---
O Captain, My Captain.
---
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, no profit sought.
---
Chapter 2: The Ship Has Weather'd
---
Spock had had no intention whatsoever of gaining access to the knowledge now in his possession. After thoroughly organizing the transference of the supplies aboard the Enterprise to where they were needed throughout the colony, his intention had been to assess their progress and offer any assistance he was able, and perhaps to offer greetings to his alternate self, whom he knew to be residing there. Shortly after beginning his inquiries and observations, Spock had felt a disorienting interference within his mind, which he immediately recognized as a telepathic signal of unknown origin being directed towards him. Further focus on this interference led him to the swift conclusion that the origin was, in fact, himself, or rather, his future self. Unsure of what the purpose of this telepathic intrusion could be, but confident that it could not be unintentional, Spock determinedly traced the beacon to it's source.
Although few had ever had the audacity to directly comment upon Spock's ability to do almost any task with a complete lack of sound, he was not unaware of his aptitude to 'sneak up and scare the goddamn hell out of everybody,' as phrased by Dr. McCoy. Whether or not this prowess had proved positive or negative on this occasion, Spock had not concluded. However, the fact of the matter could not be altered: he had approached the Captain and his future self, so silently that he was not be detected, and clearly heard the words "in another lifetime, we were both desirous of a closer relationship" spoken by the latter. Immediately recognizing the subject of their conversation by evaluating the Captain's facial expressions, he removed himself as quietly and even more rapidly than he had arrived.
Spock now had a prodigous amount of queries to process. His primary concern was the behavior of his future self, whom Spock knew was conscious of the fact that his younger self had heard this proclamation. Not only had he intentionally led Spock to the location it was spoken, but he was also fully aware of his presence there at that moment in time. Vulcan senses were acutely more perceptive than humans, and therefore only the Captain had been ignorant of his proximity. The amount of unmitigated interference exhibited by his alternate self concerning not only his affairs, but that of the Captain, was exceedingly inappropriate. Spock was not only cognizant of the confusion and mental agitation he was suffering himself, but also of the fact that his Captain was experiencing similar disorientation. However, as his current comtemplations were in no way as pressing as his duties to the Enterprise and the prosperity of his culture, Spock discarded them and returned his focus to his original intention.
--
Many hours passed before Spock allowed his mind to return to its previous considerations. However, he could not deny that there were no further conclusions to draw without additional information, and even that would most likely not yield a determined course of action. Spock further realized that no course of action was, in fact, required at all. He could simply continue as he was, with the knowledge that both he and the Captain would never completely be able to erase the possibility of a romantic attachment between them. The unfortunate nature of this particular information was that it did insert complications into the friendship between himself and the Captain. His future self had told Spock that this was a friendship that would define them both, in ways that he could not yet realize. Clearly, he could not forego a relationship that was apparently essential to his time in Starfleet and beyond it.
That wasvthe only decision Spock could come to: he must continue his present course as far as his relationship with the Captain was concerned. But would this course end at a close friendship or continue to something more intimate? Such a relationship was, in itself, a dilemna, regardless of whom the second party was. Nyota had provided him with a close companion, someone to speak with about matters he could entrust to no other, and later with some physical intimacy, but she never attempted to cross the boundaries which Spock set. She was the closest confidant he had ever allowed himself to have, and he had been glad of her support when he was struggling with his emotions upon the death of his mother and his planet. The limited relationship was beneficial to them both, however their emotional attachment was in no way as deep as the bonds experienced by his people, or the human chemical reaction known as 'love.' Furthermore, they placed no restrictions upon one another, and Nyota freely enjoyed the attentions of other men, often in a physical capacity. His relationship with Nyota was, at present, logical.
His alternate self had suggested that his friendship with the Captain was not only logical, but somehow necessary. Therefore, it followed that he believed that introducing a romantic element to this friendship was also necessary. He could not imagine that his future self was so altered from his present self that he would interefere in such an elaborate manner concerning something he was not entirely positive about. Then there was the truth of the fact that he was simply not interested in the Captain in any romantic fashion. Despite Spock's outward calm, except on the rare occasion it was provoked into nonexistence by said Captain, he was not ignorant of the fact that both his human and Vulcan halves felt emotions such as attachment, and affection. He felt them and recognized them, but his Vulcan control simply compelled him not to express them. Spock and the Captain interacted amiably, their contrasting personalities and perspectives working well to understand every angle of a situation. However, when Spock's logic was not harmoniously counteracting the Captain's impulsiveness, he often found him to be brash, unprofessional, and what Dr. McCoy would most likely term 'a pain in the ass.' Spock found it highly unlikely that these opinions would change in such a dramatic way as to make him physically or romantically inclined towards the Captain.
"Bridge to Mr. Spock," the Captain's voice announced from the intercom on his desk. Spock unfolded gracefully from his meditative pose and stood up, moving to respond.
"Spock here."
"You are requested on the bridge, Mr. Spock. Ensign Masada is feeling poorly and has been relieved of his position at the science station."
"On my way, Captain. Spock out."
--
Although Starfleet regulations specified that someone always be present and monitoring the science station and its scanners, Spock calculated it unnecessary approximately 74.398% of the time. With several days until the Enterprise reached the nearest planet assigned for their exploration, Spock had little to occupy himself at his station. Keeping sufficient attention on the scanners in front of him, Spock continued his ruminations concerning himself and the Captain. Turning slightly in his chair, he observed the other man with his peripheral vision. He looked inappropriately bored. Although Spock was also experiencing exasperation with his lack of anything significantly useful to do, he would never allow his expression to waver from anything but polite detachment. He would certainly not allow his body to slacken completely in his chair and his head to fall back, eyes closing with the weight of idleness.
Objectively, he supposed the Captain was physically attractive. Spock was perfectly capable of acknowledging this trait in other sentient beings, although rarely experiencing it in any personal way. Although he had never experienced such attraction towards a male, he had never labeled himself with any specific gender preference. Vulcans, being a logical species, harbored none of the prejudices against same-sex relationships that were sometimes found in humans. Spock knew from Earth's history, however, that this intolerance had decreased greatly from past decades. For Vulcans, mental compatibility was the foremost concern in bonding, and therefore gender had little relevance. Like many children on his planet, Spock had been betrothed in childhood. Because the emotion involved in finding a compatible bondmate could result in a loss of logic and control, Vulcans preferred to facilitate the connection forcefully and not allow it to develop independently. But like so many of his kind, his intended bondmate, T'Pring, had perished on Vulcan. There were a substantial number of Vulcans, however, particularly in recent decades, who chose their own bondmates, like his father.
Vulcans also bonded for life. Spock found it difficult to imagine the Captain engaging in a long-term romantic relationship. He was as aware as anyone else of the Captain's substantial proclivities towards sexual activity. Spock understood the enjoyment associated with sexual release, but not with such frequency. He would be entirely uncomfortable with relieving control so often. There was something ironic about the Captain, who shamelessly enjoyed being in charge, being periodically inclined to give up control in such a fashion.
No matter how many logical conclusions Spock came to in his own mind, they all seemed to be completely irrelevant when considered alongside the information given by his future self. And, as he had noted previously, he knew himself, despite what timeline he may have come from. He was certain not only about the importance his friendship with the Captain, but also about the importance of pursuing a romantic relationship with him. He could only assume that the feelings of physical attraction and emotional affection which accompanied these associations would appear at some later date. Spock could only continue his friendship with the Captain and wait for the rest to unfold in time.
--
The Enterprise was still over 24 hours away from her destination as Spock stepped into the turbolift a half-step behind the Captain.
"How about a game of chess, Spock?" the Captain asked, turning towards him.
"Certainly, Captain," Spock agreed, pressing the button for deck 3. As the doors opened, Spock followed the Captain to recreation room 6. He sat down in front of the three-dimensional chess set, always set up on a table along the left wall, straight-backed and perfectly postured. The Captain sat down across from him, stretching his spine along the back of his chair before relaxing his elbows on the table's surface.
"Are you ready to get your ass handed to you, yet again?" the Captain smirked. Spock raised his eyebrow.
"Your illogical approach to a logical activity does often prove effective, as your actions are difficult to anticipate," Spock allowed.
"Is that the Vulcan way of saying I only win because I confuse you by playing like an idiot?"
"Your own phrasing entirely, Captain," Spock replied, beginning the game by moving one of his pawns. They continued to play as they spoke, mostly discussing their recent visit to the Vulcan colony.
"Looks like it's going very well. Bones was especially impressed with the steps they've taken to increase their numbers," the Captain commented.
"Indeed. I believe my alternate self was a indispensable part of the planning process," Spock informed him, his eyebrow going up again as the Captain started and knocked a rook off the second tier. "Are you well, Captain?"
"The other Spock told me that the universe would explode if you knew he existed. Vulcans can't lie, my ass."
"Vulcans make every attempt to always be truthful, unless logic demands that they are not. I had assumed that my future self had informed you that he revealed himself to me when you spoke to him on Tolvek IV."
"How do you know I spoke to him?" the Captain accused, his tone alarmed. Spock would have done better to heed his own advice concerning thoughtless honesty.
"I... observed you speaking to him, Captain."
"I was unaware that Vulcans were in the habit of eavesdropping."
"It was not my intention to overhear anything."
"Aha! So you did overhear something?" the Captain pointed at him triumphantly.
"I have no comment on the matter," Spock deadpanned, internally furious with himself, although his expression had remained blank. The game continued in silence until Spock spoke several minutes later. "Checkmate." Clearly, the Captain's distraction over what Spock may or may not know had been to his First Officer's advantage.
"Well, damn," the Captain sighed.
"I would not be too disappointed, Captain. Your mind was obviously not on the game," Spock pointed out.
"No, it wasn't, Spock. I was wondering how to weasel out what you heard between myself and... yourself."
"I am immune to such attempts, Captain."
"We'll see about that, Spock."
---
