DISCLAMIER: I DO NOT OWN DR. HEINZ DOOFENSHIMRTZ. DISNEY DOES. NOR DO I OWN YOU OR THE PLACE CALLED CARTOONLAND, MAINLY BECAUSE I'M POSITIVE THAT CARTOONLAND EXISTS SOMEWHERE JUST NO WHERE NEAR ME YOU OF COURSE OWN YOURSELF UNLESS YOU REALLY DON'T :p AS FOR PSCYOCRAZYDOOFSUPERFAN#9001…I MAY HAVE CREATED THE NAME FOR THIS FIC FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES, BUT I'M SURE SHE/THEY EXIST SOMEWHERE…

After a few hours of debate, you realize that you were able to get to Cartoonland (you decide to call it that since you really don't have the time to come up with something more creative than that) by clicking on that specific story. So after much searching, you find THE LINK and are teleported to the same exact spot as before. Minis the rope of course.

But, to your surprise, you see that Doof is bound to a chair by someone who obviously knows how to tie a knot. Doof sees you and gives a small groan. "Great, you're here too. I realize now that making a teleport-to-me-link-inator was perhaps not the greatest idea I've had."

You stare at him confusion. What in the world is he talking about? It's then that you notice that you are not alone with the doctor. Approaching from the shadows is a teen girl with braided black pigtails wearing what looks like a Goth version of Alice in Wonderland's dress. Glowing above her head in green letters is the phrase PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001

"What really disturbs me about her user name is that I apparently have over 9000 crazy pscyo fans"

Hearing Doof say that, you decide now's not the best time to tell him that you too, are a fan of his awesome hilarity on the show. To the point where it may be bordering on insanity. After all, you did come here on purpose just to stalk Doof…

PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 stalks up to Doof who is still tied to the chair. You notice that he seems to cower as she approaches

"Alright Doofy, I have a few questions for you. One and most important, is Phineas Flynn your son? Do you really not recognize Agent P without his hat? And lastly, well, I don't have a third question, but I'll think of one sooner or later."

"Well, me not recognizing Perry the Platypus without his hat is part of my character. If you have a problem with that, you can take that up with Dan and Swampy. As for Phineas being….WAIT-Why would you think he and I are related?"

You and PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 both roll your eyes.

"Well," She says slowly, "There are a lot of similarities between yourself and Phineas"

You and PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 then proceed to list the similarities together.

"Your hair is similar" she begins

"Similar head shape"

"Tendency to slouch"

You blink. Phineas slouches? You think back to past episodes and realize with a start that Phineas does slouch!

While you sit frozen in surprise, PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 glances at you and rolls her eyes before turning her attention back to Doof.

"Alright Doofy, answer the question, are you or aren't you Phineas' father?"

Doof glares at her. "I don't have to say anything. And stop calling me Doofy! No evil villain would allow themselves to be called by such a ridiculously cute name!"

"What about Rodney? You call him that all the time to his disdain." You pipe up

Doof rolls his eyes "Like his full name he keeps trying to get us to call him by is any better? Seriously, by the time he finishes saying that, my daily battle with Perry the Platypus is loooong done. Sides, can you remember it?"

You shake your head no. PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 is staring at Doof like he suddenly grew another head.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" She screamed like a crazy person. You and Doof jump and stare at her like she's suddenly lost, which she may as well have.

"YOU'RE AVOIDING ANSWERING THE QUESTION!" PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 steps menacingly towards Doof, an utter crazy look in her eyes.

You guess where this may be going and look desperately for something to help Doof when you spot IT. The Button Doof had pressed to send you back home last time. Grabbing it, you aim it at PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001, prey it still works, and press the button. One puff of smoke later and PscyoCrazyDoofSuperFan#9001 is gone. Doof breathes a sigh of relief and begins to try to untie himself from the chair. You smile and walk over and help him.

"Thank you, fanfic reading person. For a moment there, I was afraid I'd have to answer her question."

You pause. Doof looks up at you.

"Uh, fanfic reading person? Aren't you going to finish untying the rope?"

You stare down at Doof.

"Are you Phineas father?"

Doof sighs and rolls his eyes at the ceiling.

"I am going to be in so much trouble later…" he mutters

Doof glares at you. "Let's just say I am not at liberty to tell you either way."

Then with surprising speed, Doof grabs the send-real-people-home-inator from you, presses the button and next thing you know you are back in your comfy chair staring at a computer screen. You glare at it venomsly when a random person walks in on you and sees your expression.

"Is there something on the computer you aren't pleased about?"

You continue to glare at the screen as you reply. "Yeah, you could say that."