Ryuji glared at the skeezy-looking young salaryman in the ill-fitting suit staring at the girls.

"Eyes to yourself, jackass!" he yelled. The salaryman rolled his eyes and looked away, running a hand through his sweat-slicked mop of unruly brown hair as he turned back to the sushi bar.

Ryuji shook his head. "What a freakin' perv," he said with a scowl.

Ann smacked him on the arm. "Don't make a scene!" she hissed. "God, Ryuji. You're gonna get us thrown out!"

Ryuji rubbed his arm. "What the hell?" he said. "Dude was bein' a total sleazebag! You want me to let him get away with it?"

"If that's what it takes to eat in peace," Makoto said. "I wouldn't like to cross the proprietors of this place."

Yusuke nodded sagely.

"They display a most remarkable poise," he said. "An unprepossessing exterior, yet beneath, there roils the aura of a killer." His eyes closed in a beatific smile. "How lovely."

"You're so weird, Inari," Futaba murmured through a mouthful of sushi. Her chopsticks stabbed at more rolls with the speed of an assassin's dagger. "Speaking of weird, this place is the weirdest best sushi restaurant ever."

Ryuji looked imploringly to Ren for support. He shrugged, an expression Ryuji had come to understand as Sorry dude, you're on your own, and returned to his sushi.

"This place is kinda nuts," Ryuji said. The Phantom Thieves sat clustered around a table piled high with platters of sushi of every description. On three sides, snow-white faux marble covered the walls in a credible impression of Tsar Nicholas's Winter Palace. Dark-blue columns curved from the walls at regular intervals. The room's doorway opened into the main floor of the restaurant, which bustled with customers. Behind the counter, the owner of Russia Sushi swung a knife with inhuman speed and cold focus. Ryuji scowled at the back of the young salaryman sitting at the counter. As he returned his attention to the sushi platter in front of him, a sudden prickle of anticipation washed over him. He shook out his shoulders to ease it off.

"Man, I am fired up!" he said. "This Palace is nuts. What the hell's with all those weird game pieces, anyways?"

"Hey, not so loud!" Futaba said between mouthfuls. "Betcha some cops eat here."

"Yeah, yeah," Ryuji said. "It's cool, this place is super packed. Nobody's gonna hear a thing."

"I do have to agree with Ryuji," Makoto said. "The Palace is quite remarkable. Our target must be a very troubled individual."

A fluffy head poked up from Ren's bag.

"He's definitely demented," Morgana said. "This guy is on a completely different level from Kaneshiro or Madarame. He'll be a very formidable opponent."

"His sense of aesthetics is to be commended," Yusuke said, "if not his predilection toward egomania."

"I am so not looking forward to fighting his Shadow," Ann said. "I guess there's, like, zero chance that we'll be able to grab the Treasure and sneak out."

"Man, when has that ever worked?" Ryuji said. "We're gonna hafta kick his ass."

"Ryuji's right," their leader said. "We'll have to fight our way out of this one, just like the others."

Around the table, heads nodded. Ryuji smiled fiercely in appreciation. The Phantom Thieves would put another asshole in their place.

Futaba's glasses gleamed in the light of her phone as her thumbs flew over its screen.

"I was always suspicious of the crazy stuff about Ikebukuro people posted online, but after seeing the guys running this place, I'm starting to believe it," she said. "I wanna meet the guy who can throw vending machines!"

"Throw vending machines?" Ryuji said, awestruck. "For real?"

Futaba nodded. "Better not make him mad if we meet him!" she said with a malevolent cackle.

"We're so gonna die," Ann said.

"Hey, I didn't even do anything yet!" Ryuji said. As usual, his protests fell on deaf ears.

Makoto considered Futaba's words with her usual unflappable composure.

"I'm not so sure I believe the rumors," she said. "Even after seeing the Metaverse, a normal human being that strong still sounds impossible."

"It's too bad he's not a Persona user," Morgana said between bites of tuna. "Somebody that strong would be a big asset to our team."

"Uh, I don't know about that, Morgana," Ann said. "He sounds seriously scary."

"If he can throw a vending machine, think of how far he can throw a person," their leader commented, his eyes betraying no hint of whether he was joking.

Ryuji's eyes widened.

"Dude, don't say stuff like that!" he said, fighting back a stammer. Ren calmly returned to eating his sushi. Ryuji figured he was probably just messing with them, but man, Ren had a good poker face.

"Such a man would make a most remarkable subject," Yusuke said. "Perhaps I shall seek him out."

"If you stalk him like you did me, you'll probably die," Ann said. "Let this one go, okay?"

"Very well," Yusuke said. "But I make no promises for when the operation has concluded."

"Speaking of the heist, are we ready to send the calling card?" Makoto asked. "We're going to be on a very tight schedule."

"Can we go over our plan for that again?" Ryuji asked. "Futaba keeps typing on her phone and laughing, but you guys haven't told us the details yet."

"It's no fun to spoil the surprise!" Futaba said. "Trust me, this is going to knock his socks off."

"By all accounts, this Izaya rules over a vast information network," Yusuke said. "His Palace certainly bears out those rumors. How do you propose to avoid his detection when sending the card? We may find ourselves in serious danger if such a man should find us out."

Futaba huffed, looking cross. "I already thought of that, Inari!" she said with peevish disdain. "Sheesh. Unlike the rest of you, I appreciate the importance of encryption. Which is why I came up with this plan."

Futaba nudged aside her plates, and slid her laptop onto the table. She popped up the lid, roused the computer from sleep mode, and spun it to face the group. The web browser open on the screen displayed a circular logo emblazoned against a dark backdrop, with an unremarkable password box in the bottom half of the logo. Ryuji recognized the site immediately.

"The Dollars?" he said. "What are they gonna do?"

"The Dollars?" their leader asked.

"Wow, Ryuji beat out Ren?" Futaba said. "Mona, did he not sleep last night?"

"A phantom thief never sells out his leader," Morgana said with an expression of serene discretion.

"Give the guy a break," Ryuji said. "I only know about them 'cause I ran a track meet last year with a guy who was nuts about them. He talked about 'em non-stop, said he was one of the earliest members. It sounded cool, so I checked the site out, but I never got the password."

"Whereas I don't stop till the walls crumble before me!" Futaba said. "These guys hand out passwords like candy nowadays, anyways. Total lack of infosec."

"Seriously guys, what are the Dollars?" Ren asked. "I wasn't joking, I really don't know."

"It can be tough to tell with you sometimes," Makoto said. "Essentially, they're an anonymous group centered on an online forum open to anyone with the password. I've seen local reports refer to them as a gang, but that label doesn't feel quite right."

"A color gang without a color," Yusuke said. "How poetic." He chuckled.

"That's interesting, but how are we going to use them for the calling card?" Ann said.

"They'll be our unwitting mouthpieces, Lady Ann," Morgana said. "Members of the Dollars are spread all throughout the district. If we post the calling card on their discussion board, everyone in Ikebukuro's going to be talking about it within minutes. There's no way an information broker could miss a rumor like that, especially not one as competent as this Orihara."

"I'll do one better," Futaba said. "I'm gonna put the calling card on the login page, too. You won't even be able to think about checking the Dollars page without getting a face-full of phantom thievery!"

Futaba flipped the laptop back towards her, and began humming contentedly as her fingers flew over the keys.

"I may not be sold on reforming society, but man, this is fun!" she said. "There's some corporate websites I could take down next-"

"Um, maybe we'd better stop at messing with a gang for now," Ann said. She looked slightly alarmed. "Is this really gonna be OK?"

"Relax," Futaba said. "These guys are small fry. People join to be in on the trend." She stretched and yawned. "Hacking their page was so boring, it made me need a nap." She waggled her fingers over the keyboard and looked at Ren. "You want I should send it or what?"

The Phantom Thieves leaned inwards around the table, sharing glances. Some were reserved; some were eager. Ryuji knew his was probably the most eager of all. He might not be of much help in the planning phase compared to the rest of them-well, except Ann-but when it came to punishing the bastards who lived for making other people's lives miserable, nobody's righteous fury burned brighter than his.

Ren spun a chopstick through his fingers, looked to Futaba, and nodded.

"Do it," he said.

"One cup of instant rumor, coming right up!" she said. Keys clattered furiously for a moment, then fell silent.

"Makeover complete," she said with a triumphant smirk. "How long do you wanna give it until we go?"

"We shouldn't need more than an hour," Makoto said. "According to Futaba, he's a Dollars member himself. He's bound to notice very quickly."

Ann beamed. "So we have time to finish eating!" she said. "Thank god!"

Yusuke looked as though he'd been struck. His eyes dropped to the table, upon which plate upon plate of sushi still sat.

"Who is paying for all this?" he asked. "I'm afraid I'm quite broke…"

"Dude, why didn't you say so!?" Ryuji said. "We ordered a freakin' ton of sushi!"

"Sojiro said he'd pay for me and Ren!" Futaba said. She grinned, clearly relishing her next words. "But not you, Inari. Sorry!"

"I just had a photoshoot, Yusuke, so I'll cover you," Ann said. "You better not have spent all your money on brushes again!"

Yusuke remained silent, his eyes firmly fixed on the table. Ann's strangled growl of frustration made a credible impression of a feral cat.

Ryuji shook his head in exasperation. "Dude, you need to figure out your priorities." He'd been hanging out with Yusuke for months, and still had no idea what made the guy tick.

The group laid into the sushi with renewed vigor. Ryuji more than did his part. He was about to be risking his life, after all; he felt like he deserved his money's worth.

As Ann scooped up the very last piece, Makoto checked her phone.

"We should go," she said. "I'd like to see what people are saying before we get ready to take Izaya's heart."

Ren mumbled his assent through a last mouthful of sushi.

"Hell yeah!" Ryuji said. "I bet they're all talking about us already. We're going to take that scumbag Izaya down!" The surge of adrenaline which manifested itself before every heist was already pumping him up. They'd nail this bastard for sure.

Makoto clambered to her feet, turned to go, and yelped as she came face-to-face with six and a half feet of towering Afro-Russian looming in the doorway.

Ann jumped. Ryuji scrambled backwards, bumping into the wall, as Futaba dove behind Ren with a yelp. He and Yusuke appeared unruffled.

"How long have you been there?" Makoto squeaked.

The man's smile was wide and disarming. "I bring bill!" he said. "My Japanese, not so good." He placed the bill on the table, beaming. "Come Russia Sushi again soon. Good for you!"

Ryuji's heart ceased jackhammering against his chest.

"Man, you scared the crap outta us!" he said. "How can a dude your size be that stealthy?"

"Is nothing!" Simon said. "Simple trick. You flatter Simon."

"Uh, sure, man," Ryuji said. "Thanks for the sushi, I guess?"

The man's smile grew even wider.

"Most welcome! You children have good night. Come again!"

The group collectively slumped forward in relief as Simon strode away.

"That was way too close," Ann said. "How did he get there without us noticing?"

"Even I didn't see him," Morgana said. "There's some strange people here in Ikebukuro."

"Let's do this so we can get home," Ryuji said. "This district's starting to freak me out."

The group paid their bill and made their way out of the restaurant, Ann warning Yusuke that he'd better save up and take her out to eat somewhere nice in compensation. As they pushed through the door and spilled out into the street, Simon watched them go, wishing them a good night once more. The same impossibly wide smile remained plastered on his face, but Ryuji could have sworn he saw concern in the man's eyes.

The group forged their way through the sea of humanity flowing throughout the heart of Ikebukuro. Ren and Ryuji formed a battering ram in front of Futaba, as she was constantly jabbing away at her phone while snickering to herself.

"Just a few more minutes," she said. "I'm really making him mad now."

"That's a good thing…right?" Ann asked, a slight note of uncertainty in her voice.

"Relax, he's not gonna find us," Futaba said. "He's good, but I'm better!" She said the last words with a triumphant lilt.

"Where are we gonna go in from?" Ryuji asked. "It's way too crowded out here to do it out in public."

"We've the whole district to choose from," Yusuke said. "Finding a suitably quiet area should not prove difficult."

"He's right," Ren said. "We just need to find an empty back alley. Shouldn't be very hard."

Ann nodded. A fierce tone crept into her voice. "Are we ready to do this?" she said. Her eyes flashed. "I'm not going to let that bastard talk any more girls into killing themselves."

Ryuji pounded his fist into his palm. "Hell yeah!" he said. "We're going to stop him right here and now."

Ren nodded in quiet agreement. His glasses gleamed with light reflected from the nearby streetlight.

"Well, we can dive in anytime," Futaba said. "He's definitely aware of us now. He's been trying to backtrace me for the last five minutes. I left a few dead ends for him to enjoy." She snickered, then stared as a van emblazoned with a giant manga girl rolled by.

"Hey, I've seen that online! I never thought I'd see it in person," she said. "I want to meet the guy who drives that."

"The brushwork is well-executed, but I question the taste," Yusuke said.

"Yeah, he seems like the kinda guy who'd be a little too glad to meet you, Futaba, y'know?" Ryuji said. Anybody who could get out of bed in the morning and slide behind the wheel of a car looking like that couldn't be entirely right in the head.

Futaba scowled.

"Don't buy into those lame stereotypes!" she said.

Ren coughed politely.

"Let's go, guys," Makoto said. She gestured into a nearby alley. "Here should be fine." Though crammed between two hulking office towers, the alley bathed in warm light from fixtures on the sides of the buildings. Not a single person could be seen anywhere within.

The Phantom Thieves assembled in the dim light of the alley. Ryuji clenched his fists. Just like the moment before the horn sounded the start of a race, the moment before the plunge into the Metaverse set every nerve ending in his body quivering.

Ren pulled out his phone and keyed open the Metaverse Navigator.

"Izaya Orihara, game board, all of Ikebukuro."

The world rippled before their eyes.

A/N:

I couldn't resist thinking about a P4xP5 crossover, and since the games that'll give us that seem to be a while away yet, I ended up writing the below to stop the thoughts from rattling around in my head. It seemed clear to me that the meeting had to be mid-heist, but inserting the IT into any of the existing Palaces would seriously disrupt the character dynamics, so why not a new target? After that, I simply couldn't resist tossing in Durarara to add some extra chaos to the mix.

On to some logistical notes. I've necessarily had to shift Durarara's timeline about a bit in order to coincide it with the timeline of Persona 5. This story takes place in August of P5's timeline, after Futaba's recruitment and the beach trip. The Durarara characters exist in a nebulously-defined spot in the midst of S2 following Celty's meeting with Ruri. Sorry, Haru fans! I love her as much as you do, but I didn't want to set the story any later than August, due to the turn for the dramatic that P5 experiences beginning in September.

All characters will refer to their Personas by the original names. This is partly a concession to Arena & DAN, which do the same, and partly a fit of authorial pique, as I almost always find the originals the coolest; it should not be taken to indicate that the characters did not/will not complete their full story arcs as depicted in their games.

I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!