Title - Punk and Disorderly by Stick-Em-Up-Punk

Rating - T (for language)

Warnings - Mild Slash, don't like it, don't read it!

Reviews - Yes please!

4 hours later

Vyvyan crashes through the front door, obviously drunk.

Rick, Neil and Mike are sat at the table. Rick is sulking, Neil looks ready to commit suicide (as usual) and Mike is reading the paper.

"Hello everybody!" Vyvyan greets in his usual screetch

"Alright Vyv" Mike replies looking up briefly from his paper, "Hello Vyvyan..." Neil says nervously, he hates it when the punk gets pissed, he's even more unpredictable than usual and that makes him a dangerous person for the hippy to be around.

"Vyvyan." Rick snaps as way of greeting.

"What's up with you lot? You should've come down the pub, it was great!" Vyvyan says excitedly. "We all got pissed and decided to cut Psycho Dan's ear off! Look!" he gets a severed ear out of his pocket and waves it at them, "Completely brilliant!"

"Vyvyan that's really uncool man...you know I'm vegetarian." Neil objects, shuffling his seat closer to Mike's.

Rick just looks at his house mate with disgust, "I'm going to read." he states, getting up, pushing past Vyvyan and going upstairs.

"What's up with him?" Vyv asks, trying to sound uninterested.

Mike looks up, "Could be something to do with the row you two had this morning?" he says in his usual calm tone.

Vyvyan looks taken aback for a moment, then the usual glower appears. "What row, Mike?!"

"Vyvyan, we know there's something going on between you and Rick...it's obvious." Mike states

"I think I'm going to go to my room for a bit..." Neil interjects, trying to get away from the enraged punk.

"No you're not Neil! Sit down!" Vyvyan barks, putting himself well inside Neil's personal space. The hippy immediately obliges.

"What do you mean, 'something going on'?" He yells, returning his attention to Mike.

Mike knows Vyvyan won't hurt him intentionally. There's an unspoken understanding and respect between the two. "Look, there's no need to get shirty, Vyv, it's fine."

"Yeah Vyv, free love-" Neil starts but is cut off by a plate being smashed over his head.

Rick has heard all the shouting, though it's muffled and decides to go and see what the fuss is about. He's halfway downstairs when he hears...

"Look Mike, there is nothing going on between me and Prick! I wouldn't touch that bogey-bum with anything but a cricket bat!" Vyvyan shouts

"Alright, Vyv...Okay, our mistake." He says, gesturing to himself and an unconcious Neil. "But it's nothing to be ashamed of." He adds.

"I'm not ashamed Michael!--" the punk starts

"Yes you are Vyvyan!" Rick blurts out, storming into the front room. "I hate you, you know that!?"

"I'm off, the only screaming I'm used to in domestic situations are the ones that mean you're doing something right." Mike says to the camera and goes upstairs.

"Well that's fine, cos I hate you as well!" Vyvyan counters

"You're a selfish bastard!"

"Ha! I'm selfish?! What about you, you total girlie!" the punk screams, "You're the one who woke Mike and Neil up this morning, with your fat gob!"

"Me!? Listen to yourself! I bet people the other side of town can hear--" Rick starts but is cut off by Vyvyan pressing him against the wall and kissing him. Rick makes feeble attempts to push Vyv off at first but soon stops, kissing back just as passionately. Then they hear...

Neil clears his throat, "I'm not looking guys, okay...I didn't see anything..." he puts his hands up to his face like blinkers and edges his way out the kitchin towards the stairs.

Vyvyan ignores Neil in favour of kissing Rick and putting his leg inbetween the anarchist's, smirking when Rick begins to grind himself against his thigh. When Vyvyan allows Rick a breather, he's met with a glare.

"Don't think this means you're off the hook, Vyvyan!" Rick shouts and Vyvyan replies by going for Rick's zipper. "What do you think you're doing!?" Rick exclaims

"What does it look like?" Vyvyan replies, in his 'you're an idiot' tone.

"Vyvyan, you are not getting me to nude up in the drawing room! I'm not a working class yobbo y'know!"

"Fine!" Vyv sighs and takes Rick's hand, dragging him upstairs and into his bedroom, slamming the door. "Better?"

"Yes, much." Rick says, suddenly nervous. When Vyv tries again, Rick shuffles away slightly. "Uh, Vyvyan...do you think maybe this is a bit, well, sudden?" he asks

"What?" Vyvan replies, becoming increasingly impatient.

"Well, it's a bit soon for that sort of thing isn't it?" Rick explains, it's not that he's a prude or anything, but he wasn't going to be Vyvyan Basterd's sex toy!

Vyvyan sighs again, picking up his vodka and taking a swig. "Fine Rick, what would you like to do?" he asks offering Rick the bottle.

Rick accepts, taking a mouthful of the strong liquor and wincing. "Just, what we did last night would be nice." He says quietly, blushing a bit.

Vyvyan smirks at his house mate's shyness, Rick always had something to say but deep down Vyv knew the anarchist would be diffident when it was time for action. The punk takes the vodka from Rick and sets it on the floor before pulling the young man close and kissing him fiercely, pleased when Rick returns the kiss with just as much enthusiasm.

Vyvyan has to fight to control his temper when Rick pulls back, "Were you ashamed of being a poof or me?" he asks, looking Vyv in the eyes.

"What?"

"Before, downstairs. When you were arguing with Michael." Rick elaborates.

"I'm not ashamed of anything, Rick..." Vyvyan assures "I couldn't care less what people think of me, and if they say it, I beat the shit out of them!"

"Then why were you denying all knowledge of...y'know, 'us'?" Rick wonders.

Vyvyan shrugs.

"That's not good enough Vyvyan!" Rick shouts, back in his annoying prat mode.

"Alright! I didn't know how you felt about it Rick! I wasn't going to tell Mike and Neil you were a poofter if you didn't want me to! Okay!?" Vyv snaps

"...Oh" The anarchist replies quietly.

The two sit in silence for a minute.

"So...you thought about me? My feelings?" Rick murmurs, breaking the tense silence.

"Not really...I just knew I'd never get to shag you if I pissed you off too much." The punk answers defiantly, then adds more softly, "You girlie." Just to let Rick know he was kidding...mostly.

Rick smiles at his house mate and leans in to kiss him, though this time Vyvyan isn't quite as fierce, and to Rick's surprise the punk actually lets him take the lead. The younger man pushes Vyv back onto the bed and continues kissing him languidly, Vyvyan's arms wrapping around him, pulling him in closer. Rick finally pulls back and rests his head on the punk's shoulder, closing his eyes and listening to the steady heartbeat of his-- boyfriend? Rick liked to think so.

Vyvyan allows Rick to cuddle up to him although he's not sure why. He's not going soft, he's just got a soft spot for Rick. Always has done if he's honest...ironically that was why he picked on him and beat him up so much, because he was overcompensating he supposed. Trying to convince everyone else, but mostly himself that he hated Rick. He never managed it though...and now look at him, cuddling the anarchist...cuddling!? Suddenly the haze clears and Vyvyan realises what he's doing and sits up, and in doing so makes Rick fall off the bed.

"Vyvyan!" Rick whines

"Rick!" Vyvyan snaps, "Look just because we're poofs doesn't mean we have to get all girlie! Don't think we're gonna sit in here kissing and cuddling every night cos you're wrong!" And with that Vyv storms out and goes back down the pub for a last few before early closing.

"You complete bastard!" Rick shouts after him and barricades himself in his own room, he tells himself he's not utterly confused; that he's not going to cry, but most of all that he's definately NOT in love with Vyvyan Basterd!

2 hours later

It's throwing out time at the pub and Vyvyan is last out. He walks home slowly, kicking anything that comes near him, be it leaves, dustbins, parked cars... Why had he been like that with Rick? Okay, so the cuddling and being kind of girlie had shocked him a bit...he didn't know he was even capable of that stuff let alone that it'd come so naturally. But surely the fact he hadn't even had to think about it meant it was right... urrgh, too confusing after a day's worth of drinking! He'd just go back, and try and sort things out.

He went straight upstairs and to Rick's bedroom. The door was closed so he knocked.

"What!?" Rick snapped.

Ah...obviously still in a mood then.

"Can I come in girlie?" Vyv asked, mentally kicking himself in the head for the 'girlie' bit.

"No you ruddy well can't!" Rick replied angrily.

Vyvyan goes in anyway, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Vyvyan! I said no! Get out!" Rick yells, standing up, one hand on his hip the other pointing at the door.

"No!" Vyvyan protests, "Look Rick I'm..." Vyv steels himself for what he's about to say, "I'm sorry I was a bastard earlier."

"Oh, and I suppose you think 'sorry' is going to make everything better?!" Rick shouts, "Well it's not Vyvyan! Why did you do that?"

"Because Rick, I do not cuddle! Not with you, or anyone! Ever!" The punk returns.

"So why did you even bother trying!?" Rick asks.

"I didn't realise-- I didn't try! It just happened!" The punk tries to explain.

"Just get out will you?" The anarchist requests, exasperated.

"No." Vyvyan states.

"Vyvyan!" Rick exclaims

"I'm not leaving! I love you and we're going to sort this out NOW!" Vyvyan yells, his expression changing to one of shock and mild terror when he realises what he's said.

"You love me?" Rick asks quietly, gobsmacked.

"No!" the punk instantly denies, his signature glower back in place.

"Then why did you say you do?" Rick asks smugly

"I didn't!" Vyvyan protests, "So you can take that smug look off your face, poof!"

"I'm not the one who just told another boy I love him!" Rick says grinning, still smug

"Rick, if you don't--" Vyv starts, flaring up at Rick's obvious complacency but his temper is quickly dampened by the anarchist. Rick lunges at Vyvyan, wrapping his thin arms around the punk and kissing him, passionately but tenderly...and Vyvyan decides there's no point denying it, he is in love with Rick Pratt, no matter how much of a poofter that makes him.