Sunflower Diary, Page II: The Aftermath of Our Escape
After fleeing that cursed place, we had lived yet again in hiding. I look back on what is fairly recent times and they leave a permanent bloodstain and horrid memories of what did happen. We are free, that is all there really is to it but, in the end, our future is uncertain. We've burned that place to the ground, killing all those along with it, but, even though that place is no more rubble, what remains are the bloodstains, the pain, and the memories of all affected. To say we are truly free would be rather incorrect. What sort of freedom has it where we are forced to hide in an abandoned bunker, where we huddle together for warmth? It isn't much of any freedom, really. We've escaped from imprisonment but, in the end, memories of the nightmare still remained, so we were never truly free. Safe, yes, we are, for now, be as noted.
In living in this horrid damp place, I think of that nightmare and the destruction its left in its aftermath. Many of us youkai from Gensokyo are dead and, frankly, it is better than living in hell. Without steady foundations, our lives will yet again crumble and our foundations has been long cracked and worn away. For some of us, recovery and reassurance will come rather easy but what of the others? I know Yukari, Ducks, and Reimu won't be recovering so easily from this. The scars on those two will have yet to heal. My heart weeps.
As I write, printing these words on near ragged paper, I wonder exactly if we'll truly have a home and will ever be free. We haven't really anywhere to run without facing capture. I also takes the time out to note that Yukari has seems to be bitter. Not towards us, of course not, but to what had happened to us. Frankly, I have to say that the rest of us are really no different. After enduring all that has happened I may as well be embittered towards it all, as well, even more so with the scars. She is right, of course, after all, the only sort of kindness the warden truly did give is to allow Reimu live and releasing her back into Ran's care but, in the end, as she's stated, she can never really call it "kindness", as he's done so with conditions. She did state that he's allowed her "beautiful babies" to live, so that would be kindness, but it will have been much better if he had set them free, to set us all free. I suppose it would be mercy for her die and just be at peace, once and for all.
On Ducksie's note, I know healing won't entirely be possible, seeing as she's lost all her babies and we haven't a clue what's become of Chen. I can only hope nothing horrible has befallen her, seeing that she was blinded by a "merciful" stranger. Either way, Ducks feels utterly alone and I couldn't sympathise with her more.
On the note of little Reimu, I know she will not be recovering too well from this, seeing as her mind has been altered. Right now, she is asleep, undisturbed by what has happened. If that fat bastard truly has had her mind altered, then insanity will arise from it. I can only hope she will not succumb to madness, even as the world does.
-風見 幽香
