First off, I own neither Daria (MTV or whoever owns that) nor Star Wars (George Lucas owns that). I am not making anything off of this. I hope that you all enjoy.

Part Two:

NARRATOR: Okay, everyone, quick recap. The Lawndale Federation led by Viceroy Kevin Gunray has blockaded Naboo. Supreme Chancellor Andrew Landon sent Jedi Knight Amy-Gon Jinn and her Padawan Dari-Wan Kenobi to negotiate. However, Darth Li ordered Kevin to invade Naboo, and Queen Jane Amidala has decided to surrender. We now return to our two heroes who are even now being hounded by a rather pathetic life form…

(Cut to the Naboo jungles where Amy-Gon is running away from a large Federation Tank. As she runs, she tries to keep animals out of the way. One of these animals is tall and humanoid, and too stupid to run away. Amy-Gon, not able to get him away, jumps on the creature, and the tank drives over them, but they are safe because the Tank rides on a three-foot cushion of air.)

CREATURE: Well, Heyo-dallee. I just love a woman who takes charge. Feisty!

(Amy-Gon stands. The creature stands as well, he is tall, bright orange, has long floppy ears, and is dressed rather shoddily. On the top of his head is a patch of very curly, very red hair. And he smiles lecherously.)

AMY-GON: (Shouting) ARE YOU BRAINLESS?! YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED!

UPCHUCK: (Unfazed) Hi, I'm Upchuck Binks. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Rowrl. How about we find somewhere and get better acquainted.

AMY-GON: Please. Are all the members of your species chauvinists like you?

UPCHUCK: No, I'm special.

AMY-GON: I'll bet. Now get out of here. (starts walking away)

UPCHUCK: (following) No way. It's not everyday that a suave person like myself meets a ravishingly feisty woman as you. I'm not letting you go that easily.

(Before Amy-Gon can retort, Dari-Wan appears. She is running through the area, followed by several cheer-droids firing their blasters.)

AMY-GON: (throwing Upchuck to the ground) DOWN!

(Amy-Gon pulls out her lightsaber, and deflects the blasts back. The droids are destroyed. Dari-Wan approaches Amy-Gon and Upchuck, she is soaking wet.)

DARI-WAN: Hello, Mistress. Sorry but I couldn't take them out myself.

(Dari-Wan pulls out her lightsaber, it is covered with moss and grass.)

AMY-GON: You fried the matrix again. Dari-Wan, how many times must I tell you not to ignite a soaked lightsaber unless it has a guard for the crystal.

UPCHUCK: (standing up) Well, another feisty female specimen. Dare I dream?

DARI-WAN: What's this?

AMY-GON: A local. Slimy one, too.

DARI-WAN: Aha. (A loud crunching is heard in the background) We better get moving.

(Amy-Gon and Dari-Wan start walking away, content to leave Upchuck to the Pep Squads, but he follows them lecherously)

UPCHUCK: If you don't mind my saying…

AMY-GON: Oh, but we do mind…

UPCHUCK: …but the safest place to go to would be Otoh Gunga, a hidden city. Perhaps we could-

DARI-WAN: (cutting him off) A hidden city.

AMY-GON: (quietly) We should warn this city, they may be able to distract the Pep Squads as we go to Theed.

DARI-WAN: (quietly) Besides, we have to seek out new life and new civilizations.

AMY-GON: (quietly) Funny, young Padawan. But I do believe that the Federation we deal with has ulterior motives from that one. (louder, to Upchuck) Alright, Upchuck; take me to your leader.

UPCHUCK: Follow me, madam feisty, I, Senor Suavecito-

DARI-WAN: Can it Upchuck. Just lead the way.

UPCHUCK: Fine.

(Upchuck leads the two Knights through the marshlands. They end up at the edge of a large lagoon)

UPCHUCK: Right this way, my ladies.

(Upchuck jumps into the lagoon by doing a double backwards somersault while whistling the star spangled banner)

DARI-WAN: Great, more water.

AMY-GON: Let's get this over with.

(Amy-Gon and Dari-Wan wade into the water, and then follow Upchuck through the lagoon. Under water they see a large city made up of large bioluminescent globes encasing large structures. They land on a platform protruding from one of the globes. Upchuck leads them through the gelatinous material)

DARI-WAN: Walls of Jell-O®. Just hope they don't run out of food.

(As the three dry off, they see several Gungans walking around, strutting actually. The city is populated by fashion models. One of the Gungans, on a mount, comes forward. Captain Claude immediately zeroes in on Upchuck)

CLAUDE: Upchuck, you know that you were banished. Boss Romanica is not going to be happy with you.

DARI-WAN: Forget to mention something, Senor Suavesito?

(Claude finally notices the two Knights)

CLAUDE: I am Captain Claude. I am in charge of security. Welcome to Otoh Gunga. Here we try to look good and be beautiful. Follow me.

(The three adventurers follow Claude)

AMY-GON: I find it interesting that even in an underwater city, we still have to deal with a Dolph Lundgren type like this.

DARI-WAN: I find it interesting that his brain was able to generate enough power to say that.

(Meanwhile, Upchuck tries to hit on each and every female in sight. That is, until they arrive at the Boss's meeting hall. Seated encircling the room, the leaders of the Gungan community look down on Amy-Gon, Dari-Wan, Upchuck, and Captain Claude. In the middle, and on a larger throne-like chair sits Boss Romanica.)

ROMANICA: I thought we told you never to come back!

UPCHUCK: Well, I just couldn't-

ROMANICA: QUIET. We have had enough of you. Claude, throw him out. No, better yet, fire him out of the cannon.

(Upchuck feints at the thought of being fired. Amy-Gon steps forward.)

AMY-GON: Listen, we come from the Republic. A large army is moving against the Naboo.

ROMANICA: We don't like the Naboo. They have no modeling sense. They think they're better than us. Stupid Artsy types

DARI-WAN: Wait a second; even if you don't agree with the Naboo, you have to realize that the Pep Squads will attack you once they're done on the surface.

ROMANICA: I don't think so.

AMY-GON: Fine, then at least allow us to leave and continue on our way.

(Romanica seems ready to disagree, but Amy-Gon gets an idea)

AMY-GON: We'll even take leech-face here with us.

ROMANICA: (smiling) Fine, take him and go. Claude, give them a Bongo. The quickest way to the Naboo is through the Planet's Core (She laughs evilly)

(Amy-Gon turns to leave. She and Dari-Wan pick Upchuck off the ground, and follow Claude out)

DARI-WAN: Amy, what's a Bongo?

AMY-GON: A transport, I hope.

(Cut to outside of Otoh Gunga. The three adventurers ride in a bongo, a small submersible vehicle that looks like a squid. Inside, Dari-Wan drives, with Upchuck riding shotgun and Amy-Gon in the back.)

UPCHUCK: Dis is nutzen.

AMY-GON: Perhaps, but at least we're not dead.

DARI-WAN: Speak for yourself, I'd rather be fried by the Pep Squads, then possibly eaten by some huge underwater fish.

AMY-GON: Ha, ever the pessimist.

DARI-WAN: (smiling) Optimism is overrated.

UPCHUCK: So, how would you lovelies like to find somewhere secluded to get to know each other better.

(Dari-Wan turns in her seat, and very simply, gives Upchuck the Vulcan neck pinch. He promptly fall asleep)

AMY-GON: Dari-Wan, wrong universe.

DARI-WAN: Why'd you bring him along?

AMY-GON: Simple, I felt that if we get into any hairy situation, it would be helpful to have cannon fodder of some form.

DARI-WAN: I see.

(The rest of the trip goes smoothly and the Bongo arrives safely in Theed, partly because I want to get on with the story, mostly because I don't feel like writing any crazy chase sequences involving big fish and very bad puns. Deal with it.)

(Cut to a little meeting between the Dark Lady of the Sith, and the Idiots of the Trade Federation aboard the main Federation ship.)

KEVIN: The game is going great, man.

LI: I will take that to mean that you have met little resistance in the invasion.

KEVIN: Yeah.

LI: Good, report to me when you have the Queen.

(Li's hologram disappears and Kevin is left with Brittany.)

BRITTANY: You didn't tell her about the missing Jedi

KEVIN: Missing what?

(Meanwhile, back at the ranch, uh, I mean Naboo, the Bongo emerges on the surface of the river that runs through Theed. Amy-Gon stands up.)

AMY-GON: Ah, Theed. Nice place. Good décor. Large waterfall.

(Amy-Gon sees that the little river they are in leads to a rather large waterfall, and they are moving towards it quickly.)

AMY-GON: Dari-Wan, can you start the ship back up?

DARI-WAN: Sure, why? (Pulls the keys back out of her pocket, but they fall out of her hand and drop into the water) Oh, no way.

AMY-GON: We have to get to shore, unless becoming a red mark on some rocks is your goal in life.

(Dari-Wan pulls a small devise from one of the pouches in her belt. She points it toward the land, and it fires a small grappling hook. The line secures itself, and she attaches the device to the bongo's hull.)

AMY-GON: Where do you get those wonderful toys?

(Amy-Gon and Dari-Wan grab the wire and start crossing to the shore. On the other side, they try to dry themselves off.)

DARI-WAN: What is it with us getting wet?

UPCHUCK: Perhaps you were unknowingly entered into a cosmic wet T-shirt contest. ROWL!

(Dari-Wan turns and slaps him.)

DARI-WAN: I was hoping that he was still in the Bongo going over the edge.

AMY-GON: So was I. (pause) Oh, well, looks like we're stuck with him. C'mon, the Queen awaits.

DARI-WAN: Amy, I've got-

AMY-GON: DON'T SAY IT!

NARRATOR: Well, that's it for Part II, folks. Will our heroes ever stay dry? Will they ever ditch Upchuck? What about the Queen and her entourage? Join us next time for the answers to all of these and more on THE PRICE IS RIGHT! Sorry, wrong show.

Please R&R Any feedback is welcome