Bumblebee Blood

Thank you, one and all, for the magnificent reaction to the first chapter of Bumblebee Blood. Some of you have touched upon the real reason for this story — but what else did you expect from SS19? As for Severus…and your fears…I solemnly swear that I will not kill Severus in this story. He will be alive, up until the final chapter. Does that reassure you? I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter as much as the last! ~ SS19.


Chapter Two:

It was Sunday afternoon. The weather was brilliant and bright, the sun streaming down on the grounds of Hogwarts and reflecting off the stone of the castle, transforming it into a gleaming fortress. The sky was clear blue, and the air was warm. It was comfortable enough. He was leaning against the trunk of the weeping willow that overshadowed the river, eyes closed. His book was resting on his chest, one hand still tucked amongst the ancient pages, marking his place with his thumb. The other was playing with the grass that was resting against his finger tips. He could hear the trickling of the small waterfall only a few metres away, and the buzzing of the insects that were busily going about their duty, oblivious to his presence in their little worlds. He was focusing on his breathing, feeling it enter his chest, linger for a few moments, and then release, feeling at peace. He shifted position, turning his head to one side — there was a sound that he did not recognise. Footsteps. He stayed in the pretence of being asleep, listening as the footsteps approached, faltered and then hesitated altogether. A minute when he knew his visitor was trying to work out if he was asleep, and clearly then decided that he was. Careful not to come too close and thus disturb the proverbial sleeping dragon — which he could be if woken without good reason or due intent — the footsteps padded toward him, something was placed on the ground next to him, and then those steps started to recede. He finally decided to speak up, "You can stay."

"Severus! I thought you were asleep! Did I wake you?"

Severus opened his eyes and glanced at the Headmaster, who was stood a few metres away, expression a mixture of embarrassment and concern. "No. I was simply enjoying the moment. Please, sit." He gestured to the ground, putting his book down and turning his attention to whatever it was Albus had brought. It was a small box, "Is this cake?"

"How did you guess?" Albus replied with a smile as he forced his slightly creaking limbs to sit cross-legged upon the grass. "You missed my invite to Sunday tea." He indicated the box, "So I thought I would take Sunday tea to you. It did take me some time to find you."

Pulling the lid off the blue box, Severus looked at him, "This is the first place you looked, is it not?" His eyes were knowing, and Albus knew he would not be able to lie to him.

"I know you too well, Severus. I know this is your favourite spot in the whole of the Hogwarts grounds." Albus looked around the clearing, near to the boundaries of the Forbidden Forest. The trees around the area were thick and almost pressing, which was enough to turn away the most curious of student, and yet inside there was this place where the trees parted and the river flowed and it could be incredibly beautiful. Severus had discovered it when he had been a student, and since then, it had become his chosen place for reflection and general relaxation. Albus had sought him out many a time here, in various emotional states, although most of the time when he was here, he seemed content. He especially liked the weeping willow, against which he was sat now.

"Ah, chocolate cake. You remembered, then." Severus appraised, still investigating Albus' gift. "I am surprised it took you this long, Headmaster, to realise that I like chocolate cake."

"It seems so unlikely, Severus. We have tried nearly every desert imaginable in my office, and yet, I never thought to offer you chocolate cake — even if it does come from perhaps the most ingenious cake maker in Hogsmeade." Albus smiled at his younger friend, "I even brought a fork."

"So I see." There was a moment of comfortable silence as Severus took a forkful of the cake and indulged himself in the mouthful, staring out at the river. Once he had swallowed enough of the cake to be able to talk once more, without spraying Albus with a shower of crumbs, "I am sorry that I missed your invitation."

"I sent it to you this morning. I assume this means you have been out here for much of the day? Is there any particular reason for this self-reflection?" Albus prompted, picking at the grass next to his foot, trying not to seem too curious in why Severus had removed himself from the castle.

"I was here last night, too, in fact." Severus answered, fidgeting with his fork, "I needed some time to think. I find that is easiest to do when I cannot be disturbed." He continued to eat his cake, savouring the taste, before returning his gaze to the Headmaster, "I was contemplating my next move in terms of the Dark Lord."

Albus nodded, "I assumed as much. You just have to pretend that nothing is out of the ordinary. He will not want you quivering with fear, he admires you because you are stronger than that. But I understand your concern, Severus, dear. Do you think it is a serious threat?"

It took a while for Severus to answer. He had returned to staring out across the river, eyes focused on a point that was far beyond Albus' world. "One does not know until they have seen the Dark Lord. I cannot judge his mood from afar. And yet, he has not Summoned me for nearly two weeks. Something is amiss here." He shook his head, "I do not know what." He exhaled slowly, finishing his cake and putting the box back down on the grass, "Thank you for the cake, Headmaster."

Albus smiled, "You are very welcome. I am glad you enjoyed it." He fiddled with his robe for a moment, and Severus picked up the nervous, almost anxious behaviour. "Headmaster? Is something the matter?"

Albus glanced at him, "Pardon?"

"You seem distracted, Headmaster. I know you well enough to make such an accusation — with evidence including how you have come all this way to find me, when you know that I often come here to be alone, and that you are picking at your robes as you do when you are uncomfortable — I seem to remember the last time being when you were attempting to ask me to teach Occlumency to Potter." His voice softened slightly, "What is it, Albus?"

Albus looked at him with a sad smile, "You know me as well as I know you. What a pair we make. You are correct. I do have something on my mind, and I did not seek you out simply to give you some chocolate cake. I wanted to talk to you about something."

Severus straightened, sensing that the Headmaster was distressed about something, "Go on."

"But I do not wish to burden you any further — you are already dealing with enough problems of you own, and I worry about…"

"Headmaster!" Severus interrupted, "When has that ever stopped me ranting to you? And even if I have pretended that I do not wish to take up any more of your time, you have insisted that I speak to you. I use the same sentiment now. It would probably do me good to no longer dwell on whether or not the Dark Lord believes I am disloyal. I am not one for offering advice, but I shall attempt to do so to return the favour to you."

"You truly are a good person, Severus. I wish that I was the same…I am concerned that your opinion of me will plummet if I am to tell you my story." Albus answered, and his tone was dark.

"I doubt anything besides you moving Potter into Slytherin would make my opinion of you any lower, Headmaster." Severus answered with a wry smile, "Considering you manipulate me into being a disloyal Death-Eater and blackmail me emotionally into sitting with Black and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix once a fortnight…" He was being light-hearted, but the expression of pure dejection on his Headmaster's face made him trail off involuntarily, "You are starting to concern me, Albus. What is the matter?"

Albus raised his head. "I have a son."

Of all the things Severus had been expecting him to say, that was one of the least likely. He knew, for a moment, his mouth hung open slightly in a very unappealing expression as he tried to process what the Headmaster had just said. "…A…son?"

Albus nodded, turning his face away from Severus.

"Recently? Congratulations." Severus thought that was probably the customary response to such a thing, "I have heard that having a child is a very precious moment…" To his horror, his soft words seemed to have caused tears to well in Albus' eyes — and he was not sure how to react to that, "…Albus?"

Albus shook himself, "Sorry, my boy. It is difficult to hear it said out loud. Not recently, no. It was gone thirty years ago now. When he was born." He looked down at his hands, twisting in his lap. "I abandoned him." His voice had the tiniest of trembles in the syllables, "I left him when he was nothing more than a few hours old."

Severus blinked. This was hard to take in — and also hard for him to comprehend. "You had a son, whom you abandoned?"

"Allow me at least to tell you the whole story, before you judge me, Severus, as I know you will do. As you are right to do, for what I have done is an unforgivable sin. Will you let me tell you what happened?"

Severus nodded, "Of course." Albus had always been one to listen to him, so he owed that as a favour. He was also, despite himself, intrigued. Albus seemed to be above such things as having children — and for him to admit that he had a son, albeit one he did not seem to know…

"It was just after Voldemort's rise to power, in the late nineteen fifties. He had started to become much more violent in his methods, and we were facing great losses on our side. He was gathering followers, and attacking those I cared about. I lost so many friends, allies…desperation and devastation became my shadows as I tried again and again to defeat him, and yet, nothing I could do seemed to even leave its mark on him." Albus shifted position, shaking his head, "I withdrew from the battle to lick my wounds and try to recover from what was happening to me. I became nothing more than a shadow myself — people hardly saw me, and when they did, they saw not a leader. I was trying, but the despair was starting to sink in, like a poison. And as I became less powerful, Voldemort grew stronger." He stood, walking away from Severus, near the river bank. "We duelled. Tom and I. Just us. I defeated him, in that duel, but I did not destroy him. He fled, wounded, but nowhere near dead. I too was injured — but I returned to Hogwarts and the rest of the world triumphant. Tom swore revenge on me, stating that he would find some way to 'get even' before the end." He paused, "And then into my life came Morgan. To this day, I am not sure what she really did. She was just a person, someone I grew attached to, someone who seemed to understand the position I was in. She came to the castle often, and I grew…fond…of her. She did of me, too, and we would spend many nights simply talking. I was weak, Severus, and that was my only excuse for being so foolish. I was…I suppose others would call it depressed. The world was dark to me, Severus, and I desperately needed some light. With Morgan, one thing led to another and…" He trailed off, leaving his meaning clear.

"She came back to me, a month later, to tell me the news. She was carrying a child. It could only be mine. And she wanted to know what I wanted to do." He swallowed, suddenly looking so many times his age. "I wanted a family, Severus. Sometimes, I still do. But I knew it was not to be — so I asked her to hide. To take the child away, and go somewhere that she would be safe. I imagined that I would never hear from her again." He turned back to face Severus, his eyes sparkling with tears that were unshed. "But she wrote me a letter, seven months later. She was ill. Very ill. Carrying the child had weakened her, and she called me to her side, one last time. When I arrived, she was so very weak, Severus. But she wanted me to be there, because it was my child, and she knew that I had some unconscious attachment to the child, because that was the only way it could be. I stayed with her through her final weeks, trying to help her, knowing it would do nothing, calling the medi-witch when the child decided that it was his time." He looked down at his hands, "She died during childbirth. I think I expected it, in the end. But the child survived. My child. My son, in fact." He turned away from Severus so that the other could not see the torment in his face, "I held him, Severus. He was so small, so very tiny, so very vulnerable. He needed to be protected, that, I knew. And in that moment, when I looked into his eyes, I thought that it could work. I could protect him. I was the most powerful wizard of all time, surely I could protect him? But it was not to be. Tom had sworn his revenge, and if word was to get out that I had a child…I knew that child would become a weapon. So I left him with the medi-witch, and disappeared into the night. She doesn't remember I was there…she would only remember this child. And I walked away from him."

Severus sat still, waiting to see if the Headmaster was going to continue his story, or whether it was finished. "You did the right thing." He said finally, "You are correct. The Dark Lord would have stopped at nothing to take that child from you."

"That is what I tried to convince myself, Severus, I tried! I told myself that it was the right thing to do. He was innocent, so very innocent. If he was elsewhere, Tom would never be able to harm him. Yet. I still believe it was unforgivable." Albus sat down heavily, raising his hand and dabbing at his face with his sleeve, seeming surprised that he had shed some of the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

Severus leant forward, "So why is this important now, Headmaster? I understand that it is something that has burdened you, but surely…surely now is not the time to be thinking about such things?"

"I agree. I am heavily involved in the war, and somehow, I must force my mind to be clear. I cannot afford to be distracted. But…I have been considering mortality, recently, Severus. I am not immortal, and I am no longer young. I believe that…perhaps…my role in this war is coming to an end." He raised a hand, "Do not interrupt me, Severus, because you cannot deny the passage of Time or the Ageing of the human body, mind and soul. I know the idea would frighten many of you, but I am not immune to Fate. I have decided that…I want to find him. I want to find him, so I can look into his eyes. I remember his eyes more than anything, Severus, in that one memory I have of him. I remember that they were just like mine. I want to find him. I want to be able to hug him, just once." Albus raised his eyes to Severus', "Will you help me?"

Severus stared at him, "Me?"

"I do not think I can trust another — you are the only one who knows that I have a son, Severus. But I cannot continue to pretend that he does not exist. I believe he has been placed in the Muggle world, because that was what I instructed on the parchment left with the boy. I wanted him to stay out of sight. You must know how someone could track down such a child?"

"Albus — he could be anywhere in the world! You would have to find the medi-witch, find out which orphanage he was placed in — there are thousands of families who may have taken such a child in!" Severus exclaimed, almost incredulous, "It is the same as looking for a needle in a haystack!" He saw something dim in Albus' eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Oh." Albus answered. "I thought it would be as such." He inhaled deeply, "In that case, I kindly ask that you discard what I have said. I must remember that you are caught up in your own thoughts and your own dilemmas, Severus. Please do not think I do not appreciate that. I needed someone to talk to — and you were the first person that I thought of. I thought, perhaps, you would not judge me too harshly."

"Albus. You did the right thing. Had I been in your position, I would have done the same. No child deserves to be brought into a world like that. But I do not believe it will be as simple to find him as you are hoping." He reached out and touched the Headmaster's elbow, "I understand the sentiment. Try, by all means. But you are right that you also have things to be concerned about, Headmaster. You need to focus on the war. We need you." He left the sentence unsaid that would prove he had some sort of emotional dependency upon the Headmaster, and instead just tried to smile in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

Albus nodded, "You are right. Thank you, Severus, I feel better for simply having spoken to you. And now, I think I will leave you read your book. I do not wish to take up too much of your weekend, after all." He pushed himself to his feet, "I take it the cake was to your liking?"

"It was indeed, Headmaster." Severus picked up his book, "I shall see you at dinner."

Albus walked away, leaving Severus staring at the pages of his book. But the words were not going in. His mind had wandered. Was it possible to find the medi-witch that Albus spoke of? Possibly, if he looked through the records, found those that would have been near to the area at the time…then he could ask if she had ever been left to deal with a child she did not recognise…he sat up straight. Surely that was possible.

"Damn it, Snape." He whispered. He should leave well alone. This was not his life, after all. This was between Albus and his son. But still…if he were in this situation, Albus would move mountains for him.

He stood, gathered his books and other things, and headed for the castle.