AN: I'll be updating every Sunday. Thank you ALL so much for your kind reviews, they keep me going :)
For the purpose of this story, the shooting occurred on a Friday, not a Saturday. Also; imagine that it was a public holiday on that day.
Two hours earlier
"Well done, Ava" Connor exhaled softly as he stepped back from the operating table, allowing the scrub nurses to prepare to transfer their patient out of the OR.
"He seemed intent on dying" Ava muttered in response, ignoring the compliment while ripping her gown off.
He couldn't agree any more. As soon as they'd finished stitching the first valve in; a porcine mitral valve, and decannulated the heart, there was severe mitral regurgitation, so much so that their patient crashed. Turns out, due to budget cuts, the hospital had bought cheaper valves from a new manufacturer that hadn't even conducted human trials yet. They quickly had to put him back on bypass and switch to a mechanical valve. However, he coded once more as they took him off bypass again. Ava's quick heart massage and well-timed shot of epi right into the muscle had brought him back for the second time and at least he seemed stable now.
"Take him up to the cardiac ICU, continue the heparin drip" she said in clipped tone as the nurses started to wheel him out.
He glanced interestedly at her. All morning long, she hadn't seemed to be her usual self. He'd blamed it on the stress of this operation since she had been the lead; neither of them couldn't afford any mistakes this close to the end of their fellowship.
But now that she had successfully managed to see their patient through it, she should be more relaxed. She shouldn't still have those stiff shoulders and the frown lines in her forehead.
Maybe something else was bothering her?
Before he could lightly tease her with something along the lines of got up on the wrong foot today, she spun on her heels and strode out of the OR into the scrub room.
He followed her.
"Quite the start to the day, huh?" he mused, grabbing a bar of soap.
She snorted quietly, furiously rubbing her arms to generate a creamy lather.
"Yeah" she said shortly.
Ok; this was definitely not normal. Before he could try prod at her again, she seemed to realise that her tone was too snappy, for she glumly added, "So, Dr Latham gets the bank holiday off, but we don't?"
Connor looked up from his hands and turned towards her. That's what was bothering her?
He decided not to state that thought in words like that, lest she bit his head off. Instead, he curiously noted, "Look at you, how would you know that today is a holiday?"
She glanced at him briefly and shrugged, "First thing anyone does in a foreign country is to see when there's a public holiday so that they can claim holiday leave and get the day off without having to take normal leave, no?"
Connor chuckled, "True, but unfortunately, that plan is flawed since you chose a fellowship in CT. With such a high-profile speciality, it's the attendings that get their bank holiday off, while their fellows get to 'practice'…"
"Ah well, next year when I'm an attending, I'll get the day off when I want it, then" she sighed dejectedly. Her shoulders drooped as if she were finally coming to terms with having to work today. She reached for a towel and started to pat her arms dry.
He quickly copied her, humming in agreement to her response. Since there was the opening, he could casually ask, "So, are you looking for attending positions elsewhere already?"
He'd been burning to ask her that for a while now; both afraid and so curious of her reply. Would they be parting ways soon? Or was she looking into staying at Gaffney for now?
Ava immediately shook her head, "No, I mean, yes, I have applied at a couple of places. But if Dr Latham offers me a permanent contract here, then I'll definitely take it."
Her fervent reply took him by surprise, although deep down he felt so relieved. He wasn't planning on leaving Gaffney and didn't want her to, either. Which was stupid; as much as he liked her and was attracted to her, he had blown any chances of them ever getting together properly. Still, if she moved away, there would definitely never be a second chance. Definitely.
"Not even if Mayo Clinic wants you?" he asked, trying hard to cover his hopefulness with nonchalance.
She finally looked up properly and smiled, "Not even if Mayo Clinic wants me."
"Why the hell not?"
She shrugged, "Many reasons. Primarily because I've just settled down. For the first time in wow… 6 years, I'm settled. Here, in Chicago! Who would've thought that! Anyways, I don't have the will nor the energy to uproot everything again."
Connor continued to pry; "6 years? I mean, yeah, I get this past year; you've moved from South Africa to Chicago… But what about the 5 years before that?"
Her eyes glazed over in a flashback. Eventually, she admitted "Finishing my residency was… challenging. I met many obstacles and had to move a few times in South Africa. Actually, the move to Chicago was my 5th move in these past 6 years."
"Oh, wow!" he said, both impressed and intrigued. He'd never stopped to think what her life looked like before he met her. Still, he would have never guessed that she'd moved around so much already.
She gave him a mysterious smile and turned away to throw the towel into the bin. He didn't miss how that smile lasted as they walked out of the scrub room together, as if there were something that she wasn't telling him.
But before he could continue digging and see if she would tell him about her 4 internal moves, their pagers started beeping simultaneously.
Her head snapped right back up to meet his gaze, worry mirrored in each other's eyes. Had their patient thrown a complication again, already?
They both broke the gaze and reached for their respective phones in their pockets.
911 to ED - mass shooting at millennial park – disaster plan triggered, all hands on deck NOW!
His heart sank and he stopped his stride towards their lounge. Out of the corner of his eye, he was aware of Ava halting too, staring dumbfounded at her own phone.
A mass shooting? At millennial park? On a bank holiday? Oh, hell! There were going to be tons of victims rolling in.
Connor glanced at Ava, dismayed. He found her still staring at her phone.
"A mass shooting at millennial park?" he feebly managed.
Then, he noticed that her face was devoid of any colour and she looked as if she'd seen a ghost.
"I... I'd have gone there today if I'd gotten the holiday leave" she whispered, slowly looking up.
Her words made his blood run cold. What?
"I had made plans to go there…" she added, breath hitching and a violent shiver visually racking through her.
No! Had she really been so close to being out there in danger? Connor had a sudden image flashing through his brain, one of a limp, intubated Ava being wheeled into the ED, blood gushing from a bullet wound to her chest. The monitors showed her pressure bottoming out and before he could try save her, try get the EKG not to show that ugly flatline anymore, another doctor reminded him that disaster plan meant 'mass casualty protocol'. Disaster plan meant that only those with a shot were to be resuscitated.
Before he could drown in that petrifying what-if scenario and before her ragged breathing morphed into a panic attack, Connor shuffled closer to her, placed both of his hands on her shoulder and instructed "Hey, breathe, Ava, breathe."
She obeyed and sucked in a couple of huge, deep breaths, their gazes locked. It felt good, holding onto her like that. There, she's right here, right next to you, not in the ED on some stretcher, a voice in his head gratefully whispered.
He continued, "Very good. Now, listen to me, I know that that thought is terrifying, heck I am so very glad we're still fellows and you didn't get the day off..."
That won him a tiny smile.
"…But you can't lose yourself to it. You're safe, and there's gonna be many people that need our full, undivided attention that need our help and us save them, ok?"
"Ok" she nodded, relaxing slightly beneath his hands as his words seemed to sink in.
Satisfied, Connor gave her shoulders a squeeze and let go of her.
"Let's go to the ED, then" she said, inhaling deeply to prepare herself for what was coming.
"Let's go" Connor agreed.
The pair smiled sadly at each other, then hurried towards the lift.
As they strode, well, almost jogged, towards the lift in silence, Connor had to force himself not to think about Ava being injured. She was right there, next to him. He could hear her breathing and light footsteps on the ground.
They reached the lift, doors already open, and stood inside side-by-side. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her again, to make sure she really was there, even though he'd just had his hands on her shoulders. He fought the urge.
When the doors opened two floors down, utter chaos greeted them. They froze for what felt like an hour, but probably was just few seconds.
In those seconds, Connor's eyes swept the entire ED. Fragments of scenes stuck with him, such as myriad patients being wheeled in from everywhere, the bloody footprints and used gloves littering the floor, nurses sprinting about with pockets bulging with vials of medication, deceased patients covered with a white sheet being unceremoniously deposited into an empty room and patients being treated all over the place; from the nurses' station counter to the trauma rooms to the corridors.
He also noted Choi aggressively giving compressions, Will trying and failing to control a bleeding and Manning frantically trying to intubate someone.
"Maggie, Owen and his nanny may have gone to the park today. Can you…" He heard the mum call out to the nurse as she finally managed to get the tube in and start to manually bag him.
"… try reach her? Of course." was Maggie's reply.
He shivered at that; Natalie didn't know if her own son was safe? Connor was half-surprised that she hadn't run off home to search for him, make sure he was there. On the one hand, it didn't make sense to do so, to assume the worst had happened. Panicking wouldn't do her good; it wouldn't help her, her son nor the patients that were relying on all of them. On the other hand, if he had a kid that might be in danger, Connor wasn't sure he would be able to function the way Natalie was. She was a very dedicated doctor, he decided; it took strength not to succumb to such a serious possibility.
Doctor Stohl's loud shouting drew his attention away from Natalie.
"This is mass casualty protocol, people. No chance of recovery, no resuscitation! Stop your efforts, Dr Choi, and move on to the next patient now!"
Choi gruntingly stepped away and announced time of death. The sound of the flatline on the monitor rang through to Connor, and it all hit a little too close to home; it mirrored too closely the vision he'd had of Ava. She might have really been one of these blood-soaked patients amongst the carnage. It might have been her body being roughly disposed of on top of others until the living patients were stabilised and the dead could be properly stowed in the morgue.
"Oh my God. Where do we begin?" Ava asked him weakly after digesting the sight herself, drawing him out of his dark thoughts.
He spared her a glance but didn't know the answer. Before improvising, Maggie passed them; Connor called, "Hey Mags, we need to prioritise surgical candidates. Where are they?"
Not even slowing her stride, the nurse waved a hand and said, "Everywhere!"
Connor turned to Ava, who was staring ahead at the onslaught of injured patients, looking shaken to the core. He opened his mouth to tell her he had no idea who needed them the most. She looked shaken to the core, just like he felt.
"Rhodes, I could use a hand!" Choi shouted, interrupting him before he even started to formulate that in words. Choi was already busy with a new patient.
"Alright, start in the treatment rooms, I'll meet you on the other side" Connor decided. Before heading to Choi, he finally gave in to the urge to touch her and allowed the tips of his fingers to graze her shoulder briefly, making sure she was really there and whole.
He caught a glimpse of her alert eyes and a fleeting nod before they parted ways.
This was going to be a long day, wasn't it?
