Year Two

Summer passes in a haze of magic and tension. Petunia and Lily have settled into a sort of armistice at their mother's insistence. The few words that pass between them usually consist of a cold "pass the butter, please," and not much else. Lily wonders if Petunia misses her as much as she misses Petunia. Last summer they were still pushing each other on swings and collapsing in giggles. This summer it feels like they don't even know each other anymore.

All Lily wants to do is to laugh and giggle with Petunia by the water again. She wants to ask Petunia how she's been, and she really does want to know how she's been. What she's been up to, if Fiona is still as much of a bully as she was before, if there are any new cute boys in school. She almost tries, once, at night when they're getting ready for bed, but before she can work up the bravery Petunia shuts the light off with a huff.

Out on the grassy hills, Severus kicks his lanky legs out so they're almost touching hers, but not quite. "I don't understand why you have to hang out with those berks," he complains.

Lily rolls her eyes. This has been a much-visited topic the entire summer. Although her budding friendships with Sirius and Remus have been a daily subject of conversation, his new friendships with Avery and Mulciber remain a closed topic. Severus had been tight-lipped about the inner workings of Slytherin politics. "If you knew them, you might like them, Sev," she suggests. She then thinks about it, and amends her statement. "You might like Remus, anyway. He's nice."

Severus rolls his eyes. "I don't value kindness," he says dismissively.

"I know," she says, a little bit sadly, but he doesn't seem to notice.

They spend the holiday poring through illicit books Severus had purloined from a locked drawer in his father's study, and although the magic is advanced beyond their years, they struggle through the text as best as they can. They aren't allowed to do magic yet, but they practice the wand movements and the pronunciations separately, and eagerly await until they can put the two together.


They arrive at Hogwarts, and honestly, Lily doesn't feel different at all from last year. She's two inches taller and her face has thinned out a little, but she feels that same naive awe all over again. She watches the first years troop in, full of awe and wonder, and she feels like she could be one of them. In fact, she looks more like the first-years, tipping her head back to gaze at the Great Hall's ceiling again, and Sirius says so, bumping her shoulder as they make their ways to the tables. "How was your summer?" Lily asks.

Sirius's eyes darken a little. "Fine," he says. He pauses for a moment, and then adds, "My brother's a first-year."

Lily can guess where his thoughts are going. "What house do you think he'll be in?"

"Slytherin," he says shortly, and that's the end of their conversation as he turns to draw James into a discussion of which Quidditch position they're going to try for this year. James proudly declares his intent on being Seeker, of course. Sirius wants to be a Beater. Lily tilts her head, considering him. She thought he had said last year that he was going to try for Chaser.

The new first-years are not of much interest to Lily, though she does notice the boys scoping out the fresh meat. Lily grimaces and catches up to Marlene to avoid hearing the rest of their conversation. Marlene ruminates about the weather, Quidditch, and her last interaction with Sirius, and Lily only has to add a few noncommittal "hm"s to keep the conversation going. It's comforting.

They settle into their beds, and Lily takes a deep breath. A new year. She wonders what this one will bring.


Marlene and Mary force her to go to Quidditch tryouts with them. Athletes, Mary had said, a bit dreamily. Sirius and James are predictably showing off, which only gets more obnoxious when they notice the girls. James pretends not to have seen them and begins taking lazy loops around the stadium, occasionally performing a flip or a dive to the girls' appreciative gasps. Lily privately thinks that they spend too much time showing off and not enough time focusing, because they both are relegated to the reserve team. Still, though, their faces are bright with triumph as they join their adoring fans.

Sirius slings one arm across her and the other across Marlene. "Wear my jersey at the next game, Lily?" he offers. "You can be my good luck charm."

"That's if you get any playing time," she says amusedly. "Do I want to wear the jersey of a benchwarmer?"

The girls laugh and Sirius grins good-naturedly. "Your tongue cuts like a knife, Lily," he says. "If you're going to be that way, I guess Marlene can wear my jersey."

Marlene shoves his arm off of her immediately, smirking. "Not even in your wildest dreams."

"Fine!" Sirius says. "JAMES. You won't desert me, your brother, your best friend, your other half, in a time like this, will you?"

"I'll wear it, Sirius," says a third-year girl in Slytherin robes who appears suddenly from behind them. Lily vaguely recognizes her as one of the Parkinson girls. She simpers as she lays her hand on his chest, curling her fingers slightly at the collar of his shirt. Sirius immediately turns all his attention to her, his eyes on maximum smolder level.

Marlene and Mary are rolling her eyes, but Lily doesn't think it's funny at all. Her stomach twists a little as she sees the girl lean closer until they're just breaths away.

No. Way. Was she jealous?

There was no way in hell she was feeling jealous over Sirius Black. Sirius, who can barely string a sentence together without a sexual innuendo, who purposely chops their flobberworms into different widths in Potions to get a rise out of her. Sirius, who, despite not doing so in her presence, she knows takes every opportunity to throw hexes and curses at Severus.

James's voice, low and quiet, startles her. "Alright, Evans?"

She barely controls her jump of surprise. In her state of confusion, she forgets to dislike James. "Yeah, no, sorry, I'm fine," she murmurs. "Just had a weird thought."

She meets his eyes, and he looks at her steadily. She is the one that looks away first.


Now that she knows that she might maybe possess a tiny amount of feelings for Sirius, life gets weird.

A lot of things stay the same. Peter is...Peter. Kind, timid, and in the background, as always. Remus has been ill for the past few days and out of the picture. Lily makes a note to herself to write him a get-well card soon. Severus—well, Lily would never even dream of telling him about her revelation—has become furtive as of late, whispering in halls and boarding himself up in his room. She doesn't ask what he's up to, and he doesn't tell her. It's strange that she can now go days without speaking to him and it feels normal.

Sirius is the same as always, teasing and smiling, and he doesn't seem to notice that she's not reciprocating anymore.

And James. She looks up often now, in the common room, or the Great Hall, or the library, to see his eyes almost studying her, in a way. Like she's a puzzle that he can't quite figure out. It makes her nervous. Still, though, when his eyes flick away, she does feel a pang of disappointment.

She's been spending too much time with the boys, she decides. It's making her go crazy. For a few weeks she holes up in her room, doing homework or looking at magazines with the girls, and only leaving for meals and classes. Still, sometimes she'll walk through a hall and see Sirius talking to one or two or even three girls, giving them that same smirk that he gives her, and her stomach will twist a little.

She goes on with this for a little bit until finally Marlene gets tired of it. "We're going to the Quidditch game today," she announces one Sunday morning.

Lily looks up in alarm. "What? No! I've got a two foot parchment I've got to write for Potions; I really can't today. You three go on ahead. I'll try to catch up with you if I can."

"Lily, you've skipped the last game, too," Mary wheedles. "Besides, one of the Beaters is in the hospital wing with the flu, so Sirius might actually get some play time today."

"Two feet," Lily reminds them. "I haven't even started yet."

"Lily," Alice says quietly. "We miss you. Come out with us."

Her stomach twists. She realizes now that in her effort to avoid Sirius, she had sacrificed her other friendships. "Okay," she allows. "Fine. Let me go put on a jumper; it's freezing out there."

When they walk out to the stands, it's snowing. Bad weather for Quidditch, though Sirius looks positively elated. She thinks he turns to look at her, and their eyes might meet, but she looks away before he can acknowledge her. "Let's go find some seats," she says briskly to the others.

Alice raises an eyebrow at her sudden eagerness, but shrugs anyways. "Sure—I think I see Remus and Peter over there."

Lily ends up sitting on the edge, next to Peter. "Hello, Peter," she says pleasantly.

"Hi Lily," he says a little bit nervously. He's always been a little twitchy around her, around girls in general, and so she sighs and resigns herself to a game filled with little conversation. Still, though, she does love Quidditch. She was never a good player herself, but the game was exciting all the same.

And the boys, of course. There's something to be said about a boy in a well-fitting Quidditch uniform. She tries to avoid noticing how well Sirius's jersey emphasizes the lean tallness of his body and fails spectacularly.

The game starts off slow, with both Keepers blocking a few shots each. Sirius is in the middle of the action, zooming from one end to the other with a huge grin on his face. Lily has to admit that he is a very good Quidditch player. The Bludger seems to go exactly where he wants it, no matter the angle or speed he hits it.

Gryffindor scores a few goals, interspersed with some of the same from Ravenclaw. Lily peeks at the bench and sees James sitting there glumly. Even from fifty feet away she can see the pout in his features, and fights off a smile.

The Gryffindor Seeker, a boy by the name of Marcus Wilson, circles the pitch from up above. He is closely followed by the Ravenclaw Seeker as well. "So that's how they're going to play it," Lily comments offhandedly.

"Hm?" Peter says, his eyes on Sirius still.

Lily looks over at Remus, and he gives her a small smile. "Looks like the Ravenclaw Seeker doesn't want to find the Snitch on her own," he says, clearly taking pity on her lack of conversational opportunities. "Hope Wilson flies fast."

He does, in the end, fly very fast indeed, catching the Snitch with the Ravenclaw Seeker right on his tail. The team lands; Sirius looks jubilant.

"Let's go down," Marlene shouts breathlessly. "Congratulate them."

"Wait—" Lily says, but Remus takes ahold of her and quickly drags her down with the rest of them. On the field, the six of them collect around Sirius and James.

"How was it?" James asks enviously.

Sirius shakes his head, laughing. "Incredible, mate," he says, his eyes shining. "Just...wow."

James frowns. "Too bad Wilson caught the Snitch," he says, and then catches himself. "I mean, it's good that he caught the Snitch. But that probably means I'm not getting any playtime next match." Lily can clearly hear the whine in his tone, and hides a smile.

"Next year," Sirius promises, and they troop in with the rest of the Gryffindors to celebrate their win.


"Did you hear?"

Lily blearily raises her head from the Charms textbook. "What?"

Mary looks at her impatiently. "James has a girlfriend," she says.

"James, as in James Potter?" Lily asks, a bit incredulously. "Who?"

"A Hufflepuff girl. Frank Longbottom's twin."

"Huh," Lily says in surprise. "I didn't know Frank has a twin."

"Yeah, well, she looks exactly like Frank but in girl-version," Mary says, laughing. "Wonder why James went for her. In fact, I wonder if Frank's mad that his mate's going after his sister. You know, they might be fighting right now. Wanna go to the common room and check?"

Lily waves her away. "You go ahead," she murmurs. "I've got a lot of reading to do."


Although Lily is beginning to become swamped with homework—perhaps taking Ancient Runes was a bad idea—Potions remains her little eye in the midst of the hurricane. Outside of Slughorn absolutely adoring her—he had begun mentioning something called the "Slug Club" as of late—the work is just peaceful.

There is one aspect, though. Gryffindor and Slytherin take Potions together.

Lily knows that Severus is the only one who is better at her than Potions in their class. They would probably automatically be partners even if they weren't best friends. Instead, at the beginning of class, he avoids her eyes and immediately sits by Mulciber.

Lily can't say it doesn't sting when they're next to each other, measuring out ingredients in the closet, and he won't even meet her eyes. She tries to understand, she really does. But blood status remains something still incomprehensible to her. It wasn't like racism, not exactly. There was no difference in appearance that factored in; you could pretend to be pureblooded in a way you couldn't pretend to be a different race. It was more like social elitism, except that she had never read any news headlines before about wanting to completely wipe out the poor people in London.

(She can't even pick up a Prophet these days without seeing some headline or another about another four Muggleborns killed. She feels so far away from it at Hogwarts, but soon she will be graduated. She doesn't know what this means for her.)

She tries to understand that Slytherin is just unaccepting of some things. A half-blood is distasteful but still socially acceptable, maybe not for marriage, but if you wanted to have a fling with a half-blood, if you wanted to study with a half-blood, you could.

A Muggleborn is another story. And she tries to understand that.

She has never been very good at pushing things down, and this is no exception. She just wonders how long it'll be until things come to a head.


"Lily," Sirius calls from across the hall.

Lily freezes. It's definitely too late to pretend she didn't hear him, but she still considers the idea all the same. Then she sighs and turns around. "Hello, Sirius."

He jogs a little to catch up with her, smiling brilliantly. "I haven't seen you in years! Where have you been?"

She lifts one shoulder. "I've been caught up with a lot of things," she lies. "Homework and all that, you know."

He frowns at her. "That's rubbish. James is taking the same classes as you, and he doesn't spend half the amount of time as you do on work." She bristles, and he backtracks. "I mean, c'mon, you can't spend your whole life studying. Come play exploding snap with Remus and me."

"Sorry, I'd really like to," she says, and she's not even sure if she's lying. "But I promised I'd spend some time with Mary today."

"Well, she can come too," he says, and then immediately stiffens, his eyes fixed on something.

Lily turns, following his line of sight, and realizes it's not something but someone. Or more accurately, Regulus. Lily frowns. Last year Sirius had spoke of Regulus in affectionate tones, if Sirius ever speaks about anything affectionately. She's not sure what's changed since then.

"Well, look at that," Regulus says, sneering, and Lily marvels at how he sounds like Sirius. How he looks like Sirius. They could be twins, except for the pure spite and meanness that oozes from his words. "A blood-traitor and a Mudblood. How utterly unsurprising."

The two boys walking with him laugh as they walk by. "Why, Black, if my brother were like that, my mum would've burned him off the family tree already," one of them says.

Regulus smiles. "Don't worry," he says. "My mother has already begun speaking to me of my duties as the heir of the House of Black. It's only a matter of time."

They turn a corner and disappear, and Lily turns to look at Sirius. He looks...defeated, and wildly different from the mercurial Sirius that she knows, the one that would hex first and ask later. In fact, he had said nothing to defend himself the entire time, hadn't raised his wand at all.

"Sirius," she says, forgetting for one moment about her little crush. She puts a hand on his arm tentatively. "Are you alright?"

Sirius laughs humorlessly. "It's fine," he says, his voice as cold as she's ever heard it. "Let's go back to the dorm."


She's walking to Charms when it happens. She rounds a corner and Severus is there, and she lifts a hand to wave, but realizes something is very off about him. He's not moving, despite the awkward position he's in, and that's when Lily sees James and Sirius, wands pointed at Severus. James opens his mouth to say something, and Lily doesn't even think; she just acts. "Furunculus," she shouts, and little red pimples begin sprouting on James's previously clear face. He lets out an expletive and touches his face gingerly. Sirius turns to look at her, astonished, but she pushes him aside and performs the countercurse on Severus. He almost topples over but quickly regains his balance, glaring at the three of them. "Sev, are you—"

"Leave me alone!" he snaps, backing away like a cornered cat in an alley, hackles raised. "I don't need your help!"

Lily watches him go, something like frustration and pity boiling inside of her. "You two!" Lily shouts, turning her anger on James and Sirius. "You two are the most immature, despicable, bullying people I have ever met. Two-on-one seems like a fair fight to you, right? In the halls, no less! Breaking school rules—could have had points taken—bullying!"

"Lily—" Sirius begins, but Lily whirls on him.

"Do not start," she warns. "I don't want to hear your excuses."

The people around them begin to murmur, and Lily realizes they have attracted quite a crowd. She gives them one last disgusted look before turning around and heading back to her class.


"Lily," Marlene says. "James broke up with his girlfriend."

"Great," Lily says flatly.

"Rumor has it it's for you."

Lily looks up at that. "For me?" she says incredulously. "Why?"

"Well," Marlene says, positively brimming with pleasure at being the one to deliver the gossip, "I heard from Frank who heard from Peter who heard from Sirius that in the hospital, James was positively dreamy-eyed over you. Wasn't even mad that you jinxed him. He kept talking about how smart and good at magic you were, and how pretty your hair was."

Lily's mouth falls open almost comically. "Did I hit him with a Confundus while I was at it?"

"Do you even know how to do a Confundus?" Marlene asks suspiciously.

"No," Lily admits. "Not yet. But I will soon. Anyways," she says, picking up her books, "James is an arrogant tosser and I have no interest in him or any of his feelings. He can rot in hell for all I care."

Marlene shakes her head in mock disappointment. "You know any girl would die to be in your place, right?" she asks. Lily doesn't even deign to answer that.


There is no way any girl would die to be in her place. Or maybe they would have to. Because this is definitely hell.

Not only is James obnoxious, arrogant, and a huge prat, he also has no idea how to take a hint. In fact, Lily's not even hinting. She's flat-out rejecting, and he doesn't seem to understand.

"You know," Remus says wryly, "I think the more you curse him, the more determined he gets." Today's proposal had been in the form of twelve doves that sang a terribly written poem about how pretty her eyes were. Lily has to admit, she was a tiny bit impressed by his spellwork. That hadn't stopped her from flinging a Stinging Hex at his hopeful face, though.

Lily sighs in frustration. "I don't know what to do," she says irritatedly. "He doesn't take no for an answer, he likes it when I curse him...What can I do to get him off my case?"

Remus shrugs. "Not my problem," he says mildly. "Thank Merlin."

Lily shoves him. "You're the worst friend ever," she accuses, but there's a smile on her face as she says so.


As time goes by, James's proposals still don't let up, but they start to fade into the monotony of every day. Soon she doesn't even blink when her Potions textbook spells out "LILY, GO OUT WITH ME?" or when he performs a terrible, terrible ballad in the common room. (Finally, Lily finds something that he's not good at.) Sirius, on the other hand, poses another problem.

Since the incident, she had refused to speak to Sirius and had gone out of her way to avoid him. And it had worked—until now.

He corners her after Potions class one day. "Lily, just hear me out for one second, okay?" he asks, clearly reading the stubborn expression on her face.

She scowls, but although she has no problem avoiding Sirius, rejecting him flat-out to his face is something else. "Fine," she says. "You get one minute, and I'm actually going to count the seconds."

"I'm really sorry," he blurts out. "For what I did, I mean. I know that it was mean. But it's reciprocated, you know that, right? It's not like Snape isn't giving as good as he got. It's petty, maybe, but it's not...It's equal, still. A fair fight."

"He's my best friend," she says slowly. "I don't know if I can be friends with someone who tries to curse my best friend."

"Your best friend?" he says impatiently. "He doesn't even blink when his friends call you M—that word, doesn't acknowledge you in the halls, doesn't even look at you to save face in front of your friends."

Lily clenches her fists. "Well," she says tightly. "If that's all, then—"

"No—stop—" Sirius says, grabbing her wrist. "I'm sorry. I didn't drag you out here to talk to you about that, even though you know I'm right." She opens her mouth to argue, but he cuts her off. "You know I'm right, Lily. Anyways. I just wanted to say sorry. I really miss you, Lily, and I miss our friendship. I feel like you've been avoiding me, even before all that happened." He looks at her, and his eyes are big and wide.

She sighs. "I'm sorry, too," she says. "I just...Things have been crazy lately. But I'll be better now. I won't have as much work." She had missed their friendship, too; even with the awkwardness that permeated their relationship with her revelation, it still felt like something was missing from her life without him.

"So hang out with me this weekend," he says.

She frowns. "This weekend? Like in the common room?"

He flashes her an ear-to-ear grin. "No. Hogsmeade."

"But second-years aren't allowed in Hogsmeade," she says confusedly.

"I know," he says, still grinning. "Don't worry about it. Just meet me at two in the common room, okay? I've got to go back and meet Remus now." He gives her a thumbs up and jogs away before she can say anything else.


"Well?" she says when she sees him in the common room. "How are you going to manage this one, Black?"

"Oh, so I'm Black again, now, am I?" he says as he leads her out the common room and through the halls.

She grins as they fall easily back into the same patterns. "You're Black for now until you make good on your word. I'm expecting a Hogsmeade trip, and you best not disappoint.

"Don't worry," he says assuredly. "I never disappoint." They're standing outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, in front of a statue of a...witch with one eye?

"What's this?" she asks suspiciously, but he doesn't answer. He pulls out his wand and taps the hump and hisses a word, and then the hump opens up. "What in Merlin?"

"It's safe," he promises. "I've been down here loads. C'mon." He slides down the passageway, and after a few seconds of indecision, Lily follows him warily.

"If this doesn't lead to Hogsmeade," she says warningly.

"I would never lie to you, Lily," he says, and she can hear the grin in his voice. She shakes his head. "Just a bit longer...Okay! Here we are."

The passage opens up to reveal a door, which Sirius and Lily pass through to enter a...cellar? Around them stacked high are a bunch of boxes.

"We're in the cellar of Honeydukes," he says. "The candy shop. Here. Come over here." He pulls a wispy material of some sort out of his pocket. Lily stares at it curiously. It almost could blend in with the surroundings, except there's a certain strange wavering quality about it that attracts the eye. She can't quite tell what it is. He opens it up and drapes it over the two of them. "Come closer," he mutters, and pulls her in. They're pressed skin to skin underneath the strange blanket of some sort, and her heart begins to race. Sirius doesn't even seem fazed by the proximity. "It's an Invisibility Cloak," he whispers excitedly. "No one can see us if we're under this."

"Where the hell did you get an Invisibility Cloak?" she asks incredulously.

He shrugs. "It's James's. Think he got it from his dad or something." He grabs her hand and begins to lead them out into the actual store of Honeydukes, and she stops, amazed.

The store is crowded with tens of other students, students that she recognizes from the halls of Hogwarts. Boys and girls alike are crowded around the candies in every shape and color imaginable.

"Here," Sirius says, pulling her over to a display. He darts his eyes around, and then quickly grabs one of the candies. "Sugar quill. Try some."

Lily gingerly sticks it in her mouth. "Huh. This is actually pretty good," she says, pleasantly surprised.

"Told ya," Sirius says, smiling at her. "I know all the good candies. C'mon."

In the end they have a hoard of almost all the different candies, Chocolate Frogs, Fizzing Whizzbees, Ice Mice, and Pumpkin Pasties just making up a few. Sirius loads them both down with their cargo, which Sirius says he promised to bring to the boys.

When they arrive back at the school, Sirius folds the cloak up and puts it into a pocket, and they make their way back to the common room where James is lounging about on a couch. Upon seeing Sirius, his eyes light up, but narrow and become suspicious when he sees Lily in tow, too. "What's this?" James asks distrustfully.

"We come bearing sweets, as promised," Sirius sing-songs, but James's eyes just narrow even more, this time with anger.

"You went to Hogsmeade with her?" James accuses.

"Uh, yeah, mate, that's what I told you," Sirius says confusedly.

"You said you were going to Hogsmeade with a girl! Not her," James bellows. "I thought—you're my best mate—the bro code, you know—"

"Calm the hell down, Potter," she says, rolling her eyes. "Not that it's any of your business, but it wasn't a date."

Sirius now turns to look at her. "Not a date?" he asks, clutching his chest in mock agony, and he's joking, Lily knows he's joking, but she feels like she can sense a...layer of hurt underneath?

Wait. Had she totally misjudged this situation—

James is still huffy, and he sputters a little bit longer, his face red, but it seems his worries have been relieved. In the commotion, Lily heads back to her room to ponder the information she has just discovered.


James just gets even worse after the incident in the common room, now broadening his scope to include loud, attention-attracting proposals from the entire school. Some girls in James's little fan club have taken to glaring at her in the halls, and she doesn't know how to say Just take him! I don't want him!

Sirius is still the same teasing, flirtatious boy he'd always been, but sometimes she'll catch him looking at her intensely, as if she's a—it seems almost weird to voice the thought—a problem to be dealt with. As soon as they make eye contact, he'll crack a joke, but still. She has an inkling of a suspicion of what's going on, but she dismisses it quickly. It's Sirius. He doesn't have feelings.

The end of the year can't come too soon. On the train, she and Remus are content to sit quietly while the rest boisterously discuss their summer plans. Sirius insists that his parents will welcome him home with ropes of pearls and sparkling jewels, and champagne, no less. Everyone laughs, but Lily meets his eyes and his gaze drops.

Alice invites her to spend a few weeks in the summer with her family, and Lily happily accepts, with the caveat that she'll still have to get her parents' permission first. Still, though, she thinks it'll be fun to get away from her house for awhile.

Her thoughts turn to Petunia, and she stares gloomily out the window the rest of the way home, already dreading the summer. Sometimes she wishes she could just stay at Hogwarts forever, and never go home.


Great big thanks to codenamemarauder for making me realize that eleven-year-olds don't talk like that...I have revised some of the dialogue from last chapter, so hopefully it's a tad more believable now. Honestly I don't really remember or know what eleven-year-olds do actually speak like, so I hope this suffices. And thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited.

Exam season is upon me, so it might take me a bit longer to get the next couple of chapters up, but my inspiration is still going strong so I've been working on this story despite it being so detrimental to my studies and not a good use of time at all.

As always, my tumblr is cxrmacmclaggen, and if you have any criticism or ways I could improve, I would love to hear it.