A/N - I have been completely and totally blow away by the response to this story and thank you all so, so much. To every person who reviewed or favorited or alerted, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. You guys are awesome - this is the best fandom ever.:)
8:35 am 12th precinct, Beckett's desk
"Cat-burglars and ferrets!" Kate leaned back in her chair, finally drinking her coffee, and watched as Castle paced back and forth in front of her desk, too keyed up to sit still. "This is the best morning ever! Is it always this fun when you don't have a case? I should randomly come in more often."
"Talk to me after about an hour of paperwork, we'll see if you're still this excited." Kate bit her lip to hold back her smile, but she knew she was practically beaming at him anyway. At his infectious joy, the way he could find fun in anything. Intellectually she could remember a time when she found it annoying but she could no longer remember why. Not that he needed to know that.
"Don't tease me." Castle wiggled his eyebrows at her, and he was so over-the-top yet honestly charming that Kate had one of those surreal moments when she couldn't believe her life.
Castle was Richard freaking Castle, and she worked with him every day. She could call him wherever she wanted, and he dropped by her apartment when he needed to tell her something or just when he was bored. He wrote bestselling novels about a kick-ass awesome woman that he said was inspired by her, and he told her he loved her when he was afraid they were the last words she would ever hear. The awe she sometimes still felt for the celebrity, coupled with the aching tenderness she felt for the man both hit her at once, like a punch to the solar plexus, and she abruptly leaned back in her chair, her hand to her chest.
"Hey. You okay?" Castle stopped pacing, concern dropping over him in an instant, and it squeezed her heart that much more.
"Yeah." She shook her head and he was Castle again. Occasional goofball. Always her partner. The awe departed, but the tenderness remained, and she had the urge to step up beside him, to slip her hands under his jacket and around his back; to press her body against his just to feel his heat and solidity. She took a huge gulp of coffee, wincing a little as it burned on the way down. "I'm good."
"Okay." Castle paused, his eyes still searching her face, ascertaining for himself that she was all right. He did that a lot now. Kate pretended not to notice.
Castle must have decided to believe her, because he swung into his seat beside her desk and propped his chin up in his hand, his eyes twinkling at her. Twinkling? Oh, she had it bad today. She needed a case and she needed it right now, or she was in danger of spending the whole day mooning over Castle. This was an angry, violent city, why hadn't someone been shot yet?
"So," Castle opened the drawer next to him and pulled out the paperclip chain he worked on whenever he watched her do paperwork, "what's Esposito's deal with ferrets?"
"I don't know." Kate realized she sounded a little short, but she really needed to concentrate on working so that she could feel like a grown-up and not a puddle of infatuated goo, and it's just that he was right there. She flipped through the case file on her desk and saw the paperwork was already complete. Damn. Excuse gone. She looked up. "They're not that bad. This one is kind of cute."
Earlier Ryan had cracked the drawer just enough to give them a glimpse of the drugged-up ferret, asleep on its back with all four paws in the air. Castle made awwing noises while Esposito choked back a kind of a distressed gag and bolted towards the bathroom. He hadn't come back yet.
"You don't know? So there's a story here?" Castle got that look on his face, his building theory face. He sat up straighter, his mind obviously whirling. "Was he bitten by a ferret as a child? No. Boring. Did he unintentionally cause harm to a ferret in his youth, and thus becomes wracked with guilt whenever he is forced to confront one?"
Kate stifled an amused eye-roll as Castle stood up and began to pace back and forth again. "No, that won't work, because then he wouldn't be disgusted by ferrets. Instead, his guilt would drive him to protect them. Esposito would be like batman, but for ferrets."
Kate tilted her head at him and tried her best not to laugh, but some bubbled out anyway. "Batman for ferrets? Next you're going to say the ferret was a rogue CIA agent."
Castle stared at her like she was brilliant. "That would be awesome." He gasped. "It could have been involved in something like that pigeon project from WWII, the ones that carried messages? But with ferrets."
"Or maybe." Kate couldn't believe she was indulging him, but seemed unable to stop herself. "Maybe Esposito was abducted by ferrets. And probed. By ferrets."
"Oh my god, please let that be it." Castle stopped pacing and stood there with his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide with glee, staring at her like she was his most favorite person in the whole wide world. Kate had to look away.
"Well." She coughed a little, trying to get her heart out of her throat. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's something a little less dramatic."
"But I love dramatic!"
"Really?" Kate arched her eyebrow. "I did not know that about you."
Castle didn't even bother to respond as he shot her an excited smile over his shoulder and turned on his heel. He sauntered over to Ryan's desk and propped himself against the corner, motioning to Kate to come closer as he leaned down to whisper to Ryan.
"Ryan, dude. Why does Esposito hate ferrets?"
"You'll have to ask him, man." Ryan, still shaken from nearly getting busted by Gates, had been sitting at his desk doing paperwork and trying to keep it together. He was succeeding, sort of. He had almost stopped sweating, but his voice was still a little horse from the coughing.
"No, seriously, why? I'm just going to keep asking you." Castle leaned over farther in an attempt to stare in his eyes, like he was trying to hypnotize the story out of him.
Ryan refused to look up. "Believe me, you don't really want to know."
"Still asking. Because I do want to know. Why wouldn't I want to know? Why? Why? Why?"
Ryan slammed down his pen, his nerves shot. "Fine. His college roommate had a ferret."
Castle frowned. "That's it? His roommate had a ferret?"
"Look, I don't know the whole story, just that apparently, ferrets like to play with things that dangle and in college Esposito used to sleep commando."
Castle's face could not have been more horrified. He leapt to his feet, his hands in the air. "Never mind. You're right. I don't want to know."
"That's what I thought."
9:16 am, 12th precinct, bullpen
"Esposito! You okay, man?"
Kate closed her last case file and looked up to see Esposito coming back down the hallway. Ryan was sitting straight up at his desk, smiling at him hopefully.
Esposito stalked the rest of the way to his desk and threw himself into his chair. "I'm fine."
"You sure? You were gone kind of a long t…"
Esposito held up his hand to stop him. "I'm fine, bro. Just let it go."
Kate glanced at Castle, who was sitting in his chair staring at Esposito, his paperclip chain forgotten on the corner of her desk. He still had a faintly horrified look on his face, as though he wereimagining all the ways a ferret could wreck havoc on a man's tender anatomy.
Castle cleared his throat. "Have you been in the bathroom this whole time?
Esposito looked at him quizzically. "No. Why?"
"No…no reason."
Kate noticed that Castle was staring fixedly at Esposito's face, almost like he was trying not to glance at any other part of his body that may or may not have been mauled by ferrets. She couldn't resist.
"We blew it," Kate whispered so that only Castle could hear. "We didn't guess 'received sexual advances from a ferret'."
"Not funny." Castle narrowed his eyes. "I think I'm a bad influence on you."
Now Kate did laugh out loud. She couldn't help it. She felt almost giddy with teasing him, and she was busy smiling at him and thinking up a comeback when Esposito pointedly coughed.
"Not to interrupt anything, but do we have a case yet?"
Kate jerked her head toward him, chagrined. She could feel herself deflating. Right, she was at work. "Um, no. Nothing."
"It's the snow. It's hiding all the bodies"
Kate sighed. "It's weird. Nobody has anything, except Robbery with that circus case. I don't like it."
Castle perked up at the mention of the cat-burglar circus crime ring.
"Where are the cat-burglars? I saw a few trapeze artists in the elevator when I got here, but they were just wearing boring old trapeze costumes, not cat suits."
"I don't know. They're supposed to be using our interrogation room but no one's been up here yet. They must be in lock-up, or they're still bringing them in."
"Hey." Castle leaned in closer, like he was going to tell her a secret, and Kate instinctively moved towards him. Without any warning their faces were inches apart.
Castle swallowed, and his voice suddenly sounded a little forced. "Um... I mean, do you think we can go see them in lock-up?" Kate wasn't positive, but his eyes may have just darted down to the vee of her shirt. "I just want a glimpse."
Kate couldn't answer because she was concentrating on reminding her lungs to expand and contract. She was inundated with the sensation of him. His eyes, his lips, it was all she could see, and she couldn't help but think that she was an idiot for not grabbing this happiness right now, while it was here, before she ruined it or drove him away. Her heart was thumping too hard and she couldn't stop staring in his eyes, which were slowly changing from teasing to something else, something...
Castle abruptly leaned back, grabbed his coffee, and took a huge swig. He set it down on the desk and smiled at her. "But no big deal if you can't. I know we're not supposed to go into lock-up without a reason now, what with Gates and everything."
"What?" Kate felt light-headed. She was still staring, stupid with the need just to touch him, to reach out and lay her hand along the side of his throat. To press her lips to that soft spot just under the corner of his jaw.
"I said it's no big…hey, earth to Beckett." Castle gently waved his hand in front of her eyes, accidently brushing few strands of her hair. Even that almost nonexistent contact was too much, and Kate was on her feet before she realized it. Her mouth felt dry, and she knew with absolute certainty that she was not going to make it through a whole day like this.
"Kate?" Castle looked worried again.
"Sorry." Kate stepped back and tried to smile. She must look totally like a crazy person. "Um, coffee? Yeah, I'm just going to run to the break room. Do you want anything?"
"No. I'm good." Now he looked confused, no doubt thinking about the extra large coffee he'd handed her 30 minutes ago. The one that was still half full and sitting in the middle of her desk.
"Well, okay, I'm just gonna..." Kate turned down the hall just as the elevator dinged and the doors slid opened. She stopped in dead her tracks.
No. Way.
Jenkins was the first one off, and when he saw her standing there his ghost of a smile flitted across his face again.
"This case, what did I tell you." He jerked his head at the other occupants of the elevator before stepping to the side to let them start filing past him on the way to the interrogation room.
Kate could only stare.
The elevator was packed with clowns.
Packed. Wall to wall clowns. Kate wasn't sure where or how Jenkins had even fit. Several clowns had already gotten off but the number in the elevator didn't seem to be decreasing.
One after another after another they walked past, every kind of clown imaginable. Clowns with smiles and clowns with frowns, with huge red noses and rainbow colored frizzy hair. They had suspenders, fuzzy buttons, striped socks and enormous sunglasses; they were carrying horns and squirting flowers. One was on stilts.
"Do you guys see this?" Esposito appeared beside her, his voice incredulous. "Are you kidding me?"
"Are we being Punk'd?" Now Ryan was on her other side, turning this way and that, peering at the ceiling for cameras. "Is that show still on?"
Suddenly Castle was behind her, so close she could feel the heat from his body seeping through her clothes, his breath hot in her ear. A shiver chased up her spine, and she had no idea why she wasn't leaning into him right this minute.
His voice nearly squeaked he was so thrilled. "They're part of the cat-burglar circus crime ring. They have to be."
Kate mutely nodded. It was all she could manage with him so close.
"Let me guess." Castle was almost vibrating with excitement. "The clowns drove the getaway car."
9:34 am, 12th precinct, bullpen
"Beckett. Castle. Esposito. In my office. Now." Gates appeared with no warning and stood at the door to her office, waiting to shut the door behind them.
The four of them jumped. They were still standing in the hallway, having just watched the last of the clowns head into interrogation. From behind the closed door they could still hear faint and intermittent honking.
Castle glanced at Kate and Esposito, confused. He'd only been here for an hour, and he'd spent practically the whole time at Kate's desk. He hadn't had the time or opportunity to piss her off yet.
Was this about the ferret? But that was Ryan's deal. Esposito clearly thought so. He was staring at Ryan mouthing, "I'm not going down for you," as he followed Kate into Gate's office.
Kate herself looked completely clueless, even glancing over her shoulder as if to make sure he was still following her. When she caught his eye she offered him a small smile, and his breath caught in his throat.
She was going to have to stop that.
Stop with the smiles, the little touches, the hilariously cute remarks, because if she didn't he was going to lose it. He was trying so hard to do as she asked; to give her time and space, but it was becoming impossible when everything about her, from her eyes to her tone of voice, said that she didn't really want those things.
Maybe she didn't realize what she was doing. His overactive imagination and desperate longing were probably making him misinterpret everything, but she certainly seemed to have no problem getting in his space. His heart was still in minor overdrive just thinking about five minutes ago when she'd leaned in to talk to him, so close he could smell her hair. It was all he could do not to kiss her right then, and he'd had to jerk himself away to keep from actually doing it. Not even talking about ferrets and cat burglars could control his response to her. It was like the closer…
Gates' irritated voice cut through his ruminations. "Mr. Castle! Am I wasting your time? Perhaps you would be better served at home?"
Castle started as he realized he'd been daydreaming about talking to Kate about ferrets and had missed the beginning of Gates lecture #84. Kate was staring at him and slightly shaking her head, her eyes wide, while Esposito was trying not to laugh, the traitor.
"Uh, no ma… no sir," Castle stammered. "You're welcome to waste my time." Gate narrowed her eyes while Beckett closed hers in despair. "I mean, I'm good. Here. With you guys. I'm….good."
"Thank you, Mr. Castle. What a relief." Gates squinted at him as if she wasn't sure if he was making fun of her or if he was just an idiot. "If I may continue?"
Castle decided she was probably speaking rhetorically and therefore tried keep his mouth shut while looking attentive. It was hard.
"Thank you." Gates glared at Castle once more before turning to the three of them. "I have something I need to discuss with you. A memo has come from upstairs." Gates picked up the memo from her desk and waved it back and forth in front of them. "It's a reminder that all inter-agency relationships – romantic relationships - must be reported and on file."
It took about half a second for him to realize what Gates was getting at, but then Castle was so shocked he actually managed to choke on his own spit a little.
This…this was not good. The silence, the total, horrified silence, was so complete it was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. It would almost be funny if he wasn't sure that this was somehow his fault, and that Kate was going to kill him. It took everything he had not to look at her.
"So?" Gates was looking at the three of them expectantly. "Does anyone have anything he or she would like to share?"
Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Now Castle did risk a glance across the room. Kate, all motionless long limbs and wide eyes, looked very much like an actual deer caught in headlights. Esposito just looked pissed.
"What do you mean? Sir?" Now Esposito sounded pissed. Between this and the ferret he was really having a bad morning.
Gates turned towards him. "I'm not saying anything, Detective Esposito. I am just reminding everyone that in my department, my people follow regulations." She crossed her arms, her glare back. "I am not going to speak to anyone directly, but I trust you will understand what I mean. Some of you," She pointedly stared at Esposito, "are spending way too much time in the morgue…"
Esposito drew in a breath for some sort of denial or retort but Gates kept going right over him. "And some of you -" Her gaze shifted from Castle and then to Kate, her voice now with a hint of confusion. "Some of you are…well, I don't know exactly what you are doing, but if it is something that needs to be reported then you had better do so."
Castle no longer dared to look at Kate. Unfortunately, not being able to see her didn't mean he couldn't practically feel the waves of outrage rising off her, even from across the room. As he stood there, immobilized by the sheer awkwardness of it all, for the briefest of moments he almost felt a kinship with Gates and her confusion.
He didn't know what they were doing either.
9:49 am. 12th precinct, bullpen
"Dude."
"Dude." Esposito still looked pissed, but there was a hint of panic in his expression. "That was not cool."
"No," Castle agreed, surreptitiously eyeing Kate, trying to get a read on her. The three of them stood in a shell-shocked cluster outside of Gates' office where she had unceremoniously kicked them out after reminding them to follow regulations. They had not been allowed to say anything in their own defense.
And thank god for that, because Castle was pretty sure he wouldn't have made it through that fun-fest. He wasn't sorry that he got to miss hearing Kate vehemently deny that anything ever had, was, or would be going on between them. He was living on hope he was half sure was founded in fantasy where she was concerned, but he didn't need that confirmed.
"Not cool." Kate sounded waaaay too causal. "I wonder what the hell she was talking about?"
So that's how they were going to play it. Total denial. At least she was consistent, and in this case he approved a hundred percent.
Castle put his hand on Esposito's shoulder. "I think it's obvious. Esposito here has been developing an unhealthy relationship with the corpses, which is not only against the law, but is against regulations. Unless you report it. Anything you want to tell us, buddy? We won't judge. Or at least we won't tell you we're judging."
Esposito shrugged his hand off. "Ha ha, hilarious, Castle. But I wasn't the only one in there."
"What are you saying?" Now Kate didn't sound so casual. More like defensive, with a side of freaking out. Castle stared at Esposito as hard as he could in the hopes that he would read his mind and shut the hell up before he accidentally set Kate back months. Dear god, don't force her to confront anything. She'd run so fast...
"Nothing. Sorry." The mind reading must have worked because Esposito sounded totally sincere. "Gates is crazy. Look, I've got to text..." He dropped his voice and stepped away from the door. "I've got to text Lanie. Cover for me?"
Kate huffed out a breath. "Gates can't hear your texts, Esposito. I think you're safe to do that wherever."
Castle spoke without thinking. "Unless…you don't think she's monitoring our cell phones?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Kate said. She frowned, then did that adorable thing she did when she was stumped, kind of pursed her lips together and out. He loved it when she did that. It was so cute. She was so cute. Cute and smart and just generally awesome and so sexy, and he just wanted…wait, she was still talking.
"… there's no way she would do that. I don't think. Probably not." Kate looked unsure.
"But only because it's illegal," Castle muttered, still distracted by Kate's lips.
"And against regulations," Esposito added.
"Wouldn't want that." Now Kate was worrying her lip with her teeth so hard Castle was afraid she was going to break the skin. Suddenly it had morphed from sexy to painful to watch, and with a flash of insight he realized how hard this must be for her, pretending to be unbothered by Gates' passive aggressive accusations.
Kate hated to be made to feel unprofessional, and once again he was the root cause. Castle was used to feeling like he needed to make things up to her, but dammit, he didn't want to be that guy anymore. He wanted to be the one who made her life better.
But Gates…it bothered him that she hated him, but he could deal with it, or okay, he was trying to deal with it. But did she have to give Kate such a hard time? Castle knew Gates had no respect for him, and whatever, maybe he didn't deserve it, but his respect for her was dwindling every single day she didn't recognize and acknowledge what she had in Kate Beckett.
Kate was…he'd called her extraordinary so many times the word had almost ceased to have any meaning, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. She was the best, and he couldn't understand how Gates couldn't see that. Kate didn't deserve this. She deserved to work with someone who understood her, who saw how very truly special she was.
Castle felt a surge of indignation and impotent grief, and it was out of his mouth before he'd even realized he was going to say anything. "I miss Montgomery."
Esposito let out rush of air and stared at the floor, while Kate went from worried to quietly devastated in an instant. Castle felt his stomach sinking, and would have done anything to go back in time five seconds and not say it, just to take that look off her face. To not be that guy again.
"Yeah, well." Kate tried to smile but her eyes were suspiciously shiny. "That's probably against regulations, too."
