CH.2 MOVING ON

INT. EVERWOOD - DAY

I was young but for my age I was older than most kids, I knew certain truths that most 8 year olds didn't know. my father always told me that the clock ticked on and life never stopped and that I should be alert and always be in

tune to how slowly or how fast time could move, I could recall times when my father had put me in the corner, most of the time actually. I wasn't allowed to wear normal clothes, he'd take knives and things from a large red metal tool box in the basement and he cut holes out of rags and I had to wear them as if it was normal clothing and all of the while I'd listen to the clock and I would have a certain truth within me to know, it would never be over. dad taught me that. I was so afraid..I laid in bed shaking, I'd never slept on a real bed before and it was hard adjusting, they were trying to get me to take these rags off, to put on certain clothes they'd bought at the store, I could hear my fathers' voice in the back of mind.."Amy don't buy it", end the end they'll only hurt you. There not like us..nobody could truly love you..why do you think your mother killed herself.

she jumped off of the top of the mountain to be away from you..I heard his words go over and over again as tears slid down my cheaks and I wished for one single second that I'd never been born.

I could hear the people who took on the opertunity of taking care of me, they were downstairs arguing. Arguing about me.

Maybe dad was right. maybe I only existed to make life worse for everyone around me, everything he said made some sort of sense and if it didn't, why would he lie to me, he was my father.

I kept my eyes open most of the night, every time I closed them I could see and hear things in the past, and the knowledge sunk deeper and deeper inside of me that Iwasn't free.

it may be a new house, new people..Even a new atmosphere..but they were just things..Possessions. Possessions dad could take away if he saw fit.

the stiff rags hung loosely on me as I slid off of the bed and crawled into the corner of the room, no blanket, no pillow.

just the hard and cold floor to make me afraid, even when dad was nowhere to be around, but I wasn't so sure he was gone.

I could feel him and sense that he was never too

far away and that this faurse with me living with strangers was another one of his games..A test. not just for them but for me.

the room was filled with toys that they'd bought to cheer me up but I hadn't even touched them, I knew it hurt there feelings but I couldn't think about them. I was afraid to touch them, I'd never had a toy before, only a small rag that father said suited me, the same one that binded me to the stairwell when he told me I was bad, the same one that had blood on it from a beating in the past, it had been my only friend, he'd handed it to me before he'd left, I knew that rules were rules. if I broke them, he'd destroy what was left of me. I was no fool, he'd destroy me so I had to be good. and I couldn't break even one rule, even though he appeared to be gone.

I was quickly awakened to that woman that I supposed they expected me now to call mother. she stared in the room with shock, she saw me in those rags sitting against the wall holding onto the rag I hadn't put down since I'd arrived, I'd seen that look before. Father says that it means the world keeps turning and everything is in it's place..he seemed to like the look of surprise and fear..he used to tell me even the strongest of souls would fall to their knees if you knew how to reach their moment of weakness.

I thought all fathers were like dad. I was even weary of Dr.Abbott, I wasn't ready to call him anything but that. I was afraid of him. I figured all men were not to be trusted.

woman were fine. mom never did anything. she was a sweet and kind soul. She even let me do things father wouldn't approve of if he wasn't around..but Father always found out, it was almost as if he had eyes in the walls in our estate back home..he saw everything and if he didn't feel like striking out at me and or mother..he'd hurt something we loved..I don't know if I could hate him, he was my father,after all. but I figured the way he treated me, it had to be my fault..he said mother was weak and she broke the rules..I could hear him now", What happens to be people that break the rules",Amy? in Society there's a way of punishing those who choose the wrong path..If I don't punish her..Who will? he'd say..I'd sit in the corner and cry at nights when he'd beat mom..I just wanted him to disapear and even though he

seemed gone at this moment, he was never gone. he'd taught me that on my first day of kindergarten..when I'd thought I could act out and be free when I was alone, he said he owned the teachers and all of the staff and that if they didn't obey..they'd be punished as well..Father had a way of dealing with those who did bad things..but who made up these laws", I wandered? God? the government. I was little and I didn't know much about the laws of civilization..the government and stuff..but I had never guessed that father made up these laws himself to keep the people around him in line.

She tried to pull me up, her medium length bernette hair swaying lightly with a smile on her face, I could tell that it was a dream come true her having me here in her house but I pulled away quickly. I didn't say anything, just brushed myself away from her touch, I didn't like to be touched and she found that odd but she didn't question me, she thought because I was 8 I couldn't tell her much, I wouldn't anyway.

that happened to be one of the rules. but like I'd said before, I wasn't your typical eight year old, I knew a lot more than kids my age did. Father saw that I didn't slip through the cracks and fail like some children did. I'd always thought that was a good thing.

"I need to change you out of those rags Dear"..Rose called to me as I sat there shaking clinging tightly to the only piece of clothing I was comfortable wearing, I'd never worn anything else, never been allowed to and if I didn't have this I didn't know where I stood. she saw the fear in my eyes and backed away, she didn't understand that I was Okay with the rags I was wearing..she didn't like it. she stomped out in a frenzy. I fell back down to the floor shaking with fear sensing that the powerful and strong structure of their life would turn to mush now that I was here, she was mad, I could tell. Mother would stomp like that when she was mad at Daddy..I didn't know what to expect. she was upset because I wouldn't wear those clothes. I couldn't. if he watched he'd punish me..like he said.."Nothing goes unpunished", not even the smallest dishonest thing and I believed. I wandered..Was mother really dead?

I heard arguing downstairs and I heard my fathers' voice loud and clear, he was laughing. "So Amy won't change out of those clothes", her mother was a difficult woman..and she's becoming more like her

everyday..perhaps I could have a word..I'll show myself upstairs..I overheard as I began to breath heavily as I slid back to the wall holding onto the small rag with the dried blood I was accustomed to having..

"What's wrong my Dear", Have you forgotten that the rules change from day to day..I'm going to do something you wouldn't expect. I'm going to allow real clothes..but whenever a wish is granted and a rule gets removed, more is added.

I'll make a list and give it to uncle Ethan..I"m sure he'll deliver..Ethan is always prompt and on schedule..Amy you will not make me look bad in front of anybody and if you sit here and break all of my rules, everything I say..You'll end up like your mother..Now I am sure you do not want that..he lunged towards me lifting me up in the air and shaking me as I cried, but not loud enough for them to hear downstairs, if they did, it would only get worse. I knew too much from some of the things he did to mother to scream.

he forced the rags off, forcing them off in a manner that hurt, that's why he had to dress and undress, it was part of a punishment..once he had me in a gray hooded sweater and matching gray pants with socks he sat me on the bed sliding a piece of paper out of his pocket grabbing my hand roughly as it stung but I still didn't scream.."This is a letter from your mother", I think she'd come back from the dead and have my head if you didn't get this letter..not that she can do much about it now", I'm not a dishonest man, Amy you know that. I told your mother I'd get it to you..and guess what.."I did"..he ordered shoving backwards onto the bed as he rushed out slamming the door behind him as I sat up, every part of my body hurting from his touch, I didn't want to read the letter, I shoved it in a drawer and vowed never to see it again, I figured it was probably lies he wrote down..besides, I was only eight. my reading wasn't great..He knew that. It was another test. Father liked tests. I knew it was nother test for me as well as them..it was his specialty, tormenting the people around him. I knew he'd be back, I wasn't free. I would never be free.

But I looked at it as a good thing that I could wear normal clothes and sleep in a normal bed now, Maybe if he stayed away a long while things would go smoothly and I could move

on, I could be like a typical kid and not have to worry..I could have fun. but fun had never been allowed before, these people seemed nice, but I was still afraid of Dr. Abbott.

men were not to be trusted I told myself as I closed my eyes letting the tears run down my face as I wandered if when I opened them the my world would be a kind and safer place.