Pansy woke up from a nightmare, same as every night. She shivered as the cold air blew into the open window, and exited her bed to close it. Daphne needed the cold air to sleep, Millicent complained and slept closest to the fire. Pansy, however, was peaceable enough to not mind. That was because she barely slept anyway, and the temperature had nothing to do with it. She knew she was edging closer to her birthday, her coming of age. She knew that she would be taken to the Dark Lord and given the Mark. She hated the whole idea of it. Sure, she believed that supremacy was key, but she wasn't totally ok with the methods. Honestly, she hated the methods with every part of her able to. They were purebloods, they didn't need the Dark Lord… they didn't have to have him do what they could do themselves. They could even salvage others, worthy others. Pansy sighed and put on her school uniform. She wanted to go back up to the Astronomy Tower, and having her Prefect badge would give her an excuse if she got caught. As she walked down to the common room she saw Draco staring into the fire.
"Still awake, Draco?"
Draco just continued to stare at the fire, off in his own world. Pansy knew why, he had already been marked. For five years Draco had been holding out hope that the whole business would be settled without having to become involved, but that was all over after the incident at the Ministry. Draco was now as deeply involved as a person could get, and Pansy felt the effects of that on her friendship with him. They had been 'convenient' for one another, friends and an excuse for Draco to not show interest in other girls. Pansy knew that Draco liked Astoria, but Astoria had been dating a guy from her own year since last year. So to avoid drama, Pansy pretended that the two of them were 'involved'. She had wanted that at first, but she now had other ideas, and those ideas were a part of the problem.
Pansy crept out of the door, and up to the Astronomy Tower to think. She walked over to the far edge, and looked up at the stars. All she could see was a messy head of black hair and piercing green eyes. Pansy shook her head. "He's the enemy. I… He is against everything that the Dark Lord stands for. He's friends with the worst lot… and…" Pansy paused as she thought she heard a rustling behind her.
"Is someone there?" Pansy turned around and looked. Seeing nobody, she turned back around to think about the boy who she had a very large crush on. Pansy wasn't sure when she started noticing Harry Potter like that, but once she realized it for what it was, it was a torrent of emotions she wasn't prepared for. Every time she walked past him in the hallway, her breath caught in her throat and her eyes glazed over. She became even more angry and vindictive because of that loss of control. Both Draco and Blaise noticed the change, but being boys, neither bothered to ask. Pansy sighed and shivered. If she could only have his strong arms wrapped around her, she could sleep. If only she had been born to a less aligned pureblood family. She would have a choice. She could at least satisfy this curious feeling she had whenever she thought about Harry Potter. Suddenly there was a voice from behind her.
"You look cold"
Pansy turned around and was speechless, at first. How? She was furious! How could he just stand there and listen to her!
"Were you here the whole time?" She attempted to glare at him, but she felt her Slytherin defenses failing as she looked into those emerald green eyes. Then his voice spoke out and the last of her façade was broken.
"I didn't want to disturb you"
Pansy felt something deep in the pit of her stomach ache for him to touch her, ache for his lips pressed against hers. Here he was, the object of her obession, and they were alone together. Before she could think, her mouth was moving and words were coming out, and then his arms wrapped around her and drew her in tight, his deep breathing and his strong arms keeping her warm, making her feel safe. They stood like that, gazing up at the stars as she just soaked in the essence of being in his arms. None of the other boys felt real, not her fake time with Draco, not her attempts at a relationship with Blaise, none of them felt like this, this was real. She suddenly thought of something, and turned around to ask
"Harry, Why do you stand up here?"
She held her breath, hoping it wasn't his pining after some other girl, that it was something she didn't have to think about or second guess.
"I can't sleep most nights. Coming up here helps me think. What about you? Why were you up here tonight?"
Pansy paused. She was up here, or somewhere most nights, worried sick about having to become one of 'them'. Before his return, before the incidents at the Ministry, it seemed more like a formality, like wearing green and silver and cheering for Slytherin. Then he returned and it all became very real. Somehow, somewhere in all of that mess, she couldn't stop obsessing over the boy everybody on her side was supposed to want dead. She didn't want him dead, she wanted him very much alive with his arms wrapped around her!
"You.. I…" And then Pansy felt herself lose control. She was kissing Harry, who seemed surprised at first and then welcomed it. She was amazed at how well he kissed and at the passion he seemed to put behind it, like he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. He wrapped his arms around her and drew her in closer. She accepted, instinct taking over reason, her brain ceasing to work. At some point he broke the kiss and asked.
"Why?"
Pansy, in no mood to reconcile reason, just looked at him and said. "I don't know when, I just know…" and they were back at it again. They at some point moved inside, and under his invisibity cloak walked up and down the corridor until a door appeared. Once inside their lips met again and Pansy allowed her passion to take over.
