Chapter Two.
I still don't own the Boosh but I live in hope.
"Romey and Michelle?"
"Yeah," Vince nodded enthusiastically. "Romey and Michelle. They didn't want to look like losers at their high school reunion so they made themselves over and went in there and were totally impressive."
Howard scowled. He remembered that film. Vince had made him watch it. Twice.
"But didn't their plan fail in the end?"
"What?"
Vince looked up from where he had been bent over Howard's chest of drawers, sorting through the various shades of brown. His hands were covered by a pair of brightly coloured washing-up gloves because, as Vince had pointed out: "I don't want to catch The Bland."
He was trying to find a decent outfit for Howard to wear to his school reunion but wasn't having much luck. He'd already made a large pile of clothes that needed to be introduced to Mr Bonfire, which Howard thought was a bit much, but he had to agree that there was very little in his collection of hawaiian shirts, cord slacks and roll necks, that would be appropriate for a fancy dinner at his old school.
"They don't fail, Howard! How dare you!"
"But they do, Vince," Howard argued. "Their lie gets busted and they discover that it's better just to be themselves. Fashion isn't the answer to everything, you know."
Vince gave him a withering look that made Howard shift uncomfortably where he sat on the bed.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. For your sake. How long 'til your reunion anyway?"
"One month," he mumbled, pouting a little but sure in the knowledge that his moustache hid it.
Vince sucked in his breath through his teeth, like a motor mechanic inspecting a dodgy radiator.
"I think we should be able to pull this off, Howard, but we're going to need to get you a whole new wardrobe on top of everything else."
Howard had never seen Vince look that put out by the prospect of a shopping trip but he was more concerned by the mention of Everything Else.
"What do you mean by everything else, Vince? Vince?"
"Calm down, small eyes," came the response. "It's all part of the plan, isn't it."
"And the plan is?"
"I already told you, Howard. Pay attention."
"You did?"
"Yeah, Romey and Michelle."
"Vince," Howard whined. "Just saying the name of that film is not a plan!"
"Fine," Vince stood, stretching his back and grinning back at Howard.
"We turn up in our best suits. Well, you'll be in a suit, I'll be in something stunning, obviously. We throw about that you're in the business of tracking down and selling rare antiques (which isn't a complete lie because Naboo's sent us off after some right weird stuff over the years), and we generally impress people. You get to show off having me on your arm, I did that ad campaign for Jaquettie so technically you're dating a model. We stick two fingers up at your old bullies, we take advantage of the free booze, we go home. Genuis!"
"You're..." Howard blinked rapidly. "You're coming with me?"
Vince strutted over to where Howard sat and knelt down in front of him.
"Of course I'm coming with you, Howard. If you want me to."
Howard bit his lip.
"You do want me to, don't you Howard?"
"I-"
"Howard?"
Vince was getting worried now. He and Howard were only just getting used to being honest and sincere with each other. It was much harder than joking and bickering but Vince knew it was worth it even if talking to Howard was sometimes like convincing an old lion that the tight perm was out of fashion and it was time to try something else.
"D'you not want me to come with you?"
"I-"
"Are you ashamed of me?"
"No!"
Vince pouted.
"Then why don't you want me to come with you?"
It was Howard's turn to pout but it soon slid from his face and was replaced by a look of genuine concern.
"I don't want them to be cruel to you, Vince."
"Oh, sweetheart."
Vince pressed his lips against Howard's and couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when Howard's hands crept tentatively to his hair. It had taken seven weeks to convince Howard that it was ok to touch his hair when they were kissing but his patience was paying off. He let the kiss continue for a minute and was satisfied when Howard unconsciously tried to follow his lips when he moved away.
"I can take on a few toffs, Howard," he whispered before moving his mouth around to nibble on his boyfriend's ear.
"But it's worse than that, Vince. It's dangerous-"
"I'm a cockney raggamuffin, there ain't nothing they can do to hurt me. And besides," his tongue flicked out to swipe the shell of Howard's ear and was delighted by the other man's shiver.
"I've gotta be there to make sure they aren't cruel to you."
And suddenly, Howard couldn't think of a good reason why Vince shouldn't come with him wherever he wanted to go, except...
"It's not an ordinary school, Vince."
"Was it a 'special' school?"
"Shut up," Howard snarked, burying his face into the side of Vince's neck. "No. It was just..." He didn't want to say, didn't want to tell Vince the truth if he didn't have to.
"There are a lot of secrets in that place."
Vince took Howard's face in his hands and locked his ever-startling blue eyes on his lover.
"There's nothing you can tell me or show me that's gonna scare me away from you, Howard Moon. I don't care about who you were when you were at school. I care about the man you are now. The man I love. I love you, Howard. You know that, right?"
The words hung in the air, sinking heavily as Howard sat, his hands still on Vince's waist, his mouth open, his mind reeling. He had told Vince that he loved him once, long ago, and been laughed at. He'd decided that it was better to never say it again than to say it and have his heart broken. And even though he knew Vince was sincere, even though now he wanted to say it back, he couldn't. The words wouldn't come out.
Vince was waiting for him to say it back, and Howard hated the look that crept into his eyes when he realised that no declaration of love was coming. He moved away, standing up and crossing over to the door so quickly Howard couldn't even think of an excuse to make him stay.
"Where are you going?" he asked desperately. Vince shrugged, looking at the door.
"Shopping."
"I... I'm sorry, Vince."
"I know," Vince whispered, turning the nob and stepping out into the hallway. "But I mean what I said, Howard, and I'm still coming to your school with you."
He left quietly and Howard put his head in his hands. What was he going to do? Still, if the school council were ready to let the past go, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
