"I can't believe we're doing this…" Reita mumbled to himself repeatedly as we got out his car and headed into the apartments. "I can't fucking believe I'm doing this"
I got out the car, the baby boy curled up in my arms enjoying my warmth. I followed Reita, who left the door open for us kindly, with a heavy sigh. Shutting the door, my arm gripping the boy on to my hip, I watched Reita press the evaluator button and to be blessed with a door immediately opening for us. I briskly followed the bassist in through the metal doors. As the door closed, silence fell. But only for a matter of painful seconds.
"Kami-sama, we could get arrested for this!" Reita exploded, burying his face in his manly hands
"Dude, we haven't kidnapped him" I reassured my lover, my eyes on the boy in my arms.
The baby's brown eyes looked up at me, his hands moving to grip on to my collar before he drove his face into the nape of neck in search of security and comfort.
"That's what we say, not what a judge would say! His parents are probably devastated!" Reita grumbled, scratching his neck as he became irritable.
"Ever thought that they may not be worried at all? Maybe they abandoned him"
"Takanori…" Reita drew out, his use of my birth name showing his annoyance "How likely is that, really?"
"I dunno, but we can't rule it" I argued stubbornly.
"I can't rule out 'lost child' either" the bassist frowned
I grinded my teeth and looked away from him, fixating my sight on the elevator's doors. The bell rang and the lift stopped. I hurriedly stepped out before Reita, readjusting the boy on my hip and marching down the hall, my spare hand rummaging through my pocket for my keys.
"Ruuu-kee" the boy said again, head out of my shoulder and now looking around at his new surrounds.
"That's me" I muttered, abandoning my anger for a moment to kiss the boy the head.
I paused, the key sitting in the lock. I looked at the boy's forehead, an imprint of my lips staining his skin. I wasn't sure why I did that. I shook myself from my thoughts, and turned the key, forcing the door open fiercely. I attempted to slam the door behind me but Reita got there too quickly, holding the door before it could shut in his face.
"Ruki-"
"What?!" I spat over my shoulder, heading straight for my room.
"You're getting attached-"
"I'm not! I'm just trying to NOT frighten him. Jeez, Rei" I scoffed, shutting my door behind me.
I leaned on the door, letting out a long breath I hadn't realised I had been holding. The boy struggled in my arms, whining and squeaking as he kicked his legs. Without a word, I slowly set the wiggling child down on the ground, keeping a watchful eye on him. As the baby looked round the room in awe, I allowed my legs to give way beneath me, allowing me to slowly slide down the door until I was sitting on the red carpet. I watched as the little boy's eyes fell on my bed. He made a squeal of glee before toddling over and reaching up for the old cuddly toys that decorated above my pillows. Well, a few old, a few were one's Reita had given me. I crawled over to him, reaching up to grab a lilac bunny my beloved bassist had given to me as an apology present. I handed to the baby, who took it from me wearily, eyeing it as if I handed him a dead alien. His little head turn to look straight up at me, his mouth in the shape of an O and his eyes wide. Then he grinned jumping up and down and shaking the toy in his hand vigorously. He squealed happily again, stamping his little feet. He hugged the rabbit to his chest, his smile slowly falling as he began to investigate my room again.
"Still need a name for you, eh?" I cocked my head to one side.
The baby blinked "Ichi"
"Ichi?" I repeated, only to have the child repeat himself, a slight sound at the beginning that I could not recognise. Upon getting the boy to repeat himself, I still couldn't understand "How about a newer name?" I offered enthusiastically, pausing for a minute as I rummage through my memory for a name I liked "Junichi?"
The baby blinked again. I pointed at him, my eyes looking straight into his own in a confident stare.
"Jun"
The toddler pointed to the centre of his face.
"Ds-oon" he repeated as best he could.
"Close enough" I laughed with a kind smile, pulling myself to my feet one again "Junjun?" I sang as I opened my arms out to him.
Baby Jun grinned, holding out his own arms as he ran to me, the rabbit still in one hand. I scooped Jun up into my arms and headed out the room.
"I bet you're hungry" I spoke to him cheerfully "I know I am"
Jun didn't seem to register what I was saying as he chewed the bunny's ear cheerfully making happy mutters to himself. I headed swiftly down the hall and towards the kitchen. I hovered outside Reita's own room for a second, satisfied as I heard the sound of the shower rushing before carrying on my way.
"What to feed you…" I mumbled as my eyes scanned the rec kitchen "Banana?"
Junichi looked up at me for a moment before going back to chewing the toy.
"Banana it is…" I made a single step forward before a question came to my head. I can't put him down, I have to keep an eye on him. I can't cut up a banana while holding him… I can peel a banana while carrying him either… I-
"Want a hand?" I jumped round to see Reita entering the kitchen, his blonde locks still dripping wet. "I have some pop-topped bottles of flavoured water somewhere. He'll probably drink that." He began to ramble "I'll cut the banana and you make sure he doesn't drop the bottle. Cool?"
"Cool" I stuttered out, a little surprise. I had honestly come to believe that Reita was going to be little help here. It nice when your lover proves your doubts of them to be wrong.
I watched as Reita found a bottle of strawberry water and popped the plastic cap off and left it on the side. I cleared my throat, staring at the abandoned lid until Reita got the gist to put it in the bin. With a sigh, he did so and handed the bottle to Junichi. The baby's eyes widened as he took the bottle slowly. He gave it a little shake before putting it in his mouth. Little Junichi scowled, taking the bottle out his mouth shooting daggers at it. As soon as it occurred to me, I popped the top for him. Junichi tried again, this time smiling. I looked round to see Reita busy away, now almost finished slicing the banana and placing it on a plastic plate. To this day I don't know why we had plastic plates. We never went on picnics. Oh well, it turned out to be rather convenient. Reita placed the plate on the kitchen table before slowly lifting Junichi out my arms without a word. I watched almost curiously as the blonde man sat down at the table with the baby on his lap, slowly taking the bottle away and introducing the child to a slice of yellow fruit. Junichi took hold of the banana piece opening his mouth wide as he did so and looking up at Reita as if to ask 'do I eat this? May I?' of which Reita led the food to the child's waiting mouth.
"So the plan is to keep him until morning and then phone the police" Reita spoke flatly.
It felt like a pin had pierced my heart.
"Yep" I spat, watching Junichi closely.
"You know, maybe we should phone up now-"
"What?" I quickly interrupted, my eyes quickly dashing to scowl at Reita
"Well, we may get in trouble for hiding him all night"
"We're not hiding him!" I snorted
"Yes but-"
"Look, if they ask, we'll say we just found him. We'll say we were driving home and found him along the way. We took him home and phoned them first thing. Instead of saying we found him the night before, okay?"
Reita grumbled, shaking his head at me disapproving me. He pushed the banana pieces around on the plate, closer to side Jun was closest too
"If you've got something to say, just fucking say it" I spat
Reita didn't answer my question "He's a hungry boy" he chirped fondly.
I leaned back against the wall, fiddling with a piece of red hair "Now who's getting attached" I muttered, luckily quietly enough to be unheard. Junichi ate the Banana pieces very slowly, every now and then leaving his head back to look up at Reita and smiling happily. I mumbled against getting ready for bed before slinking out the kitchen and heading for the bathroom. I closed the door quietly behind me, locking it for safety. I leave back against the brown wood and sighed heavily, closing my eyes for a second before pushing myself a way and heading towards the full body mirror next to the sink. The writing on my chest had now smeared horribly up to my neck, meeting with then 10 black lines I used to disguise the shape of my neck. I have quite a fat neck in my opinion. Not much of a jawline either. I hate it. Forbid any of my future offspring to take after me…
The thought floated around in my head. I'd never really wanted to be a parent. It was never my plan. It was always to succeed, it's always been like that. It only changed once to fit Reita into the picture; to succeed with Reita. With him as my partner, of course any idea of children never came to mind. We were two young men. Having babies wasn't our interest.
Now, suddenly for me it was. I wanted to be a daddy, and more importantly I wanted to be Junichi's daddy. In a few hours, all my wants had changed. I wanted to be teaching him out to talk, I wanted to teach him to write, I wanted to take him shopping, I wanted to teach him to sing, I wanted to go on tour and come back to see him cheering 'I saw you on tele daddy! You were amazing! When I grow up, I want to be just like you!'.
Maybe I'm asking too much of this world…
What am I expecting to happen? For the police to come over and just say 'Oh, he was just abandoned! Keep him!'. Like that would happen, it can't happen… As soon as we aware them that we have him, social services and the police will come over and take him away and we'll never see him again. It'll turn out that he was just lost and he'll go home to his parents and forget all about this…
A hopeful idea popped into my head-
Foster care. Maybe if he isn't just lost and he has nowhere to go, me and Reita could foster him! If they never find his parents or they don't want him, we could keep him!
I shook my head of my foolish, childish hopes. I took my black and white pin striped jacket off and chucked it on to the edge of the bath for the moment. I turned the tap on and quickly began slashing and rubbing my neck with the cool water. The palms of my hands turned grey with my make-up and when I finally looked at myself in the sink mirror, my checks were the same dull, depressing colour. My eyes were black like a panda and blood shot. My red and black lipstick was now smeared down my chin and up from the corners of my mouth. I looked sick. I looked insane. I looked like the joker had fallen over in cement and then been slapped multiple times by Batman. I stared at my reflection.
What am I thinking… How is a guy like me supposed to look after a little kid? Reita would be fine. He's a funny guy but he's mature and wise. I'm just an immature child whose only dream is to stand in a spot light.
I filled the sink up with warm water before plunging my face straight into it, bubbling bubbles that travelled up my cheeks to burst as they reached the water surface. The feeling was calming to me. I raised my head back out the water, taking a deep breath in as I did. Shortly following, a knock came from outside.
"Ru, you okay?" called a worried Reita.
Breathlessly, I pushed my damp fringe off my face and shouted back "I'm fine!"
"You sure? You sound like you're being strangled" he half laughed.
I could help but smirk "Not, just washing my face. I'll be out in a second!"
The dreary voice of Reita calling 'Kay' as he headed away echoed. I heard Junichi's baby happy giggle and a thumping sound. I immediately pictured him jumping up and down, hands raised his in a plead for Reita to hoist him up on to his shoulders. I sighed, looking at my appearance one last time before grabbing a flannel and beginning to scrub like there was no tomorrow.
An update! At last!
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