/wherever because of how Anja describe things. The placement of the 'Welcome to Forks sign' is somewhat of a mystery. Some sources say there are two; one at the north and south sides of town. Other pictures show it seemingly within the town itself, with shops around it. I'm hoping this technicality won't bother you, as I got frustrated and gave up cutting, pasting and re writing links to the scene there.

Are we enjoying the playlists? Also, I have visuals for some of the chapters on polyvore . com, just search twilighted alliepaula in 'sets'. I also tend to make sets of chapters I haven't even written yet because I get all these ideas, so if you want to play Alice and see into the future, check it out .

Playlist:

The Worst Hangover Ever- The Offspring

Help!- The Beatles

Mistakes I haven't made- A Rocket To The Moon

Fear Of Flying – A Rocket To The Moon

Baba O'Riley (Teenage Wasteland)- The Who


I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

- Marilyn Monroe

Who do you trust when no one seems real anymore?

- Unknown

What the devil is going on here?!

- Snape, A very Potter Sequel


"You alright there, Anastasia?" asked a man with a bushy moustache. A man dressed in a police uniform with a worn brown leather jacket and slightly thinning hair.

Charlie Swan, chief of police.


"Yeah," I emitted a horrible squeak, and coughed to clear my throat. "Um, yes. I'm fine."

He nodded, brow still puckered.

What kind of fuckery is this? Inside my brain a major nuclear meltdown was happening. All the little people inside it were screaming obscenities, and ramming into the walls of my sensitive skull. I don't think I've ever been truly hung-over before, but if this is what it's like, I'll never get drunk again.

Drunk. Oh God what the hell was going on? Was this some kind of booze influenced dream? No that wasn't it- I was already going to have a bruise on my arm from pinching myself. Was I hallucinating?

Oh Godric's socks, I was high, wasn't I? I'd broken into the medicine cabinet and OD-ed on cough medicine or something. I was a druggie. Oh my god what the hell had I done?! I was a drunken druggie stuck in a drug induced dream of a teen novel. A really bad teen novel.

"Sorry we woke you," came another deep voice.

My eyes darted to the two other people in the room. Jacob and Billy Black, both seemed entirely unaware of my inner meltdown. So far Stephenie Meyer was right with one thing; descriptions. Jacob was a little bit taller than Charlie and had his hair pulled back into a pony tail- ick. There are few men who could pull off that look, and Jacob wasn't one of them. Still, those big dark eyes made me feel comfortable and gooey as I looked at him.
Wow, now I remember why I was team Jacob (I mean c'mon, Edward was so overrated); those eyes sent a blistering heat all over my skin, and even though he wasn't all muscly yet, he had a nice body.

Rein it in now girl, it would not be a good plan to throw your lips on his at the first meeting. Not in front of his dad and chief Swan anyway. He'd probably charge you with sexual assault.

God what was I thinking? I suppose it was ok seeing as I was high though. Did drug addicts have an increased libido? How long exactly does it take to come down from a high? Would I feel myself descending or something? I suppose I should enjoy myself while it lasted, the aftermath would not be pretty. And Jacob was just so yummy.

Except…. Except that damn ponytail was grossing me out. A lot. Why would you do that? I mean, some people can pull off long hair, but generally it was curly then, like Antonio Banderas, or Ben Barnes… Jacob Black? Not so much. I wonder if it would be weird for me to suggest a haircut…. Just so that he couldn't plait it. There was something a wee bit wrong when a guy in the twenty first century has hair long enough to French braid. Although I really wouldn't mind doing that and taking pictures before he cut it. It would give me enough black mailing material for the rest of his life.

Black mailing, 'Black' hahaha-

"Oh, Anastasia, this is Billy and Jacob, I told you about them, right?" Clearly Charlie had caught me ogling the two people in his…. Living room? Oh dear God, I was hallucinating about being in Charlie Swan's living room. His very small, washed out and smelly living room. Seriously, what did the guy use as room spray? Eau de cheesy socks?

"Ye-es?" I said, but it sounded more like a question.

This wasn't real. This just couldn't possibly be real. It wasn't possible! I'm pretty sure the laws of physics would prevent this from happening; physics always seemed to come up in time travelling movies and sci-fi.

Alright, relax Anja. Nothing is going to happen to you. You are totally fine. You just magically flung yourself into Twilight, nothing to panic about. You'll get out of this.

Charlie was giving me an odd look, and I think they'd finally noticed me hyperventilating. Right, I've got to play it cool. Be calm, play along for now. Look at Billy and don't scream. He's not scary, even if he lets his son wander around with a ponytail. He's not going to turn into a clown or something. It's all just an illusion, a drunken, drugged up nightmare that you are going to wake up from somehow.

And then find a bathroom. A bathroom is a necessity.

Billy was a fairly strong looking man, even juxtaposed with the wheel chair. He offered his hand and I shook it as firmly as possible. Dad always said you could tell a lot about a person by their handshake. Billy's told me that his hands were warm, direct and all too real for my liking. There was no hesitation as he took my pale little hand in his, and smiled.

"Nice to meet you Anastasia, Charlie here told us all about you," said Billy.

What could Charlie know about me? And why does everyone keep using my name? That isn't normal. I barely ever use someone's name when I talk to them. It's when you talk about people that you use their names. When you're bitching about someone who has given you no reason to hate them. When friends turn against each other and scream and throw words like daggers.

I unintentionally flinched at the thoughts. And when I flinched, my bladder nudged me uncomfortably.

"Sorry," chuckled Billy, "sometimes I don't know my own strength."

I let out the weirdest staccato laugh, and then abruptly shut my mouth. My head was just hurting, that's all. I was totally fine. Or at least I would be once I had some water and an aspirin. And a toilet.

I shook Jake's hand, and he blushed a bit. Well I knew I was pretty, but first thing in the morning? And freaking out because I'm in a fictional world? Please! I looked more like a rabid animal. If only the hall mirror wasn't behind him, the image of his damned pony tail and the glaring light was hard to look at, especially with my hangover. And I was hungry. I needed to get a really greasy, deep-fried breakfast into me. With three eggs, hash browns, sausages, and bacon.

Mmmm, bacon would be so good right now…

"Er, Anastasia, would you like to get dressed? It's a bit chilly here..." Charlie trailed off and looked towards his shoes.

I had forgotten I was in my pyjamas. Meh, I was well covered. Still a bit cold in the draughty house, but well covered. Unless of course-

My gaze snapped down to my chest. Ow, ow, ow, no sudden movements now, your neck is sti-

Shit! No wonder he was telling me to cover up! It was evident from just looking at my body's reaction to the temperature how cold I was finding it. That, or I was aroused by the thought of bacon. I folded my arms hastily.

So that's why old Jakey boy had blushed. What a perv. Then again he was a guy, so really it stood to reason that he would look. Guys were, in general, pervs. Especially at this age.

"I'm… going to go put some warmer clothes on," I said slowly and jabbing my thumb towards the stairs without uncrossing my arms. The men nodded, and I nodded, and it was all together a very quiet moment that may have been awkward for some. That was one of my many strengths; an immunity to awkward moments. And a bladder of steal. God I needed a bathroom.

I went up the stairs as fast as possible in my hung-over state, and started doing that jogging on the spot/side-step jig I like to call the toilet dance. I did this little number over to two doors in the hallway before finally- finally!- finding the bathroom.

Back in the purple lair, my bladder relieved, I wondered exactly what I was going to wear. I couldn't just go back down in my pj's, and I would be damned if I had to wear something of Bella's. She was just not going to have anything remotely suitable. She hadn't been here in years anyway, right? So I'd only have tiny pink tutus and some manky shirts. Manky Bella shirts, ick.

I shaded my eyes because the room was despicably bright, and started looking for something familiar.

Five minutes and a trashed room later, nothing was found. I was slowly being blinded by the sun's fuck-I'm-so-cheerful rays, the lair of the beast was barely recognisable, and there was not one single article of my clothing in sight. Not that it said much given my sight was going as fast as my temper was rising.

"Where the HELL is my stuff?!" I fumed. I kicked out wildly at the bed, regretting it the minute my three middle toes made contact with the hard box underneath.

"Holy Mother of FFFFFFFFF-" I smothered my obscenities and clutched my poor, throbbing foot in my hands. Guess I deserved that. What the hell was in those boxes anyway?

I rubbed my toes until the throbbing faded, and got down to investigate.

I could smack myself. I'd ransacked the room, pulling things out of cupboards and tipping out drawers. Did I check under the bed? Of course not. My black trolley-bag was there, fit to burst with my things. "Thank you God, now if you could just get me the hell outta here!"

It took me a moment to realise that I'd said that out loud. Meh, it wasn't loud enough to make my ears ring, so no one would have heard it.

Taking a deep breath, I tried form a plan in my still fuzzy and thoroughly sore head. Step one, get dressed; step two, eat; step three, get the hell out.

I nodded. This was a good plan. It was so simple it might just work. My course decided on, I delved into my bag and retrieved a pair of black heels with ruffle/flower things down the front, a grey t-shirt that said 'I get what I want," a pair of black skinnies and a cropped blazer. A few swipes of black eyeliner, mascara and bright red lipstick aaand…..there. I felt much less vulnerable now.
I turned to look at the full-length mirror in the cupboard and was blinded, once again, by the stupid sun and its reflective light. Sunglasses, I needed sunglasses now. I dug around in my bag and found them sandwiched between an old bra that was too comfortable to get rid of, and a picture of my sister and me.

Don't look, don't look at it. Don't even touch it. Get your sunnies and get out.

But I didn't even need to look; I had already seen it so many times before it was fixed in my brain. Daisy had taken it. It had been right before my sister's first high school dance; our faces were pressed together in a way that was both cute and completely unattractive. I loved that photo, I loved how after it was taken Daisy and I snuck into the dance to watch what happened, and were nearly caught by one of the chaperones. It was one of my favourite memories.

It was ruined. Totally ruined by the way they'd cut me out of our- their group. Cut me out of their lives, ripped themselves out of mine. And now my mascara was running and if I wasn't careful someone would come up and find me like this.

There was a high pitched shrieking down stairs that sent a battering ram to my head. Dear god, who has a phone that loud? And why is no one answering the fucking thing? Ugh, the pain in my head was squeezing more tears out of me, and I couldn't figure out where I'd find a tissue and-

Footsteps on the stairs. Fuck, someone was coming.

Squinting so much I looked half Asian, I swiped my fingers under my eyes and batted my lashes in an attempt to dry them. I pushed my sunnies down and cursed under my breath, before flinging things into drawers and cupboards at random.

"Anastasia?" called Charlie through the door.

"I'll be out in a minute, I'm just getting dressed!" I yelled far too loudly, trying to ram the desk drawer shut.

"Uh, okay. When you're decent, your father's on the phone."

Movement ceased, and an old pair of shorts that I'd flung into the air flopped softly down on my lower back. Dad. Dad could answer everything. If I was in a dream, then that was the downstairs phone, and I'd wake up soon. If not… dad would come and get me. I don't know how I got here or how he found me, but he'd come and get me.

Shoving the rest of the junk on the floor under the desk, I wrenched the door open and barrelled past a very surprised looking Charlie.

Flying down the stairs and across the room, I swivelled around wildly. I felt sea sick, and I couldn't see the phone. That thing was my key to salvation, and I couldn't fucking see it.

"The phone's there, on the table to your right," said an amused looking Billy from the kitchen doorway. I snatched the receiver, "Daddy?" I panted. "Daddy? Are you there?"

"Yes I'm here, Anja. Are you alright?"

"I, um," I swallowed hard and tried to breathe. "I'm fine I think." Shit, he's probably about to lecture me about running away. I don't care; I was getting out of here! He may ground me for the rest of my life but I was going t get out of this nightmare.

"Alright then. How was your flight?" What?! My flight? Where the fuck would I have flown t- Boston to Forks. I'd got on a PLANE and FLOWN from Boston to fucking Forks!

"Um, I can't really remember it," was my halted response. Fuck. It was real. This whole thing was fucking real. I was inside Twilight. I was in Forks. Sweet mother of God what was happening?!

"You were probably asleep for most of it. You looked so tired when we said goodbye. Chief Swan says you went straight to sleep when he got you home."

Charlie Swan picked me up from the airport, which I had flown to. Charlie Swan, a fictional character had driven me to his house, which wasn't supposed to exist. Charlie Swan knew my dad, and was in the next room.

"Uh, yeah, I woke up a little while ago." My head was spinning even more. I think I'm going to be sick.

"Well it looks like it might be a blue moon tonight then," I heard the smile in my dad's voice. He was teasing me about my late-rising habits. I was stuck inside a teen novel, in Charlie fucking Swan's house, and my dad was acting like everything was as it should be.

"Dad, where are you?" I didn't know whether I wanted to have a tantrum or just run. How could this happen? How could they let it happen?

"Still in Boston. I've just got to wrap a few more things up at the office, but we'll be with you in two weeks Anja, don't worry. We've wired some money into your bank card so you can take care of the basics and a car. Your mom's finding a house, and your sister is just getting her transcript together. We've taken care of yours already; you'll be ready to start school at Forks High right on time."

"Forks High?" I sounded so dumb, repeating stuff like that.

"We've been over this Anastasia," he was getting impatient. My father was getting impatient because I couldn't comprehend the fact that I was in a fictional world! "I know it's a public school," he continued, "but their results are fantastic and there's a dance studio an hour away where you're set to start."

"Uh….." Oh god. What now. This was real. It was all real.

There was shuffling and mumbled voices on the other end. "I'm sorry Anja but I have to go- your mom will call tonight to see how you're doing."

There were so many things I wanted to ask him, but everyone was probably eavesdropping from the kitchen and I was just too confused right now to find a logical question.

"Oh. Okay."

"Bye."

"Love you. See you soon," I said. He hung up.

Shit.

This wasn't a dream, this was actually real. I was moving here because dad wanted to … well I didn't say but it was definitely him that was behind this move, because my mother hated small towns. I was like her in that way; I loved the city. The buzz, the people, everything. It was impossible to be alone with nothing to do there. There were so many distractions you never had to be lumped with your thoughts. You could always leave reality behind.

"Anastasia?" I turned to Charlie. "Are you alright? You look a little shaken."

I nodded and plastered a smile on my mouth, "yeah, just hungry."

He grinned, "well come on, I've got some cereal in the kitchen. After breakfast we can take you out to see Forks."

Yeah, that'll take around five minutes. Following him, trying to form an adequate escape plan, it occurred to my body that I had just flown across the country. Jacob and Billy were still here, looking at me in fascination as my body set about draining the adrenaline from my blood and replacing it with melatonin. Next stop; moody, catatonic and totally lost.

"Did you come for the cereal too?" I asked dryly.

Jacob laughed much louder than necessary, but I smiled all the same. Good to know my wit was appreciated, even in fictional worlds. What am I saying? This is twilight- wit was practically a foreign concept!

"Well I wouldn't eat anything he'd actually cooked!" laughed Billy at an insensitive decibel. I officially didn't like him. Charlie merely laughed and turned to one of the old laminated cupboards.

"I have bran flakes, and Count Chocula.

You have got to be fucking with me. Oh the painful irony.

"I'm guessing Count Chocula?" smiled Charlie. I could only nod. The whole world was out to drive me insane.

Charlie looked slightly less friendly, and I realised my unresponsiveness wasn't the most polite attitude. Fuck that, I was tired, hungry, confused; in short, I was past caring.

I took the bowl from his hands, vaguely pleased he'd put the correct amount of milk in.

"Thanks, Mr Swan," I mumbled.

The wooden chairs were battered and slightly damp. The table wasn't much better. The bowl he'd given me was plastic, and the spoon had water spots on it. Clearly he didn't entertain. Or care about presentation.

"So Anastasia," started Jake the Perky Perv. "Are you staying in Forks long?"

Not if I can help it. "I'm not sure. My parents haven't exactly filled me in."

"Really? When your father talked to me, it sounded like a permanent type of move," said Charlie.

Please God no. "Perhaps. We'll see how my mom copes with being in such a small town."

"If you're looking for a place to live, there are a few pieces of land in La Push," commented Billy. Apparently, he was a real estate agent now.

"I'll mention it." This milk tasted weird. If I got food poisoning, that would be the last straw. I'd officially take leave of my senses and steal the police cruiser to escape.

"Well if you're going to Forks High that might not be the ideal location." And Charlie wanted to be an estate agent too. And apparently liked to eavesdrop.

"My mom's looking into it I think."

"Oh well that sorts that out. If she needs any help-"

"I'll direct her in your direction," I finished with a tight smile. Just let me finish my goddamn cereal so I can go and shove your estranged daughter's stuff back into drawers.

There was a brief silence as I battled down mouthfuls of chocolate carbs with as little milk as possible.

"Do you know anyone in town besides Charlie?" piped up Jake.

"No." I was about to go back to my cereal, but I realised this may be my only chance to get one particular question answered. "In fact," I continued, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how I know Chief Swan." I threw him an apologetic smile. "My dad probably told me, but I've forgotten."

"Your father came down here every other summer when we were young. We would sometimes go out with friends together, and he was around the summer that I got married. He even attended the wedding."

What. The actual. Fuck.

"Oh. I see." I went back to fishing cereal out of my bowl. My father, the man born in a suit, self-made man, and big-time advertising head for Apple; used to holiday in Forks. Now my math was rusty, but something wasn't quite adding up here.

"Summer in here is great; the sun shines, there's not as much rain, and there are bonfires all the time," said Jake wistfully.

"You got here on a good day," said Billy. "The sun is shining much brighter than usual."

Specifically just to hurt my eyes and piss me off.

"You'll get used to the weather soon," added Charlie. "Maybe even learn to like it," he laughed, nudging me. I let out an unamused 'ha'.

I needed to get out of here. Maybe if I somehow caused a distraction in the kitchen, I could run to the cruiser and get away. I knew they had trackers in those things, but I didn't need to steal it, just borrow it until I got to Seattle.

God where was a cab when you needed them? I was starting to feel nauseous again, only this time I could taste the stench of bile in my throat. I was actually physically ill.

Well considering your usual nausea after flying, the probability of that milk being sour, and factoring in how you JUST WOKE UP IN A FICTIONAL WORLD, are you really surprised?

"Um, may I be excused? I just need to-" my innards heaved and my mouth clamped shut. The chair screamed as it scraped the floor. There was another heave, and my hand was on my mouth.

The stairs tried to trip me up and the bathroom door was suddenly stiff, but I made it.

After gifting the porcelain God with my breakfast, I rolled over to the side and balled myself up into the foetal position.
I was in Forks. I was In Twilight. Tati wasn't here. My parents weren't going to come and pick me up, they were going to move here. I had no way of knowing how I got here, or how the fuck I was going to get out. I was hung over, and this house was freezing. My friends had just disowned me, right after I caught my boyfriend cheating, and I probably had food poisoning.

Fuck, I hate my life. When had everything gotten so utterly screwed up? When had I been reduced to a mess of hot tears and angst? I was crying in earnest. My nose was dribbling, my lip was shaking, and the horrible stink of vomit was not helping my nausea. Flushing the toilet, I wobbled over to the sink and clung to it. The girl in the mirror had a red nose, smudged lipstick, and three black streaks on her cheeks. I wiped the tears away, gave a final sniff, and pushed up my sunnies so they sat like a second set of eyes on my head. Then I addressed my reflection, like I always did when I'd fallen apart. "You are going to be ok. You are going to fix your make-up, put away the shit in Bella's room, and then you are going on a tour of Forks. But before any of that, you are going to rinse out your mouth, brush your teeth, and go make nice with the fictional characters."

The reflection understood, and together we set out doing these things. I hunted down some mouth wash and toothpaste. While descending the stairs, I heard Billy making fun of a worried Charlie in the kitchen.

"I told you, you need to check expiry dates every week," said Billy. "Otherwise you end up poisoning your guests more than usual."

"But it only expires today- besides, the fridge keeps it colder and it lasts longer. Maybe she's lactose intolerant."

"Um, no," I interrupted. "I'm still a bit queasy from the jetlag, that's all." And have a hangover that would kill an Elephant. God, I'll never drink again. Ever.
Wait, maybe that's the way to get out of this mess! I'll replicate my actions and then I'll get back home. Unless it's like what happened in '
What women want', then I've got to get electrocuted or something.
However eating chocolate and getting drunk in my room was probably not something people did often in Forks. Charlie may interrupt me or something and screw it all up. Damn you Charlie!

"You feeling queasy again?" asked Charlie. Perhaps he was worried that I'd not make it to the bathroom this time and just throw up right there. He probably didn't know how to properly clean a floor, so I understood his fear.

I shook my head and relaxed my brow, "I'm fine. If you let me get my bag, I'd like to get that tour now."

He smiled, and nodded. I decided it would be good to just stuff everything into the closet for now, and then tidy up properly later. There is only so much time a girl can spend looking for her bag after all.

Jacob and Billy had to head back, so I said it was nice to meet them and waved goodbye. See? Playing nice. Charlie got his keys and led me outside. I gripped the hand-rail, not sure just how polite the driveway was going to be. It was a gentleman though, and let me get all the way to the cruiser. I waited for a second as Charlie approached. He was going on the wrong side. The lights flashed so I knew the car was unlocked, but Charlie only opened his door and slid into the driver's seat.

Oh, right. You open your own doors here. Going to have to get used to that.

Charlie pulled out and told me that seeing as his house was close to the town centre, he was going to drive to the outskirts and then show me around. I nodded and told him that sounded good, even though I wasn't quite certain his plan made sense. I was in a car, and there had to be some blunt object in here I could hit him with. I'd had to be careful though, assaulting an officer wouldn't be taken lightly. And then there was still the issue of driving with him either still in the seat, or trying to drag him out the car. Maybe If I told him I saw some randoms lighting up in a woody area (ie, anywhere on the side of the road), he'd get out, and I'd be able to skid into his seat and drive off.

"So what do you want to do until your folks get here?"

"Hmm?"

"Well your parents aren't going to be here for another week-"

"Two weeks," I corrected. Fourteen days. …a lot of hours. God, could I survive that long without Tati? I'd done it for longer before, but I was so confused by everything right now. I needed her here so she could tell me what the hell was happening.

"Well I'm guessing that, charming as I am, you don't want to spend the whole time with me," laughed Charlie.

I smiled weakly, "well I guess I'll get a better idea after I've seen what's here. I do need to get a car though."

"Well if you need a car, you don't have to spend anything," said Charlie.

"Um, you're suggesting I commit grand-theft auto?" What the hell? I knew this town was crazy, but he was a cop for crying in a bucket!

He chuckled loudly, "I'm fairly certain they'd have my badge for even joking about that."

I nodded, still lost. Where was this guy's logic?

"No, what I meant was that Billy has a truck he's trying to get rid of. He'd give it to you, no problem. Wouldn't even need to get it checked out- Jake's as good as any mechanic."

Ah, so the death trap was still around.

"As tempting as that sounds, my dad would probably shudder at the thought of a used car. He just doesn't think they're as safe, you know?"

Alright, dad was okay with having a second hand car (this was Forks after all), but I didn't like the idea at all. It just didn't seem as safe, and, let's face it, I didn't know what had happened in that car. I didn't like not knowing the stories behind all the scratches and stains. It creeped me out to think that someone may have died, lost their virginity, or thrown up in my back seat. I mean, ew! Who wanted to be driving around, not knowing (or knowing, depending on stains) that someone had taken a different kind of ride in there? No thank you.

"Ah well I suppose that's his opinion, and if he wants to spend the money…"

I tuned out as he went on about car safety and used cars and miles driven. I could see a road ahead and I'm betting that was the sign saying 'welcome to Forks'.

Wait- nope. Just another road sign. God, where was this town? Was it so small that the trees totally hid it?

"Um, when exactly are we going to see the town?" I asked.

"Soon, soon. I'm just going a little more to the side so we don't start in the centre of town. We'll get there, don't worry," he chuckled. I waited for a few minutes, and lo and behold, buildings started to appear. Old, seemingly empty buildings. Dear heaven, this place was a dump. The road was all worn, nothing was shiny and new, paint was peeling off everything. Oh, and it was one big trailer park, oh I'm sorry, RV. I wasn't sure whether to run or write them a cheque. This town needed a serious facelift. And a nose job. And more than likely a tummy tuck. I wasn't one to advocate surgery but this place was awful. Ugh I so don't want to be here! I wondered if James was around. Where would he be at this point? Maybe I could get him here somehow and persuade him to eat me. Drink me. Whatever. Then again, death had never been high on my priority list. And my family was moving here- they'd have to deal with the death. And my funeral.

"Sorry you had to see that part of Forks first," said Charlie. "But I thought I'd show the worst first, save the best for last and all."

Wait what? So that was the dodgy part of Forks? "So that part of town was…?"

"Because of the recession, and a few killer storms recently, folks haven't had much time to fix things up properly. The rain makes things look worse than they really are."

Two seconds later, and I was in a very different place. What. The hell. There were still tacky buildings with what looked like metal walls, but there were so many lovely ones of wood, with old colonial styling. Everything was a bit sludgy if you looked too closely, but pretty green otherwise, with nice paint jobs. All in all…. It was cute. It even had a bowling alley that looked like it was still stuck in the sixties. I couldn't believe myself, but I found the little town with its plebeian populace adorable. It was like one of those little animated kids' shows where every week you learn some valuable life lesson. And there were so many buildings! I couldn't actually get over the size of this place; it was like expecting a prawn and ending up with a lobster!

Charlie had been pointing out various landmarks to me- apparently Forks was 115 years old, which surprised me. I'd thought with that amount of time it might have been a little bit more interesting.

Don't judge too soon; the little people here probably think it's very important. Don't mess with the natives.

"And there's the welcome sign."

Why would a welcome sign be in the middle of town? That was just stupid. This place was stupid. It may be kinda cute, but it was still Forks.

The car started slowing, and Charlie told me to get out.

"Wh-what?" I hadn't said anything mean about his little town! Nothing! And he couldn't hear my thoughts, right? What the hell was going on?

"Let's take a picture of you with the sign. We'll e-mail it to your folks tonight and show them how well you're doing."

You could have knocked me over with a feather. What would my parents want with a picture of me next to some gross, mouldy sign? Charlie had already gotten out the car and was searching his pockets for a camera; it was a pretty good quality digital too. Huh, maybe some city-friend had sent it to him as a gift. Grudgingly I followed instructions, tip toeing across the damp grass, trying not to get my heels stuck. There weren't many cars about. The only person I saw was inside a store getting ready to open I guess, but Charlie helped me cross the road, holding my hand like I was five or something. We got to the sign, and only then did he let go of my hand, needing two to operate his camera. He walked backwards so he got everything in the shot, and told me to 'strike a pose'.

I smiled, leaned against the sign, and hoped that I could run across the road faster than him. I'd probably manage it as long as the road stayed empty, and I ditched my shoes.

Charlie said I was a natural, and stood by the side of the road like a sentinel.

I looked down and started to pull my shoe off, apologising that I had to leave them on the side of a road in Forks. What choice did I have though? If my parents were coming, then they'd only get here in two weeks. If they weren't, which was more likely given the fictional situation I was in, then I needed to get out. Preferably now.

"You ok there?" called Charlie, the second I had my other shoe off. I looked up to make sure the road was clear before I ran, but Charlie was barely two feet from me. I lifted my shoes, ready to throw them at him, but his concerned expression made me baulk. I looked behind me, expecting someone dead or dying, but saw nothing.

"Did you hurt yourself? I didn't like the look of those shoes, but I figured you city girls wore them all the time," he hurried over and lifted up my foot. I was stunned- he thought I was injured? His first reaction when he saw me with my shoes off, leaning towards the road, was that I was injured?

"No, no I'm fine. I just- um," I just, um, what? Planning to steal your car and drive to Seattle with it?

"I wanted to feel the grass beneath my feet. You don't often get to do that in Boston."

Charlie seemed appeased, "well put them back on then, we have a lot to see."

Great, my one chance at getting the hell out of here, and I blew it. Brilliant, Anja.

"Let's get another shot of you next to the Tree House."

"What?" I asked, sliding my foot back into my lovely shoes. It was lucky that the grass hadn't been too soggy, because then I'd have muddy feet. Charlie led me back across the road, and drove me further into town (there were actually buildings shoulder to shoulder on both sides of the street). Parking in the lot for the transport centre, he walked me across the street (what is with this man and holding my hand?) to a tree trunk under a roof which was wider than I was tall. It had a sign nailed to it, giving some information on the logging history of forks ('Forks; logging capitol of the world!'). Charlie was snap-happy, taking pictures of me reading the sign, turning around to see what the hell he was doing, pulling a confused face that clearly said 'wtf, Charlie?' and then finally giving the tree a hug. I mean, what other pose is possible with a huge tree? As I surveyed the rest of the town, Charlie was going through the pictures and telling me what fun we would have today, and over the next three weeks. I turned around when he abruptly said to 'look sharp.' What the hell did that mean? There wasn't anyone to look sharp for, and we weren't doing anything secretive.

"Morning Mayor Byron," called Charlie, giving a small wave to a portly fellow in a tweed suite. He looked like the Italian chef in the logo for my favourite pizza place.

"Morning Charlie!" he sang back as he came down the street. "This must be our new resident, Miss Knightley."

Ah, so that's what he meant. "'Look sharp,' the Mayor of our fair town is coming our way, and as I'm chief of police, you'd better not make me look bad." I smiled and went over to shake hands with another fictional character. Before you knew it, I'd look like Alice and Forks would turn into Wonderland.'

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr Mayor," I said, sweet as apple-pie.

"And you, Miss Knightly," He shook my hand firmly, but it was still soft due to his well-padded fingers. There was a few moments of polite chit-chat where I told him how pretty Forks was, and he said he knew I'd love it here.

Shows how much you know.

"Well I'm sorry I can't stay and chat, I just wanted a quick word with Chief Swan here, but I'll see him about it later," he smiled widely. Clearly his campaign manager had advised him to do it widely and frequently.

"Oh no, please go ahead, I'll just wait in the car," I hurried out. I was about to get a second chance at escaping and I was not going to give it up.

"No, no, it's really unimportant," he said with a chuckle. I was backing towards the car even now.

"Oh no, please, I insist."

"No, no I couldn't possibly-" he stopped talking once he realised I wasn't listening, to focused on walking towards the car at a normal pace. I couldn't run now, that would look fishy.

I looked both ways before crossing the street like a good little girl, going through the route we'd travelled before in my head. I was pretty sure I could find my way out. I just needed to stay on the high-way. Simple. I could do this.

The car was unlocked. Better yet, the keys were in the ignition; thank you, small town naivety. A quick glance to make sure that they were still talking, paying no attention to me. I took stock of what I had to work with- old manual, with weird looking pedals. Breathe, breathe, you can do this. You have GOT to do this. I buckled up, took a deep breath, and started the engine. The men looked my way, curious. I started backing out of the spot, but this car was stiff, and I couldn't see out of it properly. Alright, I wasn't a great driver yet, but I passed my test first time. Charlie said something hastily to the Mayor, and I turned the thing around and headed for the road. Chief Swan was running towards me now, and I was panicking. This wasn't nearly as easy as I'd planned. The wheel was heavy, and I would need to pass Charlie on my way out. He knew this, and was already half way to the entrance to the car park. I gunned the engine, trying to beat him there. He seemed to know what I was doing though, and jumped in the road.

Shit shit shit! I can't kill someone! Especially not a cop! Fuck that, he's not real- keep going! No- he's still alive in this world! Oh God! This was so much more successful in my head. Fuck, maybe I could swerve-?
I was nearly on Charlie, and I didn't trust myself not to accidentally run him over. Real or not real, that would be bad. Fuck, I wasn't going to make it. I made a frustrated sound that was annoyingly high-pitched, and slowed down. He leaned into the window as I pulled up to him, concern in his eyes but those thick eyebrows were making an intimidating 'V' on his forehead.

"Just, ah, bringing the car around for you," I said, voice cracking on the last syllable so it sounded like a question. I am such a failure. I can't drive a car when my sanity, and possibly my life, depends on it.

"I'm sure you were," he said. After a second of looking at me, he cleared his throat and pointed to the seat. "Can I get in?"

"Oh! Sure, I'll just, uh-" oh God, I'm an idiot. Why did I think I could do this? I got out and walked around to my seat. It felt like a walk of shame, and I had the hang-over to go with it. There was no attempt at conversation until Charlie started telling me about the totem poles that started cropping up. I pretended nothing had happened, chiming in now and then with questions.

"Want to see your new school?" he asked after there had been a small silence.

"Yeah, that'd be great," I said. Minutes later we were in front of a huge, burgundy building. It was kinda pretty. Those white stones that edged the corners, all the green trees and shrubs around it.

"You don't really want to be here, do you?"

My head audibly snapped in Charlie's direction. Well he was a cop; he made a living out of noticing things and reading people. There was no point in denying it now- my reaction was answer enough. If I wanted to find out what was going on though, I'd probably do better not to say I outright despised my position (geographically as well and circumstantially).

"I'm just… confused," I compromised. "I don't know…. what's going to happen."

Or how I got here, or WHY I am here, or exactly how this is at all POSSIBLE.

Charlie nodded. Silence.

"I'm sorry I tried to steal your cruiser," I said. May as well admit it.

He chuckled softly, still looking straight ahead. "I'm not sure what you thought you'd achieve by it. Those things don't exactly blend in. And it's easily traced, what with the radios and all."

I smiled slightly, "Yeah, I knew that. I figured if I could just get to Port Angeles, I could ditch it there and get on a plane. You foiled my plan when you jumped in the road though."

"You're that desperate to get home?" I wasn't sure whether it was pity, or incredulity that dimmed his smile.

I shrugged, "I'm just…" I didn't know what to say. Lost? Insane? Charlie didn't know he was a fictional character, so how could he possibly understand how confused I was. "Tired," I finished. It was what every teenager said when they couldn't, or wouldn't, express themselves.

Charlie nodded, even though it clearly made no sense. The silence stretched out again, like a cat in a patch of sun.

"School starts in a week and a bit," he said abruptly.

"Oh," I said. "Probably should get a car before then. Don't want to steal yours again."

He chuckled, "committing a felony wouldn't be a good way to start here."

"Oh I don't know; it would give people something to talk about. The trouble making new girl staying with Chief Swan- may even make the headlines."

His deep laugh got slightly louder, "I'd never hear the end of it- a criminal under my own roof."

I giggled, "You could come to the dark side with me; I'd give you cookies."

We laughed, but it died down quickly.

"Look Anastasia," He said, clearing his throat. "I know I'm not the most open person, and we don't know each other well but- Well if you want to talk about… being homesick or something, I'm here. I mean, I can't say I'll be much help but if you want to talk about your uh, feelings, I'm happy to listen." He was trying so hard, and it made me smile. I leaned over and hugged him, just to let him know he didn't have to keep talking.

"Thanks Charlie, it means a lot," I said. The poor man clearly had problems with emotional expression, but I had plenty of issues myself. He patted my head awkwardly, but I think he liked being hugged. Probably reminded him of Bella.

"I should probably show you the rest of Forks," he said after I let go.

I nodded, and my stomach rumbled. "After that, do you mind if we stop and get something to eat?" He smiled and nodded, "should probably stop off at the supermarket anyway."

My head twinged, graciously reminding me of my killer hang-over. "We need olive oil too," I cringed, massaging my temples. Charlie looked confused, but said nothing.

The rest of the tour was uneventful. We stayed in the car, and Charlie told me a few stories about some of the places we passed. Turns out the town of Forks is pretty big, but had a lot of people in outlying areas. That said, I don't think it took more than an hour to get anywhere. We stopped and got sandwiches and drinks at the Shell garage, then kept going. Although I didn't quite understand it, Charlie was really proud of this town. He was so excited (in his own, quiet way of course), that he practically refused to stop for more than a few minutes. We drove so much, I had to ask him to pull over so that I could stretch my legs and wake up my butt. By the time the sun started going down, I'd seen every blade of grass in Forks, and most of La Push too. It was a wonder I'd not started voicing my sarcasm, because there are only so many trees you can see before remarking on how totally different every single one is. I managed to keep my grumpiness to myself, but with a hang-over and an empty stomach, there wasn't much I could do besides try to keep my mouth shut.

"I think we'd better get some dinner in us, and head home," said Charlie. I couldn't have agreed more. Charlie took me to The Lodge. A grill right next to the 'Tree house' I saw this morning. The place was like an old, musty, horribly tacky hunting lodge. There were at least three moose-heads mounted on the wall, faded sienna wallpaper, and dodgy lighting. Luckily my hang-over bid me goodbye around midday, so the loud obnoxious music didn't bother me. Charlie seemed to be on good terms with the wait-staff; they greeted each other by name, asking about family and jobs and bunions.

"I take it you come here often?"

Charlie looked a bit sheepish, "I don't do much in the way of cooking, and what I do is rarely edible."

I giggled, remembering how Bella had to play house-wife. "Sorry to say this, but I've not much experience in the kitchen myself. It looks like we'll be living on take-out and ready-made meals."

Whether the service was good, or Charlie got preferential treatment, we ordered and had our food within thirty minutes. My burger was so big, I didn't even attempt to try shoving it in my mouth. I felt so prissy cutting it up, but there really was no other way. It was good, not the best I'd had obviously, but I could get used to eating it. Charlie seemed to be on friendly terms with most of the people in Forks (Forkians? Forkers? Forkish?), half of which seemed to have crammed themselves into the grill for dinner. We had a near constant stream of people coming by. It was like a dance routine; say hi to Charlie, polite small talk about something local or personal; suddenly notice me, and question me on Boston, when I got here. Quick laugh when I tell them it was this morning, and tell me some trivial information about themselves before saying they 'really should be getting back' to their own bloody table.

During this time I met Mrs Newton (the woman was a poster child for toothpaste), Mr Mason (my English teacher), Mayor Byron said hello again with his wife (lovely woman, can't stop saying 'luv-er-leh'). Then there were the Smiths with their three kids, another police officer whose name came out with such a broad Chicagoan accent I didn't understand a word he said, and then a sweet old bat who had apparently been his nanny. She came past, made polite chit-chat, mistook me for her niece, berated me for not calling ahead, and then promptly went back to see if her potatoes had cooled.

By the time my peach cobbler arrived I was exhausted.

"Sorry about old Mrs Faust. She misplaces her glasses half the time and can't see clearly without them. Lovely woman though," he said, still tearing into his chocolate pie.

I 'hmmed' in response. I was tired, thoroughly agitated, and I refused to cause a scene with half the townsfolk in here. It was bad enough I would have to live with them for the foreseeable future, I didn't want to have to deal with their gossip too.

We drove home, and I tried to ignore the scenery. The trees were tall and seemingly endless, looking more like an army of shadows than a forest. The dim lights that dotted the road did little, and it was all so quiet. It was like a post-apocalyptic world, totally dead. A deer ran into the road and I screamed bloody murder. I was glad to see something alive, but Christ it nearly made me pee my pants! Charlie seemed more spooked by me than the deer. After I got a grip, silence reigned again until we pulled up to his house. It seemed to have warmed up a bit during the day, which was nice. Charlie went straight to the TV, and watched the news and whatever sport was on. I headed up to shower and brush my teeth. The water warmed up quickly, thank heaven, and it was so nice to get into my pyjamas afterwards. The mirror was pretty small, which I hadn't really notice before, but it served its purpose.

Once again in the purple lair, I half-heartedly cleaned up the mess I'd made in my panic that morning. I found a few spare coat hangers and unpacked a bit, then went hunting for my cell again, finding it in my shoe, again. I plugged it in, keyed in the code, and waited impatiently for it to turn on. No new messages. None. I scrolled through my old conversations- there were a few new ones from Aiden, but I'd already opened them. When I don't know, but I didn't know much these days. Ugh, he didn't even have the decency to grovel; he just told me I was a stupid bitch and I was lucky to have him. Then he went on to say that he'd been seeing the whore for over a month. God I'd been so stupid!

Nothing new from dad. Nothing from mom. I couldn't bring myself to check Daisy, Jayd or Georgie. Tati had sent me a few things. Mostly asking how my day was- I'd replied? Wha-? HOLY SHIT! These messages were from over a week ago! How had over a week of my life gone by without my knowledge? Better yet, how the HELL had I ended up here? Oh God. I was too tired to deal with this. I needed to go to sleep, and then hopefully I'd wake up, and all of this would be a bad dream. A horrible nightmare that I would laugh at later with Tati. Then I suppose I'd go out with friends- real friends –and start getting over the horrible night I had.

Charlie knocked on the door, and I turned over my phone; it raised more questions than answers.

"Come in," I called.

"Hey Anastasia," he said softly. "Just wanted to make sure you were alright. You think you'll get to sleep ok?"

I smiled, "yeah, I'm fine."

Aside from discovering I've lost over a week of my life, I'm just peachy keen, thanks.

Charlie nodded, and went to open the window.

"It's hot tonight, you'll want this open, trust me," he said. Then he paused. He seemed to be looking at the walls with great interest.

"Um, Charlie, as interesting as it is to watch, I'm pretty sure the paint has been dry for a while now."

"Oh, right. I was just thinking how long it took to paint this room. Your dad told me you liked purple, and I figured it might be a nice surprise for Bella. Bella's my daughter," he said, turning to me. "She may be visiting me next year."

The way he was looking at me… It was like he was asking me to say something. What, I wasn't sure. Did he want me to tell him Bella would love it? That I'm sure she'd visit soon?

"Yeah I was wondering who's tutu was hanging in there," I waved a hand towards the closet.

Charlie smiled, "yeah, she never did like ballet. Her mom and I thought it might do her some good to stick with it, but Bella always had a mind of her own."

He was still looking at me like that. Ugh, what do I say?

"So um, when would Bella come next year?"

"For part of summer vacation. She used to come up every year until she was fourteen, but her mom got tired of driving her, and I guess Bella…"

"I'm sure it was just a phase," I interjected. "The tweenie years are tough, and it can't be easy for anyone to be in one place and then another. It's like she's living in two worlds; yours and your wife's."

He nodded, and bid me goodnight. I did the same, and was surprised when he turned out the light and shut the door on his way out.

So I can't have the car door opened for me, but you act as an automatic light switch? This town is weird.

Lying there, in Bella Swan's bed in a fictional house, I was consistently thinking of one question; why couldn't I have fallen into Harry Potter? Granted I'd be supremely ticked off if I was just a mere Muggle, but it would be infinitely better than being here.

But if I were a Muggle, I wouldn't know Harry's world was real, would I? Unless I was part of a wizarding family or something. That would still be pretty cool, but I'd probably get really bitter really quickly if I couldn't do magic. Guess I'll never know, seeing as I've fallen into Stephenie Meyer's hormonal dream where she plays a goody-goody, sex-crazed virgin trying to get into a freaking vampire's pants.

There were some things I needed to know though; like if Bella was going to show up. I'm not sure if I could take meeting a Mary-sue, face to perfect face. Meyer had written and set the book in 2004, so why was it still my time? Plus, why was I even here in the first place? The reason my dad was moving us here, and the reason I'd landed up in one of the most poorly written teen novels of all time. There had to be a reason. Right?

Right?