My head was hurting, my eyes were drifting shut and the last thing I wanted to do on a Monday afternoon was spend time with Maisie Hornswaggle. Yet, here I was walking along the Charms corridor with her and hating my life. I'd changed my hair to a navy blue this afternoon – perhaps in mourning of the times where I didn't have to spend my free time in the company of Maisie. Alas, listening to her complete drivel was my life now. I wondered if the teachers could see through her bullshit.
Clearly Clearwater couldn't, as we were both welcomed into her office in a very overly enthusiastic manner. She beckoned us through the door and I winced at her peppiness. When McGonagall was head her dry and sarcastic nature resonated with me and I felt her bearable and even likable. She'd now resumed her old post for her last few years of Hogwarts and Professor Clearwater had taken over. She was about 40 years old with greying dishwater blonde hair and kind blue eyes. She always wore deep purple, velvet robes and she was probably the most excited head teacher Hogwarts had ever had. She waved her wand and cups of tea began to be made. Maisie and I sat in front of her desk in two huge purple and gold chairs.
"Thank you for seeing me today," Professor Clearwater said, smiling down at both of us. I mentally noted that we had no choice but to see her today. I then felt rude for thinking that. Being tired makes me sassy. "As you know, we don't take the role of Head Boy and Head Girl lightly at Hogwarts. You have to be role models for the rest of the pupils, you are in charge of a platoon of prefects and you are a connection between the student body and the staff. If there's ill-feeling, we are to know. As you two have been chosen above everyone else in the year group, we expect outstanding behaviour and grade maintaining. If you slip below average in either of these departments, we'll have to have a serious talk about your position."
I took a sharp breath. Grades would not be an issue for me but my mind reverted back to yesterday. Dan and Greg's words of warning echoed in my overly-exhausted mind. Victorie got me into trouble a lot. This was something I could not afford. Apparently, my dramatic inhale had caught the attention of Maisie and Clearwater, who looked at me with expectant eyes.
"Is there a problem, Mr Lupin?"
"I – uh – no," I said, embarrassed. It took every fibre of my being to stop my hair from turning red.
"Good," Professor Clearwater continued, "I wouldn't have expected there to be."
"You know there won't be an issue with me, Professor," Maisie said, a sweet smile sprawled sickeningly across her thin lips.
"Or me," I added quickly, in order to defend myself.
"I know," Professor Clearwater said with a confident grin, "I picked you both for a reason, remember."
And what reason is that? Any reason you picked Maisie over Pippa? I try not to be bitter about it. I assure myself it's just the stresses of the first day back talking. I'm too sassy for words tonight. Maisie shot me a disgruntled look and for a second I am worried that I said something out loud but I realised quickly that I'd be getting a much louder reaction if that was the case.
"Well, Professor, as I said to the girls on the Chudley Canons team this year, I'm up for the challenge," Maisie said brightly, turning back to Clearwater.
"I thought it was the Harpies," I stated, dully.
Maisie froze. "No, it was the Canons."
You mean it was made up, Maisie. That's what you mean. Is compulsive lying a good trait for a Head Girl to have?
Professor Clearwater ignored the frictional exchange. "That's good to hear, Maisie. I hope you two will have all the successes that last year's head boy and girl had."
The ones that got married? Not likely. Maisie beamed at me and I looked away.
I warn you now, tired Teddy Lupin is my least favourite Teddy Lupin. I get rude, angsty and agitated. Tired Teddy Lupin is the biggest asshole you'll ever meet but, as I am too tired for confrontation, the rudeness only occurs in my head. Tired Teddy Lupin is my dirty little secret. Maisie tests my patience as we walk down the stairs out of Clearwater's office and along the corridor down to the Great Hall.
"I feel like all those warnings were aimed at you," Maisie said. If her nose could get any higher in the air, she'd be on her back.
"Of course you do," I sighed, willing the castle to get smaller so I'd have to endure her for less time.
"Well, don't you?" Maisie asked, genuinely confused.
"No, not especially," I mumbled.
"I've got a clean record, Teddy," Maisie is a little too happy about all of this, "I hate to remind you that you do not. How many detentions was it last year?" I didn't answer but this seemed to spur Maisie on even more. Winning with this girl was impossible. "Two, was it? Yes, as I recall one was for dumping water over Professor Chang and the other was for being caught in the kitchens after hours."
I scowled at her. "None of those were my fault."
"I know," Maisie said, brightly.
"Do you want me to lose my position or something?" I asked, an angry tone taking an edge to my voice.
"It's desirable for me, yes," Maisie replied, nonchalantly.
"How? You can't be Head Boy as well! You're missing one vital thing to make that possible," I snapped.
Maisie blushed. Apparently just inferring that she didn't have a penis crossed a line. "If you're not Head Boy, I can rule the school."
I scoffed. "You can't be serious. Maisie, you'd be in charge of eight fifth years and evening patrols of the corridors. What could you possibly want with that power?" I thought it was just compulsive lying and an overly competitive nature but no, bitch was also crazy.
"It's more power than you'd have," Maisie pointed out.
"Well, we might as well start calling you The Dark Lord," I grumbled.
Maisie shot me a glare. "It's not a crime to want more power."
"You know, I think you're actually stealing lines from Voldemort now."
Exasperated, Maisie turned on her heels and stormed a way leaving me to breathe a very heavy sigh of relief.
The breath was then knocked out of me again as a blonde whirlwind ran up behind me and jumped on my back, winding me with her calves and getting her apple-scented platinum hair in my eyes. "Oi, you maniac! Get off me!"
All I could hear in my ears was manic, breathless giggling. "Guess who!"
"Oh gee," I said, sarcastically, "I wonder who it could be! Maisie, is that you?"
I received a slap for that one. "C'mon, wolf boy. Don't be crabby."
"It's difficult when you're on my back!" I snapped, "And don't call me wolf boy. It's demeaning."
"God, you are crabby today. What did Maisie do to you?" Victorie Weasley hopped off my back and walked by the side of me. She was a whole head shorter than me, if not more. I looked down at her and she smiled up at me. Vic always had a smile on her face. That's what I liked about her.
"She didn't do anything especially - but I actually fear for my life," I said, shuddering, "That girl is power-crazed. She told me she wanted to get me out of my Head Boy position so she could be the omnipotent Head Pupil."
"Okay, you need to stop using fancy words around me, Ted," Victorie said, "because I can blag it and pretend to know what they mean but it's easier for the both of us if you just avoid using them around me altogether."
I rolled my eyes. Thank Merlin she's not taller otherwise I'd never hear the end of that. I get a lot of pleasure out of discreet eye rolls that Victorie can't see. "Which word was it that you were having difficulties with then? Was it 'position', 'pupil', or 'head?'"
Victorie scoffed, slapping me with the back of her hand. "You know what word it was, you arse. And trust me, I know what head is."
Making Things Weirdly Sexual: A Guide by Victorie Weasley hits the shelves this week. Make sure you look out for it.
"I'm surprised, since you seem to having nothing but air in yours," I replied, dryly. Victorie gasped in mock offence. "Omnipotent means all-powerful, by the way."
"Wow, she'd be in charge of some prefects and the hallways after eight p.m," Victorie said, with a cold laugh.
"That's exactly what I said," I mumbled, pushing open to the doors to the Great Hall, which was teeming with life in front of us.
"Ew, we're so alike," Victorie smirked, "I better go find the girls. Day One and they're driving me mad. Why do I feel the need for female companionship?"
"See you later, loser," I said, scanning the hall for Dan and Greg and feeling slightly disheartened when I saw that they were sat with some of the Gryffindor Quidditch boys. Rating the female population of Hogwarts and jokes about balls was the last thing I needed tonight.
"Bye, toss-piece."
Reluctantly, I walked towards the end of the Gryffindor table and slid down into a spare seat next to Greg. Dan was the otherside of Greg and opposite us were Dayton Holt and Jacques Greene, twin brother of the illusive Phillipa. (AKA: the love of Greg's life, other than Draught of Living Death, obviously.)
"Alright, Lupin," Dayton said, as I took my seat. "Congratulations on getting Head Boy."
"Thanks," I mumbled, managing a smile.
"Saw you and Victorie Weasley over there. Is she seeing anyone, do you know?" Dayton asked, coyly. Wow, subtle. I knew that a lot of the 'lads' in our year fancied Victorie but they could at least hide the fact that they're only being pleasant to me so that I'll introduce them. It always put me in a remarkably awkward position.
"Not currently," I said, my lips pressed into a thin line. I helped myself to a helping of the buttery curry that was in front of me.
"Sweet," Dayton said, with a low whistle. "She's a definite ten."
"Agreed," Jacques leered, "I'd do her."
Greg shifted next to me. I could feel he was just as uncomfortable as I was. Tired Teddy was screaming and fighting to say something sassy. Responsible, Head Boy Teddy knew better and bit his tongue.
"Sweet ass, sweet face," Dayton licked his lips hungrily, "I'd have her screaming."
Yeah, you would. Screaming and running in the other direction, that is.
"Oh please! You couldn't even make a Mandrake scream!" Jacques snorted and Dan, Greg and I laughed with him on this.
"Lupin, you'd know this," Dayton said brightly, ignoring Jacques' comment. "Is she part Veela? Cos that's what I'd heard."
"Uh – yeah," I replied, curiously.
"Oh, good. I can kill two birds with one stone," Dayton said, a grotesque smirk dancing across his lips.
"What do you mean?" I asked, quietly.
"Well, I have 'Fuck Victorie Weasley' and 'Fuck a Veela' on my bucket list," Dayton laughed coldly and I shot him my best 'werewolf death stare'. "It'd be great to cross of two on one day."
"She's not an object," I protested.
"Sorry?" Dayton looked up at me, meeting my steely glare.
"Victorie is a person – with feelings!" Dan piped up, "It's not very nice to treat her like she's a piece of meat."
"Yeah," Greg said, lamely. Glad you're here, Greg.
I didn't drop my gaze. "She's our friend. I don't really like hearing you talking about her like that."
"Sorry, I didn't realise," Dayton grumbled, clearly lying. This whole conversation started because he knew that we were her friends. I glowered. Dayton looked pretty uncomfortable.
Thankfully, Greg shifted the conversation on to Quidditch before I had the chance to get any angrier. I ate my curry in silence, steaming. I wished Victorie had over-heard that. She would have hexed him all the way to France. Man, I'd love to see that.
After dinner, Dan and Greg suggest we go for a walk around the grounds, reminding me that this weather is too good to last. I caught Maisie on the way out – something that would have to become a regular occurrence for me – and told her that she'd have to assign the prefects to their posts tonight as I had official business to do. This seemed to fluster her. The desired effect.
The boys and I walked out of the entrance hall and into the courtyard, down the front steps and across the grass to Hagrid's Hut. We all knew where we were going – we didn't even need to discuss it. Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures professor and gamekeeper at Hogwarts, was an old family friend and I'd known him ever since I was a baby. Now, by association, he also knew Dan and Greg reasonably well, although he did often confuse them and get their names wrong.
I knocked on the door of his hut three times. The sun was beginning to set and dappled sunlight danced on the dark, wooden panels. The door swung open in front of me and I was faced with Hagrid, a beardy half giant that you wouldn't want to meet down a dark alley -unless you were aware of his sweet disposition. Hagrid's once black beard was greying but his eyes were still shiny, wide and as sparkly as ever.
"'Ello Teddy! Dan! Greg! Wha' brings you 'ere?" Hagrid asked, his booming voice resonating through our bodies.
"We just fancied a chat, if you're not busy," I said, as Hagrid beckoned us into his home.
"I'm not busy! Wha' is there really to do on the firs' day back?" Hagrid laughed.
"Trust me, you have no idea," I grumbled, taking a seat on one of his oversized armchairs. There was a time when Dan, Greg and I could fit on one between three of us but now it just sat two of us (today was Greg and I) and Dan sat on a kitchen chair which Hagrid pulled up to be next to the fire.
"Is it stressful an' tha' being 'ead Boy then?" Hagrid bellowed, his laugh shaking the table and making Greg look uneasy.
"More than you could imagine," I sighed and began to tell Hagrid my tales of woe about my full day of lessons – practically unheard of in the seventh year – and then my run-in with Maisie Hornswaggle.
"Oh yer, I teach 'er! Funny ol' thing, she is! Told me she 'ad a pet skrewt! Never 'ave I 'eard such codswallop in all me life!" Hagrid exclaimed.
"That's not all the lies she tells," Dan added, and explained to Hagrid about the time that Maisie had whipped up hysteria about Professor Chang conspiring against her, just because she was given 98 out of 100 on a practice NEWT exam.
"Well, Teddy, I'm sorry you have ter put up with the likes of 'er!"
Evidentially there were some teachers that could see through Maisie's bullshit. I drained the dregs of my tea and placed my dainty teacup – rather a juxtaposition of Hagrid – on the coffee table. Hagrid began recounting a story about a first year and a Hinkypunk and I drifted off, thinking about what this year at Hogwarts was going to be like. I didn't think I could stand spending any more time with Maisie this year and it had only been the first day.
We said our farewells to Hagrid and set off back up to the castle. Dan was loudly complaining about Dayton Holt. "He thinks that just because he plays Quidditch for Gryffindor that he can say anything he wants to. You know, Teddy, you better tell James to watch out for his little brother, Tobias. Apparently he's in the second year and is just as bad."
"Noted," I said, nonchalantly.
I didn't know much about what this year would bring but I did know one thing for sure: I really needed some sleep.
AN: Hiya! Thanks for reading so far! I hope this was somewhat funny! I'm trying not to make this fic too serious but not overly silly. Thoughts on the new characters? Dayton seems kinda rude, huh? Updates will be every Tuesday (workload permitting) so see you then!
