Author's Note: It's still kind of depressing but it's been so long and I can't really remember what I was doing with this piece anymore. I'm sorry if you had been waiting for another chapter. I actually wrote this quite a bit ago so this is not my current writing style (?). I've moved fandoms too so if you like Shingeki no Kyojin then expect a new story from that verse from me. Thanks for reading it thus far and I'm really sorry about all this angst I really have no clue how to write happy stories…;u;
It has been so long, I wonder if you would ever forgive me.
Iceland.
The wind blew against his hair as he stood near the mast. The sun was rising – a new day beginning. And he, he was coming back to mend what he had broken. To return and keep his promise once again. The storms that had terrorized the night faded. It was at the tips of the horizon behind them, billowing away, retracting. Like a fearful creature. He wondered how Iceland had coped; if he had forgotten him. It has been forever. Yet, he remembers every detail of his face, everything about him. But he knew that he had changed. He knew he wasn't returning to the same person, to the same Iceland. With time, comes change. And he is as fearful as the fading storm is of this change. All the questions, all the what-ifs…it haunts and plagues him; makes him doubt. But he must return.
Would you remember me? Have you forgotten me; felt that I've betrayed you?
But this time, I will keep my promise. Never again will I leave you. I promise.
Believe in me.
I hope you'll remember me.
…Are you still waiting for me?
Forgive me. The anguish you must've felt – how can I ever make up for that?
He can see the rocky shore – it reflected the light of the sea as the sun rose higher. Behind the rocky shore of jagged stones, protruding out, was a cliff. The cliff was capped with snow. It was hardened snow, dirty snow, which had been there for a good amount of time and rained upon. There had been a storm, and he wondered if Iceland was safe. Or, perhaps, and he desperately hoped this wasn't true, if Iceland had stayed out at the cliff waiting for him. Iceland always took everything seriously, even if he doesn't show it. They were the same that way. Or had, until he broke his own promise. The most important promise…and he…he…
How will I be able to restore our love? How can I even face you?
I would never know what to say, what to do.
If only – If only I can change what I had done. This decision…that I ended up regretting every day, every moment of my life. I'm always thinking about you; thinking about what could've been.
If you'd only allow me to say one thing, then please, let me say this:
"I'm sorry."
He whispered into the winter breeze, a tear sliding down his pale cheek. Wiping it off, he turned away from the shore and walked toward the captain who was steering the ship.
"Dock at the shore. To the right, there is a place where the rocks aren't as high. There's stairs carved out there. There, it is possible to go up the cliff," Norway told the captain; turning away and, not waiting for a reply, went back to his cabin.
He needed time to think, although he had already thought of this many time through, of what to say when he meets Iceland. If he meets Iceland. Or perhaps, if Iceland would meet him. He has so much to say, and yet so little to say. What, exactly, can he say? He can say he regrets his decision, and try to get Iceland to forgive him. He can explain why it took him so long to get back and find him. Or will he be at a loss for words when they finally meet again? He knew he himself had changed a lot, if only in appearance. How would Iceland react, how would he react to Iceland? Everything has changed so much. Nothing's the same anymore.
The ship landed at the shore, and Norway, with several of the crew clamoring after him, dashed up the rocky crevices, having done so numerous times. At the top of the cliff, he'll be able to see Iceland's cottage. He feared what he would see, what he would say, but he continued to go up. He must. Kicking at rocks and pushing himself up, he didn't care about his surroundings. He needed to see Iceland. But the doubting voice inside his mind keeps taunting him.
Will Iceland really want to see you? Would he ever forgive you? Will he?
Finally, he reached the top, and almost fell back at what he saw. For before him was Iceland, covered in dirt snow; unconscious and alone with only his puffin to keep him company.
Iceland…
No, no, no, no, no…W-What have I done?
You can't die! No!
A-Am I too late?
Running over toward Iceland, Norway fell into the soggy snow several times. But he continued to drag himself across; toward Iceland. When he reached Iceland and tried to lift him up, Iceland's puffin squawked indignantly and began to bite at his hands. However, he didn't care if his hands were getting cut and were bleeding. He had Iceland. They were together again. Clinging to his brother, he closed his tearful eyes and cries into his chest.
Th-ump, Th-ump.
Iceland was alive. His weak heart strained to be heard, as if grasping for reality – In hopes of answering Norway's tears. Echoing, 'I'm still here', though faintly.
"I'm sorry, Iceland…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sor-" Norway repeated in cracked whispers, cradling Iceland as he wrapped his arms around Iceland's back; clinging to him.
I'll never, ever let you go again.
W-We'll start anew, and I'll always be with you so don't go away, please; don't die.
Please don't leave me alone.
Although I have done it to you…and for that, I am a sinner. But give me time, I'll make it up to you. Just…Just don't leave me.
Please.
Hearing voices and footsteps from behind him, Norway realized that his crew had arrived at the top as well. They grew silent as they realized that Norway was holding someone; someone who looked dead. Glaring, Norway said tartly, in between stifled hiccups, "Get the medical supplies from the ship and get it to that cabin at the far end of this cliff. Go!" He turned away from his crew as they scrambled to do as he said; averting their eyes. Ignoring everyone; including the puffin that was still repeatedly attacking him, he lifted Iceland up bridal style. With shock, he discovered that Iceland was incredibly light.
Have you even been eating properly, Iceland?
Why is it that you'd wait for me, when I had left you without a fight? How did you hold on for so long, waiting for me so endlessly, when I have been such a traitor to you?
How can you forgive me; how can I forgive myself?
Trudging back to the cabin, he ruminated. He feared for Iceland's health. He feared what Iceland's reaction would be when he wakes up. He feared death. He thought about all that they were and can be. He wondered what they are now. He was annoyed at the puffin. He wondered since when it had become so possessive and large. He wondered if he was being replaced. He thought, and thought. But most of all, he thought about Iceland and how he has failed as a brother; as a lover.
Never again will I leave you.
Jeg elsker deg, Island.
