Ice (Nameless) – Ishuca

Ishucachan clenched his numb little fingers around the shovel's handle. It was annoying, his breath made white by the cold covered his huge glasses with pale, opaque steam, but Ishucachan knew that if he took them off, he would probably lose his way and end up in some hole, and the Miss of the orphanage would be very worried. It was wrong to worry the nice miss that take such good care of him, even though he was a forgotten child, without parents to give him a birthday or a name. That's what said the madam sometimes. 'Poor kid, he has not even a name…' The child didn't know what they meant. Of course he had a name, he thought in wonder. He was Ishucachan. Cain and the nice miss always called him that.

And just this morning, the nice miss said: 'Good morning, Ishuca-chan!' then 'Sanjeechan, it's your turn to clear the ground.' But of course, the tall brown-haired boy, the elder of the dormitory, had put the shovel in sleepy Ishucachan's little hands and said, 'Heard? Hurry up!' So maybe only the kind Miss Nurse called him that. Maybe it was a nickname, and that was why the other boys never called him. They said 'Hey, you' or 'Hey, the brat'. And then 'Go clear the ground!'

Clear the ground. From November to March, the little orphanage, far in the north, was submerged by ice and snow, and the kids had to clear it. The people in the orphanage said that evil creatures might be hiding in the white snow. Hideous things that sometimes stole a child, who would be found a few days later lifeless in a block of ice.

Ishucachan had a hard time imagining that evil creatures could hide in something pure and beautiful like snow. He had a hard time picturing such thing as 'evil creature', to begin with. They had to be terribly beautiful, with graceful yet strong bodies, and pale faces, and eyes that seemed translucent, he dreamt. With wings like clouds, and movements that looked like falling rain. Beautiful. Just like the snow. He was more afraid of the snow than of whatever was hiding in it. Because he had very bad eyesight, whenever the snow turned the world in white infinity, he always got lost. Sometimes he felt like the snow was trying to take him away. Now and then he'd wake up, completely numb, whereas the nice miss was rubbing him with a blanket. 'You fell again, Ishuca-chan, you were almost covered with snow!' Ishucachan never remembered the moment when he fell in a hole or got trapped, so all he could notice is that ice was something that made people unhappy.

It was wrong to make people unhappy, Ishucachan believed. So this time, I won't fall, I won't trip. He pushed the heavy shovel in the hostile snow and removed one more step worth of blankness, under which was the stone of the alley. As he shovelled up more and more snow, his mind began to wander in the pale immensity in front of him. It looked like the end of the world, where there was no border between sky and ground. In this end of the world, there were evil pure creatures to which he was not to give his name. But I have no name, though Ishucachan, a bit puzzled. They said I had no name. They can't steal me, because there's nothing to steal. What has no name has no existence either, Ishucachan knew that. When you befriend someone, you tell them how to call you, so that you can come when it's needed. A family name shows that you are related to some people, and belong to them. But if you have no name…

'Ishucachan! Ishucachan!'

The voice belonged to the nice Miss, who was waving her hand at him.

'There's someone that wants to see you!'

She grabbed his gloved tiny hand and dragged him to the main building. 'Ishucachan! Hurry up, it's important!'

She took him in the office where only adults usually entered. There was a rather old lady sat in an armchair, or at least, Ishucachan supposed she was old, since she had wrinkles; but somehow, her vivid eyes and smile seemed so young he couldn't tell. The madam of the orphanage said, 'Lake Sierra-san, this is your grandson Ishuca.'

Ishuca understood she was talking of him, and was a bit hurt that she didn't recall his name, although he didn't even had a full one. 'But madam' he said timidly, 'my name is Ishucachan…' Then the old lady and the madam laughed, and the nice miss tousled his fire-coloured hair. The madam was still grinning when she said, 'today, Ishucachan, is an important day. This lady is your grandmother.' Ishucachan looked at her. 'Excuse me… She is a beautiful and elegant lady but, I don't mean to be rude but, she is not very grand…', he said, blushing at his own boldness. This caused another burst of laugh. Ishucachan was starting to think he should definitely remain silent until it was over. 'Grandmother means' said the old lady with a pleasant clear voice, 'that I am the mother of your mother.' Ishuca flushed to the point of being the same colour as his hair. 'Ibegyourpardon' he mumbled, staring at the carpet as if it was the most remarkable thing he ever had the chance to see. When he dared to raise his eyes, the old lady was looking at him fondly, and he felt a sudden desire to rest his head on her lap. That's when he grasped the second part of the word 'grandmother'. Mother. That was related to family. His grandmother?

'Therefore' the madam went on, 'she has come to take you in her house, who will become yours, and to share her name with you.' Ishucachan didn't hear what followed. He knew some children were sometimes given a name and a house, like his dear friend Cain. Cain was a very kind person. He always defended Ishucachan and even did chores in his place at times, even though Ishucachan told him not to. They had had a lot of fun together. Ishucachan trusted and loved Cain a lot, and it seemed natural to him that people loved him too. It was natural that a child as kind, as brave, as clever as Cain was adopted by nice parents. But Ishucachan never hoped someone would ever choose him, since not even the creatures-people of the snow cared to take away the easy prey he was. He never thought it was unfair that he had no one to care and no place to go, and not even a name to be called with. He merely accepted that he was not worth such happiness. And now, that elegant lady had come especially for him. She had asked to see him, Ishucachan the little one, and no other. He tried to say thank you and felt like he was about to cry. That's no good, I can't cry now, the lady will think I'm not happy and she'll leave! Fortunately, the nice miss saved him. 'Ishucachan, shouldn't you prepare your things?' Ishucachan dashed out, ran to the dormitory, knowing that most of what he possessed, he was wearing it at the moment. He sat on the bed, a bit bewildered. He wondered if the lady was a creature-person of ice. After all, her hair was the colour of snow. But Ishucachan knew he was bewitched already. He would follow her to the end of the world, to the invisible border between sky and earth.

It was indeed a long way to 'home', but not to that point. After a few days, Ishucachan hadn't been eaten and assumed he wouldn't be. 'We'll be home soon, Ishuca. It will be your home, and you will be my child', she said. She held his hand in hers, guiding him through the snow. She smiled warmly at him, but Ishucachan could feel a hint of sorrow in her smile. But he knew that it would be even sadder to ask. 'I will give you my name. It's a bit long, but I love it and treasure it, because it was given to me by someone I love. I hope you will do so, as well. You promise?' Ishucachan promised wholeheartedly. He knew a promise was a serious thing that can hurt people when it's broken, but he also knew he could only cherish a name given to him by a fairy grandmother-lady.

'So now, Ishucachan, your name is Ishuca Lake Sierra Vise Ell.'

'Lake Sierra Vise Ell', he repeated. In the white snow, in the warmth of the lady's proximity, it seemed even more eerie and even more precious, as if the wind could take it away.

'That's it. That's us. And 'Ishuca', it's you only.'

'Ishuca. Thank you so much, lady grandmother.'

The elder woman laughed again, but this time Ishuca didn't feel stupid. The lady's laugh was the most pleasant thing he had ever heard. So he'd talk and made her laugh again, so maybe he would deserve the affection he received.

'Ba-chan will suffice, Ishuca.'

'Did you take the 'chan' part of my name to add it on yours, Ba-chan?' the boy asked, delighted with that favour. Causing more laughing that delighted him even more.

Ishuca paced in the house like a kitten discovering a new territory. There was a huge room with a large bed for him upstairs, and a big tub in the bathroom, and a lovely kitchen, and cushions on the chairs, and many many books with colourful pictures, and pretty things on shelves, decorated lamps, and a sofa. He was about to launch the exploration of the cellar, when Ba-chan grabbed him in extremis by the collar of his coat. 'You'll have plenty of time to see there later, Ishuca, the house isn't going anywhere! You'll catch a cold if you don't take a bath.' Once bathed, dried, warmed up, and cloaked in soft pyjamas –pyjamas he was lost in, since Ba-chan didn't figure out she'd be back with such a small child-,

Ishuca sat on Ba-chan's lap, focusing on stopping his legs from swinging as she combed his damp hair. After a while, she stopped, and hugged him close. The child stared a while at the flames in the fireplace, daydreaming. It felt good to be here. The fireplace itself was a marvel. He wondered if there were creatures-people in the fire as well, since the flames seemed to dance like living beings. When he looked up at his grandma to ask her, she had those poignant eyes again. She looked through the window into the dark night, and despite the warmth in the house, Ishuca felt a bit cold inside. As if there was ice around his grandma's heart, and it was passing to him. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't want to do anything awkward, so he curled up and remained here motionless, trying his best to share his own bliss to his one dear person. But it seemed he had not the power to heal such wounds.

So that night, in his vast bed, Ishuca looked at the sky and prayed to the pale moon, 'O-tsuki-sama, give me the power to melt ice.'