A Beautiful Disaster
Part I
"What?!" Hanna responded, looking up at Emily all frazzled. "Mona? Why would you even ask that?!"
Emily and Hanna both got up from the booth and walked toward the door. "Well," Emily sighed. "Mona always had that yearning look in her eyes when it came to you, and you did almost kiss on the train in October."
"Yeah, unbeknownst to me, Emily!" Hanna said with the typical cute Hanna face that Emily knew and adored. Emily loved it when Hanna used fancy words, she tried to hide her own amused smirk but there was no doubting that Hanna could see. "You ask me, that was always more her wanting me, then me having any feelings for her."
"But, love and hate is a fine line to walk. You always seem to be walking the tight rope with Mona," Emily demonstrated, making a line with her hand. It was too easy to aggravate Hanna. If Emily Fields had a resume "Aggravating Hanna" would be at the top of her long list of uniquely fine-tuned skills. "Paige and I started out that way," Emily said. It was worth it to mention. Mona and Hanna always seemed like more than friends. If Hanna was ever going to try gay Emily always assumed she would've tried it with Mona. Hanna liked pretty things and girly girls and Emily never felt SUPER girly, not really. This was all pretty baffling.
"Fair enough," Hanna said. "Maybe that was you guys, but Mona and I have never. PERIOD. Can we just change the subject?!" Hanna was acting annoyed. She didn't like the way this conversation had gone. What was up with Emily?! Why would Emily even be thinking about Mona at a time like this?! Hanna wished she knew but she couldn't ask. Emily was too good at asking questions and throwing her off. It was better if they both stayed quiet.
They started down the end of Serenity Lane towards Emily's house. "I don't get it," Hanna said in frustration after a long bout of silence. She stopped before she spoke and Emily haulted just to hear. "Why aren't we kissing right now?!" It seemed absurd to have been talking about Mona or talking about anything when Hanna had just spilt her guts and told the biggest secret she had EVER kept locked away.
Mona?! MONA?! It was all Hanna could think from the diner to the halfway point between Emily's house and the end of the street. Why weren't they kissing and why the hell would Emily ask that stupid question about her and Mona?! She wanted to throw things!
"You're right," Emily said, looking over at her again and feeling good for having thrown her for such a loop. Emily's hands were tucked away in her little sweater pockets and she was walking like she always did, which kind of bothered Hanna.
Before the diner, they had kissed. Emily seemed happy. So why weren't they holding hands or linking arms? Why was Emily all the way over there where she usually stood, just far enough to pester Hanna and make her think it would all be just the same as it always was?
"Come 'ere," Hanna said, having no more of it. She pulled Emily in by the crook of her elbow and she felt as Emily's lips smiled beneath her own once they crashed. Emily's smile, Hanna hummed. There was something magical about that smile. She'd seen it so many times, she'd loved that smile, always loved it. And now she was tasting it. That smile was for her.
Poor Caleb, Hanna thought sadly right after they broke away. She used to think she knew what love was. She used to think she was in love. But this, this with Emily, this was love. This kiss and that smile. She had been way too blind for way too long. She leaned in again, kissing Emily harder, wanting her more and taking her as much as she possibly could.
"Mmm," Emily hummed, looking up at Hanna's beautiful blue eyes and wishing she could swim in them. The feeling would be intense. It was silly but it was all that she could think. Hanna's eyes were always so deep and she never let herself look at them, not this long, not like this. She leaned in and brushed the loose hair from Hanna's face, drawing her in close and kissing her softly. "I love your eyes," she said, closing her own and smiling, lips parting as she sent her tongue gently into Hanna's mouth so that she could taste her once again.
They couldn't decide, neither of them. What was better? Fast or slow? Hard or soft? They didn't know so they kept fighting back and forth, tasting one another and breathing with stuttered breaths and gasps, their hands moving from hip to face to neck to back. In the middle of the street, for once in their several years together, they finally both felt fucking safe and it was because they had each other, they were stable there fighting to feel more.
Part II
While Hanna and Emily were blissfully enjoying themselves, a little too close to home, an anxious Alison was tossing and turning inside her bed. She still felt like she was on the run and couldn't settle. She tossed this way and that, closed her eyes and tried to stop her thoughts from racing. There would be no sleeping right now, she had to do something.
One thing that always seemed to calm Ali was the stars. No matter where she was the stars were always almost the same. She loved glancing at them from wherever she was, it made her feel like Fievel from An American Tale and instantly the song Some Where Out There played in her mind. She needed her real family, her home. She needed Emily and wondered where she could possibly be.
Alison crossed the room to her window and glanced up at the sky to find Orion the Hunter. That was Orian but it was also Alison. The fierce hunter, protecting herself and searching for prey. While looking up her focus got somehow turned. She caught something moving out of the corner of her eye and glanced down to check it out. What?! It couldn't be, she thought, her mind filling to the brim with rage.
Somewhere out there, at the end of the drive, Alison could clearly see her Emily. Her Emily was there but she wasn't being sweet like she usually was. Her Emily was always alone. But this Emily had a friend, a good friend, a tongue-kissing, body-groping, please-fuck-me-eyed friend.
It didn't take Alison more than two heartbeats. She knew that girl who was touching her Emily and pressing her body against her Emily's precious chest. That was Hanna FUCKING Marin, Ali thought. It was Hanna's stupid face and Hanna's stupid hair, and Hanna's stupid earrings and Hanna's stupid body, Ali thought as anger overwhelmed her. Hannah Marin was touching her Emily. Hanna Marin was kissing her Emily!
Fire flared in Ali's stomach ... The jealousy was so fucking intense. What to do, what to do? Alison cooley thought. There could be two ways to go about this and Ali knew that well. She could either be the old Alison or the new one. And she had to think before trying anything at all. In the meantime she just watched feeling hot in so many ways. She stared down and watched as they pawed at each other almost drinking each other up. Ali wished it had been her down there in Emily's mouth and Emily's arms.
Part III
Emily and Hanna were so exhausted. They hadn't slept. They both had fought. And now they were dreamily having cravings, wanting to touch each other in all the unspoken ways.
They settled down on Emily's bed and felt as the electrical sparks still coursed vibrantly through their limbs. Like so many nights before, Hanna nuzzled into Emily's' arm and tried to doze off. But that wasn't happening tonight.
"Em, you still awake," Hanna asked, she wanted to keep touching her. She wanted it never to end.
"Yeah," Emily sighed. She was starting to get scared about things, she'd forgotten all about Paige and Ali and how complicated her life already was. But then Hanna did a thing and her mind disappeared again.
Hanna was hungry for her, simply starving. She pushed down on the blankets because she was so fucking hot. Then, accidentally, her soft hand grazed Emily's thigh and Emily moaned.
They hadn't meant to touch. They hadn't meant to be this hungry.
Emily rolled over to face Hanna, it was insane now, these feelings were insane. She saw her there staring and obviously in pain. Hanna wanted her just as bad. They couldn't sleep. They had to touch.
Emily lowered her head gently down and kissed the tender skin over Hanna's collarbone. It was like a back and forth intimate tag you're it. Emily was wearing a v-neck without a bra and Hanna could see how when she had kissed her, Emily's nipples became erect.
"Take it off," Hanna said. She didn't care anymore about how sudden any of it was. Emily had kissed and her nipples got hard.
Emily sat up and pulled her shirt off to reveal her naked breasts to a curious but pleased Hanna Marin. "Damnit," Hanna sighed almost angry. They were more fucking beautiful than she was always certain they would be. She reached up and Pulled Emily down ontop of her, wanting her skin on her skin and her mouth on her mouth. This was new territory for Hanna, she was wanting so much but not sure where to go.
"Go slow," Emily calmed, taking Hanna's wrists in her hands and pushing Hanna's hands up onto her own naked sides, holding them there on her just to show that to feel could be slow and to feel could be soft. Hanna had been heated and frantic, she obviously wanted to be touching Emily everywhere all at once. It wasn't possible what she wanted, so Emily calmed her and showed her the way. She dipped her head breathily and kissed Hanna slow, stealing her breath and making her whimper.
They were embarking on an adventure that would keep them coming back for more.
