It had been an hour since Chuck Bass had first entered Seattle Grace Hospital and to say that Owen was exhausted and hating the world would be the understatement of the year. In the last twenty minutes alone, Chuck had somehow managed to concoct an elaborate scheme that involved threatening to blackmail half of the surgical attendings if Owen refused to cater to his every request. Apparently the price of protecting the hospital's reputation was personal enslavement; so far, Owen had been forced to bring Chuck his lunch, give him a pedicure (that was a bust), and perform a rendition of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"(that was an even bigger bust). When Owen had asked Chuck why he wouldn't let an intern perform those mundane tasks and why he insisted that Owen, the chief of the hospital, personally cater to his every command instead, Chuck had diabolically responded that he likes to be in charge of the games that he plays, making Owen briefly wonder if he was witnessing the birth of a new-aged fascist dictator.
Owen saw that he was losing total control of the hospital and it took all of his energy to fight his inner temptations; he wanted nothing more than to go into McArmy mode, reload his worn-out war rifle and undo all of the progress that's been made on Chuck's arm by shooting him, himself. Of course, he knew that this was not the best idea as shooting a patient would most likely plummet the hospital's reputation even further into the depths of despair and then all of that singing that Owen had to do would have been for nothing. Plus, given Chuck's track record, Owen realized that the whole scheme would be pointless anyways, seeing as Chuck probably wouldn't even feel the pain of the bullet as it re-punctured his body.
Oh well, Owen thought, it's still a nice idea to hold on to.
Striding across the uncharacteristically deserted lobby, Owen was just about to leave the hospital in order to pick up Chuck's dry cleaning when he noticed a commotion at the front desk.
"Where is it? Where's the chapel?!" A stern-faced, well-dressed young woman in her early 20's frantically demanded, as Sharon, the front desk lady, looked like she was dealing with a ghost or a rattlesnake. Owen took one look at the intimidating, well-dressed young woman and immediately saw the resemblance between her and the hospital's new diabolical leader. This realization caused Owen to temporarily forget about Chuck's dry cleaning in order to deal with the hospital's latest confrontational visitor who, Owen thought, had hopefully come to take Chuck off of his hands.
"Can I help you?" Owen asked the visitor, causing Sharon to practically pass out from the relief of not having to deal with the scary young woman anymore.
"Where's your chapel?!" The young woman demanded again; and the look on her face suggested that she was both panicked and determined to get a response even if it meant slicing Owen's throat in the process.
"Miss, this is a hospital," Owen calmly informed her; though he did find her scarily intimidating, Owen believed that she didn't even compare to his wife who, as far as he was concerned, was the only woman in the world that was capable of terrifying him to the core.
"I know that this is a hospital but surely you must have a chapel in here somewhere, right?" The woman haughtily inquired. "Or am I just giving Seattle too much credit?"
"Yes, technically we do have a chapel," Owen unconfidently admitted, not really remembering if the contractors had torn it down or not in the wake of the hospital's recent downsizing and budgeting efforts. "Are you here to see someone?"
"Yes, Chuck Bass," the visitor responded in a concerned tone that, for a moment, led Owen to believe that perhaps this deranged lady had a heart after all. "I saw on Gossip Girl that he was admitted to this hospital about an hour ago. I got here as soon as I could."
"Gossip Girl? Who's that?" Owen innocently asked, causing the young, well-dressed woman to lash out in response.
"You Seattle people are so uncultured, it's unbelievable!" she angrily yelled. "I swear, by the way I've been treated since arriving at this ghetto you call a city, I would have sworn that you were all living in the stone ages! Now where's your chapel?"
"Don't you want to know how he's doing?" Owen inquired, not really understanding why the woman was so urgently seeking the chapel before paying her respects to her evil friend, the 'totally fine' Chuck Bass.
"Oh, I know how Chuck's doing!" The woman passionately declared. "He's dying inside, that's how he's doing! Every second that we're not together, he loses a part of his soul! I know him better than anyone; our connection is so strong that I could practically read his thoughts and feel his pain. I texted him right after I found out that he was shot. This is what he texted me back..."
"I'm fine, babe; just a little sore...winky face?" Owen read the text out loud, not really knowing what to make of it.
"See, to the average ignorant passerby that text message would suggest that he's doing well under the circumstances. But I'm not an ignorant fool! I know when he's honest and when he's putting up a front and I assure you, right now he's in a world of pain!" The woman hysterically yelled, causing Owen to sympathize with her on so many levels.
"Okay, so what do you propose we do?" Owen asked, trying to be as tactful as possible. He was used to biting his tongue these days; Christina had trained him well.
"I need to use your chapel!" The woman loudly and passionately proclaimed as her eyes were practically bursting from their sockets.
"And how is that going to help?" Owen patiently asked, although what he really wanted to say was why can't you just insist to take him away from here?
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing. It's worked before—"she urged but Owen wasn't convinced.
"Are you sure that all of this is necessary? I mean, I was with him a second ago and he seemed genuinely fine—more than fine, even. In fact, I'd say that he is so fine that, if we're all lucky, he'll probably be discharged by the end of the day. Plus, he's in very good hands..."
"JUST BRING ME TO THE GODDAMNED CHAPEL!" The young woman shouted at the top of her lungs, causing a group of interns to stop what they were doing in order to catch front row seats to the show.
Owen knew that the only way to get rid of this crazy lady was to give in and take her to the chapel...the only problem was that Owen was now suffering from short-term memory loss and therefore had no clue if the chapel was even still standing. Between taking care of Christina, running a hospital and managing all of the recent renovations, Owen had so many things on his mind that sometimes he forgot his plans entirely.
Suddenly, Owen noticed April Kepner strolling down the opposite end of the hall and was immediately struck by inspiration. April would know if we tore down the chapel or not! Owen thought. This is my chance!
"Okay, have it your way," Owen said to the woman before suddenly ditching her in order to frantically chase after April.
"Where are you going?" The woman impatiently hollered but Owen just ignored her.
"Hey Kepner! Wait up! Come here for a second!" Owen excitedly shouted, causing April to stop dead in her tracks.
"Yes Chief?" April inquired as Owen joined her by her side. Owen noticed that he had done a lot of running today.
"I have an awkward question to ask and I really hope that you don't lose respect for me when I ask it. But do you know if the chapel still exists?"
"Of course it does, chief," April eagerly responded, realizing that this was finally her chance to speak out on the chapel situation. "Although, it's been extremely down-graded in order make room for the new medical testing facility. I actually wanted to talk to you about that..."
"What the hell? I can't believe you just ditched me! I thought you were taking me to the chapel!" The young woman, suddenly reappearing out of nowhere, angrily screeched at Owen; and the look in her eyes made Owen briefly wonder if he should call security.
"I am taking you to the chapel...well, actually, she is," Owen informed the angry young woman while awkwardly pointing at April. "Dr. Kepner, please escort Miss...Sorry, I didn't catch your name."
"It's Blair Waldorf, you Neanderthal!" The young woman shouted, not surprised but extremely annoyed by Owen's never-ending ignorance.
Owen bit his tongue for the hundredth time today.
"Dr. Kepner, please escort Ms. Waldorf to the chapel."
"Really? Why?" April asked, overcome by an overpowering wave of shock and excitement at the thought of escorting a new visitor to her most favourite and, in her mind, most underrated place in the hospital.
"I need to talk to God about saving my ex-boyfriend and the chapel is the only place where I can do it," Blair answered, almost conversationally.
"I'm so sorry. Is he dying?" April sympathetically inquired.
"No, he's not", Owen grimly informed her. "His vitals are stable and he's doing fine."
"Stop saying that!" Blair impatiently shrieked. "I told you, he's not doing fine! And I'm the only one that can save him...well, me and God, that is! Now take me to the chapel so I can pray to God and ask him to protect my ex-boyfriend from himself! I need to do this before it's too late!"
April could hardly believe the words that were coming out of Blair's mouth for, in her mind, they were too good to be true. In all of her years of living in Seattle and working in hospitals, April had never once met someone who was as much of a believer in the mercy of Christ and the healing power of religion as she was, and the thought of finally encountering such a person made April feel nothing ecstatic and giddy inside. April looked at the angry, hysterical woman in front of her and was consumed by an overwhelming desire to hug her and force her to be her new best friend; it took every fibre in April's being to restrain herself from taking Blair by the hand and pledging her undying friendship and loyalty to their unofficial official religious sisterhood which was a union that April had just now formed in her head.
"Right this way," April beamed, leaving Owen to tend to Chuck's dry cleaning before happily leading Blair to the holiest place in the vicinity.
The Seattle Grace chapel was located in one of the remotest areas of the hospital which, April liked to believe, was the main reason why it was always empty. Sure, the fact that it consisted of only three pews, two narrow windows and a small, shabby alter that looked like it was stripped from a shoddy exorcist movie didn't help to broaden the establishment's overall appeal either, but April much preferred blaming its failings on its logistical issues rather than focusing on the chapel's obvious shortcomings. April knew that this wasn't the fanciest, biggest or most beautiful chapel in the world... but to her it was still a chapel and therefore she always made a mental note to never bitch about the place whenever she came to visit. April's sentiments towards the chapel could be compared to a parent's attitude when being forced to deal with an overly rebellious teenager; though wrought with some stirrings of disappointment, April's love for this place was unchanging and unconditional.
"Well, here we are," April enthusiastically stated to Blair as they hastily entered the chapel.
Predictably, Blair looked far from impressed.
"Needless to say, this chapel is a disgrace and it's in desperate need of being fumigated," Blair bluntly stated, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "But I guess it'll have to do."
Like a woman on a mission, Blair immediately made her way to the closest pew where she kneeled down and proceeded to silently pray as if her life depended on it. April, not wanting to waste any opportunity to bond with her new BFF, followed Blair's lead by kneeling right next to her until they were so close that their shoulders were touching.
"What are you doing?" Blair suddenly demanded. April just ignored her angry tone.
"Oh, I just thought I would join you," April cheerily explained. "I'm April by the way. This is actually pretty exciting for me...it's not every day that someone asks to visit the chapel; to be honest, it never happens. I should know; I'm the only one that really comes to visit. You know, I've never had a prayer partner before...not since leaving the farm, anyways..."
"I'm trying to pray here," Blair angrily snapped, hoping against hope that the annoying doctor/tour guide would just leave her alone.
"Sorry. I'll shut up," April assured Blair; however, about thirty seconds later the plan was thwarted when an important thought popped into April's head. "So do you like Chinese food? I know this great restaurant around the corner that serves the best Chinese food in the world and if you're not busy later... and if you're hungry..."
Blair couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh my God, do you ever stop talking?" Blair yelled directly in April's face. "Seriously, no wonder no one ever comes to visit this place—they probably see you sitting here, no doubt talking to yourself, and then start to wonder if they're in a chapel or the psych ward! And no—I will not go out with you! I'm flattered but I don't think we play for the same team... if you get what I'm saying..."
"Okay, you're really getting the wrong idea here," April declared, suddenly prompted to set the record straight. "I'm not gay; I was just asking you if you wanted to hang out with me. Believe it or not, I don't have a lot of practicing Christian friends who genuinely believe in the power of prayer and the mercy of God. People like that are hard to come by these days...especially in a hospital."
"Well you can add me to that long list of naysayers because I'm not a practicing Christian."
"What? Of course you are! How could you say that?" April proclaimed while her tone was perhaps a little too panicked and defensive by normal standards.
"I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I'm only here because God and I have an understanding," Blair admitted, clearly not sorry in the slightest. "You see I made a pact with Him last year and I'm just here to assure Him that I haven't forgotten my part of the bargain and that I intend to hold true to my word as long as He holds true to His."
"What was the pact?" April asked, slightly amazed but mostly relieved to learn that she wasn't the only one in the world making pacts with God.
"That He saves Chuck's life and that, in return, I stay away from Chuck."
"This Chuck...you said that he's your ex-boyfriend?"
"He's more than that; he's the love of my life!" Blair passionately proclaimed, causing April to be more confused than ever.
"He's the love of your life? And you're making a pact with God to stay away from him?"
"No, I made a pact with God to save him...that's just the price I have to pay!" Blair defensively explained but April still didn't get it.
"Is Chuck in critical condition? Is he currently in a coma? I haven't seen his charts but Chief Hunt did assure me that he is fine..."
"He's not fine, damn it!" Blair angrily yelled for the thousandth time today. "I wish people would stop saying that!"
April took one look at the desperation in Blair's eyes and knew exactly how she was feeling; April recognized that Blair wanted nothing more than to be heard and that in her desperation, she'd been yelling and screaming more than the average person normally yells and screams in a day. April knew exactly how it felt to be misunderstood and not taken seriously—and the last thing she wanted to do was make her new BFF feel the same way that she feels all the freaking time. April had to make Blair feel better...I mean, that's what friends are for, right?
"I'm sorry," April compassionately started. "Look, I'm not judging you; I actually kind of understand where you're coming from. You know, I made a pact with God a long time ago and I recently broke that pact and I ending up failing my board exam as a result. "
"Really?" Blair asked, amazed that the annoying doctor/tour guide might actually understand where she was coming from. "What was your pact about?"
"That I don't have sex before marriage," April confidently replied, while Blair's expression turned from amazement to complete horror and confusion in the matter of five seconds flat.
"What? Why would you willingly make a pact like that? That's insane!" Blair shouted in disgust, causing April's heart to harden in response.
At the sound of Blair's horrified and judgmental tone, April was immediately gripped with a sudden spasm of extreme anger and rage and she wanted nothing more than for God smite her new ex-BFF before damning her (Blair) to eternal hell. The feeling of compassion that April felt for Blair just seconds ago had completely disintegrated from her body; and April's former desire to take Blair by the hand was suddenly replaced by an overwhelming desperation to punch her in the face.
"Seriously? You're really judging my pact right now?" April defensively shot back. "I mean, this coming from someone who vowed to stay away from 'the love of her life' in order to 'save him' when apparently he's not even dying!"
"He is dying! He's dying every second!" Blair defensively argued.
"So is everyone else—that's just the way life works!" April shouted, her voice dripping with hatred.
"Oh, you just don't get it. You don't know Chuck—he is dangerously self-destructive."
"It sounds like he needs therapy more than anything else," April said, rolling her eyes for dramatic effect.
"He tried that already—it clearly didn't work!"
"Well maybe he needs a friend at the moment! Have you considered that?" April yelled; and for the first time, April understood why she was so extremely mad at Blair for judging her pact in the first place.
"Jeeze, no need to be so defensive..." Blair defensively muttered under her breath.
"Sorry—I just have a lot on my mind," April said while her thoughts turned to Jackson.
"Well, sex does that to people; welcome to the underworld," Blair diabolically pointed out but April didn't catch the humour in her words.
"Yeah, well, sex just lost me my best friend so I'm not the biggest fan of it at the moment. Plus, Jesus hates me now that I broke my pact. To be honest, sex has pretty much ruined my life."
"Do you love him? The guy you had sex with?" Blair asked, more curious than compassionate.
"It doesn't matter if I love him or not...I can't even look him in the eye because every time I look at him I'm reminded of how far I've fallen and that Jesus hates my guts," April grimly explained, causing Blair to be struck by an epiphany.
"So you won't be with the guy you might love because you ruined your pact with God, and I can't be with the guy that I do love because of my pact with God. I'm beginning to see a pattern here."
"What I see is someone who clearly doesn't want to be with her ex-boyfriend and is using her pact with God as an excuse to avoid him," April shot back but Blair just deflected her bullet.
"Are you talking about me or you right now?" Blair countered and April realized that she didn't know the answer.
"I don't know...maybe both," April conceded and for a moment, the two pact-wielding star-crossed lovers sat in silence as they contemplated life in its entirety.
It was a beautiful moment—one that was filled with the promise of eternal understanding, compassion and the forging of a new bond and sisterhood that even April wasn't initially anticipating. It was the kind of moment of silence that would put war veterans on Remembrance Day to shame—that is how powerful this moment truly was and the fact that it was shared between two people—two strangers, in fact—who weren't even sure if they liked each other as individuals made this snapshot-in-time all the more important and awe-inspiring.
The moment was broken by the grumbling of Blair's barely existent stomach.
"So do you want to get out of here and get some Chinese food?" Blair casually asked.
"Yeah, sure," April shrugged before they both nonchalantly rose from the pew and exited the Seattle Grace chapel.
