Chapter Two

When Tony arrived, Pepper's house was still dark, the only light coming from the sun peeking out over the horizon. Using the spare key he let himself in, found her bedroom and flicked on the light. He was at her side instantaneously.

Pepper blinked when she heard the light switch flick on. The darkness swirled, and it seemed to be in front of her eyes. It reminded her of when she was a little girl, sitting in the car and closing her eyes, seeing the darkness turn to reds and greens in the sunlight. Purple spots appeared here and there now. Truth be told, it made her extremely dizzy.

She felt Tony's hands warm and strong grip her face, tilting it towards him. She sighed, half out of relief to feel Tony next to her and half out of exasperation.

"Of all the things I could've lost, it just had to be my eyesight. It could've been my voice – then I wouldn't have to talk to people I didn't feel like dealing with," she mumbled, figuring she'd try to put Tony at ease a little bit.

Tony didn't laugh as he usually would have, which made Pepper quite uneasy.

He stared directly into her eyes, never diverting his gaze. They weren't a clear, sharp blue anymore – they were slightly hazy, almost like a person with a relatively weak eyeglasses prescription would see something far away. Her beautiful blue eyes were still there, just…shrouded. Tony rubbed the palm of his hand over his forehead multiple times. This was tough to comprehend.

"Tony?"

He leant over to capture her lips in a chaste kiss, forgetting that she couldn't see it coming. Tony found that this didn't hinder her kissing ability at all.

He pulled away, exhaling audibly. Pepper sat quietly, twiddling her thumbs, not knowing what else to say or do. It was unnerving to her; she wasn't used to this. She was used to knowing exactly what to say in situations like this, where Tony was hurt or needed her compassion. It was on the other end of the spectrum this time around.

"Pepper…" Tony began, trying to decide on the right words. "…Honey, loo-." He stopped short instantly, realizing what he had been about to say. Pressing his lips together, he hoped desperately that she wouldn't figure out what he was about to say. She can't look at you, idiot, he snapped at himself, pressing his lips together tightly.

He tried again. "Things…things won't be different, okay? I can promise you that."

"I know." No. It wasn't going to be that easy, and that Pepper knew. But she kept quiet, lest Tony think she was overreacting – which she was, but – this was hard. She reached up to rub her temples slowly, trying to calm herself down.

Tony pulled her onto his lap on the bed, burying his nose in her hair. "How does this happen? So quickly like that?"

For once, he was totally serious in a conversation. In all the years she had known him, in all the time they had been dating, he'd almost always ended a serious conversation on a lighter note. Not this time. Or perhaps, not yet. She wished that she could see him, look closely at his face. It had become a second nature to read him that way, to see what he was truly feeling. Pepper didn't have this option now, and so she had to rely on her ears.

"Pepper?" Tony asked, starting to get worried that she wasn't immediately responding.

"Huh? Oh, right," she stammered, broken from her train of thought. "Well…it's a disease that affects the macula – it's behind the retina. The doctor always had me look at the medical records. It's been in my family for a while now. Very hereditary."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

She shrugged. "It wasn't…necessary. Nothing had happened yet. I didn't know it would be this soon. After forty or fifty I can understand, but…the doctor said it's very, very rare for this to happen so early. Not to mention completely lose vision like this. Usually it's just a blind spot, which can be easily treated."

"Oh." He sighed, and shifted Pepper so she was lying on her stomach. She put her head down and jumped when her head came in fast contact with the arc reactor.

Tony cursed at himself over and over. He was messing everything up. He was trying to offer comfort and what did he provide? She banged her head on his stupid heart because he wasn't being responsible for her, he wasn't being careful. She needed someone right now more than ever. He couldn't just leave her to go into the workshop, he now realized. Well, he could, but Jarvis would have to watch her closely. He knew she wouldn't like that, wouldn't like that at all, but he couldn't take the chance. This was…bad. Serious. An obstacle…but one that they could get through. At least, he hoped so.

"Here," he murmured, tentatively resting her head down just below the arc, softly caressing the injured area. "I'm sorry. Stupid thing always gets in the way."

"No, Tony, it's fine. You're fine," Pepper told him, fully relaxing against him.

"Do you need to see a doctor or anything?" Tony wondered aloud.

"Yes – thank you for reminding me, I probably wouldn't have bothered," she said, springing up from her position on his chest. "My ophthalmologist isn't too far from here."

"Then I can take you," Tony told her, bringing her back down onto him.

Silence fell between them. Pepper was confused, angry and tired. This wasn't right! It wasn't them. They should be talking, laughing, kissing away at each other. It didn't bode well with her, this change. She was never good with change…except when it came to Tony. But that wasn't her point.

I hate this, was Pepper's primary thought. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Tony was wrong – this changed everything. A big, gaping hole was now in her life, mocking her openly. What would she look like every day? Tony was going to have to dress her; she wouldn't be able to do anything herself anymore. She hated being taken care of. And she certainly didn't want the pity. The pity…everyone at the office, everyone everywhere would be so frivolous and fake around her. She just wanted things to be normal.

Normality seemed a lost cause.


Tony led Pepper to his car, one hand on her back to guide her. It was perfectly light out now, and apparent brightness of the sun took Pepper some getting used to.

Tony opened her door, helped her into the seat, but she drew the line at the seat belt. "I think I can find the buckle, Tony," she snapped, most likely glaring. Tony mumbled something in response although she couldn't hear what. She didn't mean to sound so harsh, but she was aggravated. What a lame excuse, she chided herself.

She crossed her arms over her chest indignantly, acting like a child but not caring in the least.

"What's your doctor's address?" Tony asked.

Pepper told him and laid her head against the seat as Tony directed Jarvis where to go. It was silent as Tony drove.

"So, I was thinking," Tony began after a while, clapping and rubbing his hands together at a stoplight. "You're going to need someone with you all the time. And don't take this the wrong way, because I've wanted this for a while now."

"What are you trying to say, Tony?" Pepper asked quietly. She could feel a headache coming on and all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sleep for a long time.

"I think you should move in with me."

She paused, contemplating this. "I don't need anyone. I can take care of myself."

"Come on, Pepper."

"What?"

"Wha-? You can't see, for crying out loud! I'd hate to see you trip, or bang into a wall, or hurt yourself in any way, so unless you have a Life Alert or something -."

"I have hands and arms that aren't broken! I can feel my way around."

"I'm just saying that I want to be here to help you," he said calmly, taking her hand in his.

"And I'm just saying you never would have asked if this hadn't happened," Pepper accused.

"Did I not just say I've wanted to ask you to move in for a while now? That I've wanted you to move in? I do, you know. I love you so much."

Pepper halted, her words stalled. It wasn't often Tony spoke his feelings aloud. She really wanted to be able to look at him.

She squeezed his hand in response. "I know, I'm sorry. This is hard on me. I love you, too."

"No, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have just sprung that on you like that -."

"No, Tony, you're right. I need someone to watch over me." She said these words with much distaste as Tony pulled the car into the ophthalmologist's office.

He walked her inside to the front desk, and sat down as she gave her name and appointment time to the receptionist. Time ticked on slowly as he waited for her to come back, and when she did the doctor smiled and said, "You're all set, take care."

Pepper thanked him and Tony guided her out to the car once more.

"What did he say?" Tony inquired when they were back on the road.

"Just what I already knew," she said.

"Which is…?"

"What I told you mere hours ago, Tony. Don't tell me you forgot." She narrowed her eyes, half playful and half serious.

"No, I remember, I swear. I didn't know if there was more you knew that I didn't."

"No. I told you everything that needs knowing," she sighed. "He told me to look into getting a dog, too."

Tony laughed as he pulled up into the garage. "We could definitely get you a dog. The really calm, smart ones? Guide dogs? That would help, right?"

Pepper shook her head. "Tony, I don't know if I need the dog."

"Well, obviously your doctor thinks it would help you. It walks around with you! Shows you where thing are. They're highly trained or something like that," Tony said as he helped her out of the car.

"Alright, I'll think about it, how about that?" she laughed. She found that she could recognize where they were by the sounds and smells. The workshop was easy; the bedroom and the living room would come even easier. The kitchen wouldn't be hard to locate, either.

"Okay, let's see…Pep, hop on my back," Tony said, guiding Pepper behind him.

"What? And what if I miss, end up sprawled on the floor? It'll be your fault, you know," she replied, wagging her finger at him. Now this was more like it.

"I've got you in position. Just gather some energy and hop up! A much easier way to travel, hmm?" His tone had a mock seriousness in it, and she laughed freely for the first time in a while.

"Okay…" she said, still doubting, but she hoisted herself onto Tony's back nonetheless.

"Good lord," she muttered as Tony ascended the stairs. "I feel like a little kid again."

"Having fun, are we?" Tony asked, his voice strained. "You're not as light as you look, you know."

Pepper thwacked his shoulder playfully. "Oh, come on, you're doing great. I've got to weigh less than that heavy metal you support on your body all the time."

"Very true," Tony mused, and plopped her down on the couch. "Want some ice cream?"

"Please," she said, grabbing the throw from off the back of the couch and huddled it around her body.

Despite how happy she'd become earlier in the day, by evening Pepper felt that same helpless feeling. Tony and her had watched TV, and it made Pepper rather nostalgic and…sad to hear the words "see" and "look" appear so often in conversation. She didn't know what was wrong. One minute she and Tony had been their banter-filled selves and now, she found herself quiet and feeble. The same she had felt this morning.

That long sleep sounded fantastic right now.

She was about to call for Tony, then stopped. She didn't want to bother him, although she knew very well that he didn't mind. What had changed inside of her?

Tony saw Pepper stand up and begin to feel her way around, and jumped up from the couch as well. "Hey, where are you going? Eager, are we?"

"Bed," Pepper mumbled. "I'm…tired."

"Well, here, let me hel-."

"No." The word was spoken cold and cruel and Pepper didn't recognize herself. "I need some time alone."

Tony hesitated before saying, "I don't think-."

Pepper cut him off again. "All I want – I just need some privacy, some alone time. I can get to the bedroom just fine, and I don't need help."

Tony was about to argue, but stopped himself to think it over. Maybe she needed to prove to herself that she could get around on her own. Unknown to him, that was exactly what Pepper wanted, and needed, to do.

"Alright. Good night, Pepper." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. After getting over the unexpectedness, she returned the kiss with equal vigor. She felt that she owed him that much, after all her outbursts.

It took her a good ten minutes to find the bedroom, and another wasted ten minutes trying to change into fresh pajamas. She gave up, angrily pounding the bed with her fist, fighting back tears…again. What was wrong? She had never been this negatively affected by something, ever. It was understandable, however Pepper felt like she should get over this easier, like she should accept the help graciously like any other person would do. But it was hard to do so, and she couldn't place her finger on the reason why.

She tried to shut the light off, until she remembered that Jarvis could just as easily do it. She'd almost forgotten the AI, since he hadn't said much since they arrived. Her vision loss seemed to be affecting her more than she thought. "Jarvis? Lights out, please."

"Of course, Miss Potts." The room darkened in a flash. Pepper turned over, huddling in on herself. As she went to sleep, she couldn't help but think what's wrong with me?

To be continued.