It all happened at once. You check the messenger app again and read through all those messages inside that chatroom. How did things escalate this quickly? You have no business with things like planning giant charity events and neither does your sister. But it has been made clear to you that if you refuse to join… well let's say they've made the point clear that it would be better to join.
Your sister went outside to blow off some steam while you decided that you desperately needed a warm shower to do the same. If you don't let out some of your anxieties, you would blow up any time soon., and you know that this is a side of you that you don't want anybody to see. Especially not your sister.
While the hot water rinses down your body, you open the heavy door inside your soul. Only a little bit so that you don't let everything out at once, but enough to make your stomach cramp.
You sit down when you feel your legs giving in and start to sob and whip back and forth until you feel the cramps inside of you getting weaker.
The tears from you mix together with the fresh shower water and you keep sitting on the floor until you feel like you've shed yourself dry.
You can hear the door of the apartment open and get up immediately at the sound. As you step outside the bathroom, your sister asks you if you've used up all the warm water but you tell her that there's plenty left. She grabs a fresh towel and walks inside the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
You feel trapped. Trapped with a person that you should feel close to, but you don't. Which, to be honest, is not entirely her fault. You've long lost interest in building lasting relationships, no one taught you how to do that anyways.
Whenyou first moved to Korea, your sister had tried her best to be welcoming, but she soon realized just how different the two of you were. Which led to her attempts to make you go out with her, subside one by one. You don't blame her, as you see yourself not fit for those kind of things.
When she told you that you have no cultural understanding of this country, earlier this day, you had to agree with her. She was right. Adjusting was really difficult as you felt like you were stepping from one mistake into another. But this whole RFA thing was on a completely different level. This could be your downfall, or your ticket into a better future. Either way, it was a turning point in your life. you could feel it.
You reread the last text messages that you had received from Unknown and try to analyse every word from them. "It'll be really fun from now on. Enjoy your time with everyone. I'll go get you soon." Something felt off from that text but you couldn't exactly place what it was. "I'll go get you soon." Why would he say that? If he/she really wanted for you to be here and join the RFA, why would someone take you away from here soon again? Something wasn't adding up. You think about calling seven and talking about this with him, since he had told you to contact him if you find out something about the hacker. But you dismiss that thought. You don't want to creep everyone out even before they've actually gotten to know you better.
You try to look for something to eat, but of course the fridge and every other cupboard is empty so you decide that this was the perfect opportunity to get to know your new neighbourhood. You text your sister and tell her that you're out grocery shopping and head outside the door.
.
.
The cold air makes your nose itch and you are more than happy when you find a little convenience store around the corner. You browse lazily through their products when your phone rings. It is a number that you have never seen before but strangely enough, your phone displays a name together with the number. It is Jumin Han, the corporate heir from C&R and wow, does his voice sound stern. He thanks you for joining the organization and you tell him that you look forward to everything that is going to happen from now on. It is typical small talk, but it is nonetheless surprisingly pleasant. Jumin seems equally surprised and tells you that he is going to call you more often from now on. The way he said that made it sound final.
You giggle at yourself because you are on personal terms with Mister Jumin Han, something a lot of people would kill for. Things just keep getting more and more absurd.
.
By the time you get back to the apartment, your sister is already prepping the kitchen. You hand her the shopping bags and she starts scanning through the items. Her eyes sparkle at the sight of a pack of chocolate pudding and eagerly grabs one of them.
"How did you know I liked those?" she says, her voice filled with awe. You only shrug. You didn't know, you wanted one for yourself and tell her so. She only laughs and hands you a cup of pudding from the stack. You grab two spoons and hand her one.
"So, we're really doing this, right?" she asks while you prepare dinner.
"I guess we are." You simply answer, trying to focus on cutting down some spring onions. She stares at the ceiling, then back to you.
"You're so calm. Aren't you flustered by all this? I mean, they made us stay in an apartment that apparently belongs to a dead woman. All of this because someone lured you here. Most people wouldn't be this relaxed after a day like this." She's still looking at you so you stop chopping and try to think before answering.
"Well, I am not most people. Father taught me that nothing good would come out of being too emotional." In fact, being emotional was something you did not practise in front of him. Never. But you don't say any of it and leave it at that.
"What? Why would he say that? Whenever I talked to him over the phone, he was being so affectionate and told me that he missed me and whatever." You chuckle at that.
"I guess I've simply been the wrong twin to talk to, then." It sounded bitter and it was meant that way, but you bite your tongue as soon as the words leave your lips. Your sister expression changes into something defensive and you immediately regret saying anything at all. You try to take it back but she only waves it away like an annoying fly. It is quiet after that.
Seven had sent her a link to download the messenger app as well and you silently watch while she is greeted by the other guys in the chatroom. You throw in some responses when asked, but keep quiet most of the time. Your sister is doing an amazing job with the other members, it doesn't take long for them to forget that they were supposed to be suspecting the two of you. A joke here, a compliment there, it is all that it takes.
You feel hollow but are already used to that feeling and thus try not to dwell on it too much. Your phone buzzes and notifies you that you have a private message from one of the RFA guys. You switch the screen and find Yoosung asking you if you're alright. You tell him that you are just naturally quiet and that it had been a very odd day.
Yoosung:
It must have been so hard for you. Especially with all of us being so suspicious of you!
You:
No, it's fine. I would have been suspicious of myself too, if I were you. Give me some time, I will warm up eventually. Don't worry.
Yoosung:
Woah, you're so mature. I hope I grow up to be someone like you.
You:
?
You:
I thought you were only two years younger than me? lol
Yoosung:
I know. But Zen explained to me that growing up isn't always about age alone. And compared to you, I feel much more like a child.
You:
If that is the case, will you listen to everything I say? Since I'm the adult lol
Yoosung:
Oh? Yes, I guess I will. I feel like I can't do anything but surrender to you. lolol
You stifle a laugh and your sister looks up from her phone, her expression curious at first, before she remembers that she is pissed at you.
"What's the matter?" she said it with zero interest, but you knew better than that.
"Oh, nothing. I just thought that Yoosung reminded me an obedient puppy." Her face lights up at that. "Yes, I think so too. It's almost as if he was screaming 'I'm young and innocent, please adopt me. I promise I'll be a good boy.'" You both laugh at that.
When it's time for bed, you fall into the sheets like a rock, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up with you. It feels weird to be laying here, but you know that you have been sleeping in more compromising situations before, so you decide that you don't care about the fact that this was the bed of a dead girl. You look over to your sister and find her that she, however, isn't coping with everything as well as you are.
"Hey, you alright?" you ask her. She turns around to face you and takes your hand. "No, I don't think I am. It's all too... new. But I am glad that at least you are with me." You nod and smile, even though it doesn't reach into your soul. Your sister smiles as well and closes her eyes. It takes some time, but then you can see the subtle change in her breathing and know that she fell asleep. You wiggle your hand free and pull out your phone. There were only a few things that you disliked more than an unsolved puzzle, and nothing was screaming "mystery" louder than the circumstances you were currently in. You take screenshots from the messenger and inserted them into a new password protected folder.
Like any other puzzle before, you would solve this one as well.
The light of the screens casted a shadow on his face. Since he got back from his "field trip" he hadn't seen anything but computer screens. He opened the GPS app and located his target. When he saw the coordinates, he smiled. Good, so they managed to make the two women stay. Everything was going accordingly to their plan. After his last text, she had texted him back, asking him if he were by any chance dangerous. He chuckled, Of course, he was. He had hacked into her device, stolen her deepest secrets and inserted her into the great schemes of his saviour.
Speaking of secrets... without thinking about it, he pulled the password protected file from her phone, up on the screens. Rereading what he had previously found. He felt an all too familiar knot forming in his guts as he was reading and it didn't take long for him until he had to barf. Stupid stupid stupid.
She didn't deserve to be walking around in the filth of the people outside of paradise. He would bring her here, break her and then finally free her. It was the only way he could help her, and he would help her.
You feel your stomach twisting in ways it's not supposed to twist like. You feel cold. He hovers over you, cornering you. He has been drinking again, you think. And thanks to his workday, his mood is especially rotten today. You made sure to prepare dinner for him, steak, just the way he likes it. But all he stares at is you. And you do not like the way he stares. He bites into his meat but lets down his knife after a few bites.
"Come here. Why are you sitting over there? I've told you that you have to be close to me!" He is slurring, having difficulties getting the words out. He lies. Yesterday he told you to stay the fuck away from him. That you are the reason for all his misery. And you did. You made sure to fulfil his every wish, it was the only way to survive. You wonder if she feels that way, too. If she has to suffer as much as you do. Your other you, that is. You hope that she doesn't, but you aren't sure. He doesn't let you talk to her. Tells you that she doesn't want to hear your voice. And you take it. Every insult, every curse, you take it all. You have learned to keep quiet when he says those things. Built a little castle inside yourself in which you can lock everything that hurts you. You feel nothing. At first, you think that it is a good thing. But he is furious with you. He is always furious with you. You think about tearing down the castle inside of you, but when you open the door inside of you, it all comes crashing down.
You scream and start hurting yourself, only to be taken into a hospital. They want to lock you up, he doesn't let them. When you get back home, he makes you thank him for saving you. Thank him in the way no father should make his daughter thank him. You're young. But it is not the first time. You know what to do to make it short. He gasps and then shoots his disgusting fluids into your mouth. You don't scream, you don't flinch. It would only make him going at it again. So you take it. Gulp it down and go silently to the bathroom and get rid of it. You do so without making a sound. God, he would be so mad if he heard what you were doing so you let the water from the sink flow just to make sure.
You get up and walk over to him. He reeks. You want to throw up but you don't. You don't dare to. He grabs your head and pushes you under the table. "Daddy had a pretty fucked up day. So be a good girl and help your daddy get some release." You're scared. But only for a moment. Then you count to ten inside your head and shove all your feeling inside your little castle. You're nothing but a shell right now and your soul is locked up inside of you. The only place where he can't hurt you.
You open his belt and lean over his crotch.
You hate those dreams. It has been a long time since you had your last one but you suppose that this whole situation threw you off more than you first thought. You get up and walk into the bathroom. Mechanically cleansing your mouth. The dream left a disgusting aftertaste and there was nothing that got rid of it better than your little routine of cleaning your mouth. When you walk back into the bedroom, your sister sits on the mattress.
"What were you doing?" her forehead has wrinkles on them full of worry. It is a look that you do not like.
"nothing, I needed something to drink."
She opens her mouth but closes it again. Then she shakes her head and starts again. "You were... whimpering in your sleep. I thought you cried." She says, her voice whispering even though the two of you were the only ones here.
You command your face to smirk at her. "Whimpering, I see. Well you know, since I am your older sister, I should have a talk with you. About things that a grown up woman dreams about that could make her whimper."
Her face becomes red and she hisses at you. "I told you that you are only twelve minutes older than me. Stop the bullshit. I know what I heard and it didn't sound like this kind of whimpers." Your traitorous face falls, only for a second, but it is enough for her to notice.
"Look, I know that you're not made out of stone. Even if you want to make me believe that. I know that this day has been just as disturbing as it has been for me. This hacker. I know they said that he could be related to this Rika, and as much as I would like to think that, too, I can't help but think that he might actually NOT be related to her. That he is dangerous. And it frightens you, too. Does it not?"
You think a bit. Does it frighten you? You aren't sure, you feel perfectly fine. But again, you don't tell her that. You want this talk to be over with, so you only nod. "Yes. I'm sorry, I'm simply shaken up by everything. I guess I was having a bad dream because of it." It isn't completely false, which is what makes it more believable. You're good at half-truths.
She grabs your hand and pulls you onto the bed. You stroke her hair and she strokes yours. She falls asleep first. Slowly straightening the worry-wrinkles on her forehead and you promised to yourself that you would not let yourself to be the cause of any more wrinkles on her face.
The oath makes you feel odd. It is... somehow warm and cold as ice at the same time. Before you can think about more, you let that weird feeling wrap itself around you and pull yourself into a dreamless sleep.
