Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon.
- - - - - Chapter 2: Porcelain Doll - - - - -
"T-Toby… Wait a second! What…"
"Shh…" He whispered, sending butterfly kisses down my cheeks and neck.
I felt my body trembling and it wasn't because I was cold – cliché, I know. Toby's grazing lips and exploring hands had me both afraid and in utter and complete awe. The fact that it felt that he was so skillful and masterful at this had my body mesmerized – it just felt way too perfect. My eyelids felt heavy and I couldn't bring myself to make them open… and I didn't want to.
In fear that if I did open them, and I was dreaming – I would probably cry.
And as much as my mind was telling me to just scream 'stop!' I couldn't bring myself to do it… Something about this was telling me that it was very, very wrong… But I've been waiting for his love for so long now, I just…
What do you do when the man you love is giving himself to you?
I couldn't give this moment up. The fact that Toby, my Toby, was giving himself into me… was enough to make my fragile heart burst. It was my opportunity to make him truly mine, and I wasn't going to let this moment in time slip.
Call me a fool in love, but I just couldn't let this go. I couldn't, and I wouldn't.
The bed below us gave out gentle creaking and squeaks as Toby carefully pulled my blouse up, over my head, tossing it carelessly to the floor. He traced his warm hand down my rib cage and formed hypnotizing circles around my belly button.
"Alice…"
I moaned quietly as our lips locked and he carefully and gently began undoing my pants and slipped them off with quick success. He broke our kiss and I could feel his eyes burning holes into my body – and it wasn't exactly the most comfortable feeling in the world.
I shifted my naked legs absentmindedly, forcing them together closer. I opened my eyes slowly, to watch him lean down to kiss my hip bone repeatedly. The sensation sent goose bumps crawling over my skin and I heard him emit a small chuckle.
"What's… so funny?" I mumbled, blushing.
"You're just so innocent, it's cute."
I frowned slightly.
…Innocent? Then what was he?
He motioned me to sit upright, and I did without a moment's hesitation. He leaned in closer to me, unhooked my bra without any difficulty, and tossed that carelessly to the floor as well.
I could feel my cheeks burning, and I instinctively covered my breasts with folded arms.
"Don't do that," he murmured. "They're beautiful."
I felt myself trembling again as he gently eased my body back down into the cozy mattress as he began slipping my underwear off as well. I shut my eyes tight out of embarrassment, hoping meekly that I was pleasing enough to the eye.
I mean, it's not that I was fat or anything… it's just that I'm so short and I probably looked that much shorter naked. This is probably why I prefer wearing skinnier, fit jeans to make my legs appear longer.
The weight of his body left the bed and I opened my eyes carefully and peered to the left of me, to watch Toby undress himself fully and completely.
My face burned and I felt a little dizzy and woozy from watching him undress – each article of clothing, dropping to the floor, one by one… until he was stark naked in front of me.
"Alice…"
He got back onto the bed, his body hovering directly over mine. I whimpered slightly as he began nibbling and sucking every crevice of my body.
"Your skin is so soft."
I woke up slowly, breathing in and out deeply, recollecting what had happened just a little earlier. I smiled to myself, and emit a childish and very girly giggle.
Toby made love to me…
The dumb smile on my face only grew bigger as I shifted my head to where Toby was sleeping, only to see that he wasn't there. Surprised, I sat up like a bolt and looked around my tiny room desperately, to catch a single glance of his silver head.
…
His clothes were no longer on the ground, and the part of the bed that he had been lying on, was cold… no signs of human warmth.
My heart ached – feelings of hurt and sadness jabbed mercilessly at it. I felt like I was choking, that something was squeezing my heart and I couldn't breathe.
Why… did he leave? No note… No goodbye?
I removed the covers from my naked and vulnerable body from the bed, to see a fresh stain of blood. I ran my fingers over it, to see how wet or dry it was – and much to my dismay, it was already bone dry. I cursed idly under my breath… hoping that I'd be able to get the rotten stain out.
And then I cried, not out of bitterness or anger, but because I felt so alone. I didn't understand… why he would always show up out of the blue and be so sweet and loving towards me, and then just leave…
Just like that. Without a care in the world. As if I was some little doll that you can put on the shelf after you were done playing with it.
Why was I so surprised? I already knew all of this… So why was I so in shock?
Honestly, it was quite stupid really. What was I expecting? His undying love and appreciation of me? Him to never leave my side?
Just because I gave him my virginity?
Of course not… I should have known.
"…Sex won't make him love you, and a baby won't make him stay."
4:53pm.
"Chase's break is almost over… I completely forgot about it," I mumbled to myself. "I hope he isn't too upset…"
I was still naked, lying in my bed, like a motionless, little zombie.
For the past five, pathetic hours.
I'm so pathetic… I am so god damn pathetic. I don't blame Toby for being the way he is with me. Honestly, who would want a ditzy and clumsy girl like me?
I groaned as I hit my head against the wall repeatedly, until it felt as if a bruise was going to form. I sighed and pressed my cold palm to soothe the redness of my forehead.
Kicking my legs off the bed, I let them dangle there for a while before I mentally decided it was time to heave myself onto the cold, wooden floor. I bent over carefully to pick up all my clothes off the floor and threw them carelessly into the hamper, not caring that my bra missed and tumbled to the floor.
I walked into my bathroom, flicked the light switch on, and began running shower water without bothering to look at my sorry self in the mirror.
Deciding the water was at the perfect temperature, I stepped into my bathtub and faced the shower head to let the hot water soak and nurture my swollen body. I hugged myself and looked down at the drain, my thoughts flooding back to him.
I always imagined that Toby was the type of man to make love gently and slowly – and yet, he was the exact opposite. I mean, based on his appearance and personality… he's always so calm and laid-back… who would have honestly thought that about him?
It wasn't necessarily bad… but it wasn't what I was hoping for for my first time.
I traced back to every movement and touch he had made. Constant sucking everywhere imaginable and I had the ugly hickeys to prove it. And despite my pleas of him to be gentle, his idea of 'gentle' was fast, rough, and hard. In fact, it didn't feel good for a single second. My hymen tearing was probably one of the most uncomfortable pains I've ever had to witness and bare.
But despite the discomfort… the fact that he was there, with me, loving me… was enough to make me the happiest woman in the world.
I sighed.
I absentmindedly let my finger trace constantly over a fresh hickey on my breast – it hurt badly enough without me even having to touch it. But the fact that I had any imperfections on my body at all made me nauseous.
If anything, I hated hickeys. And I could never understand how men got pleasure out of giving their lover a disgusting-looking bruise. But the fact that it was Toby who was the one giving them to me, made it not matter just as much…
I carefully looked down at my body and slightly winced at the sight of the blue and yellow bruises that seemed to be everywhere, tarnishing my pale skin.
"I should have taken a bath instead…" I mumbled barely audible.
The water kind of hurts…
I sighed dully as I reached for the shampoo bottle. I squeezed a bit of the silky, white shampoo into the palm of my hand and began massaging it into my scalp gently.
The fresh, sweet smell of honeydew.
I rinsed out the foamy bubbles and went onto the next thing: body wash.
I squeezed some out onto my yellow scrub and began rubbing it gently over my skin, trying not to cause any further pain. Instead of pain, it actually felt nice and pleasant. The soft foamy bubbles clutching onto my skin, only to be washed away by strong pelts of water.
I rinsed the remaining bubbles off as soon as I finished covering my entire body and shut the water off, grabbed a towel to wrap myself with, and stepped out of the tub.
Removing the towel from my body once it was dry enough, I used it to dry out my hair and to soak up all of the beads of water that dripped off the ends. I opened the door to un-fog my bathroom mirror and waited patiently, blow-drying my wet, brown hair.
Satisfied with how dry my hair was, I grabbed a comb and began parting it and getting rid of all the small tangles and knots.
Once done, I looked at myself in the mirror and winced slightly at my reflection. I was actually kind of disgusted to look at the ugly person I saw.
Her hazel, brown eyes were swollen and puffy from crying and were incredulously blood-shot. Her cheeks were pale with no sign of their usual rosiness and ugly bruises could easily be seen on her chest and neck.
Crap… Luna and Chase are going to kill me. Maybe I should wear a scarf? Dang it, it's spring…
I looked over to my clock again and it was nearly 6pm. I sighed and noted that if I was ever going to talk to Chase, it would have to be at midnight – when his shift was over.
And there was no way I was going to be able to last that late – both mentally and physically.
I groaned and kicked the nearest wall and decided to head for the Tailor Shop to see Luna.
It was probably a death wish. No, wait, I take that back. It was a death wish. But I couldn't hold out until tomorrow to talk to anyone.
"ALICE!" Luna cried. "What the heck happened to you?"
"W-What do you mean?" I asked, startled. "Don't I get a nice and calm hello?"
"Don't play stupid! What are you doing with those hickeys on your neck! You can't walk around like that! Didn't you put any cover-up on?!"
"I-I tried that… I mean, I did," I mumbled.
The little pink-haired girl simply glared at me. "I don't believe you."
"I did! I promise I did!"
"I meant… Oh, never mind," she huffed. "Let's go into my room."
"O-Okay…"
I followed her lead and was grateful that her grandmother wasn't at the register – probably out shopping? She probably would have had a hernia from the pathetic sight that I was.
We entered the kitchen first, where Candace and Julius were talking and laughing. And it all suddenly ceased as they noticed that Luna and I were both present.
"Hi Candy, hi Julie…" I said, smiling.
"Hey, Alice!" Julius responded, smiling as well. "I wasn't sure if that was you for a second. You look like you just saw a ghost or something!"
Luna growled and simply told him to shut up, and it was amusing to watch him stifle his laughter as the two of them bickered back and forth.
I couldn't help but laugh slightly either though. Luna was always so cute when she was mad. It was kind of hard not to tease her.
"A-Are you okay, Alice?" Candace asked.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I replied, still smiling.
Before Candace had time to input anything else, Luna sharply said: "Enough chit-chat. Let's go, Alice."
"Okay. I'll be back in a few! Candy, I want to talk to you about that new dress that you've been making for me."
Candace smiled and nodded as Luna shoved me down the hallway, down into her vibrantly colored, pink and purple room.
"Alice… What the heck happened? I thought you didn't like hickeys! What is this nonsense?!" Luna said angrily.
"I know… I know I don't. But Toby…"
"…Toby?" Luna responded coldly, resting her hands on her hips.
"T-Toby… Came by earlier today… And we um…"
"…And you?"
…
"M-Made… love…" I said barely audibly.
I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment as I couldn't hide the blush from Luna's deafening glare.
Silence.
"L-Luna?" I peeked through the crevices of my fingers to see her expression.
It was blank.
Actually, it was kind of funny. And I would have laughed if I knew she wasn't about to scold me.
"Are you stupid?! What the HELL, Alice! Why would you go and do something stupid like that! Don't you realize that he's cheating on you?!"
"I-I am not stupid and he's not cheating on me! There's no way… Renee and him broke up before we started dating."
Luna groaned and slapped her hand to her face. She then let out a long, droned out sigh before continuing.
"Ugh. You just don't get it! Why do you have to be so innocent? You've had boyfriends before! And what did each one of them do to you in the end?"
"Cheat on me…" I mumbled.
"That's right. And what makes you think Toby is any different? Just because he isn't some city slicker like the rest of your boyfriends doesn't mean us country folk don't have cheating tendencies either!"
I sighed and nodded.
Luna was always right.
"He promised me he'd never hurt me though…"
"And that's your problem! You're way too trusting! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he's cheating on you," she scolded. "Ask anyone! In fact, you should go ask Julius. He's the one who told me he saw Toby and Renee holding hands this afternoon."
"…What?"
- - - - - End: Porcelain Doll - - - - -
I'm sorry I didn't turn this into a lemon, but I don't feel like making this story "M" just yet. :3
But remember girlies! Sex won't make him love you. :D
Review loveys!
- Tara
