Part 2

(I've changed the tense of this, don't know why, just started to write it like this!)

When I awoke I realised straight away that I was in Resus. I finally knew how my patients felt. Disorientated, blurred vision and blinded by the bright lights. It wasn't pleasant and I was scared and aware that I ached badly all over and hot salty tears rained down my cheeks. Ok I wasn't just scared-I was terrified. I was also embarrassed that my colleagues would see my cry, crying was something I never did in front of other people, I never let my guard down.

"Ruth? Ruth it's alright, you're going to be fine." I recognised the calm, soothing voice of Nick Jordan. He was soon beside me, squeezing my arm. To the average patient this would have been of great reassurance-but it wasn't for me. After months of working with him I knew his facial expressions, his mannerisms and his tone. I could tell that he was worried.

"What's wrong with me?" I managed to croak out, conscious that my throat my desperately dry, probably from all the alcohol consumed earlier in the evening.

"You have an epidural hematoma caused by trauma to the head. But the fact that you're conscious now is a good sign as I'm sure you know. Less seriously, you've also managed to fracture your left patella and you'll be a bit sore as you're covered in bruises. Right now we need to get you up to surgery to relieve the swelling on your brain."

The thought of being laid up for up to 8 weeks with a broken knee made the tears well up again. 8 weeks at the very least off work, I could hardly hobble around the ED. Then I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"What about Jay?" I said hoarsely. I felt myself beginning to panic and tried to sit up only to be gently but firmly pushed back down by Nick.

"Jay is all right Ruth. Minor facial lacerations, you are much worse off. He's being stitched up now but you can see him before you go up to surgery." Adam smiled at me, just like Nick he was completely calm but I saw behind the façade,

As if on cue, Jay strolled casually into Resus. His face had been cleaned up but he was pale and shaking still. His clothes were all bloody and in short he looked a mess.

"Oh my God, you're awake," Jay blurted out. His eyes were suspiciously red and I was startled to see that he had been crying. I had never really thought of him of being emotional or sensitive as all I had ever seen was the jokey, flirtatious and somewhat annoying side of him. It was a shock to see this very different side to him.

"Right, surgery wants you up ASAP. Nurse Faldren, you can come up with us."

The journey up to theatre was quick. Jay and I didn't say much but he held my hand tightly, almost as if he were too afraid to let go. He softly kissed my cheek and the anaesthesia took its effect, the sharp jab of the IV in my hand followed by merciful oblivion.