A/N: Hope you all enjoy! Thank you all for the reviews!
Chapter Two: The Morning After
'White. It's so white. Almost like a hospital room...'
At that discomforting thought, Edward awakened fully, searching around to make sure that he was in his apartment and not in said dreaded building. He hated doctors and anything that had to do with them with a passion. Needles were definitely not for him, much to his brother's chagrin whenever he got sick or hurt.
Once he got the proof that he was safe at home in his bed, he stretched out his body languidly like a cat. Then he returned his gaze to the ceiling that had greeted him when he'd awoken. Having not decided if he really wanted to get up just yet, Edward stayed lying down in his comfortable and warm state, and his mind drifted lazily through the events of the previous day.
Random flashes passed before his golden eyes and he grinned, remembering that his brother, Alphonse, had been forced to do the housework while he read the latest volume of an alchemy series that detailed the basic similarities and contraries of the different types, elements, and kinds from different countries. But the humour of seeing his flustered baby brother in a pink, frilly apron didn't last long, because he'd remembered that said male had then made him help cook dinner in punishment. Chores were... not his thing.
Continuing through his memories of the day, Ed found himself reminiscing his time at the bar two streets away. It had become a regular routine for him, a place he now visited so often that he could feel Al's suspicion growing. He could no longer use the same old excuses that he was going out for a walk to places to calm his mind before he went to sleep.
'I'm sorry, Al, but I just... don't know how to explain... not yet at least.'
Then suddenly an important part of last night's events entered his mind and Ed gasped. How had he forgotten?
Mustang.
He had been there.
He had seen him.
Mustang had been there and had seen him.
Edward's face started to heat up and he glanced over to his brother's neatly made up bed to make sure he wasn't there and hadn't heard his earlier outburst. Holding his breath, he scanned the entire room in silence. After seeing no sign of Al, he exhaled loudly, groaning out his frustrations.
"... are you alright?"
"I saw what happened, don't worry I won't hurt you..."
'Why had he been so concerned..?' But then he remembered that during the moment that the cold Brigadier-General had showed concern he had been dressed as a female, and he snorted. Of course, he wasn't worried over him; he'd thought he'd been a damsel in distress that he could heroically save from danger and then woo into his bed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you... But I've been trying to talk to you..."
He shut his eyes tightly, willing away the invasion of the unwanted voice and the rage of emotions and thoughts it brought with it. 'He had been so confused... I can't blame the bastard but...' Ed bit his lip hard, getting increasingly annoyed at himself. 'Why the fuck do I feel guilty that I'm hiding this from him?'
Having been preoccupied with thoughts of Roy Mustang – that was definitely not the right way to put it, it implied way too much – the alchemist nearly fell out of his bed in shock when an unexpected voice called loudly to him.
"It's time to wake up!"
He sat up abruptly, clutching the fabric of the black tank top he wore over his chest where he felt his heart pounding. Trying to catch his breath after he had been scared half to death, Edward listened for the voice again.
"Brother?"
It was Al. Only Al.
The eighteen-year-old yelled back – rather breathlessly – that he was coming and then swung his legs over the side of the mattress. Getting to his feet, he stretched once again, loosening the muscles in his flesh limbs and checking to make sure that his auto-mail ones were working. He'd have to get everything checked out by Winry soon, because he was overdue for maintenance, but he was understandably waiting until the last minute to do that. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her or Granny Pinako, but the woman would probably keep him in Risembool for as long as she possibly could in order to inspect and modify his automail. Plus, she'd probably already be angry over the fact that it was taking him so long to come back for his "check ups".
Satisfied that everything seemed to be in perfect working order, he headed towards the door and then promptly tripped over an article of clothing.
Cursing under his breath, Ed looked down at it and was alarmed at what he saw.
It was a skirt, the very same one that he had worn the night before while he was out acting like a very sensuous female. Quickly, he kicked it under his bed where other women clothing lay in an old suitcase out of plain sight. The familiar sense of embarrassment over what he had hidden there and what he'd been doing lately filled him for a moment. 'How could I be so careless? I hope Al didn't see it...'
But when he journeyed out into the kitchen where his brother was cooking breakfast, Ed could feel the tension. Al looked over at him and said "Good morning," but the elder knew that something was different, the feel of being watched following him as he sat down at their small table. His brother's tone had been, as always, friendly, but the underlying tone was one of enquiry, and Ed wasn't stupid. He knew that Al was worried about him, and wanted to know about what was going on, but...
'What do I do? If he asks me straight out I'll have to tell him, but I can't stand it if he just keeps looking at me like that... I don't even know how to explain it all, and I really don't want to end up sounding like a fucking girl... But either way I'll have to tell him eventually...'
Ed sighed in frustration and rubbed at his face, scrubbing at the dirt that was in his eyes from his slumber. 'My secret plan isn't so secret anymore... First the bastard Brigadier-General–"
'Oh fuck...' He almost groaned out loud because of the horrible thought, having just realized that Alphonse wasn't the only one who would be expecting to know what was going on with him. 'I'm going to have to tell him, too, since I don't think he'll just forget about it.'
The mouthwatering smell of freshly made fried eggs and toast alerted Ed of the fact that he still had his brother to deal with. He smiled lightly when Al placed a plate full of food in front of him and then sat down across the table. The smile was returned, a sweet sight that made his heart constrict in his chest.
It had taken him years, years of being a military dog in order to get money to supply his research into the Philosopher's Stone. It had taken him so long, but a year ago he'd finally been able to unlock the secrets that he'd needed in order to travel back to the Gate and get his brother's body back. He'd glossed over the details with most of the people who asked, and that hadn't seemed to be a problem; people like Winry and Granny Pinako had just been happy that Alphonse was back in his body, and didn't care how it had happened as long as no more bad consequences would occur. Edward had reassured them without a doubt that this was the final time they would ever mess with the Gate or Human Transmutation, even if his automail arm and leg remained – which was always a sore topic to bring up when Alphonse was around. They wouldn't risk going back there, never again.
The point was that finally he was able to see his little sibling's beautiful smile, see his face, feel his touch and his warmth. It made everything they'd gone through worthwhile to Ed, because everything he'd done in the past had always been for Al, and now that he'd been able to get his body back, things felt right again.
Except – and this little fact made him furious at himself – his heart was still longing for something more, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what and why.
"This should help your mood, brother."
Glancing up, Ed was brought back to the present and met Alphonse's grey gaze. He paused before he began to eat, doing so more because he wanted to avoid the scrutiny than because he was really hungry. He knew all too well that the younger Elric did not mean that the eggs and toast would make him feel better.
He meant that talking to him would.
The Fullmetal Alchemist nodded and then opened his mouth, hesitant but determined.
"There's something I need to tell you, Al. It's... kind of a long story..." He willed his gaze to stay locked with the other's, knowing that his brother deserved that much respect, and more. "I... I don't know how to explain it all, y'know... I don't even really understand why I'm..." He breathed out of his nose angrily. "I can't talk about it right now, okay? When I get things sorted out I'll – I'll tell you, you know that, right? I'd never purposefully hide anything from you."
"I know that, brother," the words were said with so much faith and conviction that he broke into a smile unconsciously. "Just... you know that I'll always be here no matter what, right? Even if you did something incredibly stupid, we've been there before, and I'd never judge you."
Ed swallowed audibly, and chose to respond to the easier part of what had been said. "Hey, I don't do stupid things... not often... anymore." He was rewarded with a bright grin, and that smile was enough to make the slight tension in the air disperse immediately. He was really lucky to have someone like Alphonse as a brother.
"You'd better get going."
After having a long conversation with his brother during breakfast and after he'd changed out of his night wear, Ed stood by their house's door. Alphonse had dutifully reminded him of the fact that he had to give in his mission report from two days ago that day. He had groaned, dreading the meeting because it would mean that he would have to talk to the one person he really didn't want to see at the moment.
Al must have noticed this because he sighed from his place beside his older brother. "You'll have to face him some time, sooner or later."
He looked up in surprise. Was it that obvious that he didn't want to see Mustang? Of course, he never wanted to see the man, but was it so clearly written on his face that he'd rather be in an incredibly painful situation than go see him?
"I can tell that the Brigadier-General seems to know more about this than I do." Where there may have been a slightly hurt tone had anyone else been in his place, when Al spoke there was nothing but sweet concern. "And if he can somehow help you then that's good. He actually cares about us, you know."
"Yeah, I know, I know. I just wish I could see him later rather than sooner." It was Edward's turn to sigh. "But if he says anything out of line, I'm not promising that he'll go home tonight without some part of him broken."
Al laughed, and soon Ed couldn't help but grin, though he wasn't joking.
'Seriously, what am I going to do?' He thought nervously, trying to smile for his brother's benefit. But, of course, he saw through it.
"Don't worry, it'll be fine," Alphonse put his hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "Good luck, brother."
Ed nodded. "Thanks, Al. For this, and for being here even when I haven't told you everything."
"It's what I'm here for, though I really wish you would tell me what's going on. Not much I can help with if I don't know anything."
He just shook his head guiltily, thinking to himself that his brother was always a good help by just being there, staying with him even when he was quite a handful sometimes, and walked out the door. He waved over his shoulder to him and then departed in the direction of the Central Military Headquarters.
'Should I just tell him everything?' He shook his head vigorously, immediately deciding against it. 'I haven't even told Al yet, why would I tell the bastard anything?' He'd probably just make fun of him, not even wanting to know the reasons behind his actions. 'I don't even understand this all myself!' He felt irritatingly helpless, but then he remembered something his brother had said before he'd had to get ready to leave.
"Brother," Al took his hand gently, benevolent in his actions, the warmth of his flesh pressed to Ed's making it a comforting gesture. "I don't know what to say... but you need to figure this all out. I know that I can't be that much help, but remember; I'm always here by your side no matter what. I'll always be here, waiting for the time when you think you're ready to tell me what's going on."
'You're so stupid, Alphonse...' Ed thought, smiling gently to himself, an expression so soft that only his brother could coax from him.'Your support is more help than I could ever ask for.'
He drew in a deep breath, faintly wondering how he had arrived in front of the office so soon. 'Just be normal...' He directed himself, steeling himself for whatever reaction was to come. 'Hopefully he won't say anything about it. Maybe he'll forget... he is old after all... I doubt it though.'
Gathering up his courage, Ed did what he usually did and charged into the room, a fearsome look on his face. Ignoring Havoc's mumbled "Uh oh... the boss is pissed...' and the glances from Hawkeye and Fuery, he marched up to the door at the back and kicked it open. Entering unannounced, Edward kicked the door closed behind him and then stood by it, staying a comfortable distance away as he glared ahead at the man who sat behind his desk. Pleased by the brief show of a startled expression on Roy Mustang's face, he almost grinned. Almost. But then the Colonel covered his surprise with his usual confident mask and smirk.
It irritated Ed to a great extent.
Mustang leaned his chin on his fist. "Haven't you ever heard of 'knocking before entering', Fullmetal? It's something I think you should look into, since it's something very valuable to learn; it's much more reserved and polite."
He snorted. "I've never been one for 'reserved and polite', Mustang."
"I'm very well aware of that."
Ed swallowed, suddenly uncertain of what to do again. The look in Mustang's eyes was one that made him sure that he was speaking of past occurrences. A very recent past occurrence. He was no longer simply talking about him kicking open the door and barging inside unannounced, he was referring to what he had witnessed; Ed engaged in rather heated and intimate activities while half-shrouded in the darkness of an alleyway. His tone had a challenging edge to it, as if he was waiting for him to admit what had happened, or blow up at him for being there to see it.
But Ed wasn't going to back down, he was never one to retreat with his tail between his legs and this situation was no different. So he stood there, watching the Flame Alchemist with gold orbs, awaiting the taunts that he was sure would come. What else would the man possibly say to him?
What he didn't expect was, however, what really happened.
"Aren't you going to give me your report? Or are you just going to stand there? Because if you are, I'll gladly inform Lieutenant Hawkeye that it's your fault that my work isn't done yet."
Dumbstruck, Ed stared for a few moments as Mustang held out his hand for the paperwork and spoke with a monotonous voice. He had to catch himself before his mouth fell slack and quickly strode forward to shove a rumpled sheet of paper at his commanding officer.
"Y-Yeah, so... in Arium, there wasn't that much resistance in my researching of their experiments..."
'What is going on?' Edward though while he retold his previous mission, an easy assignment in a small town not too far from Rush Valley that hadn't been a problem to handle. 'I was so sure that he... he couldn't have forgotten!' The boy's voice faltered slightly as he spoke at his next thought.
'Am I really so insignificant to him? Am I just a subordinate, so unimportant in the long run that he'd forget about something like that? Or just dismiss it as something that doesn't concern him, and that's that?' Maybe Alphonse had been a little too presumptuous. He didn't believe that Mustang really cared that much about him at all.
But he swiftly continued on speaking in his usual rough tone, shaking off the unwelcome bitterness and replacing it with relief, grateful that he wouldn't have to talk to Roy about it since the man wouldn't mention it to him. He should be glad that the man had forgotten about it, why in the world would he want him to remember if all it would lead to would be a rather awkward and infuriating conversation in which he'd be taunted about the event that he'd witnessed?
The morning after that fateful night certainly held mixed emotions for Edward.
But he would contemplate those feelings later.
