A/N: Okay I know it starts with Angel but bear with me please.
Chapter 2
'To ere is human, to forgive divine'. Everyone asks for forgiveness at sometime in their lives whether the problem is big or small. But what if it was murder? Could you forgive someone you love for that? Even if they don't ask for it or don't think they deserve it, could you still love them? Or trust them? Who can say? And what if they didn't have a choice? Life is full of "what if?" and "if only" but they always come too late. Can you make amends for death? Maybe, maybe not but you could die trying.
Angel watched from a roof top as people walked and hurried along the darkened L.A streets. Hurrying home to loved ones, families and friends. It's funny how you can be surrounded by people but feel totally alone. Although the last few nights he couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. He'd felt that way ever since Doyle's death. Maybe it was his imagination, after all he and Doyle used to stand on that very roof top doing exactly as he was doing now; watching, waiting for the underground evil to show it's ugly, sadistic self in every form you could ever imagine and worse.
Back in Sunnydale evil was pretty easy to find, whatever shape it took there were four main haunts - the park, the graveyard, the bronze and the school, where Angel himself had done some damage. He could still see Miss Calendar's face when he closed his eyes. The horror on her face before he broke her neck. Sunnydale was small and it had Buffy Summers- the Slayer, 'the chosen one'. The girl who stands between good and evil with her 'Slayerettes'; Willow the Wicca, Xander the smart alec and Giles the Watcher. He trained Buffy to be the best Slayer she can be. And was the father figure she so desperately wanted. He taught her and Angel some very valuable lessons. Like, not to take your skills and intuition for granted or not to trust your instincts. This meant that the possibility of someone or something watching Angel is a very real one. He walked along the roof edge so he could look round the corners of the stairwell, but he could hear nothing and see nothing. The feeling was beginning to un-nerve him, which for a vampire was strange in itself. He made his way to the stairwell door, and as he did he heard a shuffle in the grit on the roof.
"Ok who's there?" nothing "c'mon I just heard you move so I know someone is there, show yourself". Still nothing happened, no noise, no movement. He turned and headed home.
He crawled into bed and fell asleep almost instantly. Through the fuzziness of his dream he could see a girl sitting beside him on his bed staring at him. He couldn't quite make out clearly what she was saying but it sounded like she was saying sorry for something. There was something familiar about her but he couldn't place her. Then he heard her say 'I'll make things better for you I promise, whatever it takes. I will not let them win.' She kissed him on the forehead and was gone as if she was never there.
XxXxX
"Hey Angel", Cordy was behind a desk reading a trashy magazine. Angel didn't even notice her. "Uh, Hello?! Earth to Dead guy walking!"
"Oh sorry, hi Cordy, how's it going?!" He carried on walking towards his office. Cordy followed him in and shut the door.
"Why'd you do that?" looking at the door.
"Habit. Look you've been in a funk recently, and you know I'm not the type to pry but what's the deal?"
Angel raised a sarcastic eyebrow. Not the type to pry, yeah, right. "It's nothing Cordy, nothing important".
"So there is a something?!"
"Maybe, I don't know."
"Angel there's either something or nothing, it can't be both, but don't tell me it's nothing cause you have that something face you get when you're worried about something, so spill. It can't be anything that bad or I would have had a vision, which I haven't, so tell me or I'm gona sit here all night and stare!"
"Do you ever take a breath while you're talking? I don't know Cor, I feel like someone is watching me all the time. It's like I can feel someone's eyes burning into my back all the time but there's never anyone there. It's probably nothing but my imagination"
"Why do I feel like you're not telling me everything?" Angel stared straight past her. "Angel. You'd wana know everything if it was me so come on dish, what aren't you telling me?"
"I've......" Angel sucked in a deep breath. He wasn't sure how much he wanted to tell Cordelia. He wasn't sure how much she knew about his past. He'd only ever told Buffy anything in detail but no doubt Giles had researched. How much has she been told? "I've been having these dreams". His voice wasn't much more than a mumble, but Cordy had learnt to tune in to Angel's mumbles over the past couple of months.
Cordelia waited for him to continue but he didn't. "What kind of dreams?...........Angel?"
He gave a deep sigh and looked at her for a while, trying to decide how much to tell her.
The hell with it, might win me sympathy points!
Where the hell did that come from?
Oh come on man, look at her! She's a very sexy girl. She used to have the hots for you, wonder if she still does. This could be our lucky night, as long as you gag her. Talking during sex isn't a turn on.
Angel shook his head to clear his thoughts. What's going on? This is not like me. He looked up to see Cordy staring, waiting for him to answer. "Nightmares I thought I'd got past years ago."
"Did they start the same time as the feeling?"
"Yeah. That's what scares me."
"And the nightmares are about?..... Maybe we can work out what's going on. It's not like we've got anything to investigate".
The corner of Angel's mouth quirked at Cordelia's persistence. She put up a tough front, pretending not to care but deep down she did and wanted to help, that's why he employed her.
"Things I'm being punished for. The things I've done to people, good people, people I loved. Friends. Family. It all comes back to me and I can't wake up from it."
"Angel those things weren't done by you. They were Angelus."
"We are the same thing; he is inside me all the time waiting to escape."
"You and Angelus share the same body but you are not the same. Angelus is evil. You are Angel and a good person. You help people and you feel the hurt for the things Angelus did because you're not the same. Would you feel the hurt if you and Angelus were really the same? Would I still be in this room or working with you to save the world if you were evil? I can't believe after all this time you are still in this self pitying funk! You have got to get on with things!"
"I killed my parents, my friends; hundreds maybe even thousands of people. I killed my own sister, Cordy. She was a little girl. I went home the night I rose again with the intention of killing my parents for not loving me. I was a drunken, useless lay about but I blamed them for my death, my failure to make anything of myself. Suddenly this whole new world was open to me. I could be someone. someone to be feared, someone not to be crossed, someone who could do what I wanted, when I wanted without anyone saying no, or telling me I was wrong or out of line. I went home that night and knocked on that door. Cathy answered, her eyes were filled with such joy when she saw me. I had to reach out and touch her face. She was so pretty and innocent. Thought I was a hero even though I never did anything to earn her idolisement." he stopped to chastise himself for feeling sorry for himself.
"Cathy was your sister?" Angel nodded. "Then I'd guess that's all the reason she needed, you were her big brother."
"But I didn't deserve it. I reached out to stroke her face and she saw a cut on my hand. She kissed it better and told me to come inside out of the dark and then I killed her. I sank my fangs into her neck like it was the easiest thing in the world, which it was. I felt nothing when she fell to the floor. I knew what I had done and didn't care. My parents, now they were a different matter. I felt satisfied that I'd killed them." Angel had to stop talking, he felt like he was going to be sick.
"When will you get it into your head that wasn't you? You are the one who's sitting here in front of me reliving these nightmares and not enjoying a single minute of it. You are ANGEL; you're the one who is helping people and being haunted by these ghosts every day. You are you. That was Angelus; the only thing that links the two of you is the body and your memories. Angelus is an illegal tenant in your body. Do not get the two confused. I know the difference and so do you deep down; Angel is the guy who fought beside the Slayer. A vampire fighting along side the one person sent to kill them is not normal for a bad vampire so you must be of the good kind. You left to make her life easier. Angelus would have hung around and tortured her til she cracked. Angelus wouldn't have fallen in love with her or anyone. But you do, you know what love is." Angel snapped his head up to look at her. "I know you call her when you get real sad. You never talk; you never have the courage to. You hang up as soon as she says hello. I know this because I'm nosey, I listen at door ways. It's a flaw but I find it comes in handy at times." She paused "Everyone who knows you and Angelus know that you are not the same. Would Buffy have loved you if you were? Would she have trusted you the way she did? I don't think so, I mean I know she was weird but even she wasn't that weird."
She had lost Angel somewhere in the last few words he was out of his chair and slowly creeping towards the office door.
"Angel?" He raised his finger to his lips to signal her to be quiet as he slowly opened the door. He stood in the door way and scoured the room. Cordelia stood beside him.
"Who's there?" There was a short sharp noise he couldn't place.
"What was that?" Cordelia whispered.
"That's what's been following me"
"Well I guess we can rule out insanity!" she hissed.
"Who are you? Why are you following me?" but no noise came. "What do you want from me? Do I know you? Will you help me to help you. I'll find out how to see you eventually." still nothing "Do something dammit!" he was yelling at the room.
"Angel, calm..." but she halted mid sentence when a noise came from her desk. Angel moved slowly, step by step towards it. He stopped a few feet away and waited. A page of the magazine fluttered then turned. Cordelia gasped.
"Ok, this is a little scarier than our normal monsters and demons, this one we can't see."
XxXxX
A/N: Okay ,so that's the start of their troubles. What do ya think?
Catch ya on the flip flop!
