Disclaimer: If I owned the characters, I would be doing one of two things: swimming in my cash or spending lots of it on those stupid infomercial. (Because sometimes they can convince me...)
I know this is very late in coming, so I have a proposition for you all. I was thinking about setting up a blog for my fanfiction so that I could just tell you all on there because I kept thinking about getting on to give you author's notes and then thinking it was a waste. You guys really don't need my excuses, you need me to write! Ha ha. So, in your review, send some feedback on that idea.
This is definitely not my best because this story, while I have like the last fifteen chapters written...the first one took four rewrites and two editors. I would love criticism on it!
So, I'm moving out of the way! Have fun!
Day One: Love Has Steps…
"No, no, no!" I shake my head as I slam the palm of my hand against my desk. I have to keep telling myself that I will not kill him. I have to keep reminding myself that the pounding headache is not caused by him but the questionable last shot I took at the bar last night. I also have to keep reminding myself that I am the one who said that I did not want to be paid for any of this. "You can never assume that two women are the same! And for the love of God, where did you learn your pick up lines?" Maybe it's just that Alice came to wake me up at six o'clock this morning, but it seems that every word that comes out of Edward Cullen's mouth, no matter how beautiful, kills me a little bit.
"Well, what do you want me to say? Do you think that I really would use a line on a woman?"
"YES!" I almost screech at him. I take a deep breath realizing that it is only eight-thirty and that I really have gone off the deep end. I begin pacing around my black and white art deco office, wondering why he can't be like normal guys and just be a pig.
Note to self, I am never going to suggest role-playing as the first step to repairing or getting a relationship ever again.
I sigh. "Ok…Let me explain it to you." Slowly, I think. As childishly as possible. "The kind of girl I see you with wants you to come up, say 'hello', maybe buy them a drink…and then do nothing else! Get her number only if she offers it. Do not do anything that suggests you are even remotely desperate…even though I really don't foresee that happening ever. You want a quality relationship, not a one night stand…even though the kind of girl I see you with probably expects that and nothing more."
I suddenly realize nothing that came out of my mouth made sense and shake my head weakly.
"Did you get any of that?" I murmur, without much hope.
He seems just as annoyed by me as I am by him. "All I get out of that is you can only imagine any woman remotely attracted to me as a tramp."
I grimace. I don't think I said it in so many words…
"I'm sorry," I say, tiredly. "I'm just having a very hard time understanding how you never figured out how to get a girl to like you! What did you do in college? Attract them on a looks basis only?"
I see his crooked smile playing across his lips. "More or less."
I give him another exasperated sigh. "You really are a piece of work!"
"I believe I told you the same thing last night."
At this I pause. "Touchee…" I mutter. "Now why did you never tell me you were a smart alek?"
He stands up. "How are you going to help me if we can't even be in the same room without fighting?"
I take a step forward. "You know, you have unearthed one more problem I have to solve today and that is why you don't show your true self to women."
He raises an eyebrow. "I don't follow."
"I mean," I explain again, softly, "You were so lovely, gentlemanly last night. Now I learn you are terribly quick tongued and horribly frustrated too early in a conversation." When it becomes clear to me that he is not going to speak, I sit down in my leather chair. "I have something easier to do…what do you look for in a woman?"
I don't know if he's going to sit down again or not and, when he begins pacing, I almost think that he's going to leave the room. His voice startles me to some extent. "She needs to be smart, very quick on her feet…in a way, fiery…" I begin to jot down a few other choice terms on the pad of paper in front of me without listening to much of what he's actually saying. I mentally catalogue anyone I know who fits that description and come up blank. I draw doodles, vaguely listening. Just as I am coming to the conclusion that he is looking for the perfect Czech supermodel, I hear his last words. "A lot like my ex-girlfriend."
I stop short. "What?"
"I want someone who is a lot like my ex-girlfriend," he says.
I take a deep breath. "Did you love her?"
"She's a start."
I smirk. "But you didn't answer the question: did you love her?"
I notice that even he has to think about that. "Yes, I did."
"Common misconception: You want to love some BODY…what did you like about her intellectually?" I begin, knowing that this could take me days.
"She had the ability to draw anyone into a conversation, to make them interested."
"And?" Before he can open his mouth, I hear my cell phone buzz. "Hold on. Sorry! Normally I wouldn't answer, but it is Saturday and there are maybe two people in the world who know that I'm working right now." I shrug my apologies with an innocent face and then look at the text message.
Your truck is fixed. Alice told me you had to go into work today. Sorry. –Jacob
I shake my head. Only Jacob Black would interrupt me at work.
Thanks for fixing the truck so quickly. I'm sorry that it broke again. At work right now. May not answer texts immediately.
I throw the phone on the corner of my desk. Edward raises an eyebrow as it rings again before I can even open my mouth. "Do we need to cut this meeting short?"
I shake my head and pick up the phone again. "I don't think he understands the concept of 'working'," I say by way of apology.
Race tonight. 7 o'clock? Meet you at the track.
And he still doesn't understand that I don't speak car and driver. I decide to type a response that won't be committal, but will not let him down too terribly.
I'll try. May have to work late. Patient is kind of psycho.
I switch my ringer off. "Anyhow…Why don't you give your ex a call?" I suggest. "It would actually give me some idea of where we need to start working if I saw the two of you together…Maybe ask her out tonight…I have VIP status at a couple of restaurants here. I'm sure they wouldn't mind…"
Edward stops my daydream plots. "She did break up with me yesterday. You do understand that concept, yes?"
I blow my hair out of my face. "Yeah, I get that, but, I mean, if she really liked you, why wouldn't she give you the chance to make amends?" I smile, pulling my striped tunic sweater's hem in nervous fascination at the way he is studying me. I feel like a sixteen year old all over again. I shake that feeling, but I only move on to pulling at the seams on my jeans.
He looks at me incredulously. "You do realize it isn't even nine o'clock on a Saturday, don't you?"
That gives me pause. "Oh," I glance at the clock before sinking back in my chair. "Well, since I have determined you are completely adept on a date, I'm not really sure what's left for me to do today except wait around for you to get up the nerve to call your girlfriend…" My stomach growls shortly after I finish my sentence. I see him smirk. I smile, unnerved. "Have you had breakfast?"
And so, I ended up on a short walk from my office to a bagel shop, complete with scarf and grey newsboy cap to shield me against the abnormally cold September first. All the while, I am rambling because I can't stand his silence. If I'm in solitude, silence is beautiful. If I'm with someone else, I feel a little unnerved if they aren't speaking to me.
"You have to try at least one of these bagels. They are amazing. They have this one bagel that is apple flavored. It's to die for," I say, knowing I am only talking out of nervous energy and my six o'clock coffee.
Edward must find me amusing. "I've already eaten, but I see no point in you going hungry."
I almost stop short. "See? You can be very tame without being condescending," I say with a smile on my face. I feel like it is far too playful for the situation, so I stop smiling almost immediately. "Treat this as a pretend date. I'll coach you through it a little…It could be 'helpful'." I feel like my suggestion is probably lost.
He laughs at me. "Nice concept, but I've never had a 'date' at nine o'clock in the morning."
I shrug. "First time for everything?" I suggest as I grab the door handle to the coffeehouse styled shop. "Come on. Humor me."
He rolls his eyes and takes the door from me. "I'm sure I will soon be doing a lot of that. I feel like you came up with all of this to torture me."
I shake my head and unwind my scarf from my neck. "No, but that has crossed my mind…" I mutter it as soon as I know that the girl behind the counter is going to take my order. As soon as they hand me the aluminum foil wrapped bagel, I reach for my wallet, but Edward has already handed the cashier cash. I give him a confused look as I fumble with the bottle of iced tea I am carrying.
"What?" He looks at me with mock awe. "It is a date, isn't it?" His smile is too dazzling to argue with and I mutter something about paying him back before going to sit at one of the tables outside.
As I unwrap my bagel, I begin talking, trying to quell the awkwardness of being here with him. "So," I begin, "If this was a date, what would you be saying right now?"
"Well," he begins. "This being a hypothetical date, I would compliment you, tell you how beautiful your eyes are and tell you that your hat is covering them too much for my liking…hypothetically, of course." His smile tops off the speech and I think I must be blushing because I feel my cheeks burning, so I find an excuse to look down.
When I finally get the nerve, I look up at him through my lashes. "That's a start." When I see that he isn't going to respond, I decide to lecture a little. "You see, here's something most people don't understand. Love has steps. That's how you know it's love."
Edward raises an eyebrow. I see his crooked, tight lipped smile. "So, no love at first sight for Ms. Bella Swan?"
I shake my head. "No such thing," I murmur. I don't mention that the first time I saw him I decided that I would marry him. That's not love, that's being twelve years old. "It's like when people say they fell in love with their one night's stand. It's not love, it's lust. That's the first step of love, but it never goes past that for most people."
Edward leans his arm against the table. "And this is something you've experienced quite often?"
I stammer, "N-no!" I feel appalled. I was not going to admit that I really had no idea what I was talking about where personal experience was concerned. "You are the biggest smart alek I've ever met!"
He laughs. "I'm only kidding, Bella. But you seem to know about a lot of things that you've 'never experienced'." He smiles by way of a second apology, or possibly just to egg me on.
I open my mouth to talk and end up looking at my bagel. "I'm a relationship therapist. I see all of it often enough. I know what you're thinking, six years of college to study psycho-therapy and I choose the most mundane form…and I still see the same sick, twisted people. I see problems that I can fix and problems that I just have to stumble through with the couples. That and I've read up on the subject and I've been on enough horrible dates to know that no matter how good a person looks, there is no such thing as love at first sight."
After a rather long, awkward pause in which I chew over most of my bagel, it seems like I found the reason he can't keep a girl. After studying him, he not only looks like a Grecian god, but he has the air of one. He's silent, brooding, looking around as if he might cause injury to the first person to so much as look at him. He makes a woman his property without meaning to, like some fairytale knight protecting a charge. He makes other people afraid and the air for some women is probably too oppressive. I sigh between bites and drink my iced tea, waiting…
He decides to change the subject after a length of time that would probably have made most people more unnerved than I was and less better people would have been reduced to tears. "So…lust?"
I raise an eyebrow. "That's the first step. There is also compromise and then commitment. I believe that you thought you and your ex had been through the first two steps." I glance at my phone to see that an hour has already passed and Jacob has left me innumerable text messages. "Do you have to go in at the hospital today?"
He smirks. "Avoiding confrontation?" I don't bother to shake my head because he continues. "I'm due in at noon today. I'll work until about eight unless they need someone to cover the night shift and then I'll work until around four in the morning. And my view on the world is much more obscured than yours, it would seem."
I open my mouth, thinking over his question, but end up biting my lip in confusion. "How so?" I don't understand what he's trying to get at. I actually feel quite defensive. I'm the therapist. I should know better than he what is going on in his own life and just how twisted his view of the world is.
He looks me square in the face. "I don't see myself as a romantic, but I see you as a cynic. You don't believe that love can be instantaneous. While I don't disagree with you, I believe that if two people were meant to be together that nothing is going to stop them."
I'm about to question him when I hear something very near to me beeping. I look up and he is checking a pager. I know he's about to rush away, a little too conveniently. Yes, I've been in the ER enough times that I can identify the brand and make of the pagers all of the doctors wear. While I'm not upset, I do feel disappointment sinking into my mind, corrupting me. I was bored was all that it boiled down to.
"I believe that's my cue. My guess is someone didn't show up for their shift." His look is apologetic. "I'm sorry to cut our 'date' short…but if you have any homework for me…?"
Even though his look is humorous and my answering look is probably less composed than it should be, I reply, "Talk to your ex…"
"Tanya," he corrects me. "If we're going to be talking about her, you might as well have a name."
"Yes," I say, a bit too smugly, thinking something along the lines of so she is a Czech model. "Talk to Tanya. Set up a date with her for tomorrow night."
Edward nods, though the air with which he does so makes me feel like an oppressive overlord. "Then, per your orders, I shall attempt to talk to her."
I make note of the word 'attempt'. "How about another breakfast date tomorrow, then?"
Edward already seems far detached, so his answering 'yes' to me as he walks away is a pretty assured 'no'.
When I lay down that night to sleep, I can't shake the feeling that I've forgotten something. And, sure enough, I wake up to my phone reading two texts. One clearly stating that I let down Jacob Black-again-and the other one is pretty self explanatory, even though it's from an unknown number.
Breakfast tomorrow. I'll see you at your office.
Like it? Hate it? Review! Reviews will now CONSISTENTLY give you quotes since the last time computer issues prevented all of that...Got that problem take care of! I promise! (I sound like a peppy fangirl tonight! I'm so sorry!)
