Curiosity Killed The Cook
by Kaline Reine

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of the characters/settings. This is just a fanfiction story.

WARNINGS: This story contains (or may contain) graphic adult content and language, explicit sex scenes, yaoi, possible non-con or dubcon, violence, gore, cursing, adult themes, etc. I do not censor my writing, but I do my best to warn people about the subject matter and potential subject matter. So if you don't like that kind of thing or can't handle it, then I suggest not reading this story. You have been warned. Also, I know this doesn't follow canon but it doesn't have to, that's why it's a fanfic. xD


Chapter 2:

Before the two could continue their lovely little tryst, Sanji felt Zoro freeze in place. All of his muscles went tense. He'd ceased what he had been doing, and the cook responded with an annoyed growl. There was no time for either of them to process it, however, because he looked over one shoulder to see the obvious reason for the swordsman's lack of movement.

They weren't alone.

There, just on the other side of the deck, not even twenty feet away from them, stood Usopp. Their crew mate chuckled lightly, scratching the back of his head. For a long moment, no one said anything at all.

"Ahem..." Zoro cleared his throat, catching both of their attention immediately. Unfortunately, it also drew notice to the fact that his face was undeniably deep red. "Do you mind?"

The sniper only continued to gawk, his jaw fallen and mouth agape. He could not believe what he was seeing.

"Got a problem, longnose?!" Sanji yelled, jerking back and lighting a cigarette with shaky hands in an attempt to calm his nerves.

He stood, trying to figure out how he could play this off somehow. He wasn't sure how long their crewmate had been there or just how much he'd seen... But it had definitely killed the mood. The cook almost whined at the sudden loss of the warm body that had just been pressed against his own. It had felt too good to break the contact now. He wasn't satisfied yet and he was fairly certain Zoro wasn't either.

'Damn, am I becoming that needy already?' He wondered, disgusted with himself.

"N-no...?" The sniper took a single step back. "No problem, I'll just-" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, laughing.

The three of them were at a stalemate, it seemed... The pair of bitter rivals had just done something shameless that terrified both of them and he had just walked in on something that he never hoped to see. The pair hated each other, right? It was definitely confusing. And to make things that much worse, it was two of the strongest Pirates he had ever come across. Mostly, Usopp was merely thankful that they were on his side. Now it appeared they were at odds, however. There's no way they would trust him with this kind of information and let him live to tell the tale. He was a smooth talker, and a good liar maybe, but there's no way he would manage to keep something like this to himself. It was too weird and far too interesting.

"I mean, I never knew the two of you were-"

"We're not!" The cook snapped, obviously irritated as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"If you say one word..." Zoro growled, knowing he was screwed. No one would ever take him seriously again. Not after this. Not even Sanji would let him live this down...

"Ah, what are we even worried about?" Sanji took a deep, regretful drag from his recently lit cigarette before continuing. "Who's going to believe a liar anyway?"

"I... I never said I'd tell anyone!" Usopp backed away a little more, getting ready to turn tail and run for it. "Your secret is safe with me. Like you said, no one would believe it anyway, c-coming from me and all... So you really have nothing to worry about. I'll just be going now so-"

"Not so fast," Zoro was now on his feet, one hand drawing a sword. "If you so much as mention this to anyone, I swear I'll strike you down where you stand. Got it?"

Usopp stared down the sword that was currently pointed directly at his forehead, scratching at the spot between his eyes. "G-got it..." He gulped. "I'm out of here, I saw nothing! Not a damn thing!" He called to them over one shoulder, without stopping.

The sniper had taken off running before either of them could do anything about it. Now they were alone again. A long and awkward silence filled the gap between them. Sanji felt that it was too big... The silence that lingered now was stifling. Zoro seemed to shrug it off, going back to his usual place, but only leaning against the wall. He didn't sit back down. It caused the blonde to look at him distrustfully, unsure of what he was going to do next.

Sanji was gazing at him from behind a curtain of his soft blonde fringe, trying to think straight. He was kind of bummed out because it didn't last as long as he'd wanted it to, although he would never openly admit that to the swordsman. No way. And he wouldn't ask for more, either. Even if he wanted it. Even if it was the only thing currently occupying his mind. Even if-

'What the fuck is wrong with me?' He wondered, taking another puff from his cigarette. 'Why do I want to-'

"Oi." Zoro looked up at him, eyes suddenly serious.

He paused, closing his eyes to steel himself. "What?" Now was not the time to show any weakness. Not if he wanted to live this down.

"We're never going to get any privacy with these morons running around here all the time."

There was another pause.

"Who ever said I would want privacy with a mosshead like you?" He replied carefully, still side eyeing him. While there was an insult there, he hadn't said it with his usual venom.

'God, those muscles... And the way he's looking at me...' The cook forced himself to stop. 'No. I can't think about him that way. Not after just-'

"Well," His thoughts were interrupted when the swordsman closed the distance between them in a flash, cornering him against the mast. "I didn't hear you complaining a few minutes ago..."

There was less than half an inch between them, and their faces were even closer. Sanji was all too aware of the bulge that juuust threatened to press against his own. If he had moved his face even slightly, even a fraction of an inch, their lips would be touching. He did not fail to notice the way the marimo was gazing at him either, like a starving man eyeing a full course meal. He looked as if he wanted to eat him alive.

"What makes you think you can- Mmph!"

He was cut off again, by yet another insistent kiss. He found himself being pinned against the large mast that was behind him, the hard wood contrasting against the softness of the tempting body in front of him.

'Apparently the marimo does want to continue this... This... Whatever this is between us.'

Unsure of how he wanted to respond, Sanji hesitantly returned the force that was currently being applied to his mouth. An eager tongue snaked across his lips, toying with him, taunting him. He returned the gesture, opening himself to the sexy swordsman. There wasn't enough time to think and he could only give in to his carnal desires. He felt the other move against him, strong hands tangling into blonde hair and pulling a bit, forcing him to tilt his head back.

"Mmmmh..." A moan escaped his throat, against his will.

That only seemed to spur Zoro on, because he was really getting into it. Sanji's mind could only reel at how forceful his kiss was, the man's tongue delving deep down his throat, almost choking him as it squeezed past his own, slipping and sliding around hotly.

Hands were everywhere. Sanji slid one hand up the other man's torso, feeling those hard defined muscles tense everywhere he touched. A strong arm wrapped around his own back, holding him even closer, if that were possible. The swordsman's calloused hand reached lower downward, caressing the cook's ass, letting it fill his open palm as his fingers dipped below the waistband of his pants. Sanji moved a little and was rewarded with a dark groan from Zoro, as his hips shifted forward of their own accord. He'd been trying to escape the groping hand, but hadn't thought it all the way through.

"Ahh..." Zoro broke their kiss to let out a small sigh. It was a faint sound, but the fact that he had such control over the other man was a massive turn on. "You're so..."

Unable to finish his sentence, whatever it was, their mouths clashed together again, teeth almost clacking together in their urgency... Tongues entwining and rolling into each other's mouths... Bodies pressing together with such need.

Sanji could feel his self-control snapping like a twig. He tried to resist the urge to grind against him further, but his hips moved of their own accord. He felt that there were too many clothes in the way. Yes, far too many... Being scraped to death by his zipper was not something he wanted to feel at the moment. His hands flew to his fly, working the fabric off of his hips.

Just as he was beginning to undress, Zoro pulled back. He only stared at him, but there were so many emotions hidden in those dark eyes... Shining down at him like twin evil emeralds.

"What?" The chef managed, breathlessly. The single syllable had come out far more defensive than he'd originally intended. He didn't want to seem this vulnerable, especially not to his rival.

He realized that he probably would have fallen over if not for Zoro's arms holding him up. There was a moment that passed between them, and he'd never felt so weak in the knees before. It was Sanji who finally broke their locked gazes. It was like he couldn't find the strength to face him anymore. He stared down instead, catching a glimpse of the large bulge that stood out from Zoro's frame. His face went even darker red, and he was forced to meet his gaze again.

"You know someone's going to interrupt us any minute, right?"

The words that he dreaded to hear... Whatever was happening, and whatever this strange thing between them now was, Sanji did not want it to end. He got the sense that Zoro might not either, but his expressionless face revealed nothing.

'He's so hard to read...'

"So what then? We part ways and go back to the way things were before?"

"Nothing's changed, shit cook." His face hardened further, his eyes becoming cold once more. "I'm suggesting that..." He trailed off, stopping himself.

"What is it?" Sanji resisted the urge to shove him away and light a cigarette. His fingers twitched for one, missing that small bit of comfort. "You know what? I'm impatient. I'll take matters into my own hands."

Feeling what was left of his control slip away, Sanji challenged him, running a single hand straight down his body, pausing only to caress those sexy abs, before finally settling against the next of pubic hair that peeked from the top of his pants.

"Asshole, what are you- Gaahhh!" Zoro's faced changed. It was back to ecstasy for now, his eyes rolling back into his head. His hips tensed up but he did not move, waiting carefully to see what the blonde would do. He was so close to- He felt Sanji's grip tighten, and the pleasure rolled through him in waves, as the lecherous blonde fondled his hard cock. "Nnnghh... Stop..."

"Why should I?" The cook taunted him, knowing the effect that his brash actions were having on the swordsman.

It appeared that even he was vulnerable to fleshly pleasures. They were both hot blooded men, after all. Even stroking a single finger down his length was making it jump and throb. It seems he wanted him bad.

With a tilt of his mossy head, Zoro indicated the door that could open any minute if someone woke up. And they were sure Usopp wasn't going to be capable of being very quiet while he was cowering in terror from what he'd witnessed only minutes ago. Everyone would be up soon, crowding them with mocking laughs and awkward questions.

"They are why..." He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the way that hand stroked his length, even as they talked. "Idiot! Knock it off!"

Unable to reach for his swords, Zoro grabbed him by the collar his shirt. Their eyes locked and he did his best to school his features. He didn't want to do it, but he had no choice. Taking a deep breath, he punched him right in the gut, shattering any illusions he might have had about a peaceful encounter. The blonde went flying toward the railing, lucky that he didn't fall overboard.

"What a neanderthal..." Sanji muttered, dusting himself off as he staggered to his feet.

He felt his knees shaking, and not from the pleasure this time. No... All pleasurable feelings had now left him. He shook his head at the memory of that warm, toned body leaving him. It had been over far too quickly for his liking and he already missed the feeling. Part of him was disgusted by himself for it. This wasn't some random stranger, this was Zoro he was talking about... And thinking about in ways that would have made any sailor, no matter how perverse, blush with shame.

Starting in the direction of the back of the ship, he turned his back to his opponent for a moment, feigning disinterest. He'd noticed, however, the way Zoro stood facing him, staring him down, as if he could anticipate his next move... The blonde whirled around and came at him with a hurricane of kicks. He had hoped to catch him by surprise, maybe, but he had hesitated for a moment too long, and then been unable to contain his temper. There was a fury surging forth from him that he couldn't hold back.

The swordsman seemed to read his every move, and hastily drew another of his swords so that he had one in each hand. They clashed, coming together like a delicate dance, full of fury and death... The cook came at him with kick after kick, all of which were deflected by his blades. Letting out a growl, Zoro came back at him twice as fierce. Every time he took a stab at Sanji, his every move was blocked by those strong legs.

'Legs I kind of wanna grab...' Zoro found himself thinking, despite trying to shake it off. 'Grab and pull him in close. Fuck all this fighting, it's all been a ruse this whole time anyway...'

He closed his eyes, in spite of the fight. It was more of a display than an actual battle. It was something memorized, almost choreographed in the familiar way the two always tangled. They both grunted as their moves briefly connected, sending each other sailing toward opposite ends of the ship.

When they stood, Zoro cracked his neck. The cook had landed a hefty kick on his shoulder, dislocating it. He snapped it back into place calmly, like it was nothing, his eyes locked on Sanji the entire time...

The blonde was staring him down too. He'd noticed his injury and he'd been about to offer to fix it, but the brutal way he popped it back into place was enough to make anyone cringe. Sanji wanted to continue their conversation, to explain that he didn't really mean to hurt him, but he knew it was pointless.

Words would be lost on him anyway.

He noticed instead that his jacket had been torn and cut in several places. "This was one of my best suits, you ass!"

"Why do you wear it on a Pirate ship anyway then?" Zoro taunted. "Besides, it looks dumb as fuck. Get over it."

There was a moment of hesitance, as the two tried to sort out whether they wanted to continue this fight or not. It would definitely wake everyone up if they did. There was no point making this worse. They had already crossed a certain line and there would be no going back.

"Not as dumb as you, shitty marimo..." Sanji lowered his voice down to barely utter the words.

The blonde moved closer to him, sizing him up. Zoro snarled, hands still gripping a sword in each. He clung to them like twin life preservers... Because that is what they were. They had preserved his life, and those of his nakama, many times. Right now, he could barely look this other man in the eye. This man, that he had known so well in battle, yet found himself coming apart at the seams with the simple thought of being in close proximity to him. He couldn't trust himself.

And Sanji did not miss the way his hands trembled, his single visible eye dragging downward, trying not to linger in the wrong places for too long. He breathed in, out...

"Shit..." He closed his eyes, turning to notice the sun beginning to come up over the horizon. "It's time to make breakfast."

Turning away, leaving Zoro with the view of only his back as he began to walk away, the cook made his way toward the kitchen. He couldn't afford to let his duties go neglected just because of one strange occurrence. Anyway, he needed an escape, an out... And one was provided. He could get out of here and clear his head, he could-

"Fine, shit cook..." In a flash, his opponent was right behind him. He didn't see Zoro, no. He felt his presence, the same overbearingly dominant presence that the swordsman always carried with him. He could feel his gaze smoldering, burning the back of his head. "We can continue this later."

'Promises, promises...' Sanji couldn't help but think, casually flicking his latest cigarette over the side of the ship as he walked into the galley to begin his morning ritual.


Everyone had been fed that day. Three square meals, just like always. Sanji had made sure to prepare them with the same care that he usually put into everything... No matter how distracted he was. Luckily, no one seemed to notice anything was up. It struck him as a bit off the way that their day had carried on as usual.

He had gone out of his way, just after dinner and before they all went to sleep, to make some special desserts for the crew. He'd made ice cream sundaes for everyone to enjoy. The eager cook had even gone out of his way to pay special attention to the ladies of the ship. The majority of them had received the standard sundae, with two scoops of their favorite ice cream and a bit of whichever type of syrup they preferred most. But Nami and Robin had each received one with all of the embellishments; an extra scoop of ice cream, layered between tons of homemade syrup, with fancy toppings like fresh fruit or nuts, and whipped cream with sprinkles on top. To say that they were fancy would be a massive understatement.

Nami was given hers with cookies and cream ice cream, and caramel sauce which Sanji had made himself, while Robin got hers with strawberry ice cream with chocolate syrup, also made from scratch. They were delighted to get them, but no more than usual. When he'd first started doing things like this for them, it was in an effort to make them feel special. And in the beginning, both girls had made a big deal over it, blushing furiously and giggling like crazy every time he made them something special. Now it had become so common for them that they barely seemed to appreciate it anymore, all but ignoring the cook as he brought them such lovely masterpieces. Not that he particularly minded, but he sometimes did miss the days when they would fawn over his food the way he did over them.

Today was different, however. He'd also made one for Zoro.

Sanji felt a little unsure when he approached the swordsman with the heavily embellished dessert... There was no way of knowing how he would react to it. Generally, he was not fond of being interrupted during his training, and everyone on the crew knew that. But food was one of the few accepted reasons to interrupt him and not get yelled at or worse.

Zoro paused in mid-swing, placing his ridiculously enormous set of weights down onto the deck gently. Sanji could only watch his muscles strain with the effort, silently stifling a whimper and trying desperately not to think about last night. The swordsman looked at him and they locked eyes for a moment, his expression unreadable. The blonde had an inkling that his own was painfully transparent.

"I made you something." He felt like an idiot the moment the words had left his mouth.

'Of course I did, I'm the ship's cook... I sound like such an idiot!'

Fighting down a blush, he held out the tray for the green haired man to take. He'd made Zoro something less sweet, since Sanji knew he didn't exactly have an affinity for sweets. It was three scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream, drizzled with sea salt caramel sauce which he'd made extra salty, and the same whipped cream he'd given the girls. He'd held back on the sprinkles though, feeling that there was absolutely no way he could get the ship's first mate to endure anything even remotely girly or whimsical like that.

He didn't even seem to notice it, instead scarfing it down like some kind of animal. In moments, Zoro consumed all of it, and then proceeded to lick the sticky syrup from his fingers with a satisfied smirk. Throughout all of this, he didn't say a single word. Sanji's single visible eye was drawn in like a fly to a spider's web to the way his tongue lapped at his digits, treating each of them as if they were the most delicious thing on earth.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Ah. There it was. Zoro's signature snark, right on time. It was the same as it had always been between them, only... At the same time, it was different somehow.

"Damn marimo, you could say thank you at the very least!" Sanji smacked him in the forehead with the tray he'd been carrying. It was gentle, but hard enough to still hurt. "I tried out a new recipe and I was waiting to see your reaction, so I'd know if it was a hit or miss. That's all."

He then turned to leave, before anything weird happened or their fight escalated. He didn't think he could take another round of fighting between the two of them right now.

"Wait." The other Pirate told him, without asking. Zoro gripped him by his shoulder, and then relented, his palm sliding down to the cook's forearm instead, but not quite touching his wrist.

"Hm?" Sanji paused, not yet pulling away, but also resisting the gentle tug he felt as the swordsman tried to pull him in closer.

"We need to talk."

He jerked back a little, startled.

"Eh? No, there's nothing-"

"It wasn't a question." And it clearly wasn't, if the intensity Zoro was now looking at him with was any indication. "Listen, about last night, umm..." He mumbled, looking away.

Here it was. He was going to tell him that it had just been a mistake, that he'd never really wanted to and didn't know what the hell he was doing, that they were both men and on top of that, they hated each other, and there was no way it could ever work between them.

"We don't have to ever speak of it again. It's alright." Sanji tried to turn to leave, before realizing that Zoro's grip had tightened on his arm.

"No. It's not that. I just..." He trailed off, not seeming to know how to put it into words.

There was a pause. Sanji just waited to see what was so important that it would drive hm to act like this. He made sure to resist the urge to lean in closer. Kissing him had been fun... Too fun, in fact. Things had been weird and tense ever since it happened, and he didn't want to misinterpret anything or send the wrong signals. No, he couldn't risk giving Zoro any more ammo to use against him. The blonde remained deathly still, as if frozen.

"Why don't we... Well, I mean..." The swordsman let go of him, to rub the back of his own neck in confusion.

"Get on with it. What are you trying to say? Just spit it out already." Sanji crossed his arms, rolling his eyes impatiently and biting back an insult.

"It's not so easy to just say it like this, but... I can tell you're as frustrated as I am. I mean, we've all been sailing for a long time, you know, and-"

"Whoa, hold on a minute! Are you suggesting that the two of us have sex?"

Zoro flinched at the entire sentence, seeming to shiver as the last word rolled off his tongue. "It's not like that. What I mean is, maybe we could keep at something simple. Just exchange, uhh..." He winced. "Alright, we could give each other handjobs, maybe?"

"Well... I am curious..." Sanji tilted his head back, staring down at him with a single blue eye.

"Yeah? No kidding. I could tell that after yesterday." He laughed, his shoulders heaving with the effort to suppress a chuckle.

"No, I mean... If you're so desperate for relief... Why don't you just get it on with Robin-chan or someone?"

"Hm. Did you have any luck with her?" The swordsman cocked an eyebrow at him, mirthfully.

"Well, no but-"

"Exactly. There's your answer." He nodded firmly, as if the matter was all settled and decided. It appeared that in Zoro's mind, it was.

"Look..." Sanji cut him off again. "Just because I can't, doesn't mean you couldn't... Maybe, I don't know!" He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. "I'm sure some of the others wouldn't mind helping you out though."

"Are you saying that I'm more attractive than you, ero cook?" That damned smirk was back.

"Ah, well..." He scratched the back of his head, his fingers roving over the blonde strands effortlessly. An insult definitely did not fit here, but a compliment didn't either. "Not exactly, but... Kind of?"

"Then you do think I'm attractive..." Zoro's smirk widened. He was clearly loving this. "That settles it then."

"Settles what? Damn it, shitty Marimo, fight me if that's what you want! But stop being weird already!" Sanji kicked at him, but he easily dodged it. The attack was only half-hearted anyway. He hadn't even put that much force into it.

"Hey! Watch it! Unless you want me to cut off that leg where you stand..."

"Idle threats. You wouldn't dare to do anything like that. You depend on this leg too much. It's what carries me to the kitchen to cook for you, and what defends you from enemies, and-"

He was silenced by a set of lips hastily pressed against his own. The swordsman was clutching him by the collar, holding him close so he couldn't move away just yet.

"What are you doing?"

"Shutting you up. Meet me here at midnight... Or else I'll drag you out of bed myself."

Zoro released the collar of his shirt. He hadn't even realized that he'd done that. Shaking himself off, he walked away, refusing to allow Sanji any room to argue. It really was settled now. They would both be there, regardless. Even Sanji still needed relief, after all...


A/N: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the lovely Kpuffs, for being my first actual ZoSan nakama, yay! ;D (If you haven't checked out her work, then you reeeeally should, because it's amazing, btw! She's one of my favorite writers.)

For the rest of you, I really hope to hear from you soon. I hope someone out there is enjoying this story. I have no idea how long it'll be, but I guess the muses have taken me by surprise, so who knows? I have lots of fun ideas for this though. Things should take an unexpected turn in the next chapter. Yay for surprises! ;D

-Kaline