Disclaimer: I don't own what you recognize!!!!!
My heart skipped a beat as I looked into his hazel eyes. His smile was genuine, forming tiny dimples that I had never noticed before. I felt the urge to reach up and stroke his cheek- kiss it, even. I didn't, however, but instead stared up at James, lost in time.
"Lily, could you help me with this?" Rosie said, and I jumped. I hadn't noticed she had already arrived. I tore my eyes away from James, and realized with a start that I was smiling. Facing away from James, I busied myself with Rosie's trunk.
Soft hands briefly brushed mine, and a blush crept onto my cheeks as my hands tingled from the contact with… with who?
With Potter, of course. He was helping me help Rosie.
I looked up yet another person decided to help- Tom the innkeeper.
I smiled, and he grinned back, taking her trunk upstairs. I looked around for mine, but found that Tom had already taken it up.
James was still standing beside me, and Rosie was right in front of me, smiling at something over my shoulder.
I didn't have time to turn around before large hands were covering my eyes, and a loud voice shouted, "Guess who, Lily-Poo!"
I let out a shriek and spun around to hug the only person in the world that called me "Lily-Poo". Sirius let out a loud bark of a laugh, and I felt so much more myself in his company. "Siri-Poo!" I cried, and hugged him tighter. He was, of course, much taller than me, but I didn't mind. I was too happy to have one of my best friends back for it to matter.
My eyes fell on James as I let go of Sirius, and I saw plainly jealousy across his face. I laughed, and teased, "Not jealous, now are we? I do believe I see the green of envy in your eyes."
James smirked; attempting to cover the wounded look he had had a moment before. "And I see the spark of confusion in yours, dearest Evans, for your eyes are the greenest here."
I rolled my eyes nonchalantly; thoroughly convinced that any strange emotions I had had for James a moment ago were the result of a lack of sleep and too many chick-flicks in too little an amount of time.
It was when I turned away to pay Tom my half of the stay at the inn that I noticed the look on Rosie's face. Recovering jealousy. A million times Rosie, Sirius, and I talked for hours about anything and everything- and a million times I never thought that Rosie might like him a little more than that.
I smiled a knowing smile at her, and she blushed slightly, looking at the ground.
I stifled a laugh, and looked back and Sirius who was talking animatedly to James. He suddenly looked at Rosie, then noticed I was watching him and screamed, "Fuck, Lily!" and jumped in the air, smiling. He landed with bent knees and bounced up again to his full height. This was the signature Sirius move, that Sirius could be seen doing when he got caught doing something embarrassing or against the rules, which unfortunately resulted in harsher punishments when he accidentally jumped on a professor's feet.
James was now looking between me, Sirius, and Rosie, laughing. Rosie couldn't be more confused. Intelligent and clever as she was, she was clueless when it came to people's affections for her- an odd quality in a person as confidant as she.
Rosie and I headed up the stairs to our room, my green skirt swishing around madly as we climbed. I couldn't wait to talk to Rosie, and tell her that Sirius liked her too. I wanted to make her happy, the way she made me happy all the time. And then a new, selfish thought popped into my head.
What if they started dating, and spending all their time together? Rosie would practically become a Marauder herself. I could never abandon her, so would that make me a marauder too? Hours with the arrogant Potter. My head reeled with this new thought.
I could lie. I could lie and say Sirius liked some other girl. But I looked up at Rosie, two steps ahead of me, and already saw the glow of confidence diminishing. No, I would stick through it for Rosie. For Rosie! I could always hang with Remus… I did need to catch up on my reading…
We entered our room before I could wallow too deep in my sorrows. Standing in the doorway, I took in the scene. I'd want to remember what it looked like later, when I thought back on the day that Rosie became her happiest.
Our room was small, the door opening into a combined kitchen and living room complete with mini fridge and out of date and curiously stained tan couches covered with huge pink roses and grape vines. I threw my purse on the couch, and the purse bounced onto the floor, its contents somehow managing to stay inside. I left it there to open a door to the left, which opened into a bathroom with dirty looking white and navy blue checkered tiles and a rhythmically dripping showerhead. For some reason the shower did not have a shower curtain. Walking back into the Kitchen/ Living Room, I found the striped shower curtain, trying to separate the Bedroom from the teeny front room. The bedroom was plain; two full sized beds with matching navy blue bedspreads were evenly spaced along one wall, with a full-length mirror on the other, and next to it were our trunks, and Rosie's owl, Indigo.
This was where I found Rosie, crouching in front of Indigo's cage. I made to sit next to her, but Rosie shook her head.
"I don't want to talk about it." She said.
I shook my head, "No, you don't-"
"Understand? Look, I'm sorry. I'll talk to you about this. Later. I promise! But right now I'm tired, and I just want to rest for a minute, okay?"
I nodded, and left her alone. It was then that I found my purse, still lying on the floor. I bent over to pick it up, and set it on top of the mini fridge. A dark color contrasting with the green of my purse peeked from the opening.
I took it, and recognized it by touch as the pouch Suyuan had given me only moments before. In the excitement I had forgotten about it, but now I took it anxiously to the couch.
Holding the small pouch in my hands, I now looked at it for the first time. It was a beautiful black silk pouch, the size of my palm. Yellow and orange flowers seemed to sprout from the fabric, drooping sadly and sweetly across a captured nighttime. I rubbed my thumb over the woven threads of the flowers, and the silky smoothness of the silk, and found comfort there. I loosened the saffron yellow ribbons, to pull out the contents of the pouch. Inside were two things. The first was a second, smaller pouch that had belonged to Rosie last year. The pouch was red with gold trim and had a silencing charm on it. Inside were several galleons, surprising. Surprisingly because Rosie's parents are muggles. I set aside the money, smiling, and brought out the second thing. This was a piece of paper, folded into a small but thick square. I unfolded it, bringing my feet up onto the couch beside me, still tucked into the corner.
My loving Bun,
I sewed and embroidered this pouch by hand when you were only 5 years old, coming over for a sleepover with Rosie. You two were inseparable from day 1, and I knew that if I wanted to keep my Rosie, I would end up "adopting" you, in a matter of speech. So I sewed this pouch for you, while you stared up at me from the floor with your wide green eyes.
I kept this pouch for many years. I wanted to give it to you at the right moment. I wanted to give it to you when I could tell you how much you mean to me, in perfect English. But as the years went by and you and Rosie grew closer, I realized that the right moment was any moment, and if I waited too long it would become impossible to tell you.
So I am telling you now in a letter, with my huge Chinese to English dictionary to help.
Once upon a time, I ran away from home. I was just a little older than you are now, maybe 18. I didn't speak any English, but I ran away anyway. You see, Rosie is like her mother in this area. My family was a very traditional and superstitious Chinese family. They wanted me to think with my head instead of feel with my heart. I couldn't function that way so I ran to England, where I worked at a bakery, cleaning. And of course, who's bakery would it be but Rosie's father. We fell in love with each other, then shortly after with our Rosie, and after that with you. My happily ever after is better than those of fairy tales.
I wanted to tell you this because I want you to know that there is no such thing as the right or wrong choice, just other choices. Never regret a choice made, especially if it once made you happy. Most of all know that no matter what you chose to do in any situation I will always support you.
Growing is up it tough work. You've figured that much out for yourself. But stick through it whatever way you can, and never forget how to live. The happily ever after at the end is more than worth the wait...
Much love and cinnamon buns,
Your surrogate mother Suyuan
P.S. The galleons in Rosie's old pouch are for you to buy an owl. I want you to send your own letters, not just ones to send with Rosie!
I read the letter three times through, wanting to memorize it word for word. I was about to read it a fourth time when a series of knocks on the door interrupted me.
I got up from the out of date couch, which I decided to call Herbert, and opened the door. It was James, of course, and he was smiling brightly as usual. But then the smile dropped, and he looked concerned.
"What's wrong?" He asked, and too late I realized I had been crying.
"Oh, it's nothing. I just-" I stopped. Potter was showing concern for people other than himself? I was suddenly dizzy, and needed to sit down. "Here, come in."
The room was spinning. But why? Yes, it was amazing that James was in such a generous mood today, but not so incredible that I would actually feint at the thought of it.
How about we don't feint at all then, Lily! I thought to myself and sat down on my corner of Herbert. James followed, shutting the door quietly behind him, and sat down next to me, facing me with a look of worry.
I picked up the letter again, then set it down, not sure what to do.
"What's wrong?" James repeated.
"Nothing… just a letter from my "surrogate mother".
"Surrogate mother?" he asked.
"Surely you know what surrogate means, Potter." I said rudely.
James smirked a little, glad that I felt well enough to taunt him.
"If you don't feel like talking about it you don't have to." He said matter of factly, and I attempted to shrug as if I didn't care, but for some reason I found that I did care.
"Well… the home life hasn't been too good recently…" I started, and James frowned in concentration, and I was startled yet extremely comforted to see that he was listening in an attractive way for once. Then I realized the idiotic comment I had just made aloud and laughed. "It hasn't been too good in a very long time."
"Why is that?" He asked, still frowning.
"Well… you know my parents are muggles. My sister Petunia is too, and she really really doesn't like anything to be what she considers 'abnormal'. She's a little autistic, really! Well while I am away all year long Mum and Dad only have their pet Petunia, and they forgot about me, in a way. Or they tried to, at least. So Rosie, who is also my next-door neighbor, thank God, really is my only comfort during the summer. So I spend most of my days in the summer at her house, and the Audley's became my other family… by 'surrogate family', as Suyuan likes to call it."
James smiled sadly and nodded. He was listening so intently and attractively, I couldn't stop myself and went on to talk about my family had once actually rejoiced in my being a witch, but changed their minds when they saw that going to Hogwarts had changed me in a way they didn't like. He suggested that maybe they didn't like the way I was growing up- influenced by a magical school they don't know anything about.
I thought about it and smiled. Maybe he was right. It was a rather sad answer to my confusing situation, but it was an answer nonetheless, and I was grateful.
"Well," He started. It was then that I realized that he had not come here only to listen to me rant and rave about how pitiful my life was. "I really am sorry about all this… but you know, there is always something to celebrate! We have to look on the bright side!"
"What is there to celebrate?" I asked, and he blinked a few times, trying to think of something.
"Uh… we could celebrate… my being Head Boy! Uh, Sirius moved out of that hellhole- his parents' house- and into mine, and… you and Rosie look… nice? Let's be honest you're drop dead gorgeous."
I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm Head Girl, I think I'll celebrate that! And Rosie…"
"Rosie is celebrating the fantastic results of her last job as make-up artist extraordinaire!!" shouted Rosie herself, peeking her head around the shower curtain/room divider.
I laughed again, and stood up. I flipped my hair with a graceful hand and stuck a pose. James laughed his contagious laugh, watching me from the couch, Herbert.
"So what do you say we ignore the fucked up things about this world and drink to our success!?" James suggested, smiling widely.
"Fuck yes!" Rosie shouted, "Now help me get this shower curtain on the shower so we can get ready!"
James sprung into action, waving his wand this way and that while his hazel eyes sparkled with anticipation. I just stared at the ceiling, just happy that I could forget everything for one night. I wasn't about to forget how to live.
