I'd appreciate it if I could get some feedback, letting me know what I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong. I'm new to writing, and I could really use the help in getting better. Also, if anyone has ideas for OCs, I'm still looking for 2 admirals, a fleet admiral, 5 shichibukai, and some of the crew members. Various pirate and marine OC's would be helpful aswell. Thanks!
Dax didn't understand what had just happened. The kid standing in front of him was obviously insane. Strong, but insane. Dax looked down towards the crumpled figure of Nina's body. He knocked her out in one hit. He thought to himself. I shouldn't mess with this guy. As he looked up towards the kid, Dax noticed that the boy was no longer smiling, and he looked tired. He was looking down at the ground now, with his hands steadying his wobbly knees. He looked like he might collapse at any second.
"Thanks." Dax said, having trouble understanding the sudden downfall in Rin's status.
"Don't worry about it." Rin said, looking up, and smiling. He was breathing heavily and a little pale. Dax was about to ask if he was okay, when a metallic glint caught his eye.
"WATCH OUT!" Dax shouted. Rin, seeing the blade just moments before it would have hit him dived forward, and rolled into a stand. Turning towards the brother, Rin said, "This is your fight. I won't interfere any further." Rin stood still, with fists clenched at his sides, ready to fight, should it become necessary.
Jacks laughed as he looked back to his brother. "First I'll capture you Dax, then I'll kill your cheeky pirate friend!" He said with a wild, almost bloodthirsty look in his eyes. Jacks was a wolf, and like all wolves, he loved the thrill of the hunt, or in this case, the fight.
Without warning, Dax charged towards his brother, and swung right. Jacks parried the blow, and slashed diagonally across Dax's chest. Jumping back, Dax parried another slash from the right. He still has that affinity for his right hand. Dax thought, I can use this to my advantage. The two swordsmen exchanged many blows that were blocked by the other's blade. Jacks jumped back a few feet, to evade Dax's next strike. Charging forward, he lifted the sword over his head, and held it there until he was within a swords distance from Dax. With excellent speed, Jacks brought his sword downwards towards Dax's head. A split second before it was too late, Dax managed to bring his sword up to block the blow. The force of the attack was too great, as it sent Dax backwards 10 feet.
With both of them breathing heavily, the brothers stared each other down, both calculating, turning the gears in their heads to develop a winning outcome. Suddenly Jacks shot towards his brother, his sword ready to strike. Dax, realizing that he had reacted to late to dodge, took up a defensive stance.
Jacks' sword struck it's opposite, pushing Dax back. Without sparing time for his opponent to recover, Jacks shot forward again. Dax had no time to react at all, as he felt the blunt side of his brother's blade crush into his torso, breaking a few of his ribs.
Hitting the ground, Dax shouted in agony. He opened his eyes to see his brother standing over him, with his sword pointed downwards at Dax's throat. Dax felt sick. He was just beginning to realize how dizzy he was. He saw Jacks going in circles as he drifted in and out of consciousness.
"I'm going to end your life right here Dax." Jacks smiled wickedly. Holding his sword upside, by the hilt, he held it above his head, and paused for a second. He then stabbed downwards toward Dax's head.
The sword never reached him. The last thing Dax heard before he lost consciousness was a loud shout.
~ On the Marine Ship ~
Waking up, Dax found himself on the deck of a marine ship. He sat up, and looked towards the wheel of the ship. The red-headed kid from the docks, Rin was his name, was steering it. Looking around the ship Dax saw that there wasn't a marine in sight.
"Did you steal this ship?" Dax asked, as he stood up, and walked towards the rails of the marine vessal. He looked behind them. The island was no longer in sight.
Rin turned around, surprised that Dax had awakened so quickly with the injuries he sustained. Smiling, he said, "I took it from those marines in the town."
"Yeah, about that," he paused, "What happened back there, after I lost consciousness?"
"Oh, that marine was about to kill you. I couldn't let my first mate die that easily, so I knocked him out, and carried your body to this ship." Rin replied, still grinning. He walked over and stood next to Dax. Now that he had a better look at him, Dax noticed that the kid had a small scar above his left eye. It spanned from the middle of his brow, straight across his eye, ending beneath, and to the left of it.
Laughing, Dax said, "You decided this all by yourself, huh? I'm your first mate now?"
"Yep!"
"Well, I'm indebted to you now, so I guess I gotta join your crew for now." he said with a slight grin.
"Great!" He yelled, "Now we have to get a cook!" he yelled, louder, and more joyously.
"Are you sure we shouldn't find a navigator first captain?" Dax asked.
"Nah, we need good food first!" Rin paused for a moment, he seemed to be questioning something Dax said in his head. "What's a navigator?"
Dax sweatdropped. "You want to be a pirate, but you don't know what a navigator is?" He asked, baffled.
"I'm not going to be a pirate. I'm going to be the pirate king." He said, in a matter of fact manner.
"Right, well, you're not going to get anywhere if you don't know how anything works. How much do you even know about the world?" Dax said, not knowing what to expect.
"Not much." Rin said. "I haven't been around other people in years."
"What do you mean?" Dax asked, genuinely intrigued.
Rin sighed. "I ran away from my home when I was 8. I sailed until I reached a deserted island. I decided to train on that island until I felt like I was ready to set sail, and become a pirate. I haven't had contact with people in 9 years." Rin said, staring out into the open ocean, his straw hat blowing in the breeze.
"How long ago did you get back to the real world?" he asked, a hint of curiosity forming within his words.
"Yesterday." Rin said, turning to face Dax he changed the subject, "What about you Dax, why were you wandering ar-" was all he could say before he got cut off.
"Rin! Look! There's an island! How the hell did you manage to get us to an island?" Dax asked, poking fun at his new captain, and pointing towards a small mass of land to the east of them.
Rin forgot what he was going to say. He looked towards where Dax was pointing. Seeing the island, he sucked all the air he could into his lungs and bellowed, "LAAAAAAAAND HOOOOOO!"
