She felt like such a fool. Of course Lady Sylvanas didn't want her. She didn't want anyone.
She picked up her dragging feet wondering how she was going to get over this. If she focused on her duties, and distracted herself with the city maybe it would get better overtime. But for now her thoughts continuously seemed to drift back to the other night.
That's where I first saw her acting so peculiarly.
She walked a little faster head down trying to rid herself of the memory.
She had been so worried about her. The thought of Sylvanas being in any sort of distress had jerked at her heart. She had known long before that moment she cared deeply for the Dark Lady but she hadn't known how much.
And you were so desperate to have her feel the same way.
"Dark Ranger Cyndia."
She lifted her head startled by her own lack of attention.
"Yes Alchemist Donald?"
"I want to personally apologize for what happened. If only we were quicker to realize you wouldn't have been put into that situation-"
"I appreciate it but I don't want to talk about it."
He frowned at her but she kept walking.
"Please, if you get a moment, stop by the Alchemy stand later I have something for you."
"I can't promise I will but thank you."
"Okay. May the Dark Lady watch over you."
It was said out of habit and she saw the regret in his choice of farewell immediately, but they both chose to ignore it. She nodded and tried not to show how badly she wanted to just cry.
Days passed since that night and she had not seen Lady Sylvanas once.
It had her wondering if the woman were avoiding her. Today they had no choice but to cross paths as the Dark Rangers were meeting.
She stood off to the side, head down and eyes on the tops of her boots. Dark Ranger Velonara noticed her strange behavior and whispered to her quietly as they waited for their queen's arrival.
"You better straighten up Cyndia."
She shifted her posture and Velonara nodded her approval. She didn't keep the stance for long though, as her thoughts kept getting away from her. Velonara gently elbowed her to remind her the moment Sylvanas arrived.
Sylvanas always drew her attention. Even now, fearing what she might see on her leader's face she didn't want to look away. However, her expression was listless but her eyes dissecting. The red orbs passed over each one of them as she stood before them in the throne room.
When their eyes met it felt like a kick to the stomach. Sylvanas looked angry with her, her eyes burning with an emotion she knew close to be loathing. It was the last look she wanted from her leader's eyes.
Sylvanas gaze did not linger very long. She quickly moved on to address their patrols, and assigned tasks outside the city walls. She expected to be sent away but her Queen didn't even speak with her. It further added to her heartbreak. You really are a fool. She thought.
"Dark Ranger Cyndia." She snapped her head up. "If you can not pay attention, I do not want you here."
"I apologize my queen...you have my full attention." She had to speak around the lump in her throat. Sylvanas was treating her unusually cold today.
Sylvanas returned to discussing more of their weekly duties. When it was over she was the first ranger to start for the door.
"Dark Ranger Cyndia you are to remain behind."
Velonara gave her a sympathetic look as she and the rest of the rangers left.
Sylvanas did not speak to her right away. It felt like she want to even look at her. That in itself was killing her.
"The Alchemists are pestering me about you. See that you visit them today."
"As you wish my lady."
Sylvanas peered at her from beneath her hood. She wanted to leave, and escape the miserable feelings washing over her.
"If that's all my queen-"
"No. There is something else."
Sylvanas felt towering as she neared her, red eyes still full of an unmasked hatred.
"Why didn't you leave when I asked you to?"
What?
"It was an order but you refused."
" I…couldn't. "
Sylvanas was not pleased with her answer, and her brow hardened even more.
"I should punish you for such disobedience."
"If that's what you wish…"
Sylvanas began to slowly walk around her, as if she were cataloging her. Dread sat heavily in the pit of her stomach while she anxiously awaited what Sylvanas would do next.
"Take of your cloak."
She snapped her eyes to her leader, the woman was serious, her gaze heavily set on her. Whatever she asked of her...
Her hands shook as she released the clasp but the fabric soon fell to the floor.
Sylvanas' eyes continued to burn into her and she could not face meeting her expression any longer. Was this an attempt to humiliate?
"Turn around."
She did so resisting the urge to look back at her over her shoulder.
"You are to stay there until I say so."
"Yes, my lady."
So she waited. Staring at the wall decorated with skulls. She could hear Sylvanas moving around, her boots making the faintest of taps against the stone.
She only grew more anxious as nothing happened.
She must've stood there for twenty minutes before Sylvanas' footsteps began their gradual return towards her. Her nerves skyrocketed with each fall.
Then they stopped. Mere inches behind her. She wanted to turn but fought it.
Sylvanas' hand touched her lower back and a sound escaped the back of her throat from the unexpected contact.
"Consider that a lesson in obedience. You may go."
She moved from her spot almost instantly and retrieved her cloak from the ground. She quickly left the throne room her limbs feeling like gelatin as she moved.
Sylvanas had aimed to teach her a lesson but obedience wasn't her problem. It was her feelings.
"Dark Ranger Cyndia. Thank you for showing!"
"I was ordered to."
"Oh...well the why doesn't matter. You're here and we have a solution to your problems."
She sighed. She needed a miracle not a potion.
"My coworker and I have concocted a potion that would let you forget."
"Donald I-I don't need to forget."
"Yes well…Lady Sylvanas thinks it would be best if-"
"She put you up to this?"
"No. We suggested it and she agreed it would be favorable."
She couldn't hear anymore. This was too much.
She spun on her heels and marched off.
"Cyndia wait! Come back!"
He did not chase her and it was the only thing she was grateful of him for.
She went to the Rogue's quarter to take out her anger on the target dummies.
Her hits were sloppy but she was unfocused. All she cared about was hitting them hard, to try and get the thick wood to crack. It was either her or the dummy she thought. How dare they…..This was her life. They had no control over it.
She felt a twinge of pain in her wrist but kept hitting.
She had only been trying to help…And what was she supposed to think! Each hit of her knuckle against the wood took a little more skin with it. She welcomed the pain. It made her feel alive.
She threw even harder punches before an unexpected body pulled her away, wrapping limbs around her waist from behind.
"You're going to injure yourself beyond repair you foolish girl!"
Sylvanas let go of her as soon as she moved her far enough back.
Unexplainable tears filled her eyes and she thought she saw her leader's shift with guilt.
"It doesn't matter."
"It doesn't matter?" Sylvanas growled back. "Of course it does. Now stop this behavior at once."
The first tear fell and there was no holding back the rest. She wiped at them furiously as Sylvanas stood there looking at her as though she were a festering maggot.
"You don't have to worry about me telling anyone…" she hiccuped. "Why are you forcing me to take a potion?"
"That's what you think I'm doing?"
Sylvanas shook her head and sighed.
"I am not forcing you to do anything of that nature. It was an option I thought they should make available to you. "
"But why?"
"Why?" Sylvanas looked angry once more " Look what it's done to you. To me. I can't even look at you the same way."
"But I don't want to forget."
"So you can keep lusting after me?" Sylvanas growled coldly. "There was nothing between us but a potion Cyndia. I cannot feel as I did in life."
"If you want me to take the potion. I will…"
Sylvanas eyes regarded her just as coldly but it did not reach her voice.
"I will not command that of you."
She let out a shaky breath, willing her tears to stop but they continued to fill her eyes.
"I am sorry."
"You're sorry?"
"Yes...I've been doing a lot of thinking and I realized you were a victim…I took advantage of you in a weakened state. I practically ra-"
Sylvanas stopped her with a hand to her mouth, angry once more.
"No. Do not think of it like that. You did not know of my impairment. I should have mentioned my suspicions from the start."
Sylvanas' hand fell away and she stepped back.
"You only did what I asked of you after…"
Sylvanas looked at the ground a moment before lifting her gaze.
"I will speak with Donald. As for your injuries…go and see the first aid stand. Let them know I will pay the cost."
"I couldn't-"
"Go."
She forced herself to move while Lady Sylvanas stayed behind. The sound of an arrow hitting the target told her that she wasn't the only one wanting to make use of the targets.
