Chapter 2
Morning came and Kahlan requested toast. Richard couldn't make it happen fast enough; he rang for the staff and gave them instructions to bring breakfast for them both. They had the food to them in record time.
He set the tray on the bed and had her sit up. He pushed her forward and snuck in between her body and the headboard, leaning her against his chest, his legs cradling her between them. He had to stretch but he caught the edge of the platter of food and pulled it over. When she went to grab some, he stopped her and instead picked up the dry toast she'd been angling for.
He broke off small bits of the charred bread and fed them to her. Her lips grazed his fingers as she took the pieces from him, chewing slowly and swallowing. He only allowed her to eat small portions before offering her water to wash it down with. He knew her stomach wouldn't be able to handle much yet; she'd gone too long without much food and he didn't want her to get sick.
After they finished breakfast, Richard placed the plates outside the door and detoured on his way back to her to draw a bath. She was dirty and smelly. She hadn't been washed in too long and her hair was greasy and her skin grimy with dried sweat. He tossed in some lavender leaves and rose petals, then went out to gather Kahlan.
Gently, he tugged her nightdress off her and removed her underwear before stripping his pants off. He hoisted her into his arms and carried her to the bathroom. He stepped into the tub and lowered her down to stand before letting them both sink into the water. He used his foot to turn off the spigot then grabbed the soap and began washing her.
He started with her hair, asking her with light pressure to dunk her head. Then he went to work scrubbing her locks, massaging her scalp and getting all the dirt and grease out of her long, dark tresses. When he was finished, he helped her rinse her hair and ring it out, then grabbed her clip that she kept next to the bath and put her hair up to keep it out of the water and let it dry.
Richard used the bar of soap to clean her skin. He rubbed a lather over her shoulders and chest, then let the soap float and used his hands to massage it against her flesh. He worked her stiff, sore muscles in her neck and upper back. She'd been in the same positions for too long and he could feel the knots leaving her body as he worked his fingers and palms against her. Next, he cleaned her breasts and belly. Taking his time, he cupped her and held her in his hands. He kissed her neck and told her she was beautiful. He didn't try to lead her anywhere, knowing that her body couldn't' handle his yet, but he wanted her to feel loved.
His hands snaked between her thighs, raking through her curls as he washed her sex. She lifted one leg to grant him access and he heard her moan. He smiled at her enjoying the feel of his hands on her, but he continued the chaste touching. Her legs and feet were last to be washed. He paid special attention to the backs of her knees before smoothing the soap over her calf muscles.
"Do you feel better?" His mouth was right next to her ear, his nose tickling her neck.
"A little." Kahlan turned onto her side and snuggled into his body. She put one arm around him and hugged her head to his chest. She let her ear rest over his heart and just listened to the steady pitter-patter. His hands caressed her arm and back in a soothing rhythm. "I miss her."
"Me too." He squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. Her arms holding him in return were helping him start to heal. He needed comfort too. "Thank you for coming back to me."
"What if…" She choked out a sob before wrangling the control back in. "What if I can't have a baby?"
"It's okay, Kahlan."
"No, Richard." She kneeled between his legs and faced him. Her hands cupped his face. "I'm the only Confessor. I have to continue the line. I can't fail."
"You're going to be fine. Zedd said-"
"What does Zedd know?" Her anger at herself was bubbling over and her voice was escalating.
"He checked you over and said that you were going to be okay." Richard's palm held her cheek, his thumb brushing the tears away.
"He doesn't know. What if I can't? We need someone who's an expert in this area. I need to know what's wrong with me." She climbed onto him moving his legs between hers and laying her body onto his, breast to chest, belly to abs, sex to manhood. They always lined up so perfectly and she sighed as she let herself melt into him.
"Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing."
"I need to know if I can have children or not. If I can't… if for some reason we can't then-"
"Shhhh. Kahlan, there isn't any reason to fret about it. We will get an expert to check, okay?" He felt her nod against his chest. "We'll see what they say and then we'll think about the what ifs." Richard stroked her back and felt the wrinkles on his fingertips. "Right now, we are starting to get old sitting in this water. Let's dry off and go for a stroll in the gardens, you could use the fresh air and sunshine."
"People will stare at me… I don't…"
"I'll make sure the coast is clear first. But I need you to get out of the room with me."
"Okay."
Richard raised them both up and out of the bath. He let her stand while he dried her off and then wrapped her in her robe before drying himself off. He ushered her out of the room and he put pants on before digging out a simple dress for her, one that required no corset. Avoiding any pressure around her belly was his goal, as well as making her comfortable and not feeling restricted.
The flowy, purple one he pulled out seemed to be perfect - the dress would show off her legs and breasts while not making her feel exposed, and he would get to enjoy the view of her skin in the sun. He helped her put the dress on and then grabbed her simple shoes to slip on her feet. He quickly put on his sandals before hooking his elbow under her arm and leading her outside to the garden.
"Remember when we first met?"
"How could I forget? You foolishly put yourself between me and a quad of D'harans." Kahlan leaned her head on his shoulder; just remembering that day made her heart feel lighter. "You saved me."
"Foolish?" Richard chuckled, "I'm not foolish!"
"You were, they knocked you right down." They strolled through the trees and shrubs letting their skins soak in the soft light of the midday sun. The temperature was warm, but not overwhelming, perfect for a short jaunt. "I'm glad that you risked it. I think I loved you, a little, right then. No one else would willingly do that for me."
"Of course they would, you're the Mother Confessor!" Richard gave her a look like she was insane for thinking such thoughts.
"Ah yes, they would for the Mother Confessor, but not for the woman." She looked into his eyes as he understood the difference. "No one would have done it just because I'm Kahlan, because they thought that I was worth saving. If not for my title I'd lose a lot."
"You'll never lose me."
"Won't I?" Kahlan's eyes pooled with tears, but they remained unshed.
"When I first saw you…" Richard stopped them and turned her to face him. "You were racing through the woods, dodging trees, sweat dripping down your body. You were dirty, exhausted and in danger. Do you know what I thought?"
Her head shook and she looked at the ground. The day that she met Richard was one of the best moments of her life - it had changed her in ways she'd never thought possible. Now they'd reached a turning point, one that could tear them apart or cement them together, filling in the tiny cracks of their separate existence. His thumb gripped her chin and forced her to look at him.
"I thought, 'I could love that woman.' I don't know what it was about you. All I did was catch a glimpse and my heart sped up, I had to know you." His forehead pressed against hers, their eyes still locked to each other's. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"What if we can't have children together, Richard?"
"Then we can't have children. I'll still love you. I'll still want to spend forever trying to make you happy." He pulled her into a hug, not wanting the bear the look of despair that had entered her eyes.
"The line of Confessors must be continued."
"Kahlan… if you…" She pulled free from his arms and walked a short distance away before turning to look at him.
"What if it's you?" She'd never hated herself more. The look that befell him made her heart sink to her toes. He'd never considered it, she knew from his reaction. "I'd be bound by the code of Aydindril, my duty as a confessor, the Mother Confessor, to take a mate. To bear his children."
He didn't hesitate.
"I'll never stop loving you." He wanted to go to her, but instead he paced away. She seemed to need her space, so he'd let her come back to him when she was ready. "It would be impossible."
"You'd stay with me? Even when another was touching me, making love-"
"No one else can ever make love to you, not the way I can." A surge of jealous rage overtook him and he growled loudly. "They'd be enslaved with your love. It frees me. Do not call it love making, it's just procreating, sex, never love. That I couldn't bear. You loving another would kill me. You would be kinder to stab me with your dagger, then to refer to the act as making love."
"I'd understand if you left me."
"Damn you, Kahlan." He closed the gap between them, even though he'd sworn that he wouldn't. His mouth covered hers as his arms pulled her flush against him. His tongue entered her mouth and teased her into kissing him back. He sucked on her lips and tongue, devouring her until his lungs demanded oxygen. "I can't leave you. Even seeing you with someone else is better than not seeing you at all."
"I love you more than anything, Richard. I just want you to know that. No matter what happens, I'll never stop. No duty, no man, no awful circumstances will ever change my feelings for you. They are part of who I am. If I have to take another, part of me will die. I'll need you more than ever."
He felt her body begin to tremble in his arms. Her hands clawed at his back trying to pull him closer as the sobs began. Richard knew that saying this was hurting her as much as it hurt him. He prayed to the spirits that the healer that was being called in would have good news for them both. He also sent up a silent plea that his seed was fertile and compatible with her. The truth of it was exactly as he'd told her, he'd never leave her and always love her, but watching her with another, knowing that someone else was inside her, trying to pleasure her, filling her with their seed. He felt sick.
"I love you too. This will only make our love stronger." He tangled his fingers in her hair and held her cheek to his neck, not letting an inch of daylight sneak between their bodies.
"I hope you're right, Richard, I hope you're right."
