I believe I promised many of you an anti-Sasusaku ficlet, but this was born of a traumatic experience from a few weeks ago, in which I was dooped into reading a Kakasaku. But then, this was born of my traumatized state. I give you...
Internet Perditions, Part 2
Kakashi's face was a bright crimson, lips clenched tightly together. "Tsunade-sama, the relationship between me and my students is strictly teacher-student. I would never-" he sputtered on the next words, horrified and offended.
Tsunade raised a questioning eyebrow and leaned back in her chair, fingers forming a thoughtful steeple. "Kakashi-san, you do read many perverted novels. And in front of them no less."
"I read them in front of everyone! And Jiraiya wrote them! He would never have-!" More sputtering followed, the loss of words and indignant stammering where very unlike the copy-nin.
The endowed woman glanced to the side at her computer screen, still unsure. "These pictures look awful real, Hatake." she seemed to be warning him of severe consequences if he was lying.
"Listen you old hag! Three things! One, that is the worst photoshopped picture I have ever seen, ever. Two, you wouldn't know how to run a computer to photoshop anything, so don't even try and argue with me about it being real. Three! I'm spoken for! I would never do something like that with a kid, or with anyone else for that matter!" The portion of his face that showed was outraged and still thoroughly offended.
"Photoshop, huh? Hn. I guess it is a little unproportional." she cocked her head to look at the picture better. "You've got a nice back for an ex-anbu. Not too many scars."
"Why are you looking at fake porn anyway!" He grabbed the mouse and quickly deleted the picture, teeth gnashing together at the site.
"Heeey! I was spying on villagers with that program… now I'll never be able to find it again." she stared at the computer dumbly. "I hate trying to work these things…bring it back, Hatake!" she pointed at the screen.
"It was just a myspace." he growled.
"Put it back on the screen! There were more pictures!"
Kakashi stood up stiffly, and turned on his heel not bothering to even pass her a farewell.
"WAIT!"
His fists clenched. "What?"
"So you have a girlfriend?"
"None of your business."
"Boyfriend?"
"Still none of your business."
"You promise you weren't screwing any of your students in the forest outside campus?"
"NO!"
"Okay, you may leave now."
He didn't bother to listen to the last part of her sentence and had disappeared completely.
Shizune was bright red in the corner of the office, but Tsunade remained unaffected by Kakashi's uncharacteristic behavior. In fact, she was more put out about the fact she couldn't navigate her computer any longer. "Shizuuuuneeeeee…. bring it baaaaack!"
Her secretary walked over and quickly brought the website back. "Maybe you should ask me before you call in your Shinobi to accuse them of such things." she suggested meekly. "Sometimes you can tell when the pictures are fake." she explained gently.
Tsunade pursed her lips and located the scroll button, the only button she knew. "Yeah, that's a good idea."
o0O0o
Iruka glanced over his shoulder when the door slammed shut from the other room. He pushed a cup of tea to Kakashi's seat and sipped quietly at his own while playing a word game in the morning newspaper. "What did Tsunade want?" he asked casually, waiting for the inevitable thud of his boyfriend in the chair opposite him.
"She accused me of molesting my students because she found some horribly photoshopped picture on the internet!" he exploded, barely missing his cup of tea with an exuberant back hand.
Iruka nearly spit his green tea onto the table, leaning forward over his newspaper in squelched laughter. "You're kidding…?"
"No! She found some stupid picture some stupid person made on a myspace and thought it was real! The old hag must be loosing her eyesight because it was a horrible job." He muttered, throwing the entire steaming cup down his throat before slamming it on the table empty. "I want. To kill her."
Iruka's calm smile never wavered from the sedate pose on his lips, smooth skin glistening in the morning light. He poured them each another cup of tea and lifted his to curved delectable lips. "You see what computers have done to people? They should be considered weapons."
Kakashi shot their own computer a baleful look. "I'm going to kill that person when I find them."
Iruka didn't mind the threat and leaned back over his paper gracefully, hair shifting to the side of his head and playing by his cheek. "You're cute when you're angry."
"Hn."
The teacher could only smirk a bit. "I love you, too, Kashi."
o0O0o
'Dear asshole-
That is the stupidest picture I have ever seen. I am an Academy teacher and do not appreciate this depiction of a teacher molesting his students. I advise you to take it off. Or else.'
Kakashi read over the letter, then scowled in frustration. He leaned over the keyboard again to proceed with his hunt and peck method of typing in order to re-do his letter.
'To-whom-it-may-concern,
I am an Academy teacher and do no appreciate this depiction of a fellow teacher molesting his student. And I seriously doubt that the Sharingan-Kakashi would appreciate it when he found it. I advise you to take it off before tomorrow when I give him this web address. He is very capable of hunting you down. Yours truly, Academy teacher'
Happy with this version, he hit the send button and watched the little bubble pop up on his screen declaring that his letter had been sent. Satisfied finally, he stood and went to the living room. Iruka was currently lifting weights before their lunch time excursion to feed the hungry fox at Ichiraku's. "Iruka."
"Hm?"
"Nothing." he took the weights out of his boyfriend's hands and discarded them just before dropping to his knees above the startled man.
"Hey-!"
A ravishing mouth attached to Iruka's neck, and greedy hands suddenly became trespassing hands. Indeed, there was nothing better to Kakashi than a flustered teacher between his legs and a pulsating chuunin beneath his lips. Nothing in the world could match it.
Yay for fluffy protesting! Had to throw in some ravishing in there, ne? Did you like this chapter, too? I hope you did!
