AN: Thank you for your response to the last chapter. It meant a lot to me, especially those who reviewed. For anyone who's interested, you can view my blog at http://bigworldlittlesister (dot) blogspot (dot) com . I would be posting previews of succeeding chapters on there in the future. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and Twilight, for that matter. The plot and Ellie, however, are mine.
BROKEN ROAD
Denial and Hope
"Hope is the denial of reality" ~ Margaret Weis
~*~*~*~*~
Jasper Swan
Like I said, life goes on and our routine remains the same. I woke up this morning and the first thought that came to my mind was how I'm going to endure this day. No matter how many times I wake up like this, I still never get used to it. But, I am used to the fact that I have no idea how this day's going to end. Will I still be alive by then?
I heard the police cruiser drive out and I knew we were safe, for now, at least. I already had breakfast ready and I had already eaten mine. Again with the routine. Bella came down, fully dressed, just as I was washing my cereal bowl. Last night, she managed to calm Jacob down but I wasn't so sure if she was able to calm herself down. I instantly feel guilty again because I didn't pay much attention to her last night. She was the one who always got worked up the most among the four of us and I regret forgetting that fact, knowing that she needed her big brother, too. After I got the ice for Ellie, I went back upstairs to put her to bed, leaving Bella to tend to Jake and giving Charlie the opportunity to lash out at them. I forgot my responsibility and now, I didn't know how Bella would react. I was still awake when she went to bed last night, but she didn't know. She cried herself to sleep again, just as she did every night. She always thinks that I never hear her but sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and she's still crying. I didn't know if I should tell her I'm still awake when she thinks I'm asleep or offer some form of comfort. I didn't want her to find out that I hear her crying every night because it would crush her. She didn't like people fussing over her and she didn't want all the attention focused on her. My sister was selfless, and sometimes too much for her own good.
Bella sat at the table and started playing with her cereal, not saying a word. I dried my bowl and went over to sit beside her. I casually pretended to fix the other two bowls so that she wouldn't feel embarrassed. Before I got the chance to blurt out an "I'm sorry", Bella spoke first.
"How's Ellie?"
That sentence, right there, is so Bella. She was the one who needed someone to talk to and yet she still manages to think about others first.
"She's okay, I guess. For the time being. She didn't ask about what Charlie said to her but I was scared to bring it up," I found myself surprised that I actually admitted the last part. Truth was, I wasn't scared about talking to Ellie about what Charlie said. I was scared of how she would react if I brought it up. Ellie always had to tendency to shut things like those out, maybe because of her age or because she's endured it for three years now. And, if I opened the topic about Charlie, she might be taken by surprise and that might result in her being in a worse condition than before. I was scared of that.
"She didn't ask?" Bella wondered, and her frown made me guiltier. "Or did you just purposely evade the question?"
"I didn't evade anything because she didn't ask or bring it up," I answered her, truthfully. I could never bear to lie to any of my siblings. I do it everyday and adding more lies won't make anything better. I would do anything to make my usual "It'll be okay" quote to come true. It was the worst lie I could tell them.
"I hate him, Jazz," Bella whispered, turning her attention back to the cereal. Her voice broke. The guilt ate me.
"I'm sorry, Bella. Hell, I don't even know what I'm apologizing for. Just, sorry..." I stammered. I needed her to know that I was here for her and last night was just another one of my slip-ups. I didn't mean to forget her and Jacob.
"It's not your fault, Jazz." She easily caught on. "Ellie needs you more than I do. Besides, not all of us can be Superman," Bella answered, giving me a small smile.
"Just don't be embarrassed to come to me when something's bothering you, okay? I'll always be here, no matter what," I said. It's weird how I have to remind her that she can always come to me. She used to tell me everything before.
Bella nodded. "I know."
I gave her a small hug as I got up from the table. I went upstairs to wake up Ellie and Jacob. I went to Jake first, as he was the hardest to wake up. I patted his back and he looked at me grumpily as he opened his eyes. He went into the bathroom and slammed the door. Bad morning, bad mood. I didn't know if he was just being a hormonal teenage boy or not. I went over to the other side of the bed, where Ellie was lying on her stomach. She couldn't lie on her back since she had a bruise right in the middle of it. Charlie pushed her down the stairs just because she was in the way, two days ago. I desperately wanted to kill him, piece by piece. None of us slept that night. I brushed her long hair from her face as she opened her eyes, puffy from crying.
" 'morning, pumpkin. Sleep good?" I asked her as she got up slowly, careful not to put too much pressure on her back. I sat on the bed and made her stand before me. "Let me check the bruises, okay?" She nodded but I knew she was scared. I could see it in her eyes. "It's okay, honey. I'll make sure it won't hurt too much."
I turned her around and lifted the back of her shirt. The fist-sized bruise was still a little purple but it was already yellowing in places. I put her shirt back down and faced her to me again. The bruise on her face wasn't really obvious but it was slightly purple in some places. She hated make-up so I didn't know how Bella would hide it.
"Does this hurt?" I asked, as I pressed a finger lightly in the general area. Ellie winced and I thought she was going to cry again.
"Just a little," Ellie said softly, yawning as she did so. She rubbed her eyes and I couldn't help but smile at the expression on her face. It was like she hadn't slept in years or something. I patted her on the head and stood up, just as Jacob got out of the bathroom. Ellie's face lightened up when she saw Jacob and she ran to him and gave him a hug. Jacob, pretending to be taken aback, swings her around. The smile I had remained plastered on my face as I watched my two youngest siblings playing around. How I wish we could all just be like this all time.
~*~*~*~*~
History. My most favorite subject of all. It was the only time in school wherein I was truly happy and I actually forget about everything else once I'm in this class. Today was different, though. Bella told me she wasn't feeling too well during lunch and I asked her if she wanted to go home. Deep inside, I wanted her to go home because she was sick and I didn't want her to get hurt anymore. She decided to stay, eventually, since she had a test in English. She wouldn't miss it for anything. I couldn't disagree. They all needed to finish school, no matter what.
Today, we were in the middle of studying the Civil War, a topic I was looking forward to the most. We were to work with our partners and do an activity involving the Confederacy. Partner work was something I always dreaded and I usually ended up getting a low grade because my partner spent the whole period insulting me or shooting me dark looks. I was lucky today. I got partnered with Alice Cullen, a little pixie-like girl, half-my size. She was one of the few people here at Forks High who didn't give us a hard time. I've known her since the fifth grade, since her family moved her from Alaska. All these years, she was never one of those kids who insulted us or ignored us. She went about her own business, not minding what other people might say. She's a little low-profile but I know her father, Dr. Cullen, was one of the most popular physicians here in Forks. She had a twin brother, named Edward, although we've never had close encounters. Alice was the one who was usually in the same classes as me. She was the only person I could really talk to here in school, without any fear of being backstabbed and insulted.
As the two of us began our work, the nagging feeling at the back of my head came back. I couldn't concentrate on my work, worry filling my mind once again. What if Bella got worse? Would she tell me if she was so sick she needed to get home? And Jacob? What if his temper gets in the way? I wouldn't be able to stop him this time.
"Jasper? Hello? Are you still there?" Alice's voice snapped me from my reverie. She was staring at my face as I absentmindedly twirled my pencil.
"Wha --- Oh, I'm sorry, Alice," I said quickly, trying to gain back my composure. She continued to eye me skeptically.
"Are you sure you're okay, Jasper? Is something bothering you?"
What could I tell her? Alice, the four of us are abused by our father and I'm worried about Bella 'cause she's sick and Jacob might get into a fight and Ellie might get hurt when we get home, blah blah blah. I couldn't tell her those things, no matter how much I wanted to. I didn't want anyone to find out about it. And, it wasn't fair to her. She doesn't need to hear a sad, sob story like ours.
Strangely, I felt as if I wanted to tell Alice. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she doesn't tease us or that she doesn't mind who we really are. There was just something about her that screamed trustworthy.
"Nothing, Alice. I'm fine. Bella's not. I'm just worried. She's sick but she had to sit her test in English," I told her. I was careful not to sugarcoat anything yet at the same time, not come clean completely. I wasn't ready for that.
Alice placed her hand on top of mine and looked me in the eye.
"She'll be okay, Jasper. You're a great big brother," she said and I noticed that her eyes were the brightest shade of blue. Much like mine but hers had a certain twinkle in them. I looked away quickly. Not only did I refuse to believe what she said but I also felt like her gaze melted me or something.
"If things ever go wrong, Jasper, you can always talk to me. I'll be here," Alice said, her hand still on top of mine. I was surprised by her statement. Did she know more things than I thought? No, she can't. I just nodded and she let go of my hand to go back to our work.
I couldn't concentrate all the more after that.
~*~*~*~*~
Bella was sick and by the time we got home, she had vomited twice. She was burning up when she lay down in bed. I didn't know what caused it this time but this was already a regular occurrence. Bella got sick a lot and I didn't know if it was because of the circumstances or if it was really in her nature. I chose the latter since she regularly got sick too, even before we lived with Charlie. At least it was one thing I couldn't blame Charlie for. But, sometimes, he still made it worse.
It was a good thing Charlie chose tonight to eat dinner with his friends. I couldn't bear to have him near us, especially now. I helped Jacob and Ellie with their homework, whilst doing mine and Bella's. She was wrapped in two blankets, yet she was still shivering and I couldn't do anything. We got into bed a little earlier than usual so that we could warm Bella up a little. For the first time in around a month, Ellie didn't sleep next to me. She didn't complain, though, which was good. She understood that Bella needed me this time. Bella threw up once during the night and I was sure she wouldn't be able to go to school tomorrow. And, neither will I. I would never dare leave her alone in the house in the middle of the day. Every time she got sick, I would excuse myself from school, too. That was one thing me and Charlie agreed upon. At the start of the school year, he already wrote to the school, allowing me to be excused whenever one of my siblings was sick. The school believed him, of course. He might not do his job properly if they didn't. Yeah, like that would ever happen.
When I woke up the next morning, I instantly felt Bella's forehead and it was still hot. Definitely no school for both of us today. I waited until the cruiser drove off before I got out of bed. I prepared something a little more special than cereal for breakfast since Jacob and Ellie would have to walk to school today. I've talked to them about that for a thousand times already and they've accepted it by now. So, with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in hand, I went upstairs to serve them breakfast in bed. How ironic since they weren't actually the ones who were sick. I set the tray of food down and woke up the two of them. Ellie, waking up immediately, saw the sandwiches and practically jumped out of bed, almost sending Jacob down to the floor.
"Ellie, Ellie, careful. You'll wake up Bella," I scolded, moving over to Jacob who was already stirring. Hmmm, I should make Ellie do that more often.
"These are really good, Jazzy. Why'd you make them?" Ellie asked as she munched on her sandwich. I glanced at Bella and didn't answer. Ellie understood.
"Oh. You're not going to school aren't you?" she acknowledged. She dropped the subject and finished her sandwich. Jacob, finishing his in about twenty seconds, beat Ellie to the bathroom again, resulting in an early morning outburst of emotion. Ellie started screaming at the top of her lungs, making Jacob get out of the bathroom.
"Ellie, stop it. You're making too much noise," I scolded, moving over to where she stood near the bathroom door. I reached over to grab some dirty clothes from the corner and turned to look at Bella. She was still sleeping. "If you don't like Jacob getting into the bathroom first, you should move a little bit more quickly in the morning."
"But it's not my fault I can't eat breakfast as fast as him! I would get undigestion!" Ellie complained.
"It's indigestion," I corrected her, throwing the dirty clothes into the hamper.
"You know what I mean," she said, stubbornly, as she sat cross-legged beside the bathroom door. I just shook my head in response. I saw this as typical behavior for an eight year old. It was kind of funny. I could remember Bella acting like this when we were younger. I let it pass.
Jacob eventually left the bathroom and the moment he set foot inside the bedroom, Ellie started slapping him in the stomach, the highest place she could reach. Now, this behavior wasn't funny at all. And, I think I knew where she picked it up from.
"Ellie, no! Stop that!" I said, sternly, placing both of my hands on hers. She fought against me but instead, I held her close, hugging her to me. She started crying and I lifted her into my arms. Jacob gave me a small smile and went downstairs. I sat down on the edge of the bed and talked to Ellie.
"You know that hitting Jacob wasn't right. Don't ever do that again. Okay? Never ever hit anyone unless it's for self-defense. Do you understand?"
Ellie nodded. "Okay. Go to the bathroom," I said, trying to make my sentence sound a little less than an order. She got off my lap and sprinted away.
"What was that about?"
I didn't realize Bella was awake already. I turned around and faced her. "How are you feeling?" I asked, fixing the blankets around her.
"Not good. What was wrong with Ellie?" Bella pressed. Nothing gets by her without an explanation.
"She hit Jacob," I answered softly, sitting cross-legged on the bed and picking up my history book from the bedside table. "I don't know how to tell her that's wrong when she experiences it almost everyday."
Bella sat up and rested her back on the headboard, pulling up the blankets. "She thinks everyone's like Dad. She's too young to understand that we're different."
"I don't know how to fix it," I said after a while.
"Me neither," Bella answered quietly.
Soon enough, Ellie comes out of the bedroom and walks over to the bed next to me. She mutters, "I'm sorry, Jazzy." She looked immensely sincere. I kissed her forehead.
"It's okay, sweetie. But, I'm not sure I'm the only one you need to apologize to," I said. She nodded and gave me her hairbrush, asking me to comb her hair. I was used to this already. For a guy, I was an expert when it comes to brushing hair. When I was done, I kissed Bella's forehead and went downstairs with Ellie. Jacob was eating cereal and I wonder how on earth he got hungry that easily. Ellie went up to him and gave him a hug, something that brought another smile to my face. I walked the two of them to the front porch.
"Jake, be careful, okay? No matter what they say, they aren't worth it," I reminded him as I gave Ellie her backpack.
"Fine," Jacob answered but with a grin, like a child forced to do something he didn't want to do yet he was still willing to do it. I felt Ellie pull the hem of my shirt and I crouched down to her level.
"Be good, Ellie," I said, kissing her forehead goodbye. I waited until they rounded the corner before I went back inside. I went into the kitchen to prepare some soup for Bella. I got some Tylenol from the back of the cabinet. I kept our medicines hidden, just in case Charlie decided to take them away. I can't be so sure anymore. I went back upstairs and Bella was lying down again. I put the medicines and tray of food down on the bedside table and held the bowl of soup.
"Come on, Bella. Get up. You need to eat," I said, as I ladled the soup.
"I don't want to throw up again," Bella whispered, hoarsely.
"Nothing will stop you from throwing up, Bells. At least make sure there's something in your stomach, okay?" I said, helping her sit up. I held her back as she took the bowl from me and started sipping the soup. I brushed her hair out of her face and tied it into a ponytail.
"You don't need to do that, Jazz. I can manage," she said. She didn't like it when I made such a huge fuss when she was sick. She was content with me taking care of her but me doing things for her like tying her hair was too much. I didn't mind taking care of her, not at all. It was my job and I had to do it properly. If my siblings needed me, then I'd drop everything to heed to their call. I wouldn't give it a second thought.
After eating, she obediently drank medicine and I told her to take a nap for a while. I ended up having one too and I woke up at around two to hear the phone calling. I ran downstairs to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, this is Mrs. Cope, from Forks High. Is Chief Swan home?" the voice on the other line said. Oh no, what did Jacob do?
"No, Mrs. Cope. It's just me, Jasper," I answered, nervously.
"Ah yes, Mr. Banner has informed me about your absence," Mrs. Cope. "As for your brother, Mr. Swan, I have constantly reminded him that fighting in any form is not tolerated in school. I understand you are aware of this?"
Dammit, not again. "I'm really sorry, Mrs. Cope. I know Jacob can be a little... but I'm quite sure he didn't mean it completely," I couldn't bring myself to describe Jacob. I couldn't just say violent, he's my brother.
"Yes, yes. But still, you will have to go to school to pick him up. The principal has sent him home for the afternoon to think about what he did. You make sure this doesn't happen again, Mr. Swan, or your father would have to be notified. Have a nice day," the line went dead. Oh God, what do I do now? It was a good thing the school didn't call Charlie directly. They never did. They knew he was "busy".
Now, I had to decide whether to leave Bella home while I picked up Jacob or not. I couldn't just take her with me; she's sick. I can't just leave her here either; I can't take the risk. I went back upstairs and woke Bella up. I knew telling her about Jacob would make her worry but I needed her to know.
"Bells, I have to go to school for a sec, okay? I have to pick up Jacob," I said.
"Why? What happened? Is he okay?" she stammered, sitting up immediately.
"He just got into some trouble and I have to take him home," I said, cautiously, gauging my sister's reaction. If she got an asthma attack because of this, I would kill myself. Her eyes widened at what I said.
"What? Trouble? How is he?" she cried.
"I don't know yet, Bella. I'll just go pick him up," I said, trying to calm her. I put on a pair of clean denim and an old shirt that lay lying around on the floor. I haven't started the wash yet and we were running low on clothes. I would have to save enough money for a shopping trip, then. I still didn't know if I could risk leaving Bella home or not.
"Bella, will you be okay if I leave you here for a while? I wont be long, I promise," I asked.
She answered without hesitating, "Just get Jacob home safe, Jazz." She lay back down on the bed and wrapped the blankets around her. I reached over and stroked her forehead. "You feel better, okay?" I said. Internally, I prayed that nothing would happen that would make Charlie get home earlier than usual.
The drive to school was a little longer than what I was used to. It was like a huge anchor had been lifted unto my head. The guilt was eating at me again. Two sides were pulling at me today: the side for Bella's sake and the side for Jacob's sake. I didn't know whose pull was stronger but they were like making me decide between my two siblings. I couldn't do that. I can't play favorites. There are really times wherein one needs me more than the other, that's all.
I pulled into the school parking lot and went straight into the administrators' office. There in the waiting room were Jacob and Alice. Alice, I saw, was patting Jacob's back comfortingly. Alice looked up, saw me standing in the doorway, and waved. I quickly walked over to them and stood in front of Jacob. "Are you okay?" I asked.
He looked up at me and I could see a black eye forming. Anger brewed up inside me, instantly. "What happened?"
Jacob didn't answer, but instead shook his head and stood up. He strode over to the door and walked out.
He didn't want to tell me in front of Alice. I sighed and sat down beside her.
"Were you there when it happened?" I asked her.
"No, I wasn't. I just heard some kids shouting outside and my brother told me someone was fighting. I got there the same time as the principal," Alice answered, her voice solemn."I'm sorry, Jasper."
"You know, this happens a lot. Every time we go to school, I worry about this happening," I said, amazed that I had the guts to tell Alice about these things.
Alice looked at me straight in the eyes and once again, her gaze made me feel like I was melting. Those blue eyes were too bright.
"It's okay, Jasper. You can talk to me though, about whatever is bothering you. I'll always be here," she said. Her words sent shivers down my spine and I don't know why. Can she see through me? Can she see that I'm hiding things from her?
"Thanks, Alice. That means so much, more than you know. Thanks for tending to Jacob, too. He needs that once in a while," I said, sincerely grateful.
"Anytime, Jazz," Alice said, smiling.
Jazz. No one else has ever called me that now besides my siblings. When I was a kid, it was the name I got used to. My family used to call me that a lot. It was back in the days when we were happy, before this chaos started. It was the nickname that I grew up with and it was the same nickname that I've grown to hate. I excused my siblings if they used that name once in a while, at present. It didn't bother me. But hearing the name come from someone else, stirred a different reaction within me.
It was my mother. She was the one who gave me that nickname, no one else. She called me by that name the moment she laid her eyes on me. And, it's for that reason that I hate it.
~*~*~*~*~
I said my goodbyes to Alice and went outside to find Jacob. It didn't take me a lot of time since he was already sitting in the car. I got inside and started the engine.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked my brother, as I pulled out of the parking lot. He needed to vent out his emotions. There's no use bottling them up. He was with me now, he was with family. He can get mad all he wanted. No one's stopping him now. I would give him the liberty to shout inside this car if that would help alleviate his anger.
"I just hate them. I hate them," he said, angrily, but his voice was low. "They can't just call Bella those things. They're the bitches, not her. It's not my fault I want to protect our family."
"But, Jake, violence won't solve anything. You know that, right?" I asked him, keeping the brewing anger inside me to the minimum.
"What else could I do?! They were insulting my sister! In my face!" he said, his voice rising. "They can't just do that!"
"I know, Jacob," was all I could say. His words dissolved the anger within me and I started to empathize with him. No one can insult Bella. Ever. We stopped talking after that. The incident was behind us now. What's done is done. There's no use speaking about the past.
Since it was almost three, I decided to pick up Ellie from school on our way home. I parked the car in front of the elementary school and waited. Jacob was back to his laughing, cheerful mood, and we talked to pass the time. Apparently, he had the ability to create jokes out of the simplest things, like the ants on the pavement or the dust collecting on the dashboard. They were corny, but I was laughing so hard at the same time.
I heard the dismissal bell ring and tried to calm my laughter down. I got out of the car so that when Ellie got out, she'd be surprised to see me. She always complained about being the last to be fetched, and now, she'd be the first one. But, when I saw Ellie appear at the top of the stairs, all thoughts of a surprise escaped my mind. She was crying, hard. Oh no, what happened now?
She saw me right away and ran down the steps, straight into my arms. I picked her up and she buried her face in my shoulder. I rubbed her back soothingly as I walked to the car and Jacob instantly opened his door. I handed Ellie over to him and got inside the driver's side. Ellie was sobbing as she sat on Jacob's lap, facing me. I noticed a tear on her pants.
"What happened to this, honey?" I asked. As I pulled the torn fabric away and looked at her scraped knee. It wasn't bleeding but there were around six to eight gashes. No wonder she's crying so hard. She didn't answer my question. She just continued crying and clutched Jacob's shirt. I fixed her pants and stroked her cheek. "It's okay, it's okay. We'll get you home so that we can put medicine, okay?" I soothed her. I drove home as fast as I can, thinking about how I was going to explain this to Bella. I leave home to solve one problem and I come back with another problem. I'm not helping her recover, at all.
When I pulled into our driveway, I was thankful the cruiser wasn't there yet. Hopefully, Charlie would still be on night shift. I ran into the house, Jacob and Ellie following behind me. Bella was reading a book in the bedroom when I got in.
"Is he okay?" she asked immediately. I rummaged around the bedside table drawer looking for medicine. She noticed. "What are you looking for? she asked, without giving me the chance to answer her first question.
"Jacob's fine. I talked to him already," I reassured her. She didn't need to know the reason behind Jacob's brawl. "Ellie scraped her knee at school, though."
Bella threw the covers of off her and started to stand up. "What?!"
"Bella, calm down. It's just a scrape. She's been crying but she'll be okay. Get back in bed," I scolded and her expression changed. I softened my tone. Clutching the medicine in my hand, I went over her. "I'm sorry. Just, don't get yourself worked up. Are you feeling any better?" I asked as I felt her forehead. It was warm now, better than before.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Okay, I'll just be downstairs if you need anything," I said, leaving the room. I went downstairs to see Jacob on the couch, with a still crying Ellie on his lap. I took her from him and went into the kitchen. In there, I sat her down on the counter and went to get some ice for Jacob's eye.
"Jake, put this on your eye," I called from the kitchen. He took the ice from me and went upstairs without another word. I turned my attention back to my baby sister.
"Does it still hurt?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.
"Yes," she whimpered, tears streaming down her face. I got a basin of water from the sink and a wet cloth. I kept those necessities ready for cases like this. I pulled her pants up to her knee and examined the scrape. I'm no doctor but by now, I knew how to remedy these things like an expert. For my standard, that is. I cleaned the wound and rubbed the medicine on it. Afterwards, I let Ellie choose her band aid. I held out the four-color choices we had.
"Pink," Ellie said, softly. I peeled the wrapping off the pink one with ribbons and put it on her knee. I put my supplies away and Ellie still hadn't stopped crying.
"What's wrong, honey? Does anything else hurt?" I asked her worriedly. What else could there be?
She shook her head and started to sob. She wrapped her arms around my neck, her tears staining my shirt. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm right here," I chanted again and again. We must've stayed like that for about fifteen minutes but she was still sobbing her heart out. Now, I'm really worried.
"Honey, please talk to me. What's wrong?" I asked, pulling her away from me but she wouldn't let go. She wouldn't answer me.
I sighed and picked her up from the counter. I brought her upstairs, hoping Bella or Jacob could get an answer from her. When I got into the room, Bella was helping Jacob with his homework. The two of them looked up at me, confused, as they took in Ellie's sobbing form. I looked back at them with a desperate look in my eyes. I honestly didn't know what to do. Bella stood up from the bed and I didn't object. Nothing would stop her now. She put a hand on our little sister's back and carried her. Bella sat down on the bed with Ellie on her lap and rocked her back and forth while whispering soothing words in her ear. Jacob and I exchanged worried glances.
After a while, Ellie stopped sobbing, but the tears continued to flow. Bella looked up at me, a worried expression on her face. This wasn't normal. Ellie never cried like this, no matter how hard the beating was. The longest she's ever cried her eyes out was the first time Charlie hit her, and that didn't even last fifteen minutes. Something was bothering her. Bad.
There was only one possibility: Whatever caused this distress happened at school. She was cheerful when she left home this morning and I was pretty sure we didn't do anything to make her cry like this. The bathroom incident with Jacob earlier was not bad enough to cause this. She's had worse. This possibility made me a whole lot more worried. Ellie was the only one who can tell me about what happened and she doesn't look like she's going to talk anytime soon. I didn't like seeing her upset, especially when I didn't know why.
What do I do? All I can see is a dead end with no answers.
"Jazz..." Bella said, looking at me from where she sat on the bed. Her eyes were desperate now.
But, the desperate look in her eyes wasn't what caught my attention. It was what she called me.
Jazz.
I practically leaped from my seat and ran downstairs. I knew it. I knew just who to consult. I ran to the phone and skimmed through the tiny directory next to it. Sometimes, it still pays to have a police chief for a father. I found the number I was looking for and dialed. It took three rings before someone answered.
"Hello?" a familiar voice said through the phone. I felt my muscles relax, bit by bit.
"Hey, uhm, Alice? It's Jasper," I said, tentatively.
"Oh hi, Jasper!"
"Yeah, uhm, remember what you said before. That I could talk to you anytime?" I asked nervously. What if she thought I was such a fool who couldn't handle his own family problems. She's right, though. I am a fool.
"Yes. Of course. Is everything okay?" she asked.
"Yeah... well, actually, no. It's my sister," I started. She didn't say anything so I took that as a sign to continue. "I don't know what happened at school today, but she's been crying nonstop since I picked her up. And, I don't know what to do, Alice. We've tried, but she wouldn't talk to us." I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible, trying stop the nervousness and worry from showing. I sighed, feeling like some kind of weight was lifted from me as I confessed.
"Have you tried, you know... just talking to her? Tell her it's okay?" she asked.
"We have, Alice," I said, my tone sounding more desperate.
"Look, Jazz. I have to admit, I'm no expert when it comes to kids. But I am an expert when it comes to being a sister. And, a sister will always need her brother," she said, her tone soothing. "No matter how much it hurts, a sister will always come to her brother, because she knows he can do something, even just a little thing, to make her feel better."
I pondered on her words. She continued, "Just be there for her, Jasper. You're her big brother. To her, you're like Superman."
I couldn't help but laugh at her last statement. "Not everyone can be Superman, Alice."
"Fine, then. To her, you're like a hero," she said, laughing too. I didn't know what to answer to that.
"Oh, and Jasper?"
"Yeah?" I responded.
"If there's something bothering you, anything at all, I'm always here to talk," She laughed again. "I know I sound like a broken record and everything, but, I just want to help."
Now, I had the same feeling that she could see right through me again. A part of me wanted to come clean at once but there was still a portion that held it back. But, I felt as if, I wanted Alice to know. About everything. No matter how fucked up it is. I don't understand myself.
"I don't know, Alice. I just, don't understand at the moment. But, thanks. It means a lot to me," I answered, quietly. Why am I reacting like this?
"Okay, Jazz. Thanks too, " she answered timidly and I thought I heard someone snicker in the background. Edward, maybe.
"Bye," I said, putting the phone down. What was happening to me? It's like I turned into jelly.
I rushed back upstairs and this time, Ellie was with Jacob. Bella was in the bathroom. Well, might as well try my best.
I crouched down in front of Jacob and Ellie. "Hey, little one. Come here." I stretched my arms out and Ellie conceded. I carried her and sat on the old rocking chair, with her on my lap. This rocking chair was older than her and Jacob. It has been sitting in this corner ever since Bella's baby days. It was the only living evidence that we have had that past. I rocked her while talking to her, just like Alice said. I told her that it was okay, and that she could tell me what was bothering her when she was ready. Again, I told her it was okay to cry when it hurts, just like I did a thousand times before. Her tears never stopped the whole time I did all these and she ended up crying herself to sleep, right there, in my arms, in the rocking chair. As she slumbered, I couldn't help but marvel at the peaceful look on her face. I rarely see that anymore. If only there was some way I could keep that peaceful face and treasure it forever.
AN: Please don't hesitate to review. Anyone who reviews gets a preview of the next chapter. The length of the preview depends on the length of the review. Sorry, but that's that. Thank you!
