"Where were you yesterday?" Esme asked when he sat down next to her in English class, a tired look about her, very unlike her usual self. It hit Miles that Esme had been the one with the pills in the first place, so he clearly wasn't the only one going through something. Typical of him to think so, of course; typical Hollingsworth selfishness.

But then he supposed being selfish wasn't the worst thing one could be, when it came down to it. Being selfish didn't mean you didn't care about others, though it certainly had for his dad.

"With some friends," he said. "Sorry I didn't text you.

"I didn't know you had "friends"," she said sullenly and Miles could tell it was supposed to sting.

"Hey!" Winston said from behind them.

"Come on, Esme," Miles said, going for some kind of funtone, though he was unsure if he managed it. "Don't be like that; we'll hang out today, okay?"

"We better," she said with grumpiness that, thankfully, seemed halfway faked. "You definitely owe me."

Miles laughed; Winston shot a look between the two of them and rolled his eyes. Then the class started.


Miles vaguely remembered talking to Hunter before leaving school, but he couldn't recall the specifics and the rest of the day was one big blur. He remembered being with Esme and then briefly not being with Esme and then being with her again and he thought he remembered some semi-public making out, but he had no clue as to how far they'd gone. He finally started coming down from his high around 2 am, at which point he and Esme went their separate ways, as they lived in different parts of the city. They said goodbye with a kiss and a laugh and a promise of more nights like this but Miles wondered if they both left with the feeling that it all was for nothing when tomorrow wouldn't be better for their cheer this night.

Miles didn't think to check his phone till he'd gotten home, but when he'd gotten to his room and was sitting on his bed trying to find some part of him that cared enough to start getting ready for bed, he checked it and found he'd gotten several messages.

Maya had written him saying:

your brother said some really awful things today :( I think you need to talk to him

Miles frowned at the screen, wondering why Maya and Hunter would have talked at all. Then he opened a messaged from Tristan.

We closed Hunter's club & he was prty upset… just thought you should know…

Then he'd gotten some judgy texts from Winston about his whereabouts and one from Frankie warning him that their mom was mad he wasn't home yet. He just rolled his eyes at those and started getting undressed. So that was what he had to look forward to, a lecture from his mom and playing dad for his brother… great.


After far too little sleep and, as he had predicted, a lecture from his mom, Miles really wasn't in the right state of mind to be talking to Hunter, but… Hunter was his brother. He ought to. He didn't get the chance until they were on their way to Miles' car, but Miles hurried up and jumped into it.

"So," he said as he put an arm over Hunter's shoulder, earning a disgruntled reaction from him. "I hear they shot down the gaming club?"

Hunter sneered and roughly threw Miles' arm off.

"What do you care?" He hissed. "You think it's stupid anyway."

"Hey, I asked, didn't I?" Miles said and looked back at Frankie to get her to back him up, but Frankie seemed to be somewhere else entirely. He turned back to Hunter, only to find him several steps ahead of him. "Why did they close you down? I thought it was going so well?"

"That idiot Goldi and your bitch of an ex-girlfriend said all kinds of ridiculous things about the game and then the club just got shut down!" Hunter exclaimed.

Miles just looked at him, speechless. Hunter being angry was hardly shocking, nor would he have found the language use shocking from someone else, but the two put together… when had Hunter gotten like this? Hadn't most of his closest relationships been with girls? With Frankie when they were small, with Arlene last year and with Yael now? But he supposed that didn't have to count for much.

"Okay, calm down, it's-" Miles started, which, looking back , was not actually a good way to start at all, but then Miles had only gotten around 3 hours of sleep, so he supposed he could cut himself some slack. Hunter couldn't.

"You don't get it, do you?!" Hunter yelled and in his head Miles agreed that no, he really didn't. "We just want to compete, to do the thing we'regood at, and they shut us down because they don't understand anything about games! Just because it's not football or whatever they act like they can just walk all over us!"

"Okay, okay," Miles said, putting a hand on each of Hunter's shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. "What if I try talking to Tristan or something, huh?"

He immediately regretting getting himself into this, but he had to say something; Hunter was looking scarily worked up about the whole thing.

"Get off of me!" Hunter exclaimed and moved out of Miles' grip. "I have it under control."

Miles stopped in his tracks and sighed as he watched Hunter walk off to the car with quick, angry steps. He was way too sleep deprived for this kind of bullshit.

"Give it up," Frankie said and stopped beside him. "He's been angry about it since yesterday, and you're not exactly good at making him not angry."

Miles made a face that conveyed a kind of disgruntled agreement.

"I'm sure he just needs some time to get over it," Frankie added.

They stood there in silence for a few moments. Hunter was already sitting in the car.

"Come on," Frankie said and started walking. "We're going to be late at this rate."

"Yeah," Miles said without moving.

He'd promised to try to take dad's place in Hunter's life… to be there for him… what had happened to that? He supposed that with their dad back in their lives – he felt a weight on his chest and a knot in his stomach and god he needed to get high – there was less of a need for it but… It was still sad to think he'd failed his brother, too.


After school he found himself waiting outside the student council's room for Tristan to wrap up whatever it was that he was doing, since of coursethe one day he did want to speak to Tristan, they had no classes together. While he assumed they would be on better terms after hanging out at Maya's, he didn't really feel sure about it… about Tristan, about how he felt about Miles… or, if he was being honest, how Miles himself felt about Tristan.

He'd done his best though. He'd made sure he was calm and collected and all that crap, he'd sneaked in a nap in history class when they'd watched a movie, and while he was on pills, they were only enough to soften the dull anxiety in his breast and the tension in his bones, not enough for him to be high. Not really, anyway.

Esme had been a bit ticked when he'd avoided getting high with her, and even more so when he wouldn't ditch with her. He'd said he'd meet up with her later, but she'd just said something biting then walked off, leaving him feeling shit enough to take a pill despite it all.

He wasn't high-high though. And he was feeling okay. Ready to do this maturely. Hopefully.

It took another 8 minutes of playing games on his phone and then an extra 3 checking all his social media apps before two girls walked past Miles on their way out of the student council room. He quickly put away his phone and looked into the room where he saw Tristan gathering his things. Miles walked in and that in and of itself was enough to alert Tristan to his presence. Tristan looked over his shoulder and when his eyes met Miles', they looked a bit wide; pretty as ever, though.

"Miles, what…" Tristan trailed off.

"I need to talk to you," Miles said and continued walking towards Tristan, who for his part looked a bit uncomfortable until Miles clarified. "About Hunter. Hunter and that gaming club."

"Oh," he said in a way that really made Miles wonder what Tristan had thought Miles was here for.

"Well, that's…" Tristan regained his composure. "That's closed Miles. The PTA and Simpson have weighed in on it too, there's not much I can do at this point."

Miles swore under his breath and sat down on the nearest table with a sigh. He already felt defeated. "Why was it closed?" He asked after a moment.

"Hunter didn't tell you?" Tristan asked.

"I tried to talk to him about it but… Hunter's not big on the whole sharing thing."

"Well, the feminist club had some complains, and Hunter wasn't exactly good at convincing them that their club isn't misogynistic," Tristan explained in a gentler tone than Miles would have expected Tristan to take with him, and sat down next to Miles.

"Or racist, for that matter," Tristan added after a pause.

Miles turned his head to meet Tristan's eyes. He furrowed his brows.

"He said some pretty gross stuff to Goldi…." Tristan said and trailed off, only continuing when Miles kept looking at him. "Like, about her scarf and terrorism?"

"Okay, wow," Miles laughed humorlessly and looked away. "Fuck's sake, Hunter."

"Yeah…" Tristan trailed off again. "Look, I know you're trying to be a good brother, but Hunter is genuinely in the wrong. I won't be doing him any favors any time soon."

"Yeah, yeah, I understand, I just…" Miles rubbed his hand on his forehead and the slit his fingers through his hair, feeling even more tired than he had this morning. He sighed.

"I don't know when he got this angry. Or when I stopped knowing him. Or why I…"

His voice was coming out weird and he stopped himself abruptly. He wasn't even sure how he'd meant to finish that. Why he didn't know Hunter anymore? Why he hadn't been there for him? Why he never paid attention to the things his brother cared about?

"He called Maya a bitch this morning," he confided, though he was unsure why.

Tristan grimaced.

"At least he didn't say it to her face, I guess…"

Miles laughed.

"Dude, you don't have to defend him. He's not your brother," he said and Tristan smiled ruefully.


"What do you want?" Hunter asked, barely looking up from his screen, as Miles entered his room. He was playing a game – notably not Runesayer Kingdom, but instead some kind of single player shooter by the looks of it.

"So I talked to Tristan…" Miles began and sat down on Hunter's bed. Hunter still wasn't looking at him, he hadn't even paused the game. Miles looked at him picking up ammo and shooting guards for a few moments before he continued. "I hear you said some pretty rude things to Goldi. What was that about, huh?

Hunter scoffed as he shot another guard. "Who are you, mom?"

Miles rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, I'm just worried about you man," he said.

"Why don't you worry about yourself first?" was all Hunter said to that.

Miles got up and left his brother's room, slamming with the door as he left.


"Rome wasn't built in one day, you know."

Miles looked up from his laptop and found Frankie standing in his bedroom door. He gave her uncomprehending look and she rolled her eyes the way only a 15 year old confronted with a thick relative could.

"I know you tried to talk to Hunter," she said and sat down on his bed, as he had sat on Hunter's. "And… that matters, you know?" She continued. "That you tried."

Miles opened his mouth, the closed it firmly. He made a face.

"Would have mattered more if we'd, you know, actually talked," he finally said.

Frankie shrugged helplessly and made a face that seemed to say it's Hunter. He made a similar expression, and they just looked at each other for a few moments until Frankie scoffed.

"Who cares about stupid Hunter, anyway?" She said and crawled up next to Miles. "Let him be angry if he wants to."

She snuggled in to Miles and he smiled. He was more surprised than he would ever admit that Frankie cared enough about him, after everything, to try to cheer him up. He was looking at her, still smiling in a quiet way that was rare these days, when she asked:

"You're writing again?"

He hurriedly minimized his document.

"Hey, I was reading it!" Frankie complained.

"You can read it when it's ready for editing," Miles said and put an arm around his sister. Frankie pouted, but he just shook his head. "Why don't you tell me what's going on with you instead, huh? Because I must admit, I have no idea."

Frankie made a face and cuddle up to him more closely.

"You haven't really cared to know…" she said, and it hurt because it was true; Miles hadn't just been a sucky brother to Hunter, but to his sister too..

"I'm sorry," he said, and those words rang in the silence for an entire minute before Frankie spoke.

"I just feel so… lost," she admitted.

"What, not because of Winston, right?" he asked. All the answer he got was a vague shrug.

He quietly let out a breath, satisfied that at least this wasn't allabout Winston. His little sister and his best friend being together had been weird enough; reassuring Frankie that Winston didn't matter, that Frankie didn't need a loser like him, would have been decidedly awkward.

"Maybe a bit, but I don't think… I don't think that's the main of it," she said and looked up at Miles. "I just… a lot has changed since last year."

Miles broke eye contact and sank something. It felt like a boulder was lying on his chest. "Because of dad?"

That would almost be worse than if this was about Winston. No, scratch that, it would definitely be worse.

"Because… because of a lot of things," Frankie said, and she didn't elaborate further than that.

They spend a few more moments cuddled together in silence before Frankie disentangled herself to leave the room without a word and Miles full of regret and guilt. He'd known he'd failed Hunter. There'd been an awareness of that, somewhere in the back of his head. Frankie, meanwhile... He felt as if he'd almost forgotten about Frankie, which was much worse in a way. He'd no idea what to do about it though. It already seemed too late to do anything really, but he supposed just doing better from now on was all that he could do...

It took a long while before Miles got back to his writing.