A/N: All errors are entirely my own.

Today's theme is slightly risque. ;) Sorry if any OOC.

I do not own Austin & Ally.


Drunk Devil

When I woke up this morning, the room was trashed.

"Hey, don't you think that this is a bit messy?" Trish asked as she frowned down at the upturned table and scattered clothing all over the living room floor.

Dez merely shrugged. "It wasn't me."

Trish turned to face her husband in confusion. "Huh? Then who..." Dez smirked and peered down at her in a knowing manner.

"What? A burglar?"

"Nuh-uh." Dez shook his head, smirk still in place.

"Then..." Trish sheepishly pointed at herself as Dez nodded almost solemnly. "You're a pretty bad drunk, Trish." "Ack!"

I'm aware that I get out of hand when I'm drunk. It takes a while for me to actually get drunk, but when I do, I sometimes lose my memories of what happened. However, it doesn't happen very often...unless I'm drinking my sorrows away. Trish stared down at her disheveled self. Things weren't going well at work yesterday so I was pretty stressed-

"It was pretty bad," Dez's voice interrupted Trish's thoughts. "You said you'd take me 10 times within one second." He raised a brow at the girl, almost irritating Trish with that smirk still on his face.

"What?! Y-you're lying!" Trish, face flaming red, stared in wide-eyed astonishment. "There's no way I'd ever say that!"

Dez then suddenly took on a serious demeanour. "No, no...here's what happened..."

Trish kicked open the door, snarling in her half drowsy half drunken state. "Let me do you, damn it!" she yelled at her husband who was shocked from the sudden door slamming.

"Heh? Why are you suddenly all excited?!"

"Come on, damn it! You've got a pretty hot body!" grinned Trish as she attempted to take his shirt off.

"Noooo! Please stop!" Then, whimpering to himself with tears streaming down his face, "This is so mortifying..."

"LIES! No way! Tell me you're lying!" Trish yelled at her husband who was currently dry sobbing into the couch arm.


"Well then, next time you're drunk, I'll take pictures and videos of you in HD resolution." Dez calmly took a drink from his glass as he savoured Trish's home-cooked dinner.

"All right! Bring it on!" Trish pointed at the redhead. "But forget 'next time'! Let's just go drinking tomorrow! It's Friday anyway!"

Dez gave a thumbs up and readily agreed. "Fine!"

"Let's go to a few places."

"Okay."

This is a good chance. I'll get to see what he's like when he's drunk. Trish smiled to herself.

I'll have to make sure she doesn't ruin her life with alcohol. Otherwise I'd be dead every time she takes a drink. "Hm?" "I haven't done this in a while! I'm excited!" beamed Dez.


The next day - TGIF!

"Sorry! Did you wait long?" Trish hurried up to the waiting ginger but he just greeted her with a kiss. "No worries." "Well then, let's go!"

"Cheers!" The couple toasted to the end of another week as they enjoyed their bar snacks and drinks.

"Oi. that Long Island Iced Tea you're drinking wouldn't happen to be actual iced tea, would it?" Trish squinted at the drink in Dez's hands as he nearly choked on his drink in his mild panic on the blow of his cover before she continued nonchalantly to pick at her food instead.


Round Two

"You know, I always wanted to brew my own beer."

"Eh? Isn't it illegal to do so?"

"Not if the alcohol content is less than 1%. Then you don't need a license," Dez explained as he sipped on his Virgin Mojito, unbeknownst to his wife.


Round Three

"Maybe I'll run for government! Then I'll change the liquor tax laws and we can start a brewery!"

"That sounds really troublesome." Trish pouted slightly then turned towards the bartender. "Hit me with another glass please!"


Round Four

"U-um...we should probably..." Dez stuttered as Trish gulped down several shots in one go.

"Hehehehe!" Dez stared blankly at his giggling wife. Uh oh...

"Hey! Let's play strip rock-paper-scissors!" leered Trish as she leaned over towards him drunkenly.

"Huh?"

"Rock, paper...scissors!" Dez threw out a rock as Trish showed scissors and she stared stonily for a moment at their hands.

"I guess I don't have a choice!" Trish laughed as she started to remove her shirt.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Dez tried to stop her before she suddenly hugged him very tightly.

"I love you! I'm drunk so I'll keep saying it! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you lots!" Dez sighed as the Latina snuggled against him. "Me too...mmft!"

"Shut up! Smooch!" Trish had declared before she forcefully kissed the man.


In the end, I don't remember what happened again. Trish woke up the next morning, back at home and in bed, not a scrap of clothing on her as her equally bare husband dozed beside her.

"What did I say?" She directed the question at him.

"Hmmm?" Dez grumbled sleepily. "It was...yeah...something magnificent...zzz..."

"What do you mean by that?" Trish poked at the snoring man.

"Majestic...transcendent..."

"That makes even less sense to me," sighed Trish as she resigned herself back to snuggle back into bed with a small smile.


A/N: I hope you liked it! By the way, just remember that all chapters are unrelated to each other unless stated. Cheers!